Surreptitious counseling for wife's lost libido
 

My wife has no libido whatsoever and even before that she wasn't very adventurous. Recently she has been considering hypnosis for weight control and I've been wondering: Does anyone know any way to have her sexuality… enhanced by a complicit councilor?

Ideally, a therapist of some sort would use weight-loss as a cover to unlock a hidden nympho.

You basically want to brainwash your wife under the guise of actual treatment?

Maybe you should hit up a counselor and see how they can subliminally suggest you into not being such a Passive-Aggressive Petey-Poo.

I've been in your shoes before, bro. It's awkward the first time, but it gets easier to tell them you wanna nipple clamp and candle wax 'em.

Skip the counseling and score yourself a weekends worth of rohypnol.

Did she have weight issues before you met as well? That could be hindering her sexual interest. If she doesn't feel hot, then she's not hot.

So, instead of talking to your wife you want to find an unethical counselor to trick her into wanting more sex?

I can see why this thread is anon.

This is one of the few times where I think Anonymous posting was the right choice. Otherwise, damn.

My respect for you is the airplane in the picture, whoever you are:

http://www.tellmewhereonearth.com/Im...lane_crash.jpg

Perhaps being helpful rather than just snarky is in order, though.

While I do recommend therapy, I don't recommend it for your wife. I'd suggest first talking to her, then couple's counselling.

Helpful?

Sure, let's break out the TFP Guidebook for Tilted Sexuality.

Ooookay, what do we have here. Ah-ha. Here we go.

Rule number 1
Talk to your wife

Rule number 2
When problems arise in a relationship, the first symptoms show up in the bedroom*

*Refer to rule number 1.

Rule number 3
If you're in a relationship with a person who exhibits Behavior A, think back to the time you two have met. Has that person always been exhibiting Behavior A?
If yes, they will remain at Behavior A, if not, refer to Rule Number 2

Rule number 4
If rules numbers 1, 2, and 3 are not applicable in your case for whatever reason, suggest (thereby referring to Rule Number 1) couple's counseling.

I think that about covers it.

You may not agree with the methods but I don't think any of the posts offered, snarky or not could be seen as unhelpful. I don't think the typical kid gloves treatment and common sense offerings are enough when the OP is asking for advice on the efficacy of hypnosis as an aid in raping his wife.

Well, really, that was a shitty choice for a plane crash picture.

...

I don't think the OPs goal is to rape his wife (although the post does give that extra creepy vibe), I think it might be to get her to initiate or enthusiastically participate in activities outside their normal routine of what might very well be lights-off missionary.

I can't say that I haven't had a few partners that I wished would have been spontaneously more adventurous in bed. Perhaps that is why I hit the silk after a period of failed attempts to sexually enlighten them to activities other than Plain Jane Amish reproductive moves.

As stated above, the "I don't feel attractive" thing is a big part of achieving crazy sex. If the OP's lady is overweight, unhappy, and uncomfortable with her body, she's not going to enjoy sex herself, let alone attempt to please her partner with whips and chains and knees-by-the-ears.

If the OP hasn't mentioned his lack of satisfaction with the sex, he's wrong. If he has and nothing has changed... well, we know how that goes.

Perfect LoganSnake. That was very entertaining! There's your answer Anon.

I find it a little disturbing to think Anon could be someone we know well...it just crossed my mind. I always think anonymous posters only go anonymous because they want to share things with a community where they are essentially not as anonymous as recent users.

So, whoever you are, you should know better than to want to trick your wife into being counselled for her lack of libido. At the same time, I am sorry you feel so desperate with the situation you feel your only option is to trick her.

I can only imagine there is a particular set of circumstances that firstly, stops you from finding a solution through talking (you've tried and it changed nothing, or she won't talk about it) and secondly stops you from leaving her (love, or duty, or both).

I may be giving you too much credit there, but it's possible to be an overall good person and still make a mistake like this. Good luck in finding a compromise with your wife.

Why is Anonymous posting being used to seek advice on how to commit a crime and why is the administration OK with this? Hypnotizing someone so you can fuck them is pretty much rape. Does the TFP no longer have standards?

passive aggressive much?

If you think there is something wrong, use the report button. Obviously you didn't find much wrong here because you didn't bother to use it.

It's a discussion, there's no rape that has taken place nor has there been any rape planning, unless of course we've got some pre-cogs and can arrest people for thoughts before actions ala Minority Report.

Dear TFP, please make sure you comprehend a post before responding. Otherwise you look like a bunch of damn lemmings.

Nowhere in the OP was there any rape mentioned or implied. The OP is looking for help turning his wife back into a PARTNER, not taking advantage of her. Sure it could have been worded a little better, but you folks are better than to just see one mention of the word "rape" a few posts later and then come flocking like flies on shit. Congratulations, you've devolved from lemmings to flies in 3 sentences. Well done. Well done. [slow clap]

To the OP, listen, you sick fuck we don't like your ki.... oh, wait, I actually read the OP.

To the OP, if your wife wasn't adventurous before, that's a separate issue than her weight. There are probably some commonalities there, but they're separate. If she was never GGG, her getting a supermodel body isn't going to change that. This is where discussion is key. You each have needs - yours is getting your ashes hauled every once in a while (gotta love the 40's slang) and hers, apparently, is less pie. Unless you've committed an actual crime (as opposed to the imagined one above), you've done nothing to deserve no sex. You probably need to talk to a professional together about that, because it's generally a deal breaker.

Hey, Cyn, go pound sand. Do you have to be a complete dick to be an Admin?

Seriously, the guy wants his wife hypnotized without her consent so he can get more sex and is actively seeking advice on how to do it? I'm pretty sure that if he went through with that at a minimum the therapist would lose his license and yes, depending on jurisdiction, criminal charges might be laid.

Now I'm so very sorry that I did not think to use the "Report Button". I've been here 6 years and have never thought to do so, and didn't even realize there was such a thing.

---------- Post added at 09:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:59 PM ----------

No, I don't think you did read the OP, Jazz. How is asking a therapist to surreptiously hypnotize his wife into doing things sexually she would not otherwise do any different from lacing her drink to achieve the same ends?

I really appreciate how you equate the membership of TFP with "flies on shit" and "lemmings". The respect you have for the members of this community is just so profound.

:shakehead:

Not being a dick. Stating that if you feel that it's an inappropriate post, there's method to report it to staff, either by using the report post button or even sending a PM to any of the staff individually.

People have the ability to post and voice their opinion, this isn't much different than the sexuality debacle that has been on the past few days.

I didn't make my post to be a dick. It's because I'm frustrated that people expect the staff to see and make a call on a post that they don't find offensive or potentially problematic. We'd rather allow people to make the post and let the community respond and then act as opposed to being draconian and locking threads from the staff. I hope you've noticed that change since it was done a few years ago. We've been much more lax in allow people to doing these things and then react to it.

Again, I don't have enough information to make the assumption that there is a crime being committed. There isn't any reason to infer more to that unless he's admitting to committing the crime.

Talking about it isn't against the rules, nor is it against the law in any of the 50 states.

Rape is a strong word that gets used way too often. The OP's thinking is underhanded and certainly not something I'd approve of (the word despicable springs to mind) but calling it rape is blowing things way out of proportion.

Finding a counselor actually willing to do this doesn't seem very likely, and I frankly wouldn't want any loved one of mine in the hands of such a person.

Let's try to keep things somewhat on track. Nothing wrong has been done here. If the discussion isn't to your liking and if you feel so strongly about it that you can't be civil, I strongly recommend the 'back' button.

...

Man, I'll never be an admin. I'm way too reasonable.

I sympathise, but I'd point out that if you can find a hypnotist who will "treat" your wife the way you want, even if it works, you will end up with someone acting against thier inclination, which in the long run will lead to stress and depression.

Much better to consciously raise the issue and discuss the problems as Logan so clearly says.

I don't know, man.

Out of all the words to choose from, why select two that have implications of deceit and trickery if he's looking only to jump start the wife's sex drive? Sure as hell reads like rape to me.

It's definitely a questionable act. It could even be illegal, but that doesn't make it rape. The OP might have been having a moral dilemma with the question in his head and just wanted clarification, so he asked. I think the answers have been, for the most part, reasonable. There is no need to scream rape. Although if he had somehow gone through with it, it probably would have gotten the therapist fired/disbarred, and there would have been cause to question the legality of the situation ( rape case ). That would be a decision for the prosecutor's office and a judge and jury, and I don't think it would be all that clear cut of a case.

From what I've read about hypnotism, it can't make you do something you don't want to do anyway, but it can remove some inhibitions, which by implication means removing inhibitions that were in the way of what you wanted to do anyway.

So I take it TFP supports hypnosis that results in more sex?

Interesting point. Does "TFP Support" anything?

This is a talking shop, not a democracy - there's no collective responsibility; you can say things I disagree with, and it is not the voice of TFP, it's the voice of P9.

I think that the OP needs to fix himself before he tries to fix his wife; and I believe that his plan is sinister - if not "rape" then certainly verging on "dishonesty in marriage".

Well, nowhere in that post did he say that this wasn't going to be discussed with his wife. Perhaps that was implied but it's definitely not explicitely stated. Let's not discard Plan9's point that the whole idea is completely laughable from the outset since no amount of hypnosis is going to turn someone into a tiger in the sack. It simply doesn't work that way.

And when I see people do stupid things, you better damn well believe that I'm going to point them out. I followed the rules of the board. I'm pretty sure I can point to at least 2 instances in this thread where you didn't.

As for my respect for the members of this community, your opinion is noted. You'll be the first to know when I start to care any more beyond that.

Actually, having said what I said, I don't support it without the expressed written permission of the hypnotee. Or is it the hypnotized? Whichever. Sounds wrong to me.

No-no, we have a pro-sex agenda here. I can smell it.

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/su...anishFlies.png


...hint, hint.

hypnosis? hell yeah!

sex? damn right!

sex through hypnosis? bad combination!

If she has gained the weight during your relationship and has become increasing uncomfortable with herself, I would guess that is why she does not want sex anymore. If she doesn't feel sexy, she won't get horny. If she is going for hypnosis to help her with her weight and it actually works, she will probably return to her normal self in time.

You want her to be an adventurous nympho, well.. you have to talk to her about that. She has to feel comfortable about the things you want to do to her or have her do to you. But she will never know that you want to act out a rape scenario if you don't tell her. ;)

Hah! This is a good point. I was joking with my support comment but I think the TFP does support certain things. LoganSnake's Mister Rogers-style outline of the "TFP Relationship Agenda" is one of them. And good sex is another.

I think I can get away with those two items. They're kinda like TFP genetics. What do you think?

Self-image has a lot to do with many people, even women! If she feels she needs to lose weight she probably isn't happy with how she looks, which might lead to her not being into sex. Seems pretty simple...make her feel pretty and special and that you value her just the way she is and that might go far.