Customary greetings in different parts of the world - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

little_tippler · 02-02-2010, 08:44 AM

What is the customary way in which people greet each other in your country?

I thought this might be interesting to share because it can vary from country to country.

I thought of this because I know that the customary greeting (between strangers or otherwise) in my country is not the most usual all over the western world. Would be interesting if anyone knows about greetings in other countries too.

So here in Portugal, the customary greeting between strangers is one of two options:

1) 2 kisses, one on each cheek;

this can sometimes be an ‘air’ kiss, or more commonly, just touching cheeks and the kiss sound.

2) a handshake;

This applies only between men and women, and if you are a girl you can almost bet that you’ll have to do #1 every time. In work situations, usually #2 is applied, but sometimes #1 will occur if you are a woman, especially if you have met the person (even if it’s at work) before.

If you are a guy, you go through #1 for women, and #2 for men, only giving kisses to men in your family, usually your father or brothers. Sometimes instead of #2, men who are friends will do the pat-on-the-back-hug.

I know for a fact that between Belgian men who are friends, #1 is customary.

In Finland, #1 is reserved only for close friends and family.

I recall when I was in the US last year, sometimes I forgot the customary handshake and went for the kiss...people always looked at me like I was a bit odd but then accepted it once I explained. I felt a bit silly but I don’t mind.

I quite like the two kisses policy, except when it’s someone I hardly know.

So what is customary where you live?

snowy · 02-02-2010, 08:51 AM

Generally, a handshake. Between good friends, a hug.

In the Netherlands, there is a kissing greeting, and I use that with Dutch cousins, aunts, and uncles. One uncle insisted he had to train all of us American relatives in the proper way to greet a friend or relative in the Netherlands. A cousin from another branch of the family tree came to visit last spring, and he thought it was cool that I knew how to do it. I'm pretty sure he didn't expect it--Americans are uptight about that sort of thing.

Lucifer · 02-02-2010, 09:05 AM

That kissing on cheeks, is something I really miss about living in Portugal. Bejinhos! That took me a while to get used to though. I can still remember pulling back in surprise the first time a girl leaned her head towards mine to kiss my cheeks! But I quickly learned to love it, it's great for a guy: The first time you meet a pretty girl, she kisses your cheeks! Right On!

LoganSnake · 02-02-2010, 09:42 AM

In Ukraine and Russia:

Men shake hands at every hello (I shake hands every morning with my Russian co-workers). Men that are related may also customarily kiss on the cheek or on the lips. Oldest members in my family do it, but it's not that much used anymore. Hugs are also common.

Kisses on the cheek and hugs for women. Both for man/woman and woman/woman greetings.

dlish · 02-02-2010, 10:13 AM

Lebanon - men and women - the greeting is asalamu aleikum (peace be upon you) - most usually in muslim culture - followed by3 kisses on the cheek

UAE - Men - - The greeting is asalamu aleikum followed by q hand shake and touch noses. im not sure if women touch noses either, but they dont touch noses with men.
Australia - greeting is "gday mate". The gesture is pointing over to the beer fridge to grab a cold one, and to grab one also for each of your mates

little_tippler · 02-02-2010, 01:03 PM

@snowy: can you describe what this kissing greeting consists of?

It's a shame if Americans are uptight as you're saying, because I find the fact that people do a kissing greeting here makes it easier to relate to people, there is a definite warmth. I didn't feel that people were uptight there about my trying to kiss them (lol), they were just surprised. I think once they realized what it was they actually didn't mind.

@Lucifer: cheeky! (literally haha) You'd think it would make men be more forward since there is that immediate familiarity but I don't think they are, in fact men in Portugal are remarkably at a loss when it comes to snagging the ladies. But that is material for a different thread

@LoganSnake: Interesting that it's the men kissing on the lips! Why is that? Or do women do it too? When you say kisses and hugs, you mean all in one greeting or in separate moments?

In Portugal we do hugs too, with good friends. Kissing on the lips is usually seen between parents and their little kids, usually under 5. I'm pretty sure my mom and dad used to do that with me but I have to say I don't think I'll do it if I have children. I guess only people who have had children can explain the reasoning behind that.

@dlish: why 3 kisses? There's only two cheeks heh. Touching noses is cute. Not sure how I'd feel about doing that one! So in Australia there's no physical contact, just "g'day mate"? Hehe

To all posters: apart from telling us about different greetings you know, how do you feel about them? How do you feel about the greetings others are posting? Do you like them? Do they sound odd or interesting to you?

as an aside, I recently had an acting class where we had an improvisation exercise based around greetings. The teacher started by saying we had gone to Mars and the aliens living there (ha) had a greeting for every day of the week. Some of the fun greetings we came up with were touching elbows, shoulders, knees, ankles, wrists...all with a kissing noise. It was interesting to do because we realized how many different things you can come up with if you put your mind to it. It was not just an exercise in creativity, but also an exercise in remembering sequences as a group and reproducing them fast on command.

snowy · 02-02-2010, 01:33 PM

Three kisses, one on the cheek to the right, one on the cheek to the left, another on the cheek to the right. Don't be surprised if I'm wrong on the directions...I have directional dyslexia.

spindles · 02-02-2010, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little_tippler

@dlish: why 3 kisses? There's only two cheeks heh. Touching noses is cute. Not sure how I'd feel about doing that one! So in Australia there's no physical contact, just "g'day mate"? Hehe

Seriously, Aussies can be informal like dlish said, up to hand shakes for men and a single kiss on the cheek for women. Kisses usually signify a more than casual relationship (i.e. you wouldn't kiss a girl on a cheek straight after meeting them). It can be awkward if one person thinks you are at the 'kiss' stage and the other doesn't...

Handshakes among men are more likely when greeting/being introduced to someone, but less likely the more you know someone (or how regularly you see them). For example, I play golf with a guy each week. We hardly ever shake hands. If we play with someone we haven't played with before we'll shake hands as we introduce ourselves.

Family - is more likely to include hand shakes, especially if you don't see them that often.

The_Jazz · 02-02-2010, 02:14 PM

Perhaps the culture has changed, but at Delta Gamma sorority at Emory University in Atlanta in the early and mid-90's, sisters greeted each other with "eeeeeee!", with the shrillness and sound levels directly proportional to the amount of time since they'd last seen each other. There was also bouncing and hugging of elbows for prolonged absenses.

And I'm not being a smartass. I dated one and had to put up with it. God forbid a sister that no one had seen in a year showed up. Windows would have shattered for blocks.

LoganSnake · 02-02-2010, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little_tippler

@LoganSnake: Interesting that it's the men kissing on the lips! Why is that? Or do women do it too? When you say kisses and hugs, you mean all in one greeting or in separate moments?

I don't know why that is. I'm not really up on my greetings history. Women do it too, however I've seen the men do it more than women in my family.

Usually it's either kisses or hugs, but some people do both. I guess it depends on how close they are or how long they haven't seen each other in.

Should've clarified that kisses are for friends and family members. Strangers who had just met shake hands. Both men and women.

Charlatan · 02-02-2010, 04:41 PM

There isn't much kissing in this part of the world. Things are much more formal. Either it is a shaking of hands or a bow (though that happens very rarely).

What I do find interesting is that instead of g'day or how's it going, people ask, Have you eaten, or, Had your lunch?

Pearl Trade · 02-02-2010, 05:53 PM

Interesting that no one has really mentioned USA yet.

Handshakes are common fare for anyone. Hugs are usually used for family. Alot of the youth do things like fist bumps and hand slap type things. Don't know what to call it.

dippin · 02-02-2010, 06:04 PM

In Brazil, it is generally handshakes or hugs between men, and 2 or 3 kisses on the cheek between a man and a woman, or between two women. This includes the first time you meet someone.

Which reminds me of the first time I came to live in the US, as a high school student. I remember being introduced to this girl and leaning in to kiss her cheek, but she wasn't expecting it and turned to face me, so I ended up kissing her on the lips. As there were other people around it was initially very awkward, but it led to interesting outcomes later on. Nothing appearing confident because you don't know you are potentially making a fool of yourself.

Jetée · 02-02-2010, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pearl Trade

Interesting that no one has really mentioned USA yet.

Handshakes are common fare for anyone. Hugs are usually used for family. Alot of the youth do things like fist bumps and hand slap type things. Don't know what to call it.

It's a melting pot of a nation. No one hand gesture or phrasing is going to sum up the customs of +300 million people. Fist bumps, for whatever reason, have gained alot of headway in the past decade among many youths and adults alike. Some 'downhome' states regular employ their trademark 'Southern Hospitality' appeal and go for the bear hugs and passionate smooches (one stop short of full-grab). I'd reckon its impossible for any person to definitively sum up their nations means of saluations without first having traveled throughout the entire region, and gaining your expertise from there. You are welcome to try, but I'd more than likely observe and report to you than in Cataluna, things go like this, and in Oviedo, they are more like this. Also, things graduate over time, decades, generations, so what was customary then, may be passe now. What makes the difference are the subtle or altogether huge nuances(I know oxymoron, both ways).

I'd also caution for anyone reading to take the above contributions from other members as mere tips and pointers of what you may encounter, a 'usual occurrence', but to not altogether rely on them as canon for what every person of said nationality would regularly engage in. People are not automatically what whatever guidebook or tourist informant tells us what their culture is.

Explore your neighborhood, city, state, country and find what people prefer.
Honestly, I haven't heard anyone say 'Hello' to me in 2-3 years. It is usually a 'Hey', 'What's up?' or 'How's it going?'.

LordEden · 02-02-2010, 06:55 PM

My friend Kurt is Italian and kisses once on both cheeks with a quick kiss on the lips. I've gotten used to it when we meet up and he is drinking. Doesn't bother me anymore. He only does it with people that are comfortable with it.

Lucifer · 02-03-2010, 01:12 AM

hate to break this to you bro, but I think Kurt is making a pass at you...

laconic1 · 02-03-2010, 01:12 AM

Handshakes are the norm here although being the antisocial loner dork I am when I first went away to college after a couple years in the workforce I did not know about the different handshake college students used. Instead of a conventional handshake you would slap their hand like you are doing a high five at waist level, then pull your hand back, sliding your hand across theirs while curling your fingers into a fist and do a fist bump. I think I was literally the only guy on campus that did not know how to do this handshake when I arrived. Really awkward the first time a guy tried shaking my hand and I got it all wrong. I'm so glad I don't have to shake hands that way anymore.

little_tippler · 02-03-2010, 06:05 AM

surfers do that greeting here laconic1. I guess younger college types do too.

Also, I just remembered that some people also do the one kiss on one cheek thing here too. This usually comes from people from a posh area of town, it's just soooo posh to do, if you get my meaning.

It also means many people who are greeting these 'posh' people are stupidly left hanging for the second kiss :\
I hate this and always make them give me the 2nd one, which usually makes them uncomfortable heh.

Plan9 · 02-03-2010, 09:09 AM

Verbally abusing the other person is very popular in many US military circles.

"Hey, fucker! How've you been?" "You sonuvabitch!" "Look at this jerkoff!" etc.

The amount of language not suitable for television is nearly 50% in many greetings.

Honestly, I had to detox myself from using the F-word as a universal convo filler when I got out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucifer

hate to break this to you bro, but I think Kurt is making a pass at you...

...he's not mentioning his friend that has the weird habit of checking his oil as a greeting.

dlish · 02-03-2010, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spindles

Seriously, Aussies can be informal like dlish said, up to hand shakes for men and a single kiss on the cheek for women. Kisses usually signify a more than casual relationship (i.e. you wouldn't kiss a girl on a cheek straight after meeting them). It can be awkward if one person thinks you are at the 'kiss' stage and the other doesn't...

Handshakes among men are more likely when greeting/being introduced to someone, but less likely the more you know someone (or how regularly you see them). For example, I play golf with a guy each week. We hardly ever shake hands. If we play with someone we haven't played with before we'll shake hands as we introduce ourselves.

Family - is more likely to include hand shakes, especially if you don't see them that often.

spins is right. the more you know someone and the more regulrly you see them, the less you need to keep with formalities in australian culture. thats what i love about our laid back attitude.

the handshake is usually customary between strangers, but it evolves into a kiss on cheek relationship with a woman.

snowy is right also - right - left - right. not sure how or why, but i can find out. its awkward when you meet someone who doesnt know which side to go for, and you both go for the same side and almost end up kissing lips

Toaster126 · 02-03-2010, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plan9

...he's not mentioning his friend that has the weird habit of checking his oil as a greeting.

I will never forgive you for the five minutes of my life I spent trying to get spaghetti out of my lungs and laptop compy I will never get back.

I generally greet people with a verbal greeting (or a general group greeting if there are a lot of people), and I will often make physical contact in some fashion with people. The more I like you the greater the chance I touch you, and the more likely it is a more "familiar" touch to put it simply.

For those I don't know well, it is a handshake, but for those I do know well, it could be damn near anything except the aforementioned oil check. Haha. I think people over think these things... the important part is not what you are actually doing per se, but why you are doing it and how it will be interpreted by your audience. You wouldn't pick up someone in greeting or smack them in the ass if they were offended by that, for example.

Conversely, people I don't like don't get to touch me, and I will not put up with it.

My biological father's side of the fam is Hatian, and when I am around people of that culture I do what is expected in that scenario, which is a greeting (with the family title if applicable i.e. Uncle Bob or Uncle instead of Bob) and a handshake for the men, and a kiss on each cheek for the ladies. They always tell me I am well-mannered, so I keep it up.

02-02-2010, 08:44 AM	#1 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	Customary greetings in different parts of the world What is the customary way in which people greet each other in your country? I thought this might be interesting to share because it can vary from country to country. I thought of this because I know that the customary greeting (between strangers or otherwise) in my country is not the most usual all over the western world. Would be interesting if anyone knows about greetings in other countries too. So here in Portugal, the customary greeting between strangers is one of two options: 1) 2 kisses, one on each cheek; this can sometimes be an ‘air’ kiss, or more commonly, just touching cheeks and the kiss sound. 2) a handshake; This applies only between men and women, and if you are a girl you can almost bet that you’ll have to do #1 every time. In work situations, usually #2 is applied, but sometimes #1 will occur if you are a woman, especially if you have met the person (even if it’s at work) before. If you are a guy, you go through #1 for women, and #2 for men, only giving kisses to men in your family, usually your father or brothers. Sometimes instead of #2, men who are friends will do the pat-on-the-back-hug. I know for a fact that between Belgian men who are friends, #1 is customary. In Finland, #1 is reserved only for close friends and family. I recall when I was in the US last year, sometimes I forgot the customary handshake and went for the kiss...people always looked at me like I was a bit odd but then accepted it once I explained. I felt a bit silly but I don’t mind. I quite like the two kisses policy, except when it’s someone I hardly know. So what is customary where you live? __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918

02-02-2010, 08:51 AM	#2 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	Generally, a handshake. Between good friends, a hug. In the Netherlands, there is a kissing greeting, and I use that with Dutch cousins, aunts, and uncles. One uncle insisted he had to train all of us American relatives in the proper way to greet a friend or relative in the Netherlands. A cousin from another branch of the family tree came to visit last spring, and he thought it was cool that I knew how to do it. I'm pretty sure he didn't expect it--Americans are uptight about that sort of thing. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

02-02-2010, 09:05 AM	#3 (permalink)
Lucifer Husband of Seamaiden Location: Nova Scotia	That kissing on cheeks, is something I really miss about living in Portugal. Bejinhos! That took me a while to get used to though. I can still remember pulling back in surprise the first time a girl leaned her head towards mine to kiss my cheeks! But I quickly learned to love it, it's great for a guy: The first time you meet a pretty girl, she kisses your cheeks! Right On! __________________ I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. - Job 30:29 1123, 6536, 5321

02-02-2010, 09:42 AM	#4 (permalink)
LoganSnake We work alone Location: Cake Town	In Ukraine and Russia: Men shake hands at every hello (I shake hands every morning with my Russian co-workers). Men that are related may also customarily kiss on the cheek or on the lips. Oldest members in my family do it, but it's not that much used anymore. Hugs are also common. Kisses on the cheek and hugs for women. Both for man/woman and woman/woman greetings. __________________ Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques Last edited by LoganSnake; 02-02-2010 at 09:45 AM..

02-02-2010, 10:13 AM	#5 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	Lebanon - men and women - the greeting is asalamu aleikum (peace be upon you) - most usually in muslim culture - followed by3 kisses on the cheek UAE - Men - - The greeting is asalamu aleikum followed by q hand shake and touch noses. im not sure if women touch noses either, but they dont touch noses with men. Australia - greeting is "gday mate". The gesture is pointing over to the beer fridge to grab a cold one, and to grab one also for each of your mates __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

02-02-2010, 01:03 PM	#6 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	@snowy: can you describe what this kissing greeting consists of? It's a shame if Americans are uptight as you're saying, because I find the fact that people do a kissing greeting here makes it easier to relate to people, there is a definite warmth. I didn't feel that people were uptight there about my trying to kiss them (lol), they were just surprised. I think once they realized what it was they actually didn't mind. @Lucifer: cheeky! (literally haha) You'd think it would make men be more forward since there is that immediate familiarity but I don't think they are, in fact men in Portugal are remarkably at a loss when it comes to snagging the ladies. But that is material for a different thread @LoganSnake: Interesting that it's the men kissing on the lips! Why is that? Or do women do it too? When you say kisses and hugs, you mean all in one greeting or in separate moments? In Portugal we do hugs too, with good friends. Kissing on the lips is usually seen between parents and their little kids, usually under 5. I'm pretty sure my mom and dad used to do that with me but I have to say I don't think I'll do it if I have children. I guess only people who have had children can explain the reasoning behind that. @dlish: why 3 kisses? There's only two cheeks heh. Touching noses is cute. Not sure how I'd feel about doing that one! So in Australia there's no physical contact, just "g'day mate"? Hehe To all posters: apart from telling us about different greetings you know, how do you feel about them? How do you feel about the greetings others are posting? Do you like them? Do they sound odd or interesting to you? as an aside, I recently had an acting class where we had an improvisation exercise based around greetings. The teacher started by saying we had gone to Mars and the aliens living there (ha) had a greeting for every day of the week. Some of the fun greetings we came up with were touching elbows, shoulders, knees, ankles, wrists...all with a kissing noise. It was interesting to do because we realized how many different things you can come up with if you put your mind to it. It was not just an exercise in creativity, but also an exercise in remembering sequences as a group and reproducing them fast on command. __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918

02-02-2010, 01:33 PM	#7 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	Three kisses, one on the cheek to the right, one on the cheek to the left, another on the cheek to the right. Don't be surprised if I'm wrong on the directions...I have directional dyslexia. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

02-02-2010, 02:14 PM	#9 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	Perhaps the culture has changed, but at Delta Gamma sorority at Emory University in Atlanta in the early and mid-90's, sisters greeted each other with "eeeeeee!", with the shrillness and sound levels directly proportional to the amount of time since they'd last seen each other. There was also bouncing and hugging of elbows for prolonged absenses. And I'm not being a smartass. I dated one and had to put up with it. God forbid a sister that no one had seen in a year showed up. Windows would have shattered for blocks. __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

02-02-2010, 04:41 PM	#11 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	There isn't much kissing in this part of the world. Things are much more formal. Either it is a shaking of hands or a bow (though that happens very rarely). What I do find interesting is that instead of g'day or how's it going, people ask, Have you eaten, or, Had your lunch? __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

02-02-2010, 05:53 PM	#12 (permalink)
Pearl Trade Addict Location: Houston, Texas	Interesting that no one has really mentioned USA yet. Handshakes are common fare for anyone. Hugs are usually used for family. Alot of the youth do things like fist bumps and hand slap type things. Don't know what to call it. __________________ Our revenge will be the laughter of our children. Give me convenience or give me death!

02-02-2010, 06:04 PM	#13 (permalink)
dippin Crazy, indeed Location: the ether	In Brazil, it is generally handshakes or hugs between men, and 2 or 3 kisses on the cheek between a man and a woman, or between two women. This includes the first time you meet someone. Which reminds me of the first time I came to live in the US, as a high school student. I remember being introduced to this girl and leaning in to kiss her cheek, but she wasn't expecting it and turned to face me, so I ended up kissing her on the lips. As there were other people around it was initially very awkward, but it led to interesting outcomes later on. Nothing appearing confident because you don't know you are potentially making a fool of yourself.

02-03-2010, 01:12 AM	#16 (permalink)
Lucifer Husband of Seamaiden Location: Nova Scotia	hate to break this to you bro, but I think Kurt is making a pass at you... __________________ I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. - Job 30:29 1123, 6536, 5321

02-03-2010, 01:12 AM	#17 (permalink)
laconic1 Junkie	Handshakes are the norm here although being the antisocial loner dork I am when I first went away to college after a couple years in the workforce I did not know about the different handshake college students used. Instead of a conventional handshake you would slap their hand like you are doing a high five at waist level, then pull your hand back, sliding your hand across theirs while curling your fingers into a fist and do a fist bump. I think I was literally the only guy on campus that did not know how to do this handshake when I arrived. Really awkward the first time a guy tried shaking my hand and I got it all wrong. I'm so glad I don't have to shake hands that way anymore.

02-03-2010, 06:05 AM	#18 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	surfers do that greeting here laconic1. I guess younger college types do too. Also, I just remembered that some people also do the one kiss on one cheek thing here too. This usually comes from people from a posh area of town, it's just soooo posh to do, if you get my meaning. It also means many people who are greeting these 'posh' people are stupidly left hanging for the second kiss :\ I hate this and always make them give me the 2nd one, which usually makes them uncomfortable heh. __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918