Help me like people more
 

All my life I've never been a fan of people. They always find some way of annoying or disgusting me. I meet the ocassional decent human. I have a nice group of friends from different places. I'm social. I have a girlfriend. Yet I don't like people. I don't like how our society functions. I want to like more people but it's very hard. Any suggestions?

But.... but.... You're Jesus!


Oh, how I feel so betrayed...


Okay, serious now... What is it that you don't like about the general public? I'm not a fan of most people most days either. I'm too jaded and cynical.

But I'm a pimp.. :P

Greed, consumerism and over consumption, capitalism, corruption, over development (i.e housing, malls, corporations etc..), overpopulation, how people treat each other (i.e skin color, social class), how people act (rudeness is fashion nowadays, stupidty, ignorance), wars etc.. etc..

I think one thing that helps is to realize that you're "people" for someone else who doesn't like people.

There's something redeeming about every person (or almost every person - not so sure about people like Hitler or Manson, but even they had mothers who probably saw something good in them). It helps to look for that thing, or even make it up if you have to just to keep from going postal or turning into a misanthrope. One thing that's helped me a lot is actually my brother's death (sorry to keep harping on it). I was in such a funk afterward I didn't want to be nice to anyone. I just wanted to be left alone. I saw how people could interpret that as being bitchy or rude or whatever, and I started cutting other bitchy, rude people some slack. "Who knows," I'd think, "maybe their brother just died." The other stuff you talk about - greed, consumerism, consumption, etc., that's the aggregated effects of individual actions. The best you can do there is recognize where your own actions are contributing to the problem and alter your behavior, and serve as an example for others. Seeing your own faults gives you compassion for others' faults, and helps you not judge them. Get involved in grass-roots action that changes public consciousness.

Can't remember where I heard this, probably a book by the Dalai Lama or Thich Nut Han or whatever his name is, but it also helps to look for the "buddha nature" in people, that spark of divine being that is at the core of every person, but that we have forgotten we have and is covered up by our very human-ness.

Compassion is a much healthier response - for you - than anger, anyhow.

Good luck wrestling with this particular demon. I carry it on my back, too.

I'd help but I like very few people myself..hmmm should we have a support group for this? probably not, it would involve people I won't want to be around.

i'm selective of the people i'm surrounded by that i interact with... but daily... i walk anonymously past thousands of people... and I like it that way

Wow, I couldn't have said it better myself. I hate how being rude is fucking cool today. A very large majority of the people I go to school with at college are rude as fuck, and they believe they are socially superior because of it. It really, really makes me mad.

-Lasereth

Re: Help me like people more
 

You seemed to sum up my feelings. I don't have a girlie at the moment, but that's by choice. The difference with me is I'm happy with the way I am. I like my friends and I don't need any more. I help people out who deserve it and that's just the way things are.

I dont think that there is really a way to like people in general. Its a bell curve... a couple of winners - WHOLE lot of losers.

This has already been said but bears repeating - surround yourself with good people. Forums like this are usually a good place for such, any forum where the average age of members is above 25 and where the english language is use (not th0s3 other v4r14t10ns that no one can read...) is a good bet. Friends, (sometimes) family, surround yourself with good people, and everyone else will worry you less.

Basically - its ok not to like 'people', in fact, no one really does.

Ask rather, "Do most people like _you_?" Probably not. So why should you expect yourself to like most people? It's all about personal taste.

*disclaimer: I'm a bit inebriated at the moment.

Stupid commie. I don't like you either. "Waaahh! capitalism! profit! corporate corporate-ness! people working to be successful! progress!!". Moron.

Anyway, I feel the same way. I don't like people either. 99% of everyone I encounter is annoying, stupid, a liar, does not act in a consistent manner, or a combination thereof. By now, I consider pretty much anyone I meet a worthless dumbfuck until they prove otherwise. yeah it would be nicer to do the reverse and think of everyone as a wonderful person until they show that they aren't, but I've met too many idiots for that to work out.

I have one close friend who I genuinely care about & respect, 2 more good friends, about 10 friends & family who I am close with, ~10 people I can tolerate, and that's pretty much it.

My experience so far in life is that you find what you are looking for.

If you are looking for the bad in people, you find it.

Conversely, if you are looking for the good in people, you find it.

So, in other words, you decide yourself whether your time on earth will be heaven or hell.

For the most part i like everyone and do the whole treat as you'd like to be treated deal. Although you sometimes get fucked around a bit with this way, but i guess it's my nature so i am not gonna try to consciously change it.

lurkette pretty much has it covered, compassion and empathy.

I can't make myself LIKE people I don't know, but I can cultivate a mindset where they're at least INTERESTING.

They're almost the same thing in practice. Try to notice what makes any given person different from the rest, and it'll be a little easier to like them. Even if you never meet them again, walking down busy streets is a lot more fun when you're paying attention to the people around you. Makes crossing campus a little easier for me, anyhow.

I don't like people much either on the whole, but I don't really want to. I try to surround myself with people that I do like and just ignore everyone else.

Oh believe me I have looked for good people but they are very rare. Those who I have found are my friends.

if you want to like people more, stop thinking about them in general terms. I don't like people in general, but on an individual basis they aren't so bad.

get over your stereotypes of society and try to concentrate on a smaller demographic. jesus can't save everyone ;P

Sometimes it's hard to find the person through all the cynicism and contempt. Sometimes it's hard to be a public person especially when you run into asshole after asshole during the course of the day.

Then I remember "Hey, sometimes I'm not Mr. Fantastico either..."

I can't think of anything better than that to say....that sums it up perfectly....:)

It's a personality trait, Pimp. I know exactly what you're talking about. You just have to keep close those decent human beings and distance yourself from the stupid.

It's usually human stupidity that bothers me. But then I go and do something stupid and become the supreme hypocrite.

I used to hate everyone, also. Only recently have I gotten over myself and realized that I'm no better. People are all different, and just because I think someone's stupid or worthless doesn't mean they actually are. I'm no one special. But I try to be.

What is wrong with liking just a few people? Isn't quality relationships better than numerous relationships? As long as you are treating the "general public" with respect, don't worry about liking everyone.

you have to be accepting and understand that there will be people you wont like but just move on and forget about them and look forward to the next person you will meet