Zeraph

I say die, not kill myself. I do need/want to finish my book. That's about the main thing keeping me going. But disease has imprisoned me in my own body. Well not quite so bad as that but close. Anyways, I got drunk tonight. Am now. Side note...I'm amazed I can still type ~50 words a minute yet I can barely walk. Anyways, what do you do when you've become so bored you're ready to die? This isn't depression either, I've got a degree and have experienced it before and this isn't it. Right right now, this moment, I want to connect with more people. I called my friends and they were busy or not answering (one friend just had a kid). Especially connect in a sexual freedom kind of way I wouldn't normally be able to sober (I have sever anxiety problems).

Fuck, it just makes me so angry atm. I feel so trapped and imprisoned. All I want is to be free.

PS holy shit, I don't think I blinked through writing that entire thing.

Martian

Go buy an $80 guitar, and then learn to play it. It will eat away hours of time. Days, even.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

Zeraph

I already play 3 musical instruments including guitar. this isn't your run of the mill episode.

On a deep level I want to connect with people but they only turn away in fear. And this skating on the surface of everything has gotten so so so so droll.

DaniGirl

When I am really board (with three kids that does not happen that often) I come here to talk to people. I also quilt. At night I clean my apartment and believe me with three kids and a slob as a husband its a real job. But it helps me clear my mind.

Martian

So go connect with people. It's not hard.

"Hi, my name is Zeraph and I like your pendant/sweater/ear lobes. What do you do for a living/for fun/with 3 dead hookers in the trunk of your car?"

Connect'd!

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

Zeraph

at this moment, I can't drive (too drunk) and have exhausted my options. I do plan to try and connect more in the future though. the problem is getting to the places before my anxiety disorder kicks in (since I can't take medication whilst driving).

But the other half of the problem is that few are on my wavelength so to speak. While the tfp may be accepting of kink, most aren't . Not sure yet how I should get around that.

noodle

masturbate.
in all seriousness.
it releases endorphins and lets
me relax enough to think straight.

__________________

Zeraph

my current answer: scarification! Weee finally did it. Tried for a circle on my forearm. It was quite bloody, more so than I thought. I used a razor and then flour to pack the wound. Its just now drying as I write. can't wait to see the results. I took pics but they were bloody, not sure I should post em on the tfp.

less artistic than a tattoo but more satisfying in its own way.

Xerxys

What just happened here?

Take a short walk outside if not for just five minutes. This funk has to wear off so you can be productive again. Failure to do so will extend the funk and it doesn't matter what you want, what matters is you sort out what you need first!!

paddyjoe

I'll usually sift through my old negatives and pick some out to scan. Working with those always helps to fire my creative juices and motivates me to grab my camera and go shoot.


or, what noodle said........

Glory's Sun

woah woah woah.. you're doing your own scar art??

that should be left to professionals.

unless you're a professional, you're nothing more than a cutter at this point. that's certainly not going to help your connections problem. wtf.

wooÐs

I watched an episode of 'Mental' last night. There was a kid on there who was infatuated with amputees. He started with a toe. Then fingers. But he never felt truly whole until he finally cut his hand off.

So I'm glad you're feeling better.

Suzz04

I don't know if this would even be a interest, but I have a subscription to realarcade.com , no I'm not a employee or trying to promote them. It's 4.94 a month, and I get a free credit for which ever game I decide I want at the time. It's kept myself busy and some of the games kept my daughter amused this past summer. It's just a little silly thing I do that takes up some of my time.

The other, have you tried crafting? Needlepoint, knitting, crocheting, candle making, candy making with molds? There's this one craft where you get these little plastic sheets of boxes to thread in a pattern. I'm not sure if that'd be called needlepoint as well. How about buy figurines to paint? Christmas village houses, or others to give as presents if you don't want to keep for birthdays, Christmas, or even a get well gift.

I'm probably have not been too helpful with this. But cutting just seems a bit .... well .... painful as well as problematic if it gets infected.

__________________
Quantum Cat Theory:
Upon hearing the sound of a can being opened,
it becomes possible for a cat to travel faster than the speed of light.

Sher-E-Punjab

When i am too bored AND too drunk, i put some of my favourite music on and sing along to it till my throat aches.

But, never felt so bored that i would cut myself up! So, probably i have no idea what you are going through.

A few times i did get into the car and drove around. DUI checks are kinda rare where i come from!

Grancey

Just a little off-topic here. I'm trying to find a good slide/negative scanner. Do you have a recommendation?

__________________
Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.

paddyjoe

I used to have a Nikon Coolscan that was only for slides and negs. Now I use a four or five year old Epson 3200 pro flatbed. It came with all the holders for film, and really does a fine job. I've scanned 35mm negs into photoshop, and printed them to 16x20 without any problem.

soma

Chores
Go to the store and browse/buy random stuff
Rub one out (sometimes two if I'm extra bored or horny)
Nap

__________________
Having Girl Problems?

World's King

Steal from the homeless.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

forseti-6

Go to sleep.

__________________
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss

Grancey

Thanks, I'll check it out.

__________________
Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.

wooÐs

oh, and Google Images gets me by.
Search some word or phrase like 'ugly tramp.' You'll get laughs like this:



or

Xerxys

wooÐs, I love you.

wooÐs

Crack

I quite like that "tramp stamp". Hell, it's better than the butterfly/rose/tribal/bunch of swirly shit that you normally see.

__________________
Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

Leto

That was a great idea. So much so that I went straight away to try it out. I did Ugly Tramp, and saw what you did. I did Cool Cars, then just cool, which made me think to search on rock & roll . Kind of stream of consciousness Googling.... Before I knew it I had spent several minutes without noticing the time.

Oh, the last search I did, on a lark was 'Canadian' (of course eh?) and amongst the multitude images of our flag was this rather telling portrayal of our national stereotype:




It cracked me up....

__________________
You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey
And I never saw someone say that before
You held my hand and we walked home the long way
You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr

http://dune.wikia.com/wiki/Leto_Atreides_I

genuinegirly

When I'm bored it's nice to go for a little walk and collect wildflowers.
Or organize something: Developing new folding methods for clothing feels productive when you find a new way that allows you to place more items in a drawer.

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

wooÐs

I'm glad I could help .

Google Images is great for anytime. I keep weird hours and find myself alone and bored often when it's really late.

I'm certain if I were able to suggest this to the op quicker than I did, he wouldn't be donning a circular gash on his arm that will last his lifetime.

"Wow, what happened there?"
"Oh I was insanely bored on the night of August 15th, 2009."

FelixP

Write. Write your anger, your sorrow, your pain, your abuse, your mistakes, your failings...write mon ami, you will feel better.

__________________
Free will lies not in the ability to craft your own fate, but in not knowing what your fate is. --Me

"I have just returned from visting the Marines at the front, and there is not a finer fighting organization in the world." --Douglas MacArthur

cyklone

At age seven my daughter came to me in the middle of school holidays and complained that she was bored. I asked her if she had been bored yesterday and she said no!. I then asked what was the only difference between yesterday and today. She said "me!" So who is the only person that can fix it, I asked. Again she replied "me". I said, "right! in my experience, only boring people stay bored." She was seven (admittedly a pretty smart seven), she is now twenty one and since that day she has never said to me "I'm bored". Read between the lines.

thingstodo

I read, and then read some more, and then get a new book.

__________________
If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves.

Stangers have the best candy.

thespian86

I have some weird ones:

1) con people: not for their money, but conversation. Strike one up and see how far and how long you can bullshit.

2) apply for ridiculous jobs: "hi Im a 6'4 245 pound male; are there Any positions available as a tanning assistant?"

3) paint a wall in your house

4) go shopping for ridiculous things: see 2.

Pretending/conning makes you lose yourself in the exercise. Try riding public transit to overhear hilarious conversations. Etc.

__________________
EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

Bear Cub

Rape, pillage, and burn down the village.

__________________
Living in the United Socialist States of America.

ametc

I read fortunes or talk to folks. You can talk to me and get a free fortune telling done on AIM @ deadwaterlily

I go up to my family and friends and just say ANYTHING on my mind. I even sing and they are just weirded out by how random I can be. Not "lol OMG I'm sooo random PENGUINS LOL SEE?!". But... I start random discussions with them or sing a song I love or haven't heard in YEARS. Like when I went to Disneyland when I was 5 they had a song that went like, "45 years of adventure!".. I sing that and nobody remembers it but me. And that starts a discussion about similar things.

I also have hobbies.....

I would show you all some art of mine, but my camera doesn't work anymore and most of it is lost in a file cabinet in my grandma's room. But, I have some fun stuff.

Lessee..... I'm a bitch.. so I dunno about you but I love stalking girls I dislike and finding out what horrible news they're up to nowadays. ex: The not-a-lesbian Ugly Twin had a baby with some random dude. OR Fucking junkie chick had a crosseyed midget baby with her uncle?! Scandalousssss... and gross.

Yeah.. totally rude of me but it's fun to gossip with close friends about mutual enemies. hehehehehheehehehe




Or go to last.fm and check out some new music. add me btw @ vulvarotic
Or check out my livejournal @ somethingsosexy.. and START YOUR OWN or ADD ME
or add me to your facebook me= Allison Metcalf in San Diego CA

thirdsun

--get out of the house and into a new or different environment
--take a long weekend trip and just drive, with no destination
--rent a bunch of movies you've always wanted to see, but never have and have a movie marathon
--determine to stop thinking about yourself and do something for somebody else
--get a camera, even a cheap one, and go to a different town or city and take 1000 photographs--don't stop until you get to 1000