Thank You Notes
 

So the wedding gifts are starting to come in, and so thank you cards must be started too, but I have a slight problem. Handwriting is not my strong suit. I have a cyst attached to the ulnar nerve of my left hand, and I am left-handed. My hand gets tired out very easily. Every etiquette site/book says that these thank you notes MUST be hand-written. This seems silly to me, and behind the times. My penmanship is not the greatest, and it gets worse the more I write. If I have to hand-write these things, they will be very short and sweet to conserve my hand.

What do you think? I'm prepared to hand-write these things if I have to, but I'd rather save my hand if I don't. Would you be offended if someone sent you a thank you card that had the personal message printed instead of hand-written? I'm certainly not suggesting that I am not going to write a personal message; I am merely suggesting that it will be typed instead of hand-written.

Grr, etiquette.

Someone would really care if the personalized note was typed vs handwritten?!
That sounds a little picky to me. I'd sign your and E's names and type the rest.
Pfft.

Yeah, the cutesy touch of actual handwriting wears off once you have to squint and turn the page to try to figure out entire phrases.

My handwriting is awful, I stick to typed-with-real-signature.

You wanna know why southern women don't get into orgies? 'Cause of all the thank you notes they have to send out afterwards ...

**badump bump**

/Genius IQ

The only thing I can say is, get one of your friends who has good handwriting and hadn't gotten you any presents then guilt them to writing the cards. You can make the cards and sign all of them just dictate the messages individually.

Or you can print. I wouldn't be offended.

Or you can just write them yourself. So you handwriting is bad ... so what? You put the effort into thanking the person for the gift. It's the thought that counts and besides, they're gonna throw it away anyway so I have no idea why your fretting over your penmanship.

Typewriter.

Funny seeing that IBM Selectrics are just falling from the sky, right?

Custom video thank-yous.

Handwritten notes for the luddites.

Yeah, but then I have to put on a shirt and pants.

I don't see anything wrong with typing/printing the thank you notes. Especially since you said you were going to type a personal message. You will save yourself a lot of aggravation, time and pain.

Type it. If it hurts, why would any of your guests want that?

Thank you notes are for girls. Men don't thank each other in writing unless said writing is on a check.

I'm southern, and the rest of you seem to think that "our" way of thinking is archaic. If I took the time to shop, select a gift and spend money on this gift and then received a computer printed thank you note in return I would be pissed. It's all about etiquette which still exists in some areas of society. I appreciate niceties.

printed stickers....

okay that's gauche. :P

if you can print the cards, that's great. Just make sure that it's a bit personal so that it doesn't look like you churned them out.

If you are married, then you must have a husband. Have him write the cards! You could dictate them as he writes them, if that would help.

My handwriting is as bad as it gets, the arthritis makes it worse, if Dave's handwriting were any better I'd have done what Redlemon suggested, but alas it isnt so I suffered thru both the shower and wedding gifts. I only did a few a day until they were all done, then mailed them all out at the same time. Trust me...there will be people that will say, until the day they die, " I sent her such a nice gift and she sent a printed card!!"

eh, maybe its just a southern thing. I can't say I'm any better than an old biddy lol I got a wedding invitation recently that had the registry information included and I about had a stroke lol

His handwriting is worse than mine.

My dad had a good suggestion: handwrite the cards for people who are expecting a handwritten card, and print off the rest.

And yes, Shani, for the gifts that are trickling in, I am planning on writing my thank yous as soon as possible to be able to space them out.

I guess a five-minute phone call would be outta the question.

I think all this formal cutesy shit is way too passive-aggressive.

Expectations and fakeness. When did gift-giving become a circle jerk?

I know most everyone is saying it's no big deal, but it still is correct etiquette to hand write them. I would say it's most important for folks of previous generations and those who really put in a lot of effort (long distance travelers, bridal party). If you print cards, expect someone to be offended by it - even if they're not the one who got the printed cards (weddings have a way of bringing out both the best and worst in a family).

I would say take the time to hand write them and only do a few per day; 2-3. Get that husband of yours to help, poor handwriting is better than printed.

As long as it is legible, I think it would still be OK. I don't think that even our Southern Etiquette masters would insist on calligraphy in a thank-you note. And I suspect people would appreciate the novelty of receiving a thank-you from the male half of the marriage. (Yes, I wrote many of the thank-yous from our wedding.)

Red wrote the thank you notes to his friends and family, and I wrote the thank you notes to my friends and family. His handwriting is crap, but it didn't matter. It's that personal touch.

Interesting......

Or... there's a third option!

Hand writing for Hire! I'm serious, haha.. I offered earlier when I thought I might be in the area to handwrite thank you notes, how do they know its not your handwriting?

Hit me up :D

Fourth option. Make a font of your handwriting! No one will ever know!

Hahaha, that would be so sneaky, Cyn!

And monkie, I will probably hit you up when the note-writing becomes a deluge. My bridal shower is tonight, so all the card writing is REALLY about to begin.

no really. it's not all that expensive.

Personal Signature Fonts & Handwriting fonts

Make Your Own Handwriting Fonts

Do many people recognize your handwriting? If not maybe you could get a friend or somebody to write them for you. Perhaps you go to a print shop or make some nice cards on your computer that you could send out, each one personalized. I agree that etiquette can be important but so is the thought you put into it maybe people will appreciate the effort in making the cards and they just wont care if its hand written or not.

Personally I wouldn't care one way or another, nor would I really expect a thank you card to begin with. Give somebody a gift and then expect something in return, how rude is that?

In England, we would generally print a letter, but hand write in the salutation and the signature, but the letter would be specific to the recipient.

We'd put registry info in with the invite too!

To be clear, proper etiquette would be to write a note for every present you've ever received, on every occasion. That is what the etiquette books have in them, at least. It's a very clear gesture, that requires actual effort on your part.

Now, I will be the first to admit that the rules of etiquette are mostly outdated and almost entirely arbitrary. Which, I think, is why there are so many "WTF" responses in this thread. Most of the time, you can ignore proper etiquette and nobody really cares. Weddings are a big exception to this rule.

People expect everything to be perfect, possibly related to the high emotions of this time. Any slight miscue can result in very hurt feelings, so I find it best to make sure you err on the side of caution. I seriously doubt many people would care about the notes not being hand written, but I can name at least 5 people in my family would care a great deal.

One vote for personalized font.
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4076/...05046ecd76.jpg
(It was a quick and dirty test when it was free to create fonts. Later, when I decided to create a better one - it was no longer free...)

To make everybody happy:
You write a few to the persons closest to you who would expect a handwritten card. He does the same. Then create a font and print the rest.
(Or hire amkonkey to write the cards while you phone them to please everyone;) )

Daniel....that is a HUGE no no Registry info only goes in the bridal shower invite

How does a single man know what the registry information is since he more than likely will not get invited to the bridal shower?

How does a person who lives across the continent/ocean get the information if they aren't invited to the bridal shower?

its done by word of mouth, or these days most couples have a wedding website set up somewhere and the information is on there.

besides most of the single guys I know just give cash so they dont have to shop lol

When Red's nephew got married last summer I called Red's mother to find out if and where they were registered. We attended the wedding, took a gift and have yet to receive any thank-you note at all. I can't bring it up because it's kind of a touchy subject.

If you're looking for an etiquette answer, there's no way around having them handwritten.
Even bad handwriting is better than having it printed - no matter how personal you make the message, it's still going to come off as detached and mechanical. As long as they can read "thank you" the rest is gravy. Have your husband write them, and both of you sign them.