kramus

Nope. Never. I've fast-talked strangers out of beating friends and relatives a few times. Gotten my idiot ex-brother-in-law out of a couple of pubs after he'd been sucker punched and was ready to get his ass handed to him. Different times I've put my glasses in my shirt pocket and stretched out while sitting, and made sure that if my chair went over I would be in stance. But never actually did the fandango with anybody. btw - when in a pub where it seems like things are a little snaky always take a whiz in a stall with the door latched. Piece of advice given to me from a guy who knows.

There was a bully-boy a bit older and larger than I was when I worked in a kitchen my first job. He was ragging on my so I clapped my hands together loudly in his face to startle him. Misjudged the distance (I don't have depth perception the way most folks do) and caught the end of his nose. Damn but I laughed at him while he wept and clutched at his face. He never ever bugged me again. Actually acted like he wanted to be a buddy, but that was just too stupid. What am I, alpha dog? Go away, fellow. Another guy in high school football the one year I played was being a dick after a game while we were in the change room. I put my hand on his forehead and rammed his head into the wall and told him to shut the fuck up. He shut up.

Anything else was all in fun. Wrestling with the natives while landscaping. Literally - the Native American guys on the crew loved that I had the balls to go for it, and they never ragged me the way they did some of the other skinny white boys on the crew.

I had a couple of years of karate and kung-fu with some thuggish guys who were trained up by a very cool old Japanese sensei. These fellows were street-fighter types who were a little shady, and thought nothing of banging fists/revenge attacks/baseball bat beside the front door - crazy shit like that. I have never used my training in a fight, and that training was 25 years in my past. The simple weights and light jogging I do now wouldn't do nearly the amount of good a few months sweating in a grungy dojo could, but the work outs would probably cripple me

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And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ...
I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

ottopilot

I was on the road in a band for 5 solid years ... it was an unfortunate and sometimes unavoidable cliché ... especially since we always played in the really classy places

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"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo

levite

Nope. I haven't been in a fistfight since, and have almost entirely sworn off using violence for interpersonal quarrels. But nobody gets to spread filth about the Jewish people. I see it, I'll call it, I'll take it out if I have to. You can insult me personally-- ideas, clothing; physical appearance, whatever; you can insult my family's class or economic status; you can insult my house or my State or my country. But the buck stops at my people and my religion. The line is drawn here: that far and no farther.

I'm not talking about smacking every dumbass who says stuff like "jew down the price" or asks me if I'm Jewish, then where are my horns (yes, it has happened more than once). Those folks are just ignorant, and it would indeed be criminal of me to hit them. I'm talking about people spouting serious stuff: the kind of crap that doesn't come out of the mouths of people who haven't read and believed The Protocols of the Elders of Zion and Mein Kampf and other hardcore anti-Semitic material. The ones who are simultaneously Holocaust deniers and advocates of racial cleansing against Jews.

People like that start saying that shit, and they get a good, hard refresher course in the fact that Jews don't lie down and take that kind of abuse. We stand up to those who would try to oppress us, and we beat them down to the ground. There will be no more Hitlers, no Fourth Reich: not if we make it clear to every punk-ass anti-Semite that their big ideas get them nothing but pain and hurt.

I'm a Jew and I'm proud of it and I don't turn the other cheek.

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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

wooÐs

As a child up until I moved out after high school graduation, my brother and I used to beat the fuck out of each other regularly. The police were called before. Overall he was just a pussy and couldn't fight real men so he lit into his younger sister to release his frustrations. And he's a sick fuck on top of it all. We haven't spoken in over a year now, as I came out with some truths my parents weren't aware of about him. They now want nothing to do with him. They had no idea my childhood was so bad with him when the 'rents weren't around. This is why if I ever breed, I want only one child, preferably a girl. We were not and will never be close.

I hope he's leading a miserable life.

Other than that, no other fist fights. I never dug white trash girls.

ItWasMe

Where are all the girls? I feel a bit out of place here.
I'm usually a lover, not a fighter. Probably 99% of the time.

About 20 years ago, a guy at work kept saying something to me, in spanish. I finally asked him what that means. He said, "that means 'kiss me' in spanish." He leaned towards with his lips puckered, making kissy sounds. I might have walked away and notified a supervisor, but I was going through a bad divorce after a very bad marriage from physically not-so-nice husband. This guy physically had me backed into a corner, and I snapped. I swung and popped him in the face. I said, "that means no in english." Creep.

Not sure if you'd consider this a fist fight ... About 23 years ago, my sister was dating this guy who was being mean to her. My other sister and I held our tongues for a while and let her deal with it, until it got out of hand. I'm usually a bit more passive if it's directed at me, but not my little sisters. I grabbed him by the hair and bounced his head off a car window a few times, and informed him he was not to treat my sister like that. He could have probably wiped the floor with me alone, but I think he was worried that there were 3 of us. So he just swore at me and left. And my stupid, stupid sister married him eventually. Jerk.

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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

FlatLand Flyer

I have been in two. First was senior year in highschool and the other was the year after that. Both had alcohol involved and neither were started by me. Without going into details, I will say that I don't like when guys try to start shit with my friends and especially not with any girl. Everybody is really tough until a very hard, straight right smashes into their nose and then become blinded by the water in their eyes.

Like I said, did not start them, but I sure as hell finished them. And I am proud of that.

wooÐs

<-- girl.

ItWasMe

I know. You posted while I was typing. The dog had to go out in the middle of my post, so it took me a while.

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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

Glory's Sun

you should have just punched the dog and made him wait.

snowy

I was a spunky little girl. Seven-year-old snowy didn't take crap from anyone. I always preferred as a youngster to use words, but I wasn't afraid to deck someone if it came to that. So, one day in second grade, I was on my way back from the bathroom when the school bully, Alex, appeared from around the corner. I wasn't afraid, despite the fact that Alex was looking me over as if I were a target. He came forward to physically intimidate me, trying to push me against the wall of the hallway, and I just slugged him, right in the nose.

I ended up in the principal's office, very briefly. I only had to explain that Alex had tried to bully me, and I was let go. My mother apparently received a phone call from the principal (friend of the folks) who laughed and said that I reminded him of his wife at that age.

The next year, I punched a kid in the face because he wouldn't stop harassing me. I followed all the correct procedures before punching him in the face--telling him to stop, telling an adult, etc. But since the playground staff didn't seem interested in keeping him from following me around and saying we were boyfriend/girlfriend over and over and over again, I decked him. Again, principal's office. Again, my mom received a phone call from the principal, who wouldn't stop laughing.

I saw my former principal a few years ago--he still remembers how funny this all was to him.

Girl fights aren't nearly as exciting. Once, this girl Tia tried to bully me AND cut in line at squareball in one fell swoop. In complete shock at her attempts to brazenly bully me--just after I'd won the 4th grade spelling bee--I lifted her up by her shirt and hauled her back into her correct place at the end of the line. She was so taken aback by that that she ran off, scared.

Man, elementary school was scarier than I thought, but it really wasn't as bad as middle school. Kids are more devious in middle school, and you can't just come out and punch the girl who has just stuck gum in your hair. Fortunately for me, in that case she did it right in front of the bus driver. BUSTED.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Iliftrocks

Having the look of a troglodyte keeps me out of fights. I have hit a couple of people who were threatening me in school. Didn't take more than one hit.

Never been beat up, but my brother did get hysterical once and punched my nose. It didn't hurt, but it bled like a bitch. We laughed our collective asses off about it, cause Mom thought I was really hurt. I think I was about 6 at the time. Just remembered a friend of mine kicked me in the balls in 7th grade, for no apparent reason. I didn't retaliate, but I was never friends with him again, and he kinda hid when I happened to be around. I'd still like to know why he did it.....

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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

Atreides88

When I was in elementary school and younger, I would swing at anybody who pissed me off. Usually the winner of each brawl was rather ambiguous but we both went home with bruises, black eyes, and cuts. But if you give enough detention to a kid and he gets enough whippings from his father, he eventually learns to control himself, so in middle school I would get bullied all of the time, and not fight back. One time, one of my persecutors even came up to me and just slugged me in the face for no reason; I still feel like a pussy for telling a teacher instead of just beating the shit out of him. After middle school, I was an angry sonuvabitch and would get worked-up really easily but still had trouble actually hitting anyone.

Fortunately, I started lifting weights and playing football in high school and people stopped messing with me after that. When you have the option of fighting someone, you usually do not mess with the guy who weighs 225, can bench press more than his body weight, and can squat over twice that. I mellowed out a tad after high school and generally got along with everyone.

Now that I'm practicing martial arts, I wonder a lot whether I could act in a situation calling for fisticuffs, but luckily I don't have a lot of people trying to mess with me. I tend to get lumped into the "guys not to mess with" category, so thankfully, no more fighting except in the ring.

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"There is no need to suppose that human beings differ very much one from another: but it is true that the ones who come out on top are the ones who have been trained in the hardest school." -- Thucydides

high_jinx

as a yearly new kid, brainy at that, and pretty much a midget till age 13, i was constantly bullied and beat and i'd end up hating myself over it more than if i'd at least tried to fight back and gotten my ass kicked worse.

but once i hit 12/13, i found punk rock shows in l.a.

after a year of random elbows and steel-toes to the head in the pits of Jabberjaw while bands like Circle Jerks and Black Flag played, it became a LOT harder to to hit me with anything that would keep me down, and i guess i got that look in my eye that even bigger people don't tend to want to test.

i kinda outgrew punk by around 15, but i was still into pretty dark clothes, i just wasn't constantly pissed enough to want to fight much; i was more into psychedelia and philosophy. anyway, i had this 2ft kinda mad hatter top-hat i was known for, and some fool ripped it off my head while i was in line for the Rocky Horror Picture show and took off running.

he got about 20 feet ahead of me before i started off after him, and i just chased him without gaining on him for almost 2 miles around corners and alleys like that cartoon skunk chasing the cat till he turned around shaking and gassed, holding out the hat and saying "here dude, im not gonna fight you f-...." only he didn't finish because the shot to the ribs i gave him dropped him like a sack of taters. he squirmed a little so i kicked him a couple times, said something to the effect of going after baseball hats, not pieces of people's personality, and walked back to Rocky.

it was the first time i felt a little bad for roughing someone up afterward even if i was righteous, and although people have tested me since, they've backed down before i had to go in the years since.

the main thing i know for sure is that even if you're gonna get rocked, sometimes thats preferable to letting people simply get away with saying or doing certain things to you and living with yourself afterward.

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-my phobia drowned while i was gettin down.

Eweser

I've never been in a fight. But what is weird is that I wasn't messed with in school, for the most part. I was a tom-boy, stout, and scrappy. I guess that was enough to keep anyone from starting anything serious with me.

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"Whoever wrote this episode should die!"

Xerxys

The community channel does it again for me, I lol'ed really hard at this ...