ASU2003

I've thought about making this post for a few months now... I've finally got around to it.

After listening to some Jimmy Buffett , I have realized that my families and societies push for me to make more money above all else, isn't really where my priorities should be. I have worked more hours of overtime, than hours I have spent with friends or at the beach. Yes, I have had a job for the past 7 years, and have been lucky that it has been very good with few negatives compared to any other job I could expect to get now. I have been responsible with money and could probably 'retire (home paid off and self sufficient)' in 4 years if I got my yearly expenses down far enough and could find a different job that isn't about the money and hours or start my own business. An extra $10,000 here or $20,000 there isn't going to drastically change my lifestyle anymore. Unless I could travel in time and give it to myself in high school when I could have used it.

I've had this current plan to get to this place in my life since I was 15 or so, and in the past 15 years, I have been successful in the money, house, job priorities that I have set out to achive. Yet, relationships, friendships, and fun have been minimal. I never had a plan for them and thought that they just happened. Even personal happiness hasn't been a high priority. And spending time with family just happens a few times a year now as well. I keep asking myself, "what is the meaning of life?" and what should I do to improve it?

I have found some things that make me unhappy, so I want to try and avoid alarm clocks, cold temperatures, and angry mean people in my future plans. One of my ideas is to become a snowbird (old people who migrate south for the winter), yet I'm about 40 years younger than the average one. I have been living in a snowbird city since early January and have loved missing the snowstorms in Ohio. It is a nice lifestyle, yet there isn't a large population of 20 and 30-somethings to hang out with. I'm not sure why more companies don't have winter offices down in the deep south. Baseball is the only group that I know of.

But, I don't know what I should do in the next 5 -10 years. Do I play it safe and do what I have been doing, yet I doubt much with change with my social life? Do I take some time off and do some big trips like bicycling across Europe for a few months (although it would be better to find someone to go with first), going to dance clubs and beaches? Do I build a sailboat/catamaran and sail north in the summer and south in the winter? I would be able to hit lots of beaches then... but would still have the problem of not staying in one spot and it wouldn't be a long-term solution, it would be a fun two or three year experience though. The one option that is acceptable and respected by society would being a disaster relief worker. I think it would be a fun challenging job, and I like helping other people and being productive. Or I can work for myself and try and develop a product that other people would want to buy, and would improve their lives, and if I were successful, I would be able to migrate south for the winter and north in the summer, go on vacations and work hard an d play hard, without risk of financial collapse.. Although I'm not sure if it would improve the situation with hanging out with friends and lack of relationships...

Have any of you ever drastically changed your life to make it more enjoyable? What do you think my goals in life should be in the next 70 years? Are there simple things that I could do to improve things (watch less TV and spend more time with other people would probably be #1, but I'm not sure what that would be doing)?

cadre

I was unhappy working in business so I made a change and now I'm back in school for public health and nutrition.

If I was in your position I would start working less, maybe part time, so I could spend time doing other things. I would do search and rescue (volunteer). Mostly, I would spend more time with friends and family, and I would make time for exploring the world.

Of course, I have to give you props for getting to where you are. That was my plan but it hasn't worked out so well yet.

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My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

Willravel

These are some big questions, ASU. Right out of school I started working for an online business and did quite well for myself. I attribute luck for my finding such a position with so little experience, but I was making a wage I'd not planned on making until I was in my late 20s or early 30s at best. I was very happy with the financial security, but the job itself was demanding. Beyond fulfilling my responsibilities, I found that some of the people I worked for and with were not... I don't want to say not 'good', because what's good? Some of them weren't particularly ethical, others were highly irresponsible, and some were spoiled by their success. I suppose it's the old adage that one rises to the level of one's incompetence. After a few years of working there and putting in place a decent savings, I decided enough was enough and sough work elsewhere. I took about a 27% pay cut after taxes, but I managed to find a more rewarding job as a sort of assistant or vice administrator of a non-profit organization. My life became more enjoyable. The job wasn't stress-free, of course, but it was a healthier kind of stress, working hard to make sure the organization continued to function to the benefit of both employees and the people we helped. That second job eventually ended due to budget cuts, but even as I left I felt that through my efforts I contributed something of worth to the world.

Since then, I've started my own business and I've discovered a new level of fulfillment. It's crazy stressful, but like before it's a healthy kind of stress. I am, however, taking a massive gamble. People in 2011 aren't spending money in the same way they were in 2006, and one has to try and adapt to that. Moreover, people need more help now, so there's an additional flexibility that's required. I'm not saying you should start your own business, but I think it would behoove you to really explore what options are available to you. What do you love doing? What fulfills you? Can you find a vocation which will provide enough money for you to live but also make you happy?

Beyond that, it sounds like you've got some soul-searching to do. It's frighteningly easy for priorities to get all mucked up as you try to deal with what life throws at you. Over time, priorities that you understood to be important had to be pushed aside. Maybe now is the time for you to reconsider what's important to you. When you're on your death bed, what kind of life do you want to look back on?

Anyway, best of luck. You've got a lot of work ahead of you, but if you can persevere, there's a lot of joy ahead.

Plan9

I read the OP twice trying to avoid falling into the massive chasm of the question. Ooops. I'm currently in freefall like a confused cartoon character in a bottomless pit. I think you sound like another soul-searching Young White American that has more money than sense. But I'm an asshole that has spent most of his adult life suffering for money. Nobody can tell you what to do with your life. The prepackaged plans that your parents, friends, girlfriend, the media, etc. push on you are good but they're also not the end. My understanding of what you do with your youth is toil and suffer so that you can gradually become more comfortable as you age. By the time I'm dead, I'll be happy. We spend all our youth on education and preparation for life. We accumulate huge amounts of debt. Somebody clue me in how you have a real life and plan for the future. My life has been nothing but running and crawling to the next goal. I wish I didn't invest in relationships (they fail), I wish I could just take a year off and feel like I wasn't losing out on $100k.

Blegch.

/"on a long enough timeline we're all dead" talk

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

genuinegirly

You're a quiet guy, so I can see how it would be difficult to open up to people enough to call them good friends. Even so, you have made a few friends along the way, Tt and I enjoyed your company when we met up.

Most people think about starting a family when they get to your point. And yet, you have expressed no such thing. Nor have you expressed interest in a life partner, only friends. That lack of attachment leaves you with significantly more wiggle room, with many more options. I'm not sure what comes next, but your thoughts on humanitarian work could lead to an especially rewarding path. Good luck in your journey, I'm sure you'll do well.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

snowy

Have you thought about the Peace Corps? You'd get to travel to exotic locales and help people.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau