If you could have any kind of funeral you wanted, then what would it be like???
 

Different Spin.

I wouldn't want everyone to be sad so there would a big sledding party in my honor (if everything goes according to plan and I pass on in the winter). There should be some type of winter clothing with my picture on it that everyone could ware. Hotdogs would also be served.

Mine would be in the summer, outside if possable. Songs that would play: Talk Show Host by Radiohead, Angel by Massive Attack, Blue Movie by Snecker Pimps, and Everything In It's Right Place by Radiohead. Followed by a party with free wine and cigarettes

I don't see the point of them, so I don't really want one. I won't be there, so my family can do whatever the hell they want..
I don't understand when people say "I want that and that...", you'll be dead, you won't be there. *shrug*

I thought Payne Stewart's memorial service back in '99 was very memorable: The mist, the bagpiper playing amazing grace... Something like that appeals to my sense of the aesthetic, but as the fellow mentioned above, I don't think I'll be in a position to care very much.

I don't want a church funeral. My wife knows this so, it should be a gravesite service. I want the following music played, "I'll See You On The Other Side," by Ozzy; "Dreams," by VanHalen and "Amazing Grace" After that, let the drinking and partying begin. I'll be there, just not physically.

don't care... people can't just sit around and cry... should be a big party... because I'm finally finished.

As Bob Hope once said, "Oh - I don't know - surprise me."

A really big party with a really big.....bonfire.

I want a viking funeral. No, seriously I told my wife to take the 10-15 thousand dollars she would spend on a funeral and have some fun, donate my body to science and have some students come pick up the body.

The funeral business is one of the biggest scams around.

Oh, if reality were no constraint, I would want to be flash frozen and put in a capsule and be shot into deep space.

Just think about the possibilities. For one thing, you would truly go where no man had gone before, aliens could find you and you would be a huge scientific find for them, or maybe you would be found by humans in the far future and studied or revived, a la 3001, The Final Odysee.

I want to be cremated. I'd like to have a party instead of anything sad. I haven't given a lot of thought to anything beyond that. I think it's too depressing.

You all have to get drunk as fuck and listen to good music.

None of this weepy shit... I want drunken fights, drunken sex...

I want an all out party.

"You've made me so very happy"

By Blood Sweat and Tears....

Played at my Wedding and want it played at my funeral.

Then after after spreading my ashes at the top of Arapahoe Basin...

Chinese Downhill....ala Hot Dog the movie.

Winner gets to decide where the rest of the festivities will be. Most likely slope side, as A-Basin has a kick ass slope side party every single day.

Man I hope I die in late winter/early spring.

-bear

very simple - use a simple but decent looking wooden box straight from the 19th century and feel free to skip the bullshit "what a good friend/father/etc" session.
No point in spending 10k or more on a box that is just a fancy wrapper for bugfood anyway. Spend some of the money on a live cheap dixie band and make it a celebration of a life well lived without too many tears or morbid reflecting.

Songs that would be played
"Blackbird" and "The Long and Winding Road" both by The Beatles
"Good Riddance" by Green Day
It would just be a gathering of my closest family and friends. I don't want a big fuss made about me.

Cremation – thrown in the Pacific Ocean (preferably in Hawaii). Have a celebration of my life, rather than a morning of my death.

I would have the preist give a long dull drawn-out eulogy that is at least 2 hours long.

Why would I do this? Because I'm dead. I won't have to listen to it. :lol:

Finnegan's Wake. Naturally, I'd *like* to get up and bitch everyone out for thinking I'm dead, but if I'm really dead, I still want Finnegan's Wake scenario at my funeral. Or wake. Or both. Maybe both... definitely both.

I want something creative, and so sick that people who don't understand my sense of humor will be horrified.

A friend of mine died suddenly. His house was paid off and his wife didn't want to live their anymore. His insurance ensured she would be able to buy another house free and clear. So, in a nutshell, she didn't care about the condition of the house nor contents. Soooo....

She invited everyone he knew over and told them to invite other people who they felt should go. It was a huge party at a farm house. It was great, and out of respect (I assume) no one destroyed anything which is a shock considering there was easily 150 people. He would have loved it.

Man, makes me misty just thinking about it, but that's how I want mine to go.

Oh ya, and I want burial at sea.

new orlens funeral procession with the band playing saints go marchin in would be neat.

"And the other thing i'm gonna do at my funeral is that I'm gonna have a closed casket, and it's closed, so everybody will think i'm in there, but it won't be my body will come down onwires! It will just come down, just hang down, and then they'll hit the lights out, hit it with strobes light, and then techno music."

Nick Swardson, hilarious stand-up, doing his bit about his funeral.

Never thought about it. I guess I would want people to sit around and laugh at the memories of me being silly. My parents used to tease me about being like Mallory on Family Ties.

LOL!!! GREAT!

I would have a funeral service like they do in Star Trek...where at the end they would launch my body in a torpedo case into space.

Cremation---remember as I was when you loved me best,
not as I am now...

question before I answer....do people still do wakes with the body at home? I remember that a lot from when I was a kid.

I want one of those dracula shaped coffins lined in a green silk like fabric and I want to be buried wearing dark green flannel jammies and my penguin house shoes, no jewelry and my hair in french braid (god I've put too much though into this hehe) and all the pall bearers have to be in battle kilts

At my service I want Fly to the Angels by Slaughter and Cry No More by Arcade played...at the cemetary I want pipers playing Amazing Grace as I'm carried to the graveside.

Afterwards I want all my friends to have a keg party and to have just one person get drunk enuff to forget and holler out "Faye, take a picture of me!!" (that makes more sense if you know that in my circles I'm known as the person who records all the stupid shit on camera)



whew I dont want much do I?

This makes me think of that commercial, someone in a hurse while another one bites the dust plays on the radio. lol. I'd want that played at my funeral.

None. I don't think I really want a funeral.

I don't want one. But I do want a wake. I want my friends to get together, eat pizza and get drunk and talk about how wonderful I was. Oh, and to eat donuts. :p

All you can eat buffet; Neverending beer keg

and big freakin' round table so they can all sit around and laugh at all the stupid shit I've done and call me names. :)

The concept of me in a church - for my own funeral, of all things - is quite ludicrous! They would probably have to re-bless the place after it was over.....

Nope! I want to be cremated, or else let my loved ones donate my body to science-fiction (thank you Rodney Dangerfield for giving me the idea....). I'm not one for a funeral service, and especially not one where organized religion (aka "The Mafia" nowadays) is involved.

Here's what I think should be done: Make 3 to 4 thousand Jello-shots, get about 50 bottles of Jagermeister, and proceed to get well and truly blitzed. Once that's done, tell every sordid tale about me that's ever been heard (true or not, I won't care.....Really!) and then drink some more.

And raffle off my urn with the ashes. Make it a door-prize or something.

i want to be cremated and the service to be everyone that cares, friends, family, etc, to tell stories about me (similar to most services) but i don't want a full church service just a simple blessing

i want my ashes to be distributed to many diff friends and family members in small vials they can carry and leave a little bit of me all over as they have fun experiences so part of me can be there too
there are a couple places that i def want to be, and no one will notice just a little dust and pieces of me in the great baseball and football stadiums throughout the country

When I buried my Dad I found out just how expensive bloody funerals can be...

I don't want anything in a funeral home... no casket... nothing. I'm dead so what's the point.

As a memorial I would just like a big party. The kind of party I always want to attend but never seem to find the time to attend anymore... Booze, sex, mighty yawps all around...

If I could determine what would happen after my death, I wouldn't have a funeral. I would get cremated and thrown away.

Lively.
Bright colors. Everyone should be wearing bright colors. Screw the this black crap. I thought I should be celebrating one's life, not mourning that they are gone. I want the same. Have some good upbeat music playing, maybe even pizza ;) As for me, I'd like to be wearing a blindingly bright colored Suit.. like Neon Green. They'd open the casket (if i'm not creamated) to look at me, and at that point the casket light (which was replaced with a super bright halogen :D) shines down on my suit, which in turn blinds them.. :) That'd be a lot easier than trying to spring load my back with the coffin every time someone opened it up :D

I would just like there to be a lot of people there.
To show that I had made a difference in many lives

All I want is everyone who cares about me to gather in a bar somewhere, raise their glasses, and say, "Here's to Sabrina. She lived a good life." I don't give a rat's ass what they do with my body--cremate it, bury it, donate it so science, whatever. Just *don't* sit in a room with it and comment on how "natural" it looks.

I asked a friend to play Eric Burton and the Animals, "We Got Get Out Of This Place" at a catered party for me. Oh, and to be spring loaded so I can sit up half through the service, plus place a Pepsi in my hand.

i kind of liked Diana´s funeral.
guess that could be a wee bit expensive for my family, what with having to pay for the millions of people turning out to line the route taken by my funeral procession.


no, seriously, i´d want everyone to have a picnic at some lovely spot. perhaps even the Govenors lawn on Norfolk Island.
the champagne would be flowing and the seafood would be fresh. everyone would be wearing lovely, light summery outfits. there´d be tears, and laughter. all of my good friends would be there. they´d all say a little something, be it a poem, a song, a memory or a wish. there´d be a great little jazz band, playing sweet, light classics, such as cheek to cheek. everyone would dance, smile and cry tears of love and of sadness.

then, later, i´d have my ashes sprinkled in the snowy mountains (southern NSW). in a special spot. a few days hike in. a place where friends and family could come and visit when they hiked through.

thats what i´d want.

I don't want a funeral. A waste of time, effort and money. I'm dead - burn the body and move on, thank you, have a good day. I don't want people standing up and trying hard to say something good about me. I don't want people to talk about me in past tense. Once I'm dead, that's the end of my story.

I desperately want to be made into one of those LifeGems when I die. Then I want to have a large party where everyone gets at least one glass of Thraequila, and one of the revellers drinks me. They won't know which glass I'm in: I'll have been placed in the bottle of tequila prior to mixing, and the hired third-party bartender will have mixed up all the cups. Eventually, somebody will take a swig and go, "Oi, I think I just swallowed Thrae." If I'm too large to have that done (ie, I show in the bottom of the cup), then I'll simply have myself cut into smaller pieces that hide a little more easily. That way, five or six people can drink me. :D

I want to be cremated and have my ashes used by some company like the franklin mint to make collector plates with my likeness on them. It would be the ultimate limited edition.

I want booze, A fight or two and nekkid people! Someone better be getting drunk and laid at my wake or the haunting will begin.

Put me in the ground and leave me alone.. This is supposed to be rest. Take the insurance money and make certain that my children get well cared for and well educated. Forget the shell that is my body, and remember the things I have done.

no funeral.

sus and mimi know putting me in a trash bag and out with the garbage is fine with me.

no ceremony. forget me.

Irish wake, i want everyone to get fucking pissed and act crazy and have fun and celebrate the fact that i lived, not mourn my absence.

I would rather not have a funeral, but instead cut up into pieces and fed to siberian tigers.

If they went behind my back and had one for me, I would raise back up from the dead and kill everybody there who cried or who wasn't drunk. And if he is still alive when I pass on, I want Gilbert Gottfried to give my eulogy.

I want people to be told that Im dead, then to be incinerated and spread out somewhere.

If someone else wants to hold a funeral or a party for me, let them.

I'm not a big fan of funerals. I think I'd just like family and a few really close friends to have a little get together. I'm still debating on whether I want to be cremated or burried. My mother always said "the land is for the living, not for the dead". If I was burried I wouldn't want it to be in a cemetary. It would have to be somewhere in the mountains under a cool tree with maybe a rock as a headstone or just plant some wild flowers on top of me. Also, if I was burried I woudn't want a big elaborate cascate... just a nice wooden box would work. Basically, I want little to no money spent on it, I don't want it to be a big who-ha, and I don't want people to sit around and be sad or sulk about me dying...it's all just part of the process.

Black, shiny coffin, with Hotrod flames, and chrome sidepipes... Highspeed funeral procession. We're talking hayabusa outriders, to clear intersections, highspeed, pro-driver piloted, hearse(sp?), you get the idea.... And then a really big party after...where everybody has to hand over the keys at the door :)

I want my funeral to be like a bachelor party. Lots of people, lots of alcohol, good music and strippers rubbing titties on my coffin.

i want to be blown up with a ton of dynamite like a beached whale...

or maybe just cremated and have the ashes kept in a pepper shaker in a random restaurant somewhere.

Viking burial. Undoubtedly.

I've just been to a funeral for a family member recently. I was amazed at how quiet everything was.

I could care less what happens to my body after I die. I hope I've used it so much its completely worn out.

I just don't want any money spent on it. Do whatever needs to be done to dispose of it and move on with your life.

Assuming that I am buried, and not cremated, I absolutely, positively do NOT want a flat headstone. I don't care for the way cemetaries tend to just mow right over the top of them. It seems a little disrespectful, somehow. I was a pain in the ass alive, and I'll be a pain in the ass dead. Someone, somewhere is going to have to mow around me for the rest of eternity.

when it happens take my body off somewhere and just dump me in the woods or something. Let the animals eat me. Then I want everyone to fucking rage for as long as possible. I dont care if the people knew me or not. The most important thing I can see comming from my death is for as many people as possible to make memories. Not necessairly about me but I want for people to be talking about the party that followed my death for a long time.

This is really fascinating. I am most interested in those people who have already chosen the music. This is somthing I ponder occasionally, so the fact that you have already decided is neat. I personally still have not decided what the music should be, so I guess I should drive carefully until I do. Otherwise, cremation. I was raised Catholic, tho am not really thinking that way now. I saw too many open casket funerals as a child and just think its so odd. I mean, gee, these people are cold and gray; that's not how I remember them. Anyway, Big party, lots of music (all my favorites) and my immediate family is to spread my ashes on the Washington state coast and the Maui coast. That way they get a vacation out of it.

Another thing, while we're on this morbid subject- whats with those people who take out a plan on paying off their burial plot? I knew someone who did that, like the whole funeral, stone and six-by-2 section of land was theirs when they kicked of, for a monthly payment.

Bizarro! I can understand having insurance etc so your family isnt left destitute when you kick off, but isnt that a bit sick?

Or is it just me?

I want to be turned into a LifeGem as well, and passed on through the family for generations.

"Lila, you're 16 now, it's your turn to wear GreatGrandma Emily. Take good care of her, and don't wear her in the shower."

But, I still want a grave and a coffin. Only, I want it to be motion sensored so that when people walk by, a fake zombie pops up out of the grave where I am supposed to be.

I'd like to be dumped on the side of the road, in a burlap bag.

I'd like to be exploded at my funeral and sprayed upon my unsuspecting mourners. That way they'll never forget me.

ooh I think that's how I want to go out too instead... :p

I can't believe nobody has mentioned this yet?!
Huge orgy!

mariah carey music
a BIG LAN party
every1 confessing how they may have betrayed me and the tape being mail to me in heaven or hell

I want a big party... celebration of my life type of thing...

then (here's the wishful thinking part) ... I want to be sealed up in an airtight container and shot into orbit.. :)

tie me to a wooden platform, set it on fire, and push it out to sea

In my sculpture class, we had to build our own tombs, and mine was a full size old school wooden box...except it was gloss black with three color fade hotrod flames, a satin interior, murals of crosses, satan, and a winged heart, and black netting. I wouldn't mind having a professionally built version of that.

As for the party (and it will be a party), I'd like my funeral to be my last work of art. Just some crazy, memorable piece of performance art, preferably ending with me or my tomb permanently on display, rotating between the Metropolitan Museum of Art, The Louvre, and John Stamos's house (just because).

I agree, but would like a closed coffin while my body is given to help young medical students become doctors after any of my organs that are useful have been harvested.

I am totally finding it hilarious to think of this rotting corpse, haning from the ceiling. i am terrible, but i gues the guy who thought it up is worse.

as for my own, i don't know. i'd like really good music, but i love so much music i can't really decide. i would like to think that i would do something really cool but seriously i am boring and my family wouldn't be original enough. one thing i like about where i live is that when the funeral procession drives anywhere in our province all traffic pulls over for them and is very respectful of the fact that your family is sad. it meant a lot to me when driving in a funeral procession with my aunt.

Nick Swardson has shaped most of my own ideas on what a funeral should be (for example, involving John Stamos in any way).

If only the things he suggests wouldn't scar the entire family. The idea of paying Uncle Jesse to just come, cry, and leave is a great one, though...just leave everyone wondering.

No trolling here, just something that struck me. If you did that, from a Christian perspective, wouldn't your soul get kind of "lost"? If your body was revived by Aliens a millenium later, would your consciousness continue without a soul? Or would your soul get "hijacked" from heaven, zipping back into your body?

I just thought about it when I read your post, and it strikes me as a bit freaky, at least in my dead-end mind. Knowing myself, I'll be thinking about this for a while.

My personal choice of funeral:
A field on a rainy day. A band is playing Pantera's "Walk", with a philharmonic orcestra. 40 exotic-looking dominatrixes are showing everybody to their seats. Friends and family watching, as my freeze-dried corpse, standing in a hot-air balloon basket, is smiling at them. The bomb technicians have finished rigging my corpse with 80 kgs of C4, one kilo for each year of my life. As the hot-air balloon with my explosive corpse sails higher up into the sky, the band stops playing. 10 kids from a local elementary school steps forward with saxophones, and starts to play "Little Spanish Flea", while lion-dancers and line-dancers clash in front of the seats.

When the balloon reaches 6000 feet, the crowd yells "GOODBYE YOU BASTARD" and throw their hats in the air. The explosives go off, sending my corpse in all directions.

Either entombed in a pyramid or jettisoned into outer space.

I simply want to be creamated. While Amazing Grace plays I want to be scattered into the Pacific.

my funeral would be at a six flags or something i would like to be cremated and have my ashes thrown by one of my loved ones as they enjoy them selves on a roller coaster or something

I want to be creamated, brought to the top of Half Dome in Yosemite, and scattered to the wind. That way, when anyone wants to visit me (as seems to be wont in the family I come from), they have to go to Yosemite. So beautiful.
Then I want everyone to go get pissed and party their asses off.

Two words : Astro Jump :D

I mean, really, who can be sad when you bouncing around on a big jumping cushion of air? I just dont think its possible NOT to enjoy yourself, no matter what has happened to me.

... ummm... donate my body to Necrophiliacs Anonymous?

*wicked, maniacal laugh... as I take a number to be first in line...*

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN ABOUT! :thumbsup:

It's kind of funny 'cause I just got home from a funeral and was going to post a thread about it. I don't want a funeral but I know my survivors will do what ever they want. I personally believe we should celabrate the life of the deceased and not mourn their death. There is, of course, sadness in the loss of a loved one but remembering the good things certainly makes the passing easier to take.
I want to be cremated in a private cerimony without all the fuss, no viewing, no service, no graveside prayers etc... all that does is prolong the grief. Take the money used for the service and have a vacation on my behalf.

I'm really liking the cremated and shot into space idea.
It's nice to think my loved ones could look up at the stars and think of me, from time to time.
However, I think I'd just be happy knowing some people showed up for my funeral, if that's possible.

well all the songs would be smashing pumpkin songs.
i'd have a live person play meloncholy and the infinite sadness while people were coming in.
then they'd play tonight tonight in the intermission. is there such an intermission? i don't know. it'd go during the middle anyways :P

i wouldn't want people to wear black. i'd want them to be happy and trashed afterwards. thanks.

edit: and i'd rather be cremated. who wants to waste space on my bones?

I really don't think about my funeral, but my mom wants an open casket event in a cathedral (even though she isn't religious). And she's very opposed to cremation.

For me personnaly. I want to be Mummified. This is a exspensive process but as soon as i make a decent living i am goign to start putting away for mummification. And have my own temple made.

On this day i would want everyone to celebrate my life. There is no way to predict what time of year this will happen but whatever the season make it the best.

After celebrating my life. Its time to celebrate my death. Passing on to another life.

Anyways.. Die well ;>