Shauk

taking her picture would mean interacting with her o.O

I'm trying to avoid this.

Jinn

I've got an AR you can have.. I never use the damn thing. It's not sighted in, and I can't hit shit even at 100 yards, so I'm not certain if you'll be able to. And yea, no rounds to give you, either. But you could strap it to the underside of your bed so that when she ties you to the bed and starts flogging you with a high heel tied to her belt and clawing your face with her fingernails while screaming YAAAAAA BABY and spinning her head around like the exorcist you only have to get one hand free to detach it from the underside of the bed frame and ask her if she feels lucky .. it's got all the tactical bullshit like a red dot and forward grip that turns into a bipod if you need to get really fancy or hit her in the back as she runs out..

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"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

Bill O'Rights

RUN!! Run as fast as you can. Do not pack anything. Do not take anything. It will only slow you down. Move to another city. Move to another state. Move to another country. Change your name. Change your appearance. Not that any of that will help you in the least should you succumb to your primal urges and bed the looney tune. She will own you. Years from now, after you have long since thought yourself safe, she will call you...just to "see how you're doing", and to "get back in touch". You, sir, are fucked. Consider this; she says that she is a virgin. Well, no matter how crazy she is, somebody thought; "So what? She's hot". So...she's either lying, or she is just SO batshit crazy that even the "fuck it and run" guys got scared off? Yeah...she's only hot because you're playing with fire.

Plan9! Yeah, those apple shaped ass prints are the absolute best, aren't they?

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

ZombieSquirrel

Not that I want Shauk to end up dead and stuffed in this girl's apartment, but damn I love this thread. I can't wait to read what happens next.

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Attack ZombieSquirrels

Plan9

Where's Bear Cub at? He'd could disrespect this woman into sanity... or marriage.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Jove

I think Shauk needs to make this into a science experiment and date the girl for a few weeks. Then he should post her behaviors and reactions during their encounters on this thread and everyone can make suggestions on her actual problems until we finally figure it out.

The only issue I see with this experiment is it might result in Shauk being injured, tortured or killed.

FuriousAvatar

Or Shauk being mentally scarred for life, on top of those other things.

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“Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.”
-Pope John XXIII

Shauk

See, I knew you guys cared about my sanity and well being over your own amusement.... well, some of you

dlish

you need to find that bird from the fast food joint from a few months back.

you need to find her, stalk her and tell her that you're a virgin. she cant say no to a good looking guy like you.

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An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Bill O'Rights

Some? I count three.
Two really, 'cause one's kinda iffy and could really go either way.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

Shauk

fast food girl? doesn't ring a bell. *shrug*

*moving forward*

The_Jazz

If Bill is counting himself in there, I'm calling "bullshit". Everyone knows that he's just waiting for you to move out so that he can get out of Omaha, squat in your apartment and hope that she takes as much a liking to him as she did you. You had him at "Alyson Hannigan".

Shauk, I'm really not that worried about you. From what I've seen, you're not one of those guys that's going to "slip and accidentially fall into her vagian, penis-first. Repeatedly." Stay out of her pants and all she's going to do is make your life interesting (and that's a neutral term - an apartment fire would be "interesting").

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

RogueGypsy

This thread kicks ass.

I keep waiting for 'so last night I get home and the door to my apartment is unlocked'. Waiting.....waiting...........waiting.

I was gonna tell you to stage a gay moment for her benefit......ya know, a hug that's a little too long or a kiss on the cheek with a male friend. But then I realized, crazy is crazy and if she's really into you, she's gonna try even harder to get you to switch teams.

I've always had a thing for the crazy ones, so speaking from experience I can tell you, ignoring them rarely works. If you're really nervous about this girl and her intentions, you're going to have to have a gentle conversation with her about 'NOT INTERESTED'. And end it with 'no time for new friends'. If you leave the 'friends' potential open, she will climb through that window every chance she gets. If you're too hard on her, it can get ugly.

The only proven method I know works, is distraction. Introduce her to 'that guy' whose always hanging around, that no one really likes. Come on, we all know one. 2 birds with one stone, so to speak.

While I have sympathy for anyone so distraught and lonely, sometime it's a matter of survival, hers or yours. Crazy always wins, they have no rules.

But in the mean time, keep us updated and keep a camera close. This thread needs more pictures.

__________________
Methods, application and intensity of application vary by the individual. All legal wavers must be signed before 'treatment' begins. Self 'Medicating' is not recommend. However, if necessary, it is best to have an 'assistant' or 'soft landing zone' nearby. Any and all legal issues resulting from improperly applied techniques should be forwarded to: Dewy, Cheatum & Howe, Intercourse, PA 17534. Attn: Anonymous.

Redlemon

Totally. It was in your blog, I'm pretty sure. Some girl hitting on you at an outdoor fast food stand, either hot dogs or ice cream.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Shauk

ohhh hot dog girl, yeah, honestly gave up on that notion. I was still hung up on the other girl at that point so *kicks self*

Bill O'Rights

Mine was the kinda iffy one.

I do beleive that I've been outed.
Curse you, Jazz! Curse you for putting paid to my nefarious scheme.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.