mew

This may seem a little confusing..but bear with me svp.

Im a little confused myself...When my bf and I started going out, we ended up talking about being open with eachother. I asked him the loaded question, but as a serious one: If I got fat would you tell me?
And to my surprise he said he would, which I was actually greatful for, because that would mean he would be honest with me and be concerned for my weight.
My problem is that recently he told me basically Im fat, but I went to this website: www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/bmi/calc-bmi.htm , that tells you an approxamation to your weight status according to height and weight(pretty good site), and it tells me that im normal. Ive read the "What does this all mean " link and it doesnt exactly calculate muscle and whatnot, but it gives me a general idea. Im 5'2 and 110lbs (used to be 97 lbs) and its hard for me to be on a diet due to my Hectic schedule...
So my questions for you all is:
1. How fat is fat?
2. Diet suggestions?(atkins is not my ideal though..too much meat :P)Preferably for the veggie lover-
Oh and heres another for you all..
3. Would you tell your other half that their getting fat(if they were)?
4. Would you want your lover to tell you that you were getting chunky?

Thanks guys!

bobw

Fat-ness is in the eye of the beholder.

Mael

when you hit 130, then be concerned.

your weight doesn't say anything about being fat, if you look in the mirror and you think you look fat, then do something to look how you want. if your clothes no longer fit right, definatly do something (it's cheaper than buying a new wardrobe). don't "diet." try to get a bit of exercise in, or park further away in parking lots, take the stairs, etc if you don't have time to exercise. cut back on the alcohol and maybe watch what you eat a bit.

i'd tell my other half if i had another half that she was getting chunky. i'm a fatass but losing it and since health and exercise has become important to me, i'd hope she'd feel the same way. or at least humor me.

and she should definatly tell me if i'm getting fatter. cause that's unacceptable to me.

at 110, unless your a midget... err... sorry, vertically challenged, you aren't fat.

sapiens

I wouldn't worry about being fat. Body mass index (BMI) that they use when they ask your height and weight isn't the end all be all (whether it tells you that you are fine or not).

I certainly would not worry about dieting if I were you. I would worry about being active. Get some exercise. If you are active, you will feel better.

As to your question about telling my partner, I would tell her if she was outrageously fat and sedentary. If that were the case, I would probably be the same way. I would tell her that we both need to start being more active.

motdakasha

1. Fat is when you are in an air conditioned store and sweating bullets and panting like you just ran the Olympics because of your large mass. Fat is when you have to turn sideways and lift your rolls to fit through the aisle to get to the cashier to purchase your handfuls of candies you compulsively grabbed. Fat is when you can't wipe your ass (this actually happens). Fat is when the sweat between your rolls smells like mildew because you can't properly wash yourself and the sweat starts back up immediately after you've bathed. You are not fat.

2. While most people associate diet with some regimen, anything you eat is a diet. Just try to eat healthier. Change things slowly and permanently. For instance, avoid fast foods, candies, sodas, and foods with lots of saturated or hydrogenated fats.
The best way to lose weight with faster results is through exercise. Diets should be changed slowly and they don't affect your weight nearly as much if done properly. Exercise on a daily basis, or work up to it by doing something once a week, then twice a week, etc. Once you get into the habit of exercising, you'll be able to lose weight. When you reach your desired goal, don't stop exercising. This is a lifestyle change and should be permanent.

3. I wouldn't say it straight out. If they complained about their weight a lot and were obviously not happy with themselves, then I would suggest exercising more or doing something about it after a while. Initially, though, I'd encourage them to be happy with who they are.

4. Not directly to the point of being shocking or rude.


My personal experience:
Seriously, though. At 5'2" and 110 lbs, I can hardly believe that you would look fat. I used to be 110# (I'm the same height). I was definitely not fat. However, at 127#, I can definitely say I'm developing a layer, yet my friends tell me I'm far from fat and they wouldn't lie about something like that. While everyone else seems to like the way I look, I'm still putting in effort to get my body back to the way it used to look at 115# as I was much happier with my weight there. Below that and I've had people ask me if I was anorexic or bulimic (which is why I doubt you look fat). I would seriously put into question your SO's idea of beauty. If he likes stick thin like supermodels, then yeah, you may be fat in his eyes. (In which case, I'd refer him to this link.) But from a level-headed perspective you sound like you're a far cry from fat. If *you* are unhappy, do something about it. If you feel fine about your weight, I'd suggest finding a new SO. =^-^=

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djm

5-2 110 is not fat under ANY circumstances. I like a girl who is 5-4 135 and she is frickin hot. Your bf sounds like a jerk.

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lafemmefatale

1. How fat is fat?
Let's break this down, there's the could lose 5 lbs fat, chubby fat, and fat fat. I find that for me if i'm in the 'could lose 5 lbs' zone...it's visible, as in less flattering of a figure. But it's not FAT. all it takes is a week or even less of slightly more exercise/less junk food. If that's where you're at, which is what it sounds like to be...or even not [110 is my dream], you have nothing to worry about. You're NOT fat.

2. Diet suggestions? For keeping slim and trim/light weight loss, just cut a little bit of food here and there if you haven't got the time for exercise. I haven't either really, but maybe set aside one morning of the weekend to do a good jog. For a mroe dramatic amount, sorry, I don't believe this is right but everyone says the low carbs thing works. Erg.

3. Would you tell your other half that their getting fat(if they were)? Only if it was detrimental for their own well being as in...significant enough to pose as a health risk, or significant enough for insults from others leading to low self esteem. 5-10 lbs is nothing. Consider it as an early christmas weight and water weight . Besides it's nice for snuggling when it's a little soft heeeee...


4. Would you want your lover to tell you that you were getting chunky? Mais biensur! [yes] It's not really neccesary for girls i dont think they're their own toughest critics, but i like to look good for me SO. Of course it has to be reasonable. Not like...grow some bigger boobies.

Finally, common sense, healthy eating, good exercise will always keep you from being fat. Your bf is entitled to his opinion but...calling you fat isn't accurate. It's more like you don't hold his idealistic visions of beauty influenced by skin mags and it's airbrushing. In which case a good smack across the face should get some sense back into him. Now go indulge in a big mac. You deserve it! ^-^

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motdakasha

As for Atkins, I'm absolutely against that diet even though I eat a lot of meat. Here's why:

Your brain is fueled by glucose.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1368912.stm

Atkins diet is all about bringing your body into a dietary ketosis by denying your body of glucose (carbs). This makes your body use ketones as a substitute fuel instead of glucose.
http://www.ketosis-ketoacidosis-difference.com/

Your brain evolved to use glucose as a fuel, not ketones. So, while I have no grounds to prove this, I believe that ketones are probably not the best fuel for the brain. Why deprive your brain of the fuel it was meant to use? The way I see it, Atkins diet is like putting diesel fuel in a regular gasoline/petrol car.

I'm all for the carby goodness. Everything in moderation. Variety is the spice of life.

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rodgerd

1/ If you're not medically overweight, then you don't really have anything to worry about.

Sounds like your boy may be suffering from some unrealistic ideas about what fat is. I know a couple of women your height and weight (around 50 kilos); both are tiny, and neither are what I'd describe as fat. If anything, I suspect you'd have been verging on underweight at 45 kilos.

3/ I've told partners if I think they're getting to the point where they're unhealthy or hurting my ability to find them attractive, but it's awkward to do tactfully. And it's something that needs to be a realistic assesment. There's a difference between "fat" and "not suffering from Hollywood Shrinking Disease."

It's also something that can't be dropped without being prepared to do something to help out - modifying how you eat as a couple, for example.

4/ Yeah. I've lost a bit of weight in the last year (about 10 kilos, or 20 pounds), and my wife announced, "that's good, you were beginning to get chubby." I could have done with hearing that when I'd put on 5 kilos from my original weight...

anti fishstick

uh ok. according to your boyfriend i must be a whale cos i'm 5 lbs more than you at 5'2. IMO you're at a healthier weight now than you were before.

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Sleepyjack

Fat is entirely subjective. If you're happy with your body then thats all that matters. You shouldn't feel to obliged to drastically change anything to make him happy. He's probbaly the one with the problem not you, because of unrealistic ideals and expectations.

bermuDa

I'd worry when i can't carry her, so that's around my weight (160lbs). If i were to tell someone they were fat it'd be in a really roundabout way... I've had a lot of friends who were ridiculously sensitive about their weight (and weren't even fat), and I've learned to be very careful what i say about a woman's weight, even if it's in jest. It's not their fault though, I blame modern entertainment and beauty magazines for creating this illusion of how real people should look. According to your boyfriend a girl I find incredibly attractive is fat, and I couldn't disagree more.

you don't need to have 0% body fat to not be fat, your boyfriend needs a reality check.

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Jesus Pimp

If you got a big gut with jelly rolls, you're fat.

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lurkette

I have to agree with all of the folks who say there's no way you could possibly be fat, at 5'2" and 110.

This, however, is a little beside the point.

Allowing your bf to dictate your body image. Don't let him, and don't trust a word he says about being fat if he thinks you're fat at your current size. Sheesh. A "healthy" BMI is between 18 and 25, and you're at a very trim and healthy 20. Most Hollywood actresses, against whom we are tempted to measure ourselves, are between 15 and 20; below 18 is technically considered underweight and is not healthy.

Measure your body fat percentage. Muscle weighs more than fat, so if you're fit (for women, body fat of around 22% is pretty average) you're going to weigh slightly more than you would if your body fat percentage were higher. This is a more reliable gauge of fitness than weight.

Eat a balanced diet full of fruits and veggies. Eat a handful of nuts if you get snackish instead of chips. Lift weights.

And as important as physical attraction is, it's nothing compared to loving someone regardless of their appearance. Ratbastid and I have both put on some weight since we got married, and we know it, but it doesn't keep us from wanting to tear each other's clothes off.

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yournamehere

You said you're grateful he wanted to be honest with you.
Now that he has, you're trying to discredit his opinion.
When he said, "basically you're fat," what he meant was, "<i>In my opinion</i>, you're getting fat."

You can collect all the information you want, but doesn't it really come down to the fact that only two people's opinions count here - yours and his? I mean - do you really want to know when you're "officially" overweight, or is the fact that your boyfriend thinks you are enough?

That being said, here's a more important question: Is he shallow enough for that to be important? I hope not.

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troit

Very well said IMO. This is the reply you should pay attention to!

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Stare At The Sun

*shrugs* if you have time to do some jogging, and eat healthier, etc, because you are "fat" then its a good excuse to do so, you'll loose a few pounds in the process, and be happier. As will your SO. Atleast he had the balls to tell ya what he really felt. I'd say just eat a little better, and jog or something, your body though. And really, working out only helps you!

mew

Hey thanks guys-I appreciate the advice. Yeah, that is what I need really to eat less junkfood(I cant obsolete them -chocolate-how can you say no!?) and try to get as much exercise as possible. I do park in the farther end of the lot (as you sugg. Mael), but I could do more. YOURNAMEHERE: Your probably right, perhaps I misunderstood him and he meant "In my opinion your getting fat", to a certain degree..Well. You know what. To feel healthier Ill eat healthier and do more exercise by fitting it into my lifestyle (walking my dog more,etc).

Battlefield

To me fat is when you have jiggly meat or cellulite(or any part of you looks unnaturally wrinkled)

Theres many girls who are bigger, meatier but still toned enough that they have firmness.

Your boyfriend might not necessarily mean you are straight up fat, but that compared to the way you used to be you are fat(10 lbs is significant for you).

Like people said gaining weight isn't that bad, but do some exercises to keep your body toned and fit

Also walking is pretty useless, even if you walk everyday from the farthest part of the parking lot it won't do you much good(unless it's the disneyland parking lot or something)

Dano069

5' 2" and 110? I don't think that's fat. My wife is 5' 5" and 155 and she's not fat either. In fact, when we go out, lots of guys check her out. Please don't go on a diet. You are NOT fat!

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NeumannU87

See, there is no possible way you can be considered fat. My girl is 5' 2" and weighs 118 lbs. and she is SMOKIN', so there is NO way you should be worried about being fat. My suggestion to you is to just cut out the nasty stuff in your diet, and you'll lose weight. Instead of getting a large sub, get a medium. Instead of mowing down a bag of Doritos, grab a bag of pretzels. It's really easy. I lost 25 lbs. in a little over three months doing this. Oh and two things- 1) Eat breakfast! Even if it's just a banana and a thing of yogurt, do it! 2) Drink water incessantly. It speeds up your metabolism (you will have to pee a little more often, though) and it makes you seem way less hungrier than you are. Plus, it's good for you.

wwcd101

It's not about fat anyway. It's about fitness and strength. Muscle and fat can weigh the same but look very different.

If you're not working out, that is a bad thing. Don't make excuses. Just do it. And, quit spending thinking about what other people think about your weight.

Thanks for listening.

jimk

1) fat to me is when i start feeling uncomfortable just sitting or walking around (typically when i've put on about 15-20). that's when i know that i need to cut back on the donuts a bit.......

2) you can do atkins with cheese & tofu, if you want. it is clearly what works fastest, but i think just not having dessert & working out like a fiend is probably a lot healthier.

3) "getting fat"? no. maybe i would tell her that she just doesn't look comfortable in that outfit anymore.......(HINT!).

4) if it's bothering them, yeah. the thing is, you've kind of got an implied deal when you hook up with someone that this is how you look & feel. when that starts to slip, it's kind of a bait & switch, i think. i already know when i'm getting too big, so a gentle verbal push from the wife just helps to light a fire under my ass to lose the pounds.........which ends up making me feel better anyway.

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giblfiz

sounds to me like you asked for something, and then when you got it you found you didn't like it so much.
So here are my answers

1) fat is when you start to look sort of round. On the other hand fatter is about 5 pounds more than before. Thin is hidiously low bodyfat. Your S.O. was probably commenting that you were no longer thin.

2) you want a really easy diet? try chugging a glass of water before you eat anything. that includes snacks and meals. And I mean a damd big glass of water.

3) depends on the girlfreind mostly and partaly on my relationship with her. I would never have drempt of making anything but a worshiply positive comment on her apperance. On the other hand my last GF got the "damd, your getting fat" comment a few times.

4) If my weight bothers them they its good to have that out in the air, on the other hand I'm never a fan of nagging.

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costello

eh if you ever think your fat ... just think of me and find solace ... 6'2" 280 lbs

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mew

You guys are awsome!Thanks a lot! So more water and exercise..yeah. Thing is I hate water...just plain and I just dont like it..and I dont eat breakfast casue it makes me sick all morn and afternoon. Dunno why. But ill eat healthier snacks and whatnot.Danke all

laxative

I tell my old lady she's fat every day.

Sleepyjack

if you don't like water (which seems wierd since your body is about 70 odd per cent water!) you could try having it in different ways, for instance herbal tea is gold. There are lots of different types of herbal tea and you shoudn try to find one wou like and then knck it back like no tomorrow.
You also need breakfast though cause it boosts your metabolism. The sick feeling might be your body clock or something adjusting to it. If you do it regulary it might fix it up or something....

btw as most others have pointed out you're not too fat. The small lifestyle changes you are making should mainly and primarily be for your own health and well being.

clavus

The Clavus Fat Rules:
Women - If your gut extends farther than your tits, you are fat
Men - If your gut extends farther than your flacid dick, you are fat.

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Jim Kata

"Men - If your gut extends farther than your flacid dick, you are fat."

That is called a Dickydo. Your belly hangs out farther than your dicky do.

Needless Post #240 for me!

Shpoop

I hate it when people say 'being fat is in the eye of the beholder'
while this is true, this is not the answer she was looking for!

That being said, i cant really say if you are fat without some sort of picture or reference... but if you were to excercise more ( you really will feel better) any excess will quickly shed....

as for the atkins, never done it, never ever considered doing any sort of diet (excercise!) but as far as the brain being fueled by glucose and not ketons, i dont think there would be any medical risks, but you will probly get headaches more easily, and if you are anticipating a hard streak of workin in school, dont do it because you probably wont do as well on tests

numist_net

yes, while fat is subjective, there are a few things to keep in mind.
You can be heavier than your supposed average weight per height, and still have no fat, just muscle, and it is somewhat possible (although nearly impossible) to be at the bottom of the range, and still be fat.
My definition of fat is as soon as the cellulite gets lumpy, then that counts as fat.
But.... my g/f and I have agreed to avoid that problem entirely and work out together. Probably a more amiable solution....

You are 5'2" and 110 pounds, that is not fat. Its not skinny, but it is definitely not fat.

[edit] upon actually looking at the site you provided, I found this, which basically says the same thing:
[/edit]

[2nd edit] sorry that the above edit looks so godawful... the ubb code didnt agree with the html... you get the idea though [/edit]

Midlandmadman

I think the BMI is full of crap..... I was at my doctor the other day and at 5'11 162 It put me in the last range of normal the next one (if I weighed 166) It would have said I was in the first zone of over weight..... I am not or never will be overweight. So, I guess what I am saying is don't worry so much about statistics and such. I would also not care about what someone else thinks is fat. If your blood-pressure is high and your doc. tells you to drop a few pounds and watch your eating, then it might be something to worry about. Till then .... YOU LOOK FANTASTIC!

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Redlemon

One question; how much time elapsed between these two weights? If you put on 13 pounds in the last month, your BF may be concerned of what you will look like in a few months, and is just heading the problem off at the pass.

Sparhawk

Fat is like pornography. I can't define it, but I know it when I see it.

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skysooner

There are some clinical definitions for fat. Not too long ago, I met the clinical definition of obese (more than 50 lbs above my recommended weight). I am well on my way to losing most of this (currently 32 lbs and counting). However the way I carry my weight didn't make me look grossly obese. Some people carry weight differently and 5 lbs on one person can appear quite different than 5 lbs on another person. Personally I think people should be at a weight they are comfortable at mentally and live with it. I was comfortable for a number of years until I decided I couldn't stand the look of myself in the mirror anymore. I'm not where I want to be yet, but I soon will be.

battlemouth

fat is a term used when people dont like their bodies, over weight is when your health is being effected by your weight

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Vyxen

That could be a sign of lack of certain vitamins in your body. Might want to look into taking a daily multivitamin as well. =) I believe dehydration can cause that, too? Personally, about 2 months ago I had made a point to drink much more water each day and I have felt better than I have in a LONG long time. It helps your body flush out all the toxins and even helps with healthy weight loss. However, I definitely suggest speaking to your doctor about the morning nausea from breakfast.

And as many have said, you're not fat. I honestly can't tell your age by the posts, but perhaps you could be gaining natural weight from growing?

Anyway, good luck on getting healthy! I'm right there in that same boat, too. Stay positive and above all don't do it for your boyfriend or anyone else, do it for your very own health and happiness. =)

[Edit: Quickly wanted to add in that in my opinion you don't need to lose any weight. At your previous 97lbs it seems too thin, but then again, it does depend on how you are built. The same weight on different people with the same height could be very different! I'd say it's more important to stay near that weight by exchanging fat for muscles instead of trying to lower the number on the scale. Oh and don't forget your body needs some fat on it to live.. women do need some on their hips, butt, etc. Take care!]

jbrooks544

It doesn't sound like you are mega fat - maybe your S.O. just thinks you could lose a few pounds. Maybe he is right.

Answers to:
#1. depends. If you think you are fat then you are fat. If you S.O. thinks you might be a tad fat then maybe you want to see what you can do to keep him happy and attracted to you - as long is it is within reason.
#2. From what I've seen, the best option is Weight Watchers. Join it, do it, live it. It gets your "diet" back on track. Not a stupid fad diet, like the worthless Atkins typ crap. You learn to change your long term habits a little and gradually lose a pound her and there.
#3. Yes, I think I would - actually I have. 30+ lbs gained after 2nd child, we talked about it and she has been going to weight watchers for over a year and is almost back to fighting shape - she looks a thousand times better and feels good too and is happy for it. Never was a skinny girl and that is fine, she's Hawt!
#4. Yes, definitely! I'm not skinny but I have never had too much of a problem with my weight. If she thought I was getting fat - please tell me b/c I want her to be attracted to me.

savethenaugs

From the info you've given, it does not sound like you have a problem. As many people have pointed out above, though, it depends on how its distributed. If you are all muscle, you are prolly skin and bones. If you have no muscle, you prolly jiggle a little too much.

The main thing that I wanted to say is that the BMI is a bad way to measure your fitness. It does not take into account your composition, as stated above, but it is also flawed. It uses your height squared versus weight as its measure. But the last time I checked we are built in three dimensions, so it should be your height cubed versus weight. It gets really apparent that the BMI is screwed up for very short and very tall people. For instance, Shaq is horribly overweight using the BMI scale because he is so tall.

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