Least Favorite Medical Procedures
 

Have you undergone a nasty medical procedure? Perhaps you did something that was supposed to be fairly routine, but ended up going wrong. Surely there are some interesting medical stories from among the many personalities of the TFP.

My least-favorite was a throat-swelling, vomit-ridden abdominal CT scan. Apparently I had an allergic reaction to the contrast medium.

What's your least favorite medical procedure?

Colposcopy. Just.. ouchy.

Having a pilonidal cyst lanced. The PA used tape to spread my butt cheeks to get at the inflamed spot near my tailbone. It was not only unpleasant, but having your butt bared like that in a busy ER is kind of uncomfortable too.

Peritonsillar Abscess - stitches in my throat, no even remotely solid food for two weeks. I don't care how much you like pudding by day five you just stop eating.

On the plus side: liquid vicodin.

Stellate ganglion block. Used to control nerve pain in my right leg and foot. I had 11 of these. Most were alright but two went wrong somehow and the results were not good. After one I had more pain, a lot more pain and it affected my entire right side. After the other I had no feeling at all in my right leg for about a week then it felt like my right leg was on fire for about 3-4 weeks. When they work they're great, when they go bad they really go bad.

having your balls operated on. i wont disclose the diagnosis.

Stapedectomy recovery is rather difficult since it is a week of intense pressure on one side of the head (near the ear where the procedure was performed) along with 7 days of vertigo and loss of balance.

i can't stand anything with needles, or anything that uses jelly.

you know.. like fitting for a new brace or something.

i think my worst experience, had to be when i dislocated 1 of my testickles.

that really did hurt

I've been pretty fortunate, haven't required much in the way of medical treatment. However...

I had a hemorrhoid removal operation. I think they were blowing air up my ass in order to make room for the operating equipment or something. I think what made it worse was that I thought that the visit was just a consultation, I didn't realize that he'd be operating until he started.

The bier block they did on my entire right arm for a ganglion cyst removal pretty much sucked. The started at my fingers and wrapped my arm extremely tightly with an ace bandaged-type doohickey all the way to the shoulder to effectively force the blood out of the arm to do surgery on the wrist. Fluid was injected in the wrist area and then the cyst removed from inside my wrist joint. Then they let the blood flow back in. Right about the time I woke up. And as my arm woke up, the whole thing was screaming for the next 5 days. I still wonder to this day if the Zombie Arm is related. They don't do them anymore.
Come to think of it... I don't like any procedure in which they assure me I won't wake up during and then I do. Nothing like watching your wisdom teeth being extracted with a jackhammer and pliers while they keep telling you you're asleep. Not so much, no.

Root fucking Canal.

I haven't had a lot of medical procedures. The most significant would be my cesarean sections - recovery from those has been pretty cake for me. The only procedure I've found to be particularly loathsome is the insertion of an IV needle. It's kind of funny that I have had major abdominal surgery (even watched them in a mirror), but I can't watch a nurse insert that IV needle in my arm.

anything involving my prostate

Was young and "invincible" and decided to get all 4 wisdom teeth pulled at one time. Dentist sucked ass and nearly sewed my tongue to my mouth. The net result was a mouth so fully numb that actually swallowing was impossible. I was drowning on my own blood at home and was reduced to scooping the blood out with my finger.

Best I can offer was my Sleep Deprived EEG. Don't sleep all night, then come in let us attach a few hundred gooey electrodes all over your head then flash a few hundred different color lights in your face in random patterns and see how much we can make them seize for an hour.

An infected socket after wisdom tooth removal. A bubble of putrefying nastiness encased in freshly-grown gum tissue.

errr..i think you're going to have to disclose a bit more information here.


i know how people dislocate shoulders..but how do you dislocate a testicle?

/headscratch

Payment.

ouch... that guy was using an exercise bike and only hoped it would heal itself. it wasnt till 4 months later he went to see a docter!