where do you meet girls? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

squeeeb · 07-09-2009, 11:40 AM

other than bars, i go to a bar to listen to music and get drunk, bar chicks are flaky and usually diseased (at the bars i prefer to go to), so i don't bother with that.

i've briefly tried online dating, that was complete waste of time.

other than that, where do you meet girls? at work? not where i work, and dating where you work isn't that cool.

people say "join a club and do group things" but there aren't any clubs or group things where i am.

perhaps i just need to move to a bigger city?

where the hell do you meet chicks??????

lostgirl · 07-09-2009, 11:46 AM

Get a dog and go to the park. I have heard it works for a lot of guys. I met my SO at a footrace in San Francisco.

IdeoFunk · 07-09-2009, 12:00 PM

Bars are usually a pretty good source of ladies, although it definitely helps to have a good set of friends if you want to make any headway. That's where I've picked up the last few of the girls I've dated in recent history.

Online dating has never really worked for me, although I've only ever pursued it haphazardly.

I do agree with the whole group, school, dog park suggestions though. All those situations tend to put you on favourable ground in the eyes of the enemy so it seems. Where do you live that there's no clubs? I can't say how much I loathe the shithole hick town I was raised in but it definitely helps to be somewhere that offers an abundance of novelties. I'm planning on joining up with some charity organization sometime soon and perhaps even a political party... (I'm thinking Green Party will have best offering of chicks haha just kidding)

FuglyStick · 07-09-2009, 12:06 PM

I lurk in message boards

Hektore · 07-09-2009, 12:35 PM

Common area's of libraries, walking down the street (you need to be careful about this one), the mall on occasion - basically wherever groups of people are. The only thing you have to watch out for is the 'old bar routine' (not that you use it) doesn't work in those sorts of places.

Zeraph · 07-09-2009, 01:02 PM

I'm with you squeeb. I don't know why everyone quotes bars as so great, I live in a huge city and bars suck for meeting women. Unless you live in a college city that is...

Online dating sucks.

Other than that its pretty much stores (grocery, book, music, game, etc) or meeting people through friends.

DaniGirl · 07-09-2009, 01:08 PM

Myspace ha ha

It works for POA

Martian · 07-09-2009, 01:12 PM

Unhelpful answer: Everywhere.

The question is not where to meet girls. I'm assuming that if you live on the same planet as I do that you meet girls all the time. There's more than 3 billion of them here, after all.

The question, then, is really how to approach girls. How to talk to girls. How to signal interest to girls and how to hopefully have that interest reciprocated and lead to a mutually satisfying relationship.

Step one is to talk to them. If you see a pretty girl, say hi. Ask a question. Make a joke. And then introduce yourself.

That's usually the biggest hurdle, I think. But then again I don't really have this problem.

Perhaps Crompsin or thespian86 can provide further advice here. They're both more recently single than I.

Strange Famous · 07-09-2009, 01:15 PM

Ive met everyone I ever dated through school or friends (or work)

I probably wouldnt have the guys to just walk up to a random girl in a bar and try and chat her up, but I suppose some people do and it must work some of the time

lostgirl · 07-09-2009, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martian

Unhelpful answer: Everywhere.

The question is not where to meet girls. I'm assuming that if you live on the same planet as I do that you meet girls all the time. There's more than 3 billion of them here, after all.

The question, then, is really how to approach girls. How to talk to girls. How to signal interest to girls and how to hopefully have that interest reciprocated and lead to a mutually satisfying relationship.

Step one is to talk to them. If you see a pretty girl, say hi. Ask a question. Make a joke. And then introduce yourself.

That's usually the biggest hurdle, I think. But then again I don't really have this problem.

Perhaps Crompsin or thespian86 can provide further advice here. They're both more recently single than I.

QFT

squeeeb · 07-09-2009, 01:26 PM

seems every decent female i meet is taken. it appears the only single females i meet are insane (literally, we have a lot of insanity around here) or old and bitter and hate men.

thespian86 · 07-09-2009, 01:36 PM

Through other people.

I know this is my stock answer but I'll expand this time:

The best way to meet girls is through other people. The likelihood that you'll randomly bump into someone and 2 hours later be having the conversation of a lifetime is pretty slim. So I'd suggest a different approach. And I know no one will listen to me but you should. Because, bluntly, I have lots and lots of sex. With attractive girls. And I'm not particularly attractive. Here we go:

Things happen from the ground up, or in other words, you can't start at the top. People are usually stuck because they are lacking as a well-rounded human being. I would argue that many men and women work on perfecting a single issue in hopes of that being enough ('once I lose all this weight...', 'i'll buy a new wardrobe and then', 'i'll join a shit load of clubs and meet a shit load of ladies...'). It's unnatural. And like anything in life that you try to force, you'll ultimately fail in one way or another. People don't realize this but this backward approach to your personal life (ie: living for others) is THE PYRAMID SCHEME OF LIFE.

So. Do shit you like. Not shit you should like, but stuff that makes you genuinely content. Go to bars that have music you dig, not girls you dig. Go to places with things you love. Make it a conscious effort to further yourself. I know, it won't get you laid right away or married instantly (which ever you are hoping for in the end). But it will lead to great rewards. like the following:

- You'll like yourself.
- You'll like your life.
- You'll meet people who like the life you lead too, because they are leading a similar one.
- You won't be in situations where you fear being caught or outed.
- No need for dishonesty or games.
- etc.

I know that sounds like a lot of hard work which you don't want to do because you're lazy. But guys and gals, life is tough. And to get the best things, you need to put in the hard work. Want a model, then earn it. Want a wife who's a lawyer and cooks, earn it. Be someone worthy of them, and they can be someone worthy of you.

To end this rant I'll answer the question again and say "through friends". But I think the issue runs deeper then that.

For the record: This isn't directed at you Squeeeb but the general public that has the same problems you are citing here. And every single one of these conversations ends with this message being ignored. Someone have faith in being a human being please. It's driving me fucking insane. Seriously.

SabrinaFair · 07-09-2009, 01:40 PM

I've been wondering the same thing, only in reverse--how to meet dudes. Bar scene is lame, and usually is populated by people hoping to get drunk enough to make some bad decisions. Online scene much like bargain-store shopping--you might find something decent, but it's not worth it to rifle through all the crap that you don't want.

So, nothing to say other than I sympathize, and I hope someone posts the magic answer on here. :-)

Bear Cub · 07-09-2009, 02:56 PM

Beneath my fist is usually a good place to look.

Martian · 07-09-2009, 03:01 PM

I was going to make the same point that thespian86 made. Focus on yourself, etc. I had a good reason for not doing so, regardless of the fact that I don't recall exactly what it is. Regardless, this is also correct. Being a whole person is important.

squeeeb, based on what I've seen of you in your blog and elsewhere, I wonder about this. You've claimed that you have no goals, and that you spend most of your time essentially floating. Perhaps it's time to find some new goals. Learn a new craft, pick up an instrument. Find something to be passionate about. You seem to have a fair bit of free time (I also seem to recall that you only work 2-3 days per week), so use that time productively to make you a better you. Having something to be deeply passionate over makes you a more interesting person, which means that when you do meet that right person you'll be more attractive.

I have met girls by approaching them randomly. The key is that when I approach a girl randomly, it's usually because she's doing something interesting and I'm curious to know more about it. I don't do it because I want a relationship, but rather because she seems like an interesting person and I want to know more about her.

I met Magpie through work, though, and this is my most successful relationship by far.

genuinegirly · 07-09-2009, 07:34 PM

I'm a woman. If I want to meet other women to find friends, all I need to do is look around me - they're everywhere. I attend a community art class like drawing or oil painting - there they are. I go for a hike on the weekend, or a walk around the formal gardens with a friend and they're everywhere. You see several who show up for daily mass, and even more that attend lectures given by visiting professors. In the public library they're checking out the books by Mercedes Lackey, or they're leading a storytime for children. They meet every Tuesday afternoon at a local cafe for a book club. They're bartenders, baristas, cashiers, servers and receptionists - all highly visual positions.

I have no idea where you live, but there must be women someplace. You're just running in male-dominated circles.

I seem to recall you have a teenage daughter? Perhaps you live close enough to her to do some sort of community activity on the weekends or in the evenings with her. Something like a sculpture class or a book club? You're certain to be dragged into a female-dominated environment with a female along for the fun. Not sure how comfortable you would be flirting with a woman when your daughter is in sight, but it's worth a shot for developing female friendships through which you could meet other women.

thespian86 · 07-09-2009, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by genuinegirly

They're bartenders, baristas, cashiers, servers and receptionists - all highly visual positions.

I liked everything you had to say GG [what's new] but I wondered about this sentence.

All of these girls are hit on profusely by every jackass from here to eternity. Just a point of discussion. I think being accosted constantly by the opposite sex kind of makes you apathetic to said advances.

Punk.of.Ages · 07-09-2009, 08:10 PM

Dude, I meet girls everywhere. You're right, bars and parties aren't good to meet your potential wife, but, fucking eh, they're great places to meet the type of girl who doesn't give a shit what your name is.

The last girl I dated, I met online. The girl before that, I met through a friend. The girl before that, I met at work. Anywhere, dude. I've picked up chicks riding by on their bicycle. Like Martian pointed out, you just have to approach them. Be confident, get used to rejection, and don't try so hard. They come.

LordEden · 07-10-2009, 05:04 AM

I'm in a similar boat squeeeb, but just slightly different. I meet girls, I talk to them and make them laugh, but then I puss out and never call them. Everything Martian and thespian86 is the truth, it's not them (or our environment we are in), it's us. I meet girls, if I'm in a decent mood or just on point, I talk to them and get them to laugh. That right there is a great way to get a number or if you are really good, set something up right there. Even if I get the number, I get home and lose all confidence then never call them. I think "Oh she was just being nice" "I bet the number is fake" "I bet she has a penis" and never call her. Even in hick towns there are pockets of intelligent girls who don't have men because they can count past ten without taking their shoes off.

I say this once more, POA I don't mean to bash you at ALL (I like ya man), but guys like him give me hope. POA is a cool dude (judging by his posts) but is not attractive by our over exaggerated GQ, underwear modeling, shaved chest, popped collar, pedicure having, metrosexual image of what is hot. He does meet women, unless he is lying through his teeth, and has girlfriends. If POA can be punk in SLC and meet girls, you can meet them anywhere. I learned long ago you don't have to be hot looking to get girls, you just have to believe in yourself and others will flock to you.

/endslightrant

Back to the OP; Charities, Churches (if you are into that), Animal Shelters, Community College. Go do Habitat for Humanity. Go to church. Go to random animal clinics/shelters and volunteer. The best thing is to take on class that interests you at the local community college. Everyone there is over 18, wanting to further their education and sometimes single. Take one class so that you are allowed to be on campus then walk around the school and strike up conversations with girls. "What class are you reading that for?" "Do you need some help with that?" "The answer is 42"; all of these work. College is the best place to meet 18-24 year old girls.

The_Jazz · 07-10-2009, 05:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Punk.of.Ages

You're right, bars and parties aren't good to meet your potential wife,

Really? My wife is going to be surprised when I get home tonight and tell her that we couldn't have met at a party....

Seriously, of the 4 long-term relationships in my life (including the one I married), I met 2 of them in bars, one through a friend and one at a party. When I met my wife, I was there as the date/escort for a friend at a fundraiser for a charitable organization. My future wife was sitting at the table next to ours.

Nice people do go to bars and parties. The problem is that nice people sometimes have one-night stands with folks that aren't compatible for long-term relationships. The times that I met the women who became "long-time companions", I had no intention of taking anyone home - and I didn't that night. But they were interesting enough to call a few days later. For me, it was more about my mindset than anything else.

Punk.of.Ages · 07-10-2009, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordEden

I say this once more, POA I don't mean to bash you at ALL (I like ya man), but guys like him give me hope. POA is a cool dude (judging by his posts) but is not attractive by our over exaggerated GQ, underwear modeling, shaved chest, popped collar, pedicure having, metrosexual image of what is hot. He does meet women, unless he is lying through his teeth, and has girlfriends. If POA can be punk in SLC and meet girls, you can meet them anywhere. I learned long ago you don't have to be hot looking to get girls, you just have to believe in yourself and others will flock to you.

You know, Eden, every time you say you're not trying to bash me, you end up complimenting me...

"No offense, man, but you give me hope in life!"

Yeah, I know I'm not the best looking guy out there, but, as I've said a million times before, it's all about the charm, and I've got a shitload of that. Looks will only get you so far, but if you can sweep a girl off her feet, she's yours. At least, for a bit.

...and, for the record, I pop my collar constantly!
****************************************************

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

Really? My wife is going to be surprised when I get home tonight and tell her that we couldn't have met at a party....

I didn't say it can't happen, just that bars and parties aren't usually the best place to find somebody will get serious with you.

Quote:

I had no intention of taking anyone home - and I didn't that night. But they were interesting enough to call a few days later.

I think that's probably the key to success as far as the bar and party scene go.
******************************************************

LordEden · 07-10-2009, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Punk.of.Ages

Yeah, I know I'm not the best looking guy out there, but, as I've said a million times before, it's all about the charm, and I've got a shitload of that. Looks will only get you so far, but if you can sweep a girl off her feet, she's yours. At least, for a bit.

Is part of that charm pissing off DaniGirl's girl deck when you are drunk?

I seriously have a friend just like you. He's not punk, but he's Italian, which is just as bad (I Kid, I Kid). He admits that he is "... one ugly, long haired wop" but bangs the HOTTEST girls. His girlfriend now is smoking hot for being a hippy and he is a total dick. He's just so confident in himself that girls just LIKE him. Girls throw themselves on him all the time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Punk.of.Ages

...and, for the record, I pop my collar constantly!

.... and now you are dead to me. If I saw you with a mohawk, gauged ears and a popped collar I would punch you in the face and not stop till you looked like Jared Leto after a round with Tyler. Popped collars have to be the worse idea frat boys came up with. Except for the two polo shirt combo with one popped collar and the other down.

Punk.of.Ages · 07-10-2009, 10:54 AM

Dude, dude, I'm not channeling the douchey frat boy vibe when I pop my collar. I'm channeling The Fonz and all his coolness when I have the collar on my leather pointed at the sky...

LordEden · 07-10-2009, 11:33 AM

Leather collar popping is totally different from polo collar popping. Specify next time.

... I sometimes pop the collar on the duster I have.

telekinetic · 07-10-2009, 11:36 AM

Long term relationships:
1) Older sister of a younger boy scout
2) Met at many parties
3) Ex of friend (d'oh)
4) Met at party of car club people
5) Coworker
6 and married) Met at school

Flings:
1-3) Misc. Females associated with said car club
4) Stripper I met while she was working
5-7) Met at parties
8-9) Coworker and coworker's friend (nonsimultaneous, sigh)

The common thread is that in all but one completely anomalous case (fling 4), they were either already friends/coworkers/fellow students, or friends of friends, at the time of the romancing. It's just easier that way.

thespian86 · 07-10-2009, 03:54 PM

Do you guys want to get a room or something?

Shell · 07-10-2009, 06:57 PM

...where to meet girls? It depends on what type of girl you are looking for. Write down what type of girl you want. Then think like her for a minute.

...if you want one that is athletic then join the local ski club, or tennis club, hiking club, or gym, or sign up for yoga classes, or aerobics, etc etc

...if you want one that's sexy take salsa lessons, or go into Victoria Secret "shopping" for a gift for your "girlfriend" and you need lots of advice and help making your selection, or to Bath & Body Works.

...if you want one that's very caring then volunteer for a worthy cause and become part of a large team of helpers, or volunteer at the hospital and meet lots of nurses.

...if you want one that's wild and loose then go to a beach resort area like South Beach in Miami or Las Vegas or a ski resort

...i could go on and on but you get the idea. Go to meetup.com for a list of local groups and activities in your area.

...the way i met my late husband was when he noticed me driving my car with a bumper sticker that said "Think Snow". He followed me and when i stopped he asked me where i ski. I had just joined the Ski Club in Washington DC so we got into a long conversation about that....think of ways to start a conversation without it looking insincere.

noodle · 07-10-2009, 07:03 PM

i usually meet most girls in the bathroom at some point.
it's one of those, "Hey" moments and I never see them again.
Okay, bad joke.
when you stop trying to find them, they will find you... in the oddest places.

FelixP · 07-10-2009, 11:14 PM

I used to volunteer at a cat shelter. Not quite the ass farm I thought it would be.

DaniGirl · 07-10-2009, 11:24 PM

women are EVERYWHERE. There are more women then men out there. Good luck!!!

joeyaz · 07-11-2009, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noodle

i usually meet most girls in the bathroom at some point.
it's one of those, "Hey" moments and I never see them again.
Okay, bad joke.
when you stop trying to find them, they will find you... in the oddest places.

I'm trying to believe in that last sentence.. in fact I looked back at some of my old post from a few years ago and I found I said basically the same thing and when I think about some of the relationships I've been in .. in fact all of the important ones have occurred this way.

The last one which I'm trying to get over was sorta like this I was in the dumps and got a random message from a girl in Texas on myspace.. "Hi" that lead to an amazing LDR that was totally unexpected and I couldn't have dreamed something like that would happen to me. At that time I wasn't looking for anything I was just trying to live my life. It was a blazing relationship that burned out rather quickly but it was still something that I wasn't looking for.

Okay sorry for that back to the topic,

I have trouble meeting women .. I'm just not the outgoing type who goes up to women in public places. I should try it more though.. I don't go out often and when I do I'm usually with friends who are involved so I'm flying solo and being kinda shy in the those situations doesn't lead to much success with women. I don't think I'm bad looking and I'm funny and can keep a conversation going Its just that ... well I don't know hell maybe I'm none of those things and I'm fooling myself lol...I work with all males mostly so low chances to meet a woman there. When I did though I could of had success I just was involved with someone at that time so I didnt allow it to happen. Most of the women I have been involved with I have met through someone or something random like the myspace thing, or a girl at the physical therapy office, or my best friends sister (doh) or my moms boyfriends daughter .. (double doh)

The only place I can say I am around lots of women is the gym and that is hard for me to go up to someone and just start talking I feel they are there to workout and not get hit on.

Theres some good advice in this thread, I'm going to have to use it for inspiration, the way I look at it is im going to have to try a bit more but not too hard. I shouldn't base my happiness on if I'm meeting women but I should try to live a fulfilling life and if it happens it will be good but if not happening today that wilil be fine also.

IdeoFunk · 07-12-2009, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FelixP

I used to volunteer at a cat shelter. Not quite the ass farm I thought it would be.

haha, that's hilarious.

Plan9 · 07-12-2009, 08:06 PM

Online dating is totally where it's at, dudes. It's a total bullshit filter for Type A people.

07-09-2009, 11:40 AM	#1 (permalink)
squeeeb part of the problem Location: hic et ubique	where do you meet girls? other than bars, i go to a bar to listen to music and get drunk, bar chicks are flaky and usually diseased (at the bars i prefer to go to), so i don't bother with that. i've briefly tried online dating, that was complete waste of time. other than that, where do you meet girls? at work? not where i work, and dating where you work isn't that cool. people say "join a club and do group things" but there aren't any clubs or group things where i am. perhaps i just need to move to a bigger city? where the hell do you meet chicks?????? __________________ onward to mayhem!

07-09-2009, 11:46 AM	#2 (permalink)
lostgirl lightform Location: Edge of the deep green sea	Get a dog and go to the park. I have heard it works for a lot of guys. I met my SO at a footrace in San Francisco. __________________ We're about to go through the crucible, but we'll come out the other side. We always arise from our own ashes. Everything returns later in its changed form. - Children of Dune

07-09-2009, 12:06 PM	#4 (permalink)
FuglyStick WHEEEE! Whee! Whee! WHEEEE! Location: Southern Illinois	I lurk in message boards __________________ AZIZ! LIGHT!

07-09-2009, 12:35 PM	#5 (permalink)
Hektore Junkie Location: Greater Harrisburg Area	Common area's of libraries, walking down the street (you need to be careful about this one), the mall on occasion - basically wherever groups of people are. The only thing you have to watch out for is the 'old bar routine' (not that you use it) doesn't work in those sorts of places. __________________ The advantage law is the best law in rugby, because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game.

07-09-2009, 01:12 PM	#8 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	Unhelpful answer: Everywhere. The question is not where to meet girls. I'm assuming that if you live on the same planet as I do that you meet girls all the time. There's more than 3 billion of them here, after all. The question, then, is really how to approach girls. How to talk to girls. How to signal interest to girls and how to hopefully have that interest reciprocated and lead to a mutually satisfying relationship. Step one is to talk to them. If you see a pretty girl, say hi. Ask a question. Make a joke. And then introduce yourself. That's usually the biggest hurdle, I think. But then again I don't really have this problem. Perhaps Crompsin or thespian86 can provide further advice here. They're both more recently single than I. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

07-09-2009, 12:00 PM	#3 (permalink)
IdeoFunk Crazy Location: to	Bars are usually a pretty good source of ladies, although it definitely helps to have a good set of friends if you want to make any headway. That's where I've picked up the last few of the girls I've dated in recent history. Online dating has never really worked for me, although I've only ever pursued it haphazardly. I do agree with the whole group, school, dog park suggestions though. All those situations tend to put you on favourable ground in the eyes of the enemy so it seems. Where do you live that there's no clubs? I can't say how much I loathe the shithole hick town I was raised in but it definitely helps to be somewhere that offers an abundance of novelties. I'm planning on joining up with some charity organization sometime soon and perhaps even a political party... (I'm thinking Green Party will have best offering of chicks haha just kidding)

07-09-2009, 01:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
Zeraph Banned Location: The Cosmos	I'm with you squeeb. I don't know why everyone quotes bars as so great, I live in a huge city and bars suck for meeting women. Unless you live in a college city that is... Online dating sucks. Other than that its pretty much stores (grocery, book, music, game, etc) or meeting people through friends.

07-09-2009, 01:08 PM	#7 (permalink)
DaniGirl Addict Location: Fucking Utah...	Myspace ha ha It works for POA

07-09-2009, 01:15 PM	#9 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	Ive met everyone I ever dated through school or friends (or work) I probably wouldnt have the guys to just walk up to a random girl in a bar and try and chat her up, but I suppose some people do and it must work some of the time __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

07-09-2009, 01:26 PM	#11 (permalink)
squeeeb part of the problem Location: hic et ubique	seems every decent female i meet is taken. it appears the only single females i meet are insane (literally, we have a lot of insanity around here) or old and bitter and hate men. __________________ onward to mayhem!

07-09-2009, 01:36 PM	#12 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	Through other people. I know this is my stock answer but I'll expand this time: The best way to meet girls is through other people. The likelihood that you'll randomly bump into someone and 2 hours later be having the conversation of a lifetime is pretty slim. So I'd suggest a different approach. And I know no one will listen to me but you should. Because, bluntly, I have lots and lots of sex. With attractive girls. And I'm not particularly attractive. Here we go: Things happen from the ground up, or in other words, you can't start at the top. People are usually stuck because they are lacking as a well-rounded human being. I would argue that many men and women work on perfecting a single issue in hopes of that being enough ('once I lose all this weight...', 'i'll buy a new wardrobe and then', 'i'll join a shit load of clubs and meet a shit load of ladies...'). It's unnatural. And like anything in life that you try to force, you'll ultimately fail in one way or another. People don't realize this but this backward approach to your personal life (ie: living for others) is THE PYRAMID SCHEME OF LIFE. So. Do shit you like. Not shit you should like, but stuff that makes you genuinely content. Go to bars that have music you dig, not girls you dig. Go to places with things you love. Make it a conscious effort to further yourself. I know, it won't get you laid right away or married instantly (which ever you are hoping for in the end). But it will lead to great rewards. like the following: - You'll like yourself. - You'll like your life. - You'll meet people who like the life you lead too, because they are leading a similar one. - You won't be in situations where you fear being caught or outed. - No need for dishonesty or games. - etc. I know that sounds like a lot of hard work which you don't want to do because you're lazy. But guys and gals, life is tough. And to get the best things, you need to put in the hard work. Want a model, then earn it. Want a wife who's a lawyer and cooks, earn it. Be someone worthy of them, and they can be someone worthy of you. To end this rant I'll answer the question again and say "through friends". But I think the issue runs deeper then that. For the record: This isn't directed at you Squeeeb but the general public that has the same problems you are citing here. And every single one of these conversations ends with this message being ignored. Someone have faith in being a human being please. It's driving me fucking insane. Seriously. __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

07-09-2009, 01:40 PM	#13 (permalink)
SabrinaFair Junkie Location: Louisville, KY	I've been wondering the same thing, only in reverse--how to meet dudes. Bar scene is lame, and usually is populated by people hoping to get drunk enough to make some bad decisions. Online scene much like bargain-store shopping--you might find something decent, but it's not worth it to rifle through all the crap that you don't want. So, nothing to say other than I sympathize, and I hope someone posts the magic answer on here. :-) __________________ "With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." -Desiderata

07-09-2009, 02:56 PM	#14 (permalink)
Bear Cub The Reverend Side Boob Location: Nofe Curolina	Beneath my fist is usually a good place to look. __________________ Living in the United Socialist States of America.

07-09-2009, 03:01 PM	#15 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	I was going to make the same point that thespian86 made. Focus on yourself, etc. I had a good reason for not doing so, regardless of the fact that I don't recall exactly what it is. Regardless, this is also correct. Being a whole person is important. squeeeb, based on what I've seen of you in your blog and elsewhere, I wonder about this. You've claimed that you have no goals, and that you spend most of your time essentially floating. Perhaps it's time to find some new goals. Learn a new craft, pick up an instrument. Find something to be passionate about. You seem to have a fair bit of free time (I also seem to recall that you only work 2-3 days per week), so use that time productively to make you a better you. Having something to be deeply passionate over makes you a more interesting person, which means that when you do meet that right person you'll be more attractive. I have met girls by approaching them randomly. The key is that when I approach a girl randomly, it's usually because she's doing something interesting and I'm curious to know more about it. I don't do it because I want a relationship, but rather because she seems like an interesting person and I want to know more about her. I met Magpie through work, though, and this is my most successful relationship by far. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

07-09-2009, 07:34 PM	#16 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	I'm a woman. If I want to meet other women to find friends, all I need to do is look around me - they're everywhere. I attend a community art class like drawing or oil painting - there they are. I go for a hike on the weekend, or a walk around the formal gardens with a friend and they're everywhere. You see several who show up for daily mass, and even more that attend lectures given by visiting professors. In the public library they're checking out the books by Mercedes Lackey, or they're leading a storytime for children. They meet every Tuesday afternoon at a local cafe for a book club. They're bartenders, baristas, cashiers, servers and receptionists - all highly visual positions. I have no idea where you live, but there must be women someplace. You're just running in male-dominated circles. I seem to recall you have a teenage daughter? Perhaps you live close enough to her to do some sort of community activity on the weekends or in the evenings with her. Something like a sculpture class or a book club? You're certain to be dragged into a female-dominated environment with a female along for the fun. Not sure how comfortable you would be flirting with a woman when your daughter is in sight, but it's worth a shot for developing female friendships through which you could meet other women. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy Last edited by genuinegirly; 07-09-2009 at 07:41 PM.. Reason: Typos. Sleepy.

07-09-2009, 08:10 PM	#18 (permalink)
Punk.of.Ages Forming Location: ....a state of pure inebriation.	Dude, I meet girls everywhere. You're right, bars and parties aren't good to meet your potential wife, but, fucking eh, they're great places to meet the type of girl who doesn't give a shit what your name is. The last girl I dated, I met online. The girl before that, I met through a friend. The girl before that, I met at work. Anywhere, dude. I've picked up chicks riding by on their bicycle. Like Martian pointed out, you just have to approach them. Be confident, get used to rejection, and don't try so hard. They come. __________________ "The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager "Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

07-10-2009, 10:54 AM	#23 (permalink)
Punk.of.Ages Forming Location: ....a state of pure inebriation.	Dude, dude, I'm not channeling the douchey frat boy vibe when I pop my collar. I'm channeling The Fonz and all his coolness when I have the collar on my leather pointed at the sky... __________________ "The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager "Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

07-10-2009, 11:36 AM	#25 (permalink)
telekinetic zomgomgomgomgomgomg Location: Fauxenix, Azerona	Long term relationships: 1) Older sister of a younger boy scout 2) Met at many parties 3) Ex of friend (d'oh) 4) Met at party of car club people 5) Coworker 6 and married) Met at school Flings: 1-3) Misc. Females associated with said car club 4) Stripper I met while she was working 5-7) Met at parties 8-9) Coworker and coworker's friend (nonsimultaneous, sigh) The common thread is that in all but one completely anomalous case (fling 4), they were either already friends/coworkers/fellow students, or friends of friends, at the time of the romancing. It's just easier that way. __________________ twisted no more Last edited by telekinetic; 07-10-2009 at 11:39 AM..

07-10-2009, 03:54 PM	#26 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	Do you guys want to get a room or something? __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

07-10-2009, 06:57 PM	#27 (permalink)
Shell Cheers Location: Eastcoast USA	...where to meet girls? It depends on what type of girl you are looking for. Write down what type of girl you want. Then think like her for a minute. ...if you want one that is athletic then join the local ski club, or tennis club, hiking club, or gym, or sign up for yoga classes, or aerobics, etc etc ...if you want one that's sexy take salsa lessons, or go into Victoria Secret "shopping" for a gift for your "girlfriend" and you need lots of advice and help making your selection, or to Bath & Body Works. ...if you want one that's very caring then volunteer for a worthy cause and become part of a large team of helpers, or volunteer at the hospital and meet lots of nurses. ...if you want one that's wild and loose then go to a beach resort area like South Beach in Miami or Las Vegas or a ski resort ...i could go on and on but you get the idea. Go to meetup.com for a list of local groups and activities in your area. ...the way i met my late husband was when he noticed me driving my car with a bumper sticker that said "Think Snow". He followed me and when i stopped he asked me where i ski. I had just joined the Ski Club in Washington DC so we got into a long conversation about that....think of ways to start a conversation without it looking insincere. __________________ ..."Say what you think. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" ~ Dr. Seuss

07-10-2009, 11:14 PM	#29 (permalink)
FelixP Insane Location: I'm up they see me I'm down.	I used to volunteer at a cat shelter. Not quite the ass farm I thought it would be. __________________ Free will lies not in the ability to craft your own fate, but in not knowing what your fate is. --Me "I have just returned from visting the Marines at the front, and there is not a finer fighting organization in the world." --Douglas MacArthur

07-10-2009, 11:24 PM	#30 (permalink)
DaniGirl Addict Location: Fucking Utah...	women are EVERYWHERE. There are more women then men out there. Good luck!!!

07-12-2009, 08:06 PM	#33 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Online dating is totally where it's at, dudes. It's a total bullshit filter for Type A people. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."