HFrankenstein

I was just about to start this thread in the Advice board, but then lo and behold, it became the Sexuality board. I trust all will forgive me for starting an advice thread here. At least it's related to Health.

Anyway, I'm a nonsmoker, and would never ever start smoking <i>ever</i>. I am, however, starting to date a girl who smokes. I usually don't date smokers, but sometimes you gotta make exceptions (if you saw her, you'd understand why I'm making an exception).

Naturally, I want to try and get her to quit. I already have a tactic of my own picked out that seems to be working (she at least doesn't smoke around me anymore), but just for curiosity's sake, I'd like to see what kinds of ideas you folks can come up with.

None of that "just tell her how you feel and mushy mushy mushy and feelings and emotions and in touch with your feminine side blah blah blah" crap, though. I'm talking subtlety here. Going right up to a smoker and telling them to quit usually just offends them anyway.

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bermuDa

start coughing after you kiss her.

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Stare At The Sun

tell her to smoke cloves, vanilla cloves dont smell bad at all, but they are fucking expensive.

mvassek

give her something else to suck on when she gets the urge to suck on a cigarette.

bing bing

Tell her that she's getting SMOKER teeth.

Konichiwaneko

tell her the truth.

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Sparhawk

I don't know what everyone else thought of when they read this, but I know what *I* did.

piglet

If she is a really addicted like my wife was, your in for a long hard road. If your tactic is its me or the cigs, no one likes an ultimatum. If she doesn't smoke around you it just means she smokes more when she is not with you. A friend of mines wife use to smoke half a pack on her way home from work because she couldn't smoke around him.If she is willing to try and quit get her to do this-

Stop cold turkey for three days- no cigs,drugs,sugar,caffine but take lots of vitamins c/ b complex/d

On fourth day have her sit in front of a mirror with a bright light shinning on her face, then she needs to chain smoke any nasty brand cig,not her own brand, not stopping, every breath taking a drag, usually will puke after the 2 or 3 cig, but don't stop until they do and feel like hell, the reason for the mirror is to see the physical effects of smoking on your body once you have detoxed from nicotine.

Hope this helps you, I know where you are at.

RemyLebeau97

Tell her smoking will cause her boobs to shrink, thats wut I told my girl, stopped her for atleast 3 days, lol. Good Luck.

nine

Get her drunk (ie, go out, have a nice meal, plenty of wine). Then when she lights up ask her to stop.

She'll probably say why.

Then you say because you'll die young and horribly.

She (being pissed) will say "So what - I'll enjoy it while it lasts"

Ask her to think about that - no, really think. Ask her to really think if smoking is worth having a shite quality of life during the last 5 years. Ask her what will happen after she dies. Ask her if she wants to see X-rays showing the cancer spreading - knowing that she's going to die.

Smoking is not like driving fast cars (where if something goes wrong you've only got seconds to worry about it). Dieing from smoking can take months if not years. Make her think what living her life will be like in those final months.

Ask her to think about this each time she lights up.

Er, job done.

BTW - I smoked, and I stopped. Be harsh - it's the only way. Only seems to work when pissed, being ineberated (sic?) seems to make the mind think deeper and longer and hopefully that's what sticks the next day.

Rodney

Smoking's not good, but if I started dating somebody and the first thing they started to do was get on my about my habits, I'd get ticked off. Why don't you hold off on the heavy stop-smoking campaign until you've been together a while and you know you're serious and she knows you know.

Her not smoking around you is just common courtesy, of course, and you're right to ask for that.

numist

How about this - my g/f was a cigaretter/weed and other casual drug user before we got together, I simply set a condition - if we are going to go out with each other, then drugs have to stop, because I dont want to lose my love any earlier than I have to.

vinnyferrozzo

Everytime she goes to light up, reach over and smack her in the back of the head. When she gives you that "what the hell are you doing" look just explain that it's for her own good to stop smoking and that if she tries to smoke anymore, she can expect plenty more where that came from

cheezhead

Let her keep smoking.She will quit when SHE is good and ready! I hate being told what to do.

BentNotTwisted

Don't get into the relationship expecting her to quit. You can't make someone else do something they really don't want to do. If you try to get her to quit you will only piss her off. You have to decide if her smoking is a relationship breaker or not. I suggest you be upfront with her now and tell her you want to get to know her better and that if things work out you will eventually expect her to quit for her health and yours. Have her put some thought into whether she will be able to quit. If she doesn't think she will ever give up the habit, then get out. If she says she will quit eventually tell her you will help her in any way you can, but make it clear, if the time comes and she can't quit, you won't stay and watch her trash her health.

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tv.

Buy her some nicotine patches or nicotine gum.

actinic

I agree with Ben. As an "X-smoker" of 3 months, I quit when I was ready to quit after 15 years of smoking that crap. She'll have to come to that decision herself whether to quit or not. You have to decide to accept the fact that she's a smoker or not.

Just be honest about your feelings about smoking and IMHO there no need for tactics. That'll bring resentment down the road. At least she stopped smoking around you. That's a few less cigs she's smoked in a day. One day she'll start thinking of quitting. If she's not then she's not. What can you do?

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collide

I've been in the same shoe. The fact that she doesn't smoke around you means that she's aware that you're put off by it, and she may even be aware that you're willing to make the relationship work with her, even though you normally wouldn't date smokers. There are more subtle things that you can do to encourage her to quit, like avoid kissing her or getting close to her after she's had a cigarette. I usually cough or complain when I pass by a cloud of smokers as we're walking down the street together (when he's not also smoking). He eventually quit for whatever reason, but I can't help but feel that I was a motivating component to that decision.

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HFrankenstein

Thanks for the replies, folks. Actually, I ended up breaking it off for an entirely different reason. Go fig. :P

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laserman

Tell her it will give her but hole lips when she's older.