The dumbing down of love
 

I really don't know how to start on this, it's a curious topic for me that may not even need a response. I'm more just reaching out to a community I've been a part off for a while.

The issue is simply - I can't but don't want too escape my relationship memories, and it's eating at me.

Let me simply say I love my life. I've been fortunate to be able to utilize my learned skills when given the oppurtunity too, and have had a successful life. Relationship wise I've been very fortunate, and have had the priveledge of knowing many fine women whom I'm proud to call friends now, even after breaking up.

That's where the problem lies. There's been too many women.

I know it sounds conceited and brass, but don't take it that I'm so horn dog going after ass and only ass. Far from that.

Growing up with 2 sisters and no brothers, I was exposed too girls all my life. I've never been long without having a girl in my life. When I'm at points of solitude (single, so on) I begin to miss having that female presence around me.

Now here, 6 years dating I've been with 14 girls relationship wise (This isn't a matter of sex, so please don't see it that way) and..

I remember everything about them. Every little detail. It's the type of person I am.. There are times when I hang out with my group of friends, and I qoute verbatim what they say or did 5 years ago. I get strange looks sometimes because of how trivial it was, but still that's me.

With women that I've had a relationship with it goes further. I remember things so unique, and they eat at me sometimes. I wake up in a cold sweat sometimes because I can see one of their faces....so real. I can hear how they talk, in their exact voices. It haunts me....all of them. I remember even where the mole and scars are on their bodies.

It's odd telling you guys this, but it's what's eating at me now. Mostly since I recently lost the last lady in my life.

I just want to say guys have emotions too, and guys also remember things too.....and sometimes it really eats at us. Consumes us.

What do you guys think? Any suggestions? Call me crazy :)?

Such are the burdens of a long memory.
I suffer from this too, almost exactly as you describe.

But you do have to let it go & move on.
Reflect fondly, and continue your life.

And even though situations just haven't worked out in the past,
Like myself, you sound as if you care & have much love to give.

You will someday come into sync with some lucky lady,
who you will finally have continuous mutual love with.
And you will stay together.

The other memories will be there, but she will fill your thoughts & soul.
A bright sun, in comparison to the distant stars.

I wish you well.

as we get older in life we carry more baggage...

some people have overnighters, some have carry ons, some have a full set of suitcases, valets, overnighters, carry ons, and handbags.

I've tried all my life to limit what truly bothers me and what's something worth carrying on. That's not to say that I didn't care about my past relationships, I did. Sometimes, a food, a saying, movie, aroma remind me of them, I acknowledge it and then I let it go. I just cannot dwell on them.

I really cant put it any better than the two above me have said it, but i suffer from this too. I think the best thing you can do is to try not to dwell on the bad things, or the good things and acknowledge they happened, and move on. Not so much for the sake of your new love, but for yourself. There is no honor lost in letting relationships come to an end.

Thank you guys. Yeah it's this time of loneliness that brings this upon me.

I'm happy to hear though that you guys have had the priveledge of a good life like I have.

I tell people...I'm 75% happy and 25% melancoly...and sometimes even I get sad just like the red headed step child get's born.

Well, you have yet another person with a really good memory here. And I pretty much offer you the same advice as Ganguro, you just gotta try to dwell on the good things, and I know this doesn't help but, I know how it feels.

actually it does help Crow...that's what I remember. The good things :)

I don't have time to worry about the bad that was in my past life. These memories I have...they are all good.

Rachels first kiss
Swimming with Brigette
Dancing with Jackie
Cooking with Katt...etc...all of it. Having sex in a hotel hall way with Amanda :)

Ah good times.

Hellocat,

A lot of guys obviously have been in your boat. Reminiscing is good to a point, when it gets unhealthy, I try to find lots of things to keep me busy, and take my mind off it. It also keeps stress down if those 'things' are non-work related.

Cheers.

Hello Kitty :)

Finally someone get's it.

I'm asian, so rice and hello kitty flows in my veins.