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-   -   Things a man cannot or should not do (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-life/154729-things-man-cannot-should-not-do.html)

MSD 06-28-2010 05:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru (Post 2801931)
Actually, others use them as facial moisturizer.
And we have a winner.

Men should never hesitate to congratulate anyone for a particularly well spoken or well timed joke or retort.

Cimarron29414 06-29-2010 05:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MSD (Post 2802017)
And we have a winner.

Men should never hesitate to congratulate anyone for a particularly well spoken or well timed joke or retort.
That's bullshit! I spent like 147 seconds making my chromosome slide and I didn't get a word of credit. Jokes with props are worth more than prop-less jokes. <Goes to corner and pouts>

Bacchanal 06-30-2010 10:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cimarron29414 (Post 2802103)
Jokes with props are worth more than prop-less jokes. <Goes to corner and pouts>
Carrot Top?

Cimarron29414 06-30-2010 11:20 AM
I prefer Gallagher.

Meditrina 06-30-2010 11:41 AM
A man should not call a woman "crabby" (as in grumpy), even if he was joking.

Plan9 06-30-2010 11:42 AM
Hah! I do it all the time. I also use the dreaded phrase, "Hey, just relax."

...

Cimarron, didn't scientists recently have issues with "The Decline of the Y in the XY" or something? I read about in Time magazine or something.

thingstodo 07-05-2010 02:46 AM
How about this one I heard from years ago: men can't lean their head agaist a wall, pick up a chair and then stand up - but women can. Anyone remeber that one?

Jove 07-05-2010 07:20 AM
Jump in lava.

LordEden 07-05-2010 08:06 AM
^ Unless you have a power star.

*****

Piss sitting down, unless he is sitting down for a reason.

Baraka_Guru 07-05-2010 08:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LordEden (Post 2803410)
Piss sitting down, unless he is sitting down for a reason.
  • morning wood
  • post-coitus
  • not wearing your glasses

Leto 07-05-2010 09:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru (Post 2801931)
Actually, others use them as facial moisturizer.
that made me laugh. Thanks BG... (a dude secure in his manliness).

---------- Post added at 01:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:42 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel_ (Post 2795988)
....


I generally shave in the shower, so spend over five minutes there. I like long showers.
How do you do this without the mirror fogging up? After 30 odd years of shaving, I still can't figure out how to do it in the shower.


??

---------- Post added at 01:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:44 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stare At The Sun (Post 2801671)
Do you just try and troll as much as possible?


Can somebody explain the concept of trolling to me? Is it posting in a provokative manner?

Xerxys 07-05-2010 10:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LordEden (Post 2803410)
Piss sitting down, unless he is sitting down for a reason.
HA! You now have a girl living with you! You HAVE to piss sitting down. Eden, it does not matter who you are, she WILL domesticate you. It only takes time ... we all break at some point in time. You will begin sitting down while you go pee-pee, and yes, you will call it pee-pee.

Baraka_Guru 07-05-2010 10:47 AM

Pearl Trade 07-05-2010 11:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LordEden (Post 2803410)
Piss sitting down, unless he is sitting down for a reason.
Wasn't there a thread here on TFP just for this topic? More guys piss sitting down than you'd think.

Cernunnos 07-05-2010 10:49 PM
A man should not limit himself based on gender stereotypes.

Jove 07-06-2010 07:10 AM
Fight a gorilla.

snowy 07-06-2010 09:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xerxys (Post 2803435)
HA! You now have a girl living with you! You HAVE to piss sitting down. Eden, it does not matter who you are, she WILL domesticate you. It only takes time ... we all break at some point in time. You will begin sitting down while you go pee-pee, and yes, you will call it pee-pee.
My SO had the sitting-down-to-pee habit already when we met. He claims that while it is convenient to be able to stand and pee, why wouldn't you sit down to pee if you could? It's a nice rest, he says. I like it because he doesn't make a mess.

surferlove007 07-06-2010 09:39 PM
Men should not take their truck into the shop to get it worked on at 10:30am, when they promised their girlfriend to help move a couch from craigslist at 11:00am. Period.

Daniel_ 07-06-2010 10:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leto (Post 2803426)

How do you do this without the mirror fogging up? After 30 odd years of shaving, I still can't figure out how to do it in the shower.
I don't use a mirror!

After several decades of owning my face, I can shave it without looking. :D

Stare At The Sun 07-06-2010 10:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pearl Trade (Post 2803444)
Wasn't there a thread here on TFP just for this topic? More guys piss sitting down than you'd think.

I do.

I enjoy reading as much and as often as I can. I always have a book in the bathroom that I read only when I'm in there.

If I go in to piss, I'll sit down, crack open my book, read a page, and be done.

I've read a ton of books that way. Always have read whenever I'm on the toilet. Just seems like the best way to spend that otherwise pointless time.

Ratman 07-07-2010 03:27 AM
Just a quick swipe of your finger on the soap, then the mirror, no fog.

Jetée 07-07-2010 12:28 PM
I find this thread wildly entertaining.

Do I have something to contribute at the moment, though?

- "A man cannot produce chemically or commercially-viable natural oil from his person."
- "A man should not leave the oil in his car circulating unchecked for a period above
3.001 miles driven, assuming said man owns and cherishes a properly-working vehicle."

MSD 07-13-2010 04:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jetée (Post 2803867)
- "A man should not leave the oil in his car circulating unchecked for a period above
3.001 miles driven, assuming said man owns and cherishes a properly-working vehicle."
You should check it every other time you get gas, but I don't think anyone even makes cars with a 3000 mile oil interval anymore. Mine is 5000 miles, and BMW does 12000

uncle phil 07-13-2010 04:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe (Post 2795995)
Be raped by a woman?
been there, done that...

or, rather, had that done to me...

Xerxys 07-13-2010 05:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jetée (Post 2803867)
"A man cannot produce chemically or commercially-viable natural oil from his person."
Yes. But a woman can!


It puts the lotion on it's skin!! It puts the lotion on it's fucking skin!!


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