unthinking sexist behaviour
 

Ok, so when its pointed out I can see its kind of sexist, but when I do this I dont mean to be sexist by it.

But how many other people do this:

Youre a passenger in a car, driven by a woman, and someone lets the car go - at a junction or in a queue or whatever: and you give the other driver the "cheers mate" wave... you dont do this if another male is driving, but I cant deny I do this unthinkingly if a female is driving.

Am I just a complete cad, or do other guys do this??

Maybe it's different here in the Southern U.S., or maybe it's just us. When Red and I are in a lot of traffic the driver drives and the passenger does the waving to acknowledge a courtesy from another driver. Gender of the driver or passenger usually doesn't make a difference. I don't care what the gender of the driver is, when another driver on the road offers a courtesy, a thank-you wave is offered back. The same goes for Red, I think, if he is the passenger with a male driver. Good question, though.

Yeah, it's pretty common in the US to get waved at by and to wave to both male and female drivers.

The driver is the one who usually waves.

Might just be you guys. I live in the southern US, and it seems kind of bad form for one of us (when we're a passenger) to hand out the acknowledgment and thank-you waves. What if the driver was actually miffed by something someone did, and here I am telling said douche driver, "hey, thanks!" Seems like it would be pretty rude on the passenger's part, actually.
As far as gender goes, I wave to both sexes. But with the women, if they wave back, I expect them not to be upset when I follow them home and make wildly inappropriate advances.

Maybe I didnt explain it very well

In the UK it is also normal to wave to the other driver in acknowledgment if they let you cut into lane, let you go at a junction, etc..

What I was saying was that when I am a passenger and a woman is driving I unthinkingly find myself acknowledging other drivers on her behalf...

Hence I am a sexist bastard.

I'm sorry strange but I came to terms with the fact your totally pussy whipped

I had friends like this in high school. Scratch that, I know people like this in high school and at my former workplace and all around me. Strange if you were to hang around me you would totally be pissed off at how I treat women.

I say women because you wouldn't notice how I treat the men. The truth is they are all the same. And to be honest, strange, I am a FIRM believer that you should not work in any HR job or, in fact, any position that directly influences anyone's life. I KNOW for a fact the prettier a woman is the more control they can assert over you without their realizing it.

And to answer your OP, NO, it isn't sexist. It's only sexist to the men who care and I am willing to bet top dollar no one male really cares about you waving "cheers mate" to them if you give way.

I guess I really am not explaining myself at all

I am not sayng I wave at women and not men.

I am saying that if I am a passenger in a car a woman is driving, and someone lets the car which the woman is driving and I am a passenger in go, I will acknowledge the fact with a wave even though I am a passenger only. If I was a passenger in a car a man was driving in the same circumstances I would not acknowledge a driver letting the car I was a passenger in and man was driving in go the same way.

I wish I never asked this question now!

I see what you're saying. But no, personally I've never done that.

Ohh, well, in that case, it's just impolite. My earlier conclusion was reached by the fact that you (consciously or not) seemed to make an active distinction on the sex of the parties in question and act on upon that.

I wave. I don't think about gender.

The only conclusion I draw is that you must be British.

That's an interesting question. I could tell what you meant from your first post; there can be some "passenger awareness" when the driver's female. I don't think about it at the time, but there definitely are things I'm watching, unnecessarily, when a passenger in the front seat.

I think the sexism in that situation is interesting because you frequently realize your observance of a female driver, but rarely of a male driver. It's not like we're some superior vehicle operator species, but I rarely keep tabs on male drivers. And when I'm the driver, my criticism of others on the road is pretty even between both sexes.

My anecdotal experience informs me that women are worse drivers, and less polite drivers too. I've yet to have enough experiences which defy this stereotype to make it a useless one, so I don't really see anything wrong with believing that they are worse drivers, particularly in my current geographic location. It is helpful for me to gauge what potentially unsafe actions an unknown driver will make if I know the sex and/or race of the driver. *shrug*

Interesting follow up:
Today I went out for lunch with my coworkers. I wasn't driving, so I figured I should pay attention to the male driver to see if I noticed more than I usually do. Some things did seem a little strange - he mentioned the advantage to not using main streets when traveling to lunch; the more casual trip sets your lunch into a calmer break in your workday. He also changed the song on his CD player 5 or 6 times during the 15 minute drive.

On the way back, he suddenly decided to take a right and go through a neighborhood instead of taking main streets all the way. He was observant and driving properly, except he seemed to be going faster than the 25MPH limit. Then a cop pulled him over and said he was going 35. Then he looked him up, came back and asked him to step out, then came back and informed me there was a warrant for his arrest.

None of this is directly relevant.. but the slight oddities suddenly turned into driving 40% over the limit and visiting jail.. The explosive variations of vehicle operation don't show their actual impact until the risk, minor or serious, crosses the edge and clearly reveals the result.. sometimes it's the weirdest lunch story you've ever heard and you ramble about it on web forums.