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Old 07-11-2009, 01:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Online dating success?

A reply in another thread got me thinking.. Has anyone here had any success with online dating?

I can't say I go out to bars to meet women I'm sorta just there and hoping someone will come up too me, don't laugh its happened a few times lol

I'm just not really a guy who goes up to women and starts conversation, maybe its a lack of confidence or something else. I think I could have some success but I still can't do it so I figured I'd try something like eharmony, it would seem like online dating would be good for a guy like me and I can say that is somewhere I actually am trying to meet someone and not being a shy guy. I'm 2 months into a 3 month plan, I had found a coupon for like 29.99 for 3 months online so I that wasn't too bad.

It was exciting, the commercials had me convinced that the one was here on this site looking for me. I put some effort into my profile and I was off. I felt so optimistic, I had recently gotten out of a LDR and I was looking to meet some people.

The first girl I went through all the steps with amazing when we met I was like wow this girl I possibly out of my league. She was successful, ambitious, really intelligent. We had a couple dates and then one day out of the blue she said she was getting back with her ex. Her profile picture was a pic of her and her ex, she had told me it was her cousin. How do I know? Cause the day she cut it off with me I saw her at the club with her "cousin" dancing and making out.


The next girl was pretty nice also we had a couple dates and then she also flaked out. She texted me that basically said that being with me made her realize she wasn't over her ex yet and and just wanted to see what the site was like.. I just wished her luck and never txted her again.

Then I went through a period where I would communicate with a bunch of women but I didn't really feel the chemistry to want to meet them and things just fizzled.

I meet a couple of other girls who I seemed to have some chemistry with and tried to meet with but they were just content to be txt buddies and sent me a couple of unsolicited naughty pics.. lol whats the point of all that if your not trying to meet? So I let those go.

I met this one girl who I found attractive from her pictures and we got along pretty good and it took along time but I was able to wrangle a meeting out of her and it she didn't look like her pictures at all and didn't even bother to "dress" up for out date and I felt a distinct lack of chemistry in person so I told her that at the end of the date and we said goodbye.

The next girl I met totally misrepresented herself.. she was kinda aggressive and insisted I go to her house to pick her up... I felt kinda weird like I would prefer meeting in a public place but i went. She kinda insisted I come inside and her place was a total mess.. that was a turn off and then she wanted to drive to a place and was cussing at some guy having a fit of road rage.. so awkward ... worst date i been on. I kinda blew off her after that.


I just had a meeting on Thursday with someone and she didn't look like her pictures at all either! She is nice but I got the friend vibe, but she is interested and I couldn't bring it to break it to her that I wasn't interested since she was so nice. I know its better that I do it instead of leading her on.

I am talking to a couple of the girls on there now and only one I can see meeting up with. She looks pretty and we have really good chemistry in our email exchanges so we will see what happens, I'm excited to read her emails and look forward to writing her back. She might be the last one I try to meet before my membership expires.

I might come across as some pig looking for a model, but I'm really not. I feel that I need to be attracted to someone. I'm looking for something serious and I wouldn't date someone who is beautiful and not very intelligent, so it goes both ways. Is it wrong to want a "total" package?

So anyone have any good stories to tell me? My optimistic thoughts are on life support lol
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Old 07-11-2009, 01:50 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I don't have any good stories. The last girl I dated was the only girl I've ever met online. I met her through MySpace, though. I'm not signed up with any of those dating sites.

She turned out to be a lying, cheating whore of a woman...

She let me put it in her ass, though, so that's a plus.
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Old 07-11-2009, 02:15 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Old 07-11-2009, 04:59 PM   #4 (permalink)
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My best FRIENDS I've met online. The last girl I dated whom I met online, I'd like to punch in the throat.

But then again, I'm starting to think that anyone I date, regardless of where I meet them, I'd like to punch in the throat.
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Old 07-12-2009, 05:25 AM   #5 (permalink)
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The one and only person I ever dated from meeting online married me

We'll be together 6 years in September and married 4 in October...so I have to say I have a 100% success rate for dating online ahahahaha
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Old 07-12-2009, 07:25 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I've only ever met one person from online dating. We chit-chatted on date.com a little over 5 years ago and it has led to an awesome on-and-off relationship ever since. When we were separated a few times, I got onto Match.com and promptly hid in horror at the people that were "hitting" on me. I think I'd rather be alone. That's how we initially met, though.
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Old 07-12-2009, 10:23 AM   #7 (permalink)
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i tried it and it failed. my friend met his current (and only so far) wife through online dating. that's all the expierence i have with it.
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Old 07-12-2009, 10:55 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I went on three dates with a guy my friends assumed was my "gay friend" at a party.

I went on a few single dates with guys in Columbus. Didn't get along well.

Dated one guy (Crompsin) for a year after meeting on OKCupid.

Went on a date in late January with a guy I met on OKCupid. Nice date, disrespectful ending.

Going on a date on Tuesday with a guy I met on OKCupid/Match. I'm excited about it.

I have also made a few friends from OKC.
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Old 07-12-2009, 01:33 PM   #9 (permalink)
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my sister is getting married on August 3rd with a guy she meet on some religious dating site. So I believe that it can work out. But it is still dangerous so be careful. My sister is lucky.
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Old 07-12-2009, 02:40 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I'm extremely picky so the few times I've dated anyone I met online, they haven't worked out for more than two or three dates.

But my Ex met his second wife on his first date with someone he met online and I know of many similar stories.

I've come to the conclusion that web dating is a good supplement to expand the pool. You never know what you're gonna get, right?
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Old 07-12-2009, 05:51 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I compare online dating to shopping at a bargain store like TJ Maxx or Marshall's--you may find something great, but you're going to wade through a lot of crap to find it. Even on a somewhat reputable site like Match (where I had a profile but not a membership), I got "winks" from very strange men, including one in his mid 40's looking for a woman in her early 20's to bear him four or more children. I have had relationships spring from online dating, but the most successful ones was when there was no rush to meet. Of course, none of them have been wildly successful considering I'm still single, but there were some good times.
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Old 07-12-2009, 07:53 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Every woman I've met has been through an online encounter. Every single one. Wow, that's kinda odd now that I actually write it out.

I had to count it on my fingers, but it's true. It started way back in the dial-up days of AOL and progressed to dating sites.

Huh. Totally makes me sound creepy if you don't know me. I assure you all that aside from my lack of genitalia, I'm a normal guy.

But yeah-yeah, online dating is totally mondo gnarly funky tubular rad, kiddos! See, it lets me sift through unnecessary awkward first-time-how-are-you? blah-blah bullshit and get to the meat without looking like I'm trying to get her home and wear her skin. No muss, no fuss, no long pregnant sighs required.

I can ask tough questions phrased as friendly little info traps and get answers back without it being too forward / creepy. I can find out how they handle money, if they've used drugs, if they have bastard children, their education versus actual intelligence, their hobbies and ambitions, if their waistline is the same as my height, etc. I find it lets you dig to the dealbreakers quickly. It's non-threatening, so you can get "them digits" easily and progress to the text messages / cell calls... the place you wanna be. It's like you're on Date 2 (TM) and you haven't even met the person yet. Leads to random blowjobs.

I find that several "cyber dates" (extended IM sessions or long emails) are more productive than going out on a blind first date. What's the point of a first date? Really? I mean, you don't know jack about the person you're sitting across from and it's like walking into a minefield with your pants down. I'd rather do a little online recon by sending out expendable remote query probes. Use the IRL date to expand on what you talked about in your emails.

Since I've been "newly single," I've been on what feels like a zillion dates this year already... and online dating has prevented me from wasting (more) money on women I have nothing in common with nor will end up bumping uglies with at the end of the evening. It's pretty much the best plan ever.

It's a win-win and you can't beat the price of sites like OkCupid or PlentyOfFish. They're friggin' free.
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Old 07-12-2009, 08:10 PM   #13 (permalink)
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yeah cromps normal except for the assassin job. bein a merc for hire is tough dont judge mehim
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Old 07-12-2009, 08:41 PM   #14 (permalink)
part of the problem
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PonyPotato View Post
I went on three dates with a guy my friends assumed was my "gay friend" at a party.

I went on a few single dates with guys in Columbus. Didn't get along well.

Dated one guy (Crompsin) for a year after meeting on OKCupid.

Went on a date in late January with a guy I met on OKCupid. Nice date, disrespectful ending.

Going on a date on Tuesday with a guy I met on OKCupid/Match. I'm excited about it.

I have also made a few friends from OKC.
so OK cupid seems to work (relatively)?
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Old 07-12-2009, 08:46 PM   #15 (permalink)
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You know what works?

Effort. Lots of effort.

And plenty of fail.

/wipes fail off shirt
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Old 07-12-2009, 09:18 PM   #16 (permalink)
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For the past 12 years or so, the only men I've been involved with romantically have been from the interwebz. Otherwise and unfortunately, I'm rather unapproachable. I'm very cold and sarcastic whenever a man attempts to chat with me and my facial expressions show this - not to mention that chill in the air. This is thanks to the trust issues my father and brother have embedded in me lol. Not to mention the plethora of bastards that have tarnished my soul. However I am working on this!

So yeah, thumbs up to internet dating! Two even! I'm able to interview potential dates and let them get to know me-me instead of the bitch-me.
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Old 07-12-2009, 09:23 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
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yeah cromps normal except for the assassin job. bein a merc for hire is tough dont judge mehim
Brodawg, please don't drink and post. Especially about me.

YOU DON'T KNOW. YOU WEREN'T THERE.

I HAD ATHLETES' FOOT LIKE WHOA. IT WAS AWFUL.
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Old 07-12-2009, 10:34 PM   #18 (permalink)
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ok, so just to see what happens, i made two profiles on ok cupid. one is a regular nice guy, one is just straight horny sex fiend. i wanna see which one, if either, gets any hits.
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Old 07-12-2009, 10:37 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Oh, Jesus Christ... grow up, bro. You're too well-traveled and educated to be playing teenager-on-MySpace games.

The kind of girl that'll be attracted to the Douche Squeeb is not the kinda girl you wanna get near... even for the badger dance.

Just be honest in your profile. Show creativity, and post some pictures that showcase you in different settings / activities.

I'd offer to show you my profile for a lame attempt at Protips, but that seems like a way too personal gesture.
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Old 07-13-2009, 09:50 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaniFaye View Post
The one and only person I ever dated from meeting online married me

We'll be together 6 years in September and married 4 in October...so I have to say I have a 100% success rate for dating online ahahahaha
What she said (although in my case it is together since April '04, married since Feb '06).
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Old 07-13-2009, 11:32 AM   #21 (permalink)
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I've been on OKC for about seven months now with zero success. I've essentially given up on it. My friend met his current girlfriend through OKC so I thought I'd give it a shot. I guess it just takes a certain kind of person to find success with online dating :-(
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Old 07-13-2009, 11:59 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by highdro69 View Post
I've been on OKC for about seven months now with zero success. I've essentially given up on it. My friend met his current girlfriend through OKC so I thought I'd give it a shot. I guess it just takes a certain kind of person to find success with online dating :-(
I bet I could totally unfuck your profile.
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Old 07-13-2009, 01:10 PM   #23 (permalink)
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imo it's a numbers game regardless of whether you met online or irl. i think there's plusses and minuses of both. on one hand, you can learn a lot of things from a profile and evaluate your compatibility with those traits from online compared to just meeting girls, but on the other hand a lot of people exploit the anonymity of the internet and you have to wade through the bs of people who misrepresent themselves.

i'd say if you just establish a zero tolerance policy when it comes to looking like your pic and not disappointing someone when you meet up and then just keep aware of the degree of chemistry happening, you'll do fine with online dating.

chemistry and fireworks are rare enough to get either way though, so just keep up till you get what you want. and no, it's not wrong to NOT settle. settling would be a disservice and possible hurt someone you're with down the line.
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Old 07-13-2009, 01:53 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Cromps, I have to know, in detail, how the hell you manage with the online dating scene. I mean, it's the internet and everyone knows there are no women on the internet. Secondly, every girl has been hit on 85,347 times before I come along and thirdly, there are no women on the internet. The fourth thing is if you are on the internet you are creepy internet stalker steve. So, how exactly does anyone win with internet dating?
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Old 07-13-2009, 03:17 PM   #25 (permalink)
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How do I manage? Lemme tell ya how I manage:

- Quantity. There are a zillion women on the Internet and they're there for the same reason guys are: to cut the bullshit. They're bored with the bar scene, they're tired of their friends hooking them up with bipedal fail, etc. They hop on a dating site and post a profile because they're interesting in meeting a guy quicker and with less work. They wanna get as much exposure and browse as much as you do. They get 20 messages a day, you get maybe 1.

- Multitasking. Basically talking to half a dozen different girls at once. It's lame, but I copy and paste my MS Word life story blurbs into the emails, editing them so they fit. That way I don't feel like I'm a broken record with a QWERTY output. After a few canned starters, conversations tend to go every which way... but usually end up on sex after 2 AM (it's a law of internet dating sites, I swear). Point is: you figure out if you can even talk to the person.

- I'm polite. Sure, they may have been hit on before by every thumb-dicked wonder out there, but that's okay: you're not the next idiot, you're Johnny New-'n-Amazing, showing up with good grammar, punctuation, and instead of asking her about her cup size, you're inquiring about things that matter: musical taste, what grosses her out, political leanings, how does she feel about credit cards, what kinda car does she want in the future, childhood antics, are her friends all married, what is her relationship with her parents, etc. It's like a psych eval, credit check, and job interview all in one. People, women especially, love to talk and they'll pretty much tell ya whatever ya wanna know as long as you make it interesting. Make it about them and watch the floodgates open. The anonymous and sterile format makes convo real easy.

I win with online dating because I can talk to four different actually-interested-in-dating girls at once without spending a dime. I can arrange dates during the week and the weekend, which maximizes my chances of meeting a good girlfriend / rockin' bed buddy / somebody who doesn't sit in a sink, etc.

I'm tellin' ya, it's easy as hell and has been pretty successful for me in terms of effort in -> results out. I've gone out on well over a dozen dates and met a lot of different and/or interesting girls. Real life date one was like date three by the time we actually met. This gets you to the make-outs far sooner.

...

Online dating works well for me because I'm an idiot and any idiot can do it. I'm also impatient and cynical, two things that online dating caters to well.

Here's the magical system: Get a profile on a free site. Make it interesting with genuine comments and good pictures of yourself doing things. Browse girls that catch your eye. Read their profiles. Comment on things in their profile instead of their vain bikini-in-the-mirror pic. Wash, rinse, get STD test.

Put some effort into it... and stop dragging home swamp donkeys at last call, ya needy bastard.
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Old 07-13-2009, 05:43 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Every relationship is going to fail until one doesn't. Think about every dimension of personality and how many things are either outright dealbreakers or will annoy the shit out of a partner to the point of breaking up in the end. Persistence is the only way you're going to find something that lasts.

And as always, remember the cardinal rule of online dating: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
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Old 07-13-2009, 06:48 PM   #27 (permalink)
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It's the same goods wherever you go, bro.

There is no such species as "intarweb dater."
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Old 07-13-2009, 11:43 PM   #28 (permalink)
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haha, well said Crompsin

I think you have me convinced
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Old 07-14-2009, 05:23 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Location: Ohio!
I had a VERY successful date with someone I met on OKCupid last night (it got moved up a day).

Today I'm hurting.. but that's because going to sleep at 3:45 and getting up again at 6 is not a very good idea. Ouch.
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Old 07-19-2009, 10:54 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Location: Calgary, AB
I met my boyfriend six years ago online- just a random yahoo chat room, and after a LDR, he moved here.

Joeyaz-My best friend is in your same situation... trying online dating cause at 26, its just hard as hell to meet people other then at a bar. She is also finding difficulty with the chemistry thing. Like that person looks totally great on paper, but during the day, something is just missing. I will tell you what I told her- you cant fake it if its not there. Dont settle for a girl who looks good on paper, or who maybe just looks good. You deserve the excitement and energy of a relationship with real chemistry!
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Old 07-19-2009, 11:00 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Anybody else want their online dating profile cleaned up?

I've had a few PMs so far. First 10 customers get a Snuggie.
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Old 07-19-2009, 11:09 PM   #32 (permalink)
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^^ I just signed up for OKC. I want the courage to now upload a photo and create a profile. According to OKC's questions I have a great personality. But I hardly think I'll go through with it because I live in the city and I like the anonymity the keyboard provides.
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Old 07-19-2009, 11:25 PM   #33 (permalink)
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I'd recommend nerfing your location. Make it the closest large city instead of your actual zip code.
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Old 07-20-2009, 04:55 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Location: New York City
Crompsin, I enjoyed reading your post.

I too have tried online to no avail. I'm not saying I'm the most handsome guy out there, but it seems the only people that ever contact me are way unattractive. There has to be a little bit there.

Likewise, I put a lot of thought into my messages, but seldom get responses to them. I'm sure my profile can use a revamp and I could probably use a better pic, but those alone can cause me to bat 0 can it?

Crompsin, I'm msg'ing you if you don't mind.
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Old 07-20-2009, 04:56 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Picture means everything: it's your first impression.

PM? Go for it. I'm getting good at this. I can help.
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Old 07-20-2009, 05:09 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Location: ....a state of pure inebriation.
Crompsin: Internet dating guru...

Who knew?
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Old 07-20-2009, 05:13 PM   #37 (permalink)
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I should be... I've spent enough gawwdamn time on said sites looking for companionship.

I'm like a dating site plumber... er, mercenary. I go in and get the job done.
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Old 07-20-2009, 05:44 PM   #38 (permalink)
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I've met 4 or 5 women through online dating in the last few years. So far they've all been a bit too crazy for my liking. Except one, but she dumped me, go figure (I'm used to doing the dumping).
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Old 07-21-2009, 05:11 AM   #39 (permalink)
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Location: Virginia
I don't post very often... obviously... but besides the point

I've had 4 online relationships. The first three ended without any problems. I don't know where those are these days but my life tends to get out of hand and I loose track of things.

Now, my 4th. That's a whole different story. Some people would say "oh this is a rebound". Prior to meeting him, I had a complete breakdown and spent a bit in the hospital. Came home, swore I'd never bother with a guy again. I was tired of being used and a door mat for the ones that I dated in the area. I was a EverQuest 2 addict til recently. We met there had kinda know each other for the 6 or so months prior but never talked.

A close friend told him I had been through a rough time and he turned and offer support. That was Feb 07. By April that same year he moved from Minnesota to Virginia. Both of us in a panic of how things were going to turn out, it was one of the old sayings. Love at first sight.

We've been together since. Will we get married? Hopefully. Too many what I call disasters keep happening with my life and can't get around to that part. But, we are in no hurry. We're together, we're happy, and we'll be able to get that little piece of paper saying we're married one day.
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Old 07-21-2009, 11:52 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
So Cromp reviewed my OKC profile and pointed out a bajillion things I was doing wrong to get a chick to go out with me via my internet resume. I spent a few days giving all his very good suggestions heartfelt analogy. Then it hit me: I have to play games and pretend and twist the truth online just as much as I do in real life?! FUCK MAN! What's wrong with women, seriously, that I can't be honest about myself and be honest in what I'm looking for to get them to date me. Getting laid is one thing, dumb girls are easily manipulated, but who wants to DATE dumb girls? But I joined the site with the hopes of forgoing all the stupid games and meeting a girl, a good girl, a nerdy well spoken intelligent girl who I could be myself with from the very start (Guys, you know how it is, you turn up the suave and charm and leave out large chunks of your personality until you get them in the sack, then for some reason you can be yourself and the girl is still cool with you). But that apparently isn't going to happen with this online dating foray.
So maybe I should start another thread asking why women were so dead set on killing chivalry?
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