DR_DEATH

What is it with everyone sueing each other over stupid little things?
Seriously, the human species is going downhill fast. All we can think about is money and will take any chance we can to get some, the more the better. Money has even greater pull than sex these days. Just the other day, some gimp successfully sued some poor guy, because he tripped on a garden hose in the guy's front yard and broke his wrist. The thing is, he wasnt even invited, he had just broken in and was making off with a computer. And yet he got a payout of 20,000 dollars. How fucked up is that? Nothing is free anymore, the emotions of care and compassion for the fellow human do not exist anymore, instead they have been replaced by thoughts like "how much can i screw this guy over for?" Best friends stab each other in the back for the price of a bottle of coke, lovers ditch each other because one has no money to lavish the other with gifts with. Now you tell me this - Just how screwed is this world going to get before we realise we are slowly killing each other? I, for one, am sick of it. Im sick of being screwed over, im sick of seeing this world and this society CRUMBLING before my very eyes. It is SAD. Why cant people just grow up?

-Anders

In my oppinion, lawsuits should be outlawed.
Sure, some people do have legitimate claims, but many many others have it the other way around suing over things that the insurance companys should handle if they were insured, if not - dont fucking trip over something while youre breaking in.

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hotdogg

In England if one files a lawsuit against someone and loses, they are responsible for the other persons legal defense, as well as thier own...This certainly stops a lot of the frivolouse suits that we have in this country...The other point is that for some reason so many people do not take resposibility for thier own actions, if we spill hot coffee on our laps we want to sue McDonalds...This is pure Bullshit, It makes lawyers happy and rich, then some asshole senator wants to pass a new law that will only allow coffee to be served at 120 degrees.

Derwood

Zero personal responsiblity + shady lawyers + dumbasfuck judges = Bad lawsuits.

Any judge worth his salt would toss all of these lawsuits out and laugh in their faces.

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Spinach_Indeed

Taken from www.SeanBaby.com :

Lawsuit: Man Loses Leg to Shark, Is Left With New Lust for Money

Reason for Lawsuit: Attached to delicious leg.

Seeking: Compensation for missing, delicious leg.

The sport of attacking humans is sweeping the shark nation, and the Bahamas is no exception. Outside a resort there, a vacationing man was swimming in the ocean when a shark decided he would be swimming... in terror. Using jaws refined by history to be the perfect leg removers, it ate most of one of his legs and swam back into mystery. But what was a nightmare for one leg soon became a nightmare for several other people's whole bodies' bank accounts. The half-eaten man started consulting with Johnny Cochran, the same lawyer who kept the blood-soaked OJ Simpson from going to jail for those two people he murdered. With Cochran's help, the vacationer decided that nature's savage fury was just its way of telling him that the nearby resort should give him lots and lots of free money.

First he complained that the two lifeguards didn't save his life fast enough, and lingered on the beach during the attack. This is a valid complaint, unless you know what a shark is. You can't fight a shark away from a chunk of human meat with a boogie board and a smile. This was indisputably proven by the two marine biologists, Dr. Shredded Beef and Captain Dumbest Man Alive.

I'm somewhat of an expert on lifeguarding. I've seen several commercials for Baywatch, and over a hundred Baywatch-like layouts in pornographic magazines. Not once have I heard of lifeguards being trained to fight sharks. Sending two unarmed lifeguards out against a three ton fish monster would be like your fries launching themselves at your face to save their cheeseburger friend. It would be like a fireman trying to headbutt out a man covered in napalm. Sure it's brave, but a brave napalm-covered shark-bite victim is scraped up with the exact same shovel as a pussy napalm-covered shark-bite victim. Honestly, once a shark decides to bite you and you're armed with a speedo, your only hope is peeing on yourself enough that you're not appetizing anymore.


Shark television shows didn't prepare him. Even though they're full of testimonials from mostly-eaten people and have actual footage of people getting torn apart, every shark show spends 80 percent of the time telling us how uncommon shark attacks are. Then they'll tell us how beautiful and endangered they are right before the show cuts back to a shot of their seventh layer of teeth gnawing through a camera man's arm. So you can see how they're sending a mixed message.

The litigant is also planning on suing the resort for not making it clear that sharks existed and contrary to what he'd read in Dumbfuck Monthly, actually live in the ocean. Like maybe there should have been a presentation in the hotel convention hall about what lives in the water and post signs indicating the chance that some of them want to eat you. And they might as well include a puppet show about putting on diapers and describing what types of sand isn't okay to jam in your ass, because they're clearly talking to people so stupid they'll lower the intelligence of any animal that devours them.

If resorts were really interested in safety, they would equip swimmers with costumes to disguise them as giant bottles of bleach, hypodermic needles, or anything else a shark might not want to eat. For budget resorts, maybe they could just provide t-shirts that say "I AM NOT A SEAL" in several dialects of shark. The resort in question provided none of these simple devices, and this negligence will probably cost them millions more in court. Maybe billions more if Johnny Cochran raises the issue that the resort did not even employ even one burrito-launching UFO to keep the nearby ocean's carnivores from ever getting hungry.

The wife of the man told one reporter, "We haven't decided how much we're suing for yet, because we haven't decided how distraught he'll be. Right now he's just happy to be alive." That's right. They're sitting around and waiting for him to get depressed before they decide how much free money they need to cheer him up. If Cochran was smart, he'd sit by his hospital bed and call him fat all day. You'll see him on the news saying, "I'm... *sniff*... seeking two million dollars for emotional damages. Wait. Johnny Cochran said my shirt looks gay. Six million. He also added that I'm a big dumbass. Twenty million. Further monetary calculations will be impossible since my left leg was where I usually kept my calculator."


Case Predictions:
Unless he can find the guy who invented sharks, he probably shouldn't get anything for a freak accident. And if somehow the resort is found responsible using the upside down dislogic of the antimatter universe of Kwaad, they shouldn't award him much more than the cost of a new prosthetic leg. That's about fifty to a few thousand dollars plus two or three more dollars for decorative prosthetic leg dinosaur stickers. He could go ahead and get a mutli-million dollar roboleg that shoots lasers and rockets if he can find one, but he better know that we'll expect him to fight crime with it.

The only people that really owe him anything are marine biologists. They're constantly spending money and losing parts of their bodies to learn little details about sharks. They'll send a team of highly paid scientists out to follow sharks with clipboards and mark down every time one farts. They'll go through an insanely dangerous procedure to trap a shark, cut it open with a box knife, and stuff it full of tracking devices to see exactly how depth and location affect the great prehistoric predator's farting. "My god. This data shows that farting increases inversely with depth. And preliminary tests show that when you're trying to cut open a shark to jam a tracking device in his bowels, he totally wants to kill you. And now I must depart! What science chooses to do with my discovery is up to them! Whoosh!"

This vacationer, using only his tasty flesh and no knowledge of marine biology, scientifically discovered one more thing you don't get back after you put it in a shark's mouth: human leg. Whether the lawsuit goes through or not, the research grants from this will have him laughing all the way to the one-legged bank. In the end, though; the only winner in this case is the shark's tummy.

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Sparhawk

I voted yes, not because "I love it!" but because being able to bring a suit is an important right if one has been wronged by another party.

Lawsuits have been here since the founding of our country, and will be around until we disappear.

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Cynthetiq

you could do like Vlad the impaler and invite all the lawyers to dinner... and then execute them.

it's not about anything than simply TAKING RESPONSIBILTY FOR ONES OWN ACTIONS.

that's it.. it's not about money... it's about it not being my fault.. and if they pay me money.. it can't have been my fault...

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Big Julie

Can we substitute 'Jury' for 'Judges' in your equation? Seems to me, all the outrageous, monstrous awards are delivered by jury verdict.
It's like a big, twisted lotto, anymore. A jury awards xmillion, hoping that when their turn comes, they will be awarded similar.

DEI37

While today's society sucks donkey cock, there is a time and a place for lawsuits. I'm not gonna write a novel here, but common sense tells you what should and shouldn't get taken to court. Some people are too stupid and greedy.

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TIO

Agreed, but there comes a point where it gets ridiculous. If I am a visitor in your house, and I get injured by the toilet, which you know tends to maul people unless you push the button just right, and if you made no effort to stop that from happening, then I think I am entitled to some compensation. But if I am robbing your house and I fall over your garden hose, surely you're not going to tell me that sueing you for my broken wrist is not frivolous!

isandro

I'm just glad that it hasn't gotten this far in quaint little Holland. There've been some mediocre attempts at it, but sofar judges have been reluctant to go into it.

Agreed, but as far as the lawsuit thing goes, that only happens in america.

You sure about that? I've heard of cases where people would just hang around a supermarket and a mall, waiting for someone to start mopping the floor and forget to put a chainlink fence with big 'DANGER WET FLOOR' signs on it, hoping to fake some hip-injury and cashing in for that so needed trip to the Bahamas.

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mtsgsd

Some disconnected observations:

A Chicago Tribune article from a few years back said that America used to be worse. 1 in every 4 people were involved in a lawsuit in the early 1900's.

We were told at a seminar last year that you have a legal resonsibility to make your property safe for anyone that enters it, legally or otherwise. If someone hurts themselves trespassing inspite of all fences, signs etc. it's still your fault!

A restaurant near us has just dropped their over-size margaritas from the menu in response to the recent flood of lawsuits directed at restaurants who didn't control their patron's drinking.

I knew a man 20 years ago who sued his employer for an on the job injury. He was so impressed at his success that he then proceeded to sue anyone for just about anything. He couldn't work anymore and this became his new hobby/source of income. He liked to brag about it. The bastard.

In Britain, a farmer who got fed up at the frequent robberies he suffered armed himself and killed a robber who had once again broken into his house (The robber had a very long rap sheet). He was sentenced to life in prison. He's up for parole and lawyers are arguing that the burglers of the world have a right to be protected from this man and therefore he should stay in jail.

The law is written by lawyers, for lawyers. What else needs to be explained?

gov135

Beat me to it. This is exactly why there are so many stupid lawsuits.

gonadman

Bingo! And as long as these lawyers are making tons of money off it, the law will be very slow to change.

What pisses me off is that these juries who award multi-million dollar verdicts don't realize that what goes around comes around. They will eventually pay for it themselves in the form of higher insurance premiums or higher product prices to pay for higher insurance premiums due to the excessive rewards.

And wait until they get critically injured and need a neurosugeon. Sorry, none are left anymore who can afford the malpractice premiums!!

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BigJayz

I voted yes that I love this fucked up society that we live in. Not because I could fake a fall on some independently wealthy guys Bel Air mansion and sue him and become independently wealthy myself, but because I have the choice and opportunity to file legitimate claims and suits against people that may have wronged me. Society is not to blame 100% although there are a lot of unscrupilous people out there that have contributed to the downfalls of our public justice system, but the attorneys, judges, and jurors that award these ludicrous claims bear much of the blame. I believe that common sense has been lost when a thief can get money for tripping and falling while exiting a victims house with stolen property. I mean if thats the way society is going to be, why should I work for a living? Why not become a pseudo thief (not really ever steal anything) and just trip and fall and sue? Or better yet... why don't I target big business and fall on their property while going for a job interview for a job I don't even want? Common sense says to me that there is a damn garden hose in the middle of the yard, go around it and don't drop the damn computer!

Finally I love my country, I love the fact that I have the opportunity to make choices and that I have the right to pursue justice. I just wish people would have more common sense. /rant

numist

if you hate society so much, consider this:

Im a college student in a single family home, so I only have one parent who has raised me and who is financially responsible for me, because my sister lives with her mother, who is responsible for her.

My father has just resigned a sales job due to nonpayment of salary for the entire year.
The owner of the company is refusing to pay what he owes.
Without this money, there is (mainly) no house (rent hasnt gotten much lower in California lately), and no college.

You tell me if we shouldnt be allowed to sue for not only what we are owed, but because what we are owed is our livelihood.

Judges have the ability to throw cases out of court, perhaps you should be directing your attention to the justices of the courts, rather than the ability to sue in and of itself.

wwcd101

We need tort reform. Period.

And who decided all the politicians should be lawyers???

Thanks for listening.

Mephisto2

Yes. Yes you have.

America is obsessed with litigation and the "get rich at the expense of someone else" attitude is celebrated.

What's worse, this trend is increasing in other countries.

Mr Mephisto

Hrothgar

It's a way to make an easy buck. Hire a lawyer get a settlement and hopefully never have to work again. It's fucking disgusting and lawyers are to blame. Why didn't the shark eat the lawyer? Professional courtesy.

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Jesus Pimp

That's awesome. They should implement that here in the states.

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curveedv8

Nope, unfortunately it's happening in Australia as well. one well publicised instance had a young hooligan (a descriptive term which is more appropriate than victim) broke into a pub at night. The publican whacked him over the head with a blunt object. The hooligan and his mum then sued the publican for hundred's of thousands of $'s due to the irreperable psychological damage done to the boy.

He should sue his mum for the obviousl damage she did him while growing up allowing him to think it's OK to break into people's places of business! My mum would have whacked me over the head and told me it served me right!

Oh, that's right, mum's aren't allowed to do that anymore either........

wlcm

i blame mostly on those damned lawyers that claim they won't charge you if you lose. then that gives every bottom class loser out there that has been wronged in the faintest way(sometimes not even) a risk-free chance to get some easy money.

Of course the money almost always gets deffered to the upper and middle class folk, who's insurance rates goes up though the roof amoungst other price increases.

And to think, while people are making frivolous lawsuits left and right, some dumbass texas rep wants to spend her time trying to get "black" names for hurricanes...

It definatly is America that is wrong, not really society. But of course, with time, America assimilates all and then in a few decades, it truely will be all of society that has gone down the drain.

gonadman

The system of civil compensation is just and fair, it just needs more checks and balances. Remove the lottery mentality by making claimants fiscally responsible for all costs- attorneys fees, time off from work, etc. when they lose a lawsuit. Also place a cap on pain and suffering type awards.

BTW, did ya hear about the psychic that sued the hospital because her brain MRI caused her to lose her psychic abilities?

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For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel, looking, looking, ...breathlessly.
-Carlos Castaneda

Splice

Spinach_Indeed:
That shark story was hilarious! Thanks for sharing. It is so amazing how often we try to deny self-responsibility and try to cah-in on someone else. Spill hot coffee on yourself, no problem, sue McDonald's. Get your leg bitten off by a shark, no problem, sue the resort and the lifeguards for being negligent. I have even heard of a case where a mayor sued his OWN town for tripping on a crack in the sidewalk in his OWN town! God bless America!

DeviouslySimple

A friend of the family was driving our van in a fairly deserted warehouse district of Queens, NYC on his way to The Home Depot. Past a green light he saw a van on his right side rip towards him and attempted to swerve to the left and accelerate past. It didn't quite work.

The other driver sped off after the collision. There wasn't enough time to grab a license plate number so practically no one to find out who the responsible party was. He went for a few back checkups and stopped working for several months as an independent contractor to get some rest.

Almost a year later, we get a summons to appear in court, having a suit of $5,000,000 filed against us as well as the friend for reckless driving, compensatory and aggravated personal damages, blah blah blah.

The trial was quite funny. (You have to keep in mind our family is immigrant Eastern European) Apparently the "poor trodden down Mexican" guy and his lawyer were trying to pull the race card, along with trying to justify how badly banged up he was due to "our" fault in the accident. Although he was working as a carpenter previously, it hurt him so badly that now he's doing electrician and plumbing jobs (all which require a large amount of lifting and range of motion). Witnesses testified towards our version of the facts.

Some people should be used to feed the zoo carnivores.