Baraka_Guru

I've been thinking of this recently because I've made some changes to my daily habits. This is coming out of hitting a low point on how I feel about myself both mentally and physically.

I've made some changes, and more are on the way. It's been about a month since the first changes, and I already feel much better than normal: my mood is better and I have more energy.

I think many of society's ills are somewhat related to this basic list on the poll. If more of us were to get our lives to balance in a more healthful way, there would be less discontent, arguing, and broken/dysfunctional families and relationships. I know my own family life growing up would have been far happier if more of these things were dealt with consciously.

But that's just it: we don't live in the present—we tend to ruminate about the past or fret about the future. Our present selves easily get into a rut and we do things that aren't good for us.

It doesn't have to be that way. But it isn't easy.

• Do you think you can do more to reduce misery—general feelings of lethargy, stress, or unhappiness?
• What are the greatest challenges for you?
• What can you do to overcome them?

Edit: I answered "relationships" and "stress/spirituality." This is a reduced list, because as I mentioned, I've tackled other things recently, namely, diet, sleep, and exercise.

I need to spend more time on rewarding "spiritual" and stress-relieving activities. I spend too much of my free time playing video games when I could instead to something more rewarding with that excessive time (up to an hour a day, since I play games for 2 or 3 hours a day sometimes).

I also need to work harder to foster rewarding relationships. I don't spend enough time with friends, family, and, arguably, my SO. I've always been introverted, but not so much anymore. Most of my family lives 2.5 hours from me, but I rarely call them and only visit 2 or 3 times per year. I have cheap long distance...I need to use it. I feel so out of touch with them, and it's something I can easily fix if I were to put in the effort.

So...this is my focus to improve my life even more so.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Glory's Sun

I smoke and drink too much.. and I don't sleep. Chronic insomnia is a bitch and a half.

I think alot of people's problems stem from the fact that they mistake mental tiredness with physical tiredness. When a person is mentally strained, it can have an effect on the rest of the body, but instead of working out or doing a hobby that is enjoyed, they sit on the couch and watch the tube or surf the net. This only increases the miserable effects that a person feels.

I'm a very high strung person, but most people can't tell it. I do a good job of relieving stress and managing my time. My wife on the other hand does not cope well with stress. Granted, she works full time and goes to school full time, but she sleeps way too much on the weekend. When she does start a workout routine her stresses melt away and she feels better but she never sticks with it. Thankfully, it hasn't affected her in some ways such as obesity or anything like that. She's one person who often mistakes mental tiredness with physical tiredness. She'll sleep late on the weekends, take a 3 hour nap in the afternoon and say she's tired. DUH! I try to show her how it works and she's just stubborn like me, so she'll figure it out on her own

My greatest challenge is that I become bored with things very quickly. Once I master something or get good at it, I get bored and want to do something different. This is good in one sense that it keeps me fresh in ideas for production, but it's bad in the routine sense. I never have a set routine and often find that I take on more than I really intended to.

mixedmedia

* Do you think you can do more to reduce misery—general feelings of lethargy, stress, or unhappiness?
I often have feelings of lethargy and stress and occasional unhappiness, but I don't think of myself as miserable. I think the periods of disenchantment I go through are appropriate considering my outlook on the challenges of modern living and that outlook is not one that I desire to change. That said, I definitely could use more sleep and I am certain that better sleeping habits would counteract a lot of the mental and physical symptoms of daily stress that I feel.

* What are the greatest challenges for you?
I rarely fret about the past or the future. I think, like many people, I grapple with vague existential frustrations that are channeled through encounters with ignorance, irrational bureaucracy and bad drivers - to name just a few.

* What can you do to overcome them?
I mentioned the sleep and since I went back to school I have not been cooking as many meals and as a result am not eating as well as I should. I also rarely make time for yoga like I used to which I know has affected my mental and physical health overall. So if I corrected my lifestyle to allow for more sleep, better nutrition and regular yoga practice, it would help the way I feel tremendously. Yet, I would go through periods of 'the blues' just the same. And I think that's normal and to be expected. Maybe even desired...lots of interesting ideas and realizations have come out of those periods.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Cynthetiq

I could have checked off all the boxes but my disposition is still basically the same. I'm generally happy almost all of the time. Even in dire situations and crisis, I'm still pretty sound. I may be frustrated or angry for a period of time while I'm working through a situation.

I rarely make it to miserable. I have my days, but they are very few and far between. I think in general it may even by cyclical in some fashion.

I try hard not to take things too seriously, even when I should be taking it seriously. I also try hard to accept things as they are and to change only what I can.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

mixedmedia

Re: the poll - you can already tell that sleep is going to be the big one...

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Baraka_Guru

MM: I thought as much. I think sleep is an issue for far too many people...it's like an epidemic.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Xerxys

I'm kinda like Cynth but I checked off all the boxes under smoking. I don't drink or smoke not because it's unhealthy but because its too easy not to do it!!!! Anyway, a while back, before I got on my feet, like in the beginning of '07, all money that I could have spent drinking or on pack of ciggarrets I spent paying fees. Credit card fees, bank overdraft fees, late fees on payments.

Beyond that I guess I'm generally a laid back person to let other things bother me but I'm addicted to working now. It's one unhealthy addiction after another that constantly keeps me a step behind my best.

Thing is, It's so much easier to drink coke instead of water. In order for you to be your best, you need to incoporate all the elements mentioned in the above poll. Slack on just one and BAM!!! Your back to square one! So how exactly can anyone here tell me to take it one step at a time and then at the same time say work on yourself as awhole? Oxymoron? Me thinks!! No one told me THIS was adulthood.

HA! Try martial arts.

Lasereth

I don't get enough sleep, and I do it on purpose. I have to get up and start the whole process of work at 6 AM and it ends at 5:30 PM. That is a gigantic portion of my day, and I don't want to go to bed at fucking 9:30 or 10 just so I can get up the next day and do it again. Dammit I am going to enjoy SOME of my waking moments away from work, even if it means not getting enough sleep.

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"A Darwinian attacks his theory, seeking to find flaws. An ID believer defends his theory, seeking to conceal flaws." -Roger Ebert

inBOIL

Do you think you can do more to reduce misery—general feelings of lethargy, stress, or unhappiness? Yes, I can socialize more. It's necessary for my mental well-being.

What are the greatest challenges for you? Motivation. Socializing is a boring and awkward chore, although the unpleasantness seems to fade a little after a while.

What can you do to overcome them?I wish I knew. It's like pushing a bowling ball through sand; momentum doesn't seem to make it any easier. I have to find a way to get used to constantly pushing myself to do it.

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And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

dlish

i undersleep and overwork.

i need a break

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Bear Cub

I'm caught in an awkward transition because of work. I've fallen in love with Houston and the people here. I do not love my work, but am eagerly anticipating the quality of improvement in work as the result of a transfer. However, I'm being transferred to the middle of nowhere for 2 1/2 years at least, stifling my social life, the relationships I've formed, and taking me away from the first place I really felt like I could call home.

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Living in the United Socialist States of America.

snowy

It's been over 2 years since my doctor suggested taking up exercise to deal with depression, and it worked. I almost always get enough sleep (I can tell when I don't, I turn into SuperBitch), eat a pretty balanced diet, and exercise regularly. I am, as my doctor says, "living the good life." I can tell when I'm not doing enough to keep myself balanced. Yoga helps a lot.

I never ever ever want to go back to being overweight and unhealthy. Ever. I WAS miserable. Now I'm not.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Glory's Sun

been there done that Did Muay Thai and BJJ, and still got bored with it eventually.

genuinegirly

Sleep is the big one for me.
I'm still trying to balance my sleep schedule.
I keep thinking it would be great to go to bed at 8am and wake up at 5am, getting plenty of sleep. But then it gets to be 11pm and I'm still awake doing pointless things at a pace that is far slower than what I'd prefer...
I wouldn't say that it makes me feel miserable, though. Just not tip-top.
I prefer waking up early and going to bed late, mainly because I am an introvert and don't enjoy interacting with people regularly. If I were to arrive at the lab at 5am, I would be the only one there. I would be able to start my experiments for the day with basically no distractions. I also feel a tug to spend time with my husband. I stay up late with him - dozing off on the couch as we watch cartoons or anime. I just want the cuddles, I guess.

I do need to re-work the schedule of my life.
Thank you for brining it to my attention.

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

fresnelly

While all of those options can be major contributors, I think the key element is the lack of an outlet for that built up misery. All of them can be tempured or endured if one has something to turn to.

Recently my wife was away for almost a month on business and I was alone at home with our two toddlers. I had occasional help from our parents and friends (and for that I'm grateful) but sometimes the effort and lack of sleep really got to me. Our daughter would wakeup at 5:30am (in addition to middle-of-the-night stretches of up to an hour) and our son wouldn't fall asleep until after 10pm. Add in a full workday and I was exhausted and cranky.

During one of those middle-of-the-night stretches I found myself getting angry and resentful towards my daughter so I went downstairs to cool off. As I paced around in the dark it occured to me that I had absolutely no way to unload my anger.

I certainly couldn't take it out on the kids, I couldn't leave the house to go running or driving, and there was nobody to talk to about it at the time. While this knowlege and my own rational mind allowed me to settle down, the sense of frustration (misery) remained in place at a low boil.

Reflecting more on this the next day I realized it wasn't just when alone in the middle of the night that I had no outlet for all this extra emotion. No hobbies, no partying, no sports, creative avenues etc... In other words, no voice. That was the underlying misery.

Having a means to express that voice, whatever it is, allows us to endure hardship. It makes life meaningful or at least valued. If you have a shitty day at work, coming home to a loving family or having an activity or connection to look forward to afterwards counterbalances its importance. The shitty job doesn't dominate your life in the grand equation because it's not what you're living for. Clinical Depression I guess, is when brain chemistry gets in the way to the point where you can't see the balance anymore.

Anyway, all I'm saying is that I think that misery is a state of arrested expression as much as subjugation to one harship or another.

__________________
Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

KirStang

My biggest anti-depressant is socializing. I spend hours and hours in my dark room reading tons of law text, and don't get much socialization beyond the typical empty banter between most classmates.

However, if I get out and hang out with some friends/close classmates, it all goes away. Not so miserable anymore. Hell, even studying with someone relieves some of the misery.

Lindy

Hope those things work out for you. In the past I had things that I thought I'd "tackled," only to have them get up and come right back at me and I had to tackle them all over again. And again. And again.

The first thing that struck me as I opened this thread was the pluralis auctoris (Why do WE feel so miserable?) thread title. Although some days are certainly more joyous than others, I don't really like to be included (even rhetorically) in the miserable camp. So I went through the poll to see which things affect me...

• I drink too much.
  I hardly drink at all. I'm not a teetotaler, but I probably don't average a dozen drinks or glasses of wine in a month.
• I smoke too much.
  I don't smoke at all.
• I don't eat a balanced diet
  [Well, I guess not. I eat a high protein, moderate fat, low carb diet. It is not balanced according to that idiotic food pyramid, but it is thought out and planned. My lipids, blood pressure, and other numbers are all right where they belong. I don't just grab whatever food is around.
• I don't get enough quality sleep
  [I get up about 8 am and go to bed about midnight. Being well rested seems to tame down a number of other things.
• I don't do enough to foster rewarding relationships
  [Guilty here. I tend to isolate myself, and since I'm an introvert INTP I don't even notice until it catches up with me all at once. And my generous, loving, fully functional family is 1800 miles away, no good airline connections (besides that, I hate to fly) and it's a 25-30 hour drive. I love Boston, but I'm going to move back to Kansas in the not too distant future.
• I don't adequately manage my stress or spend enough time on spiritual pursuits I'm pretty good about this. When I was married to an alcoholic I learned a lot from the ALANON program about letting go of things I have no control over. Getting enough sleep also helps me reduce stress, because my mind just works better when I get enough rest. I attend church regularly, and I do note that some of my most "miserable" friends and acquaintances are the very ones that scoff at church. Hmmm. Because I'm an introvert and tend to isolate myself it is especially important that "spiritual pursuits" involve other people. They should not be a solitary intellectual exercise. That's just mental masturbation.
• I don't get enough exercise
  I work on the sixth floor of an office building and usually take the stairs, at least a couple of times a day. Like, who needs a Stairmaster, anyway? I also enjoy cycling (weather permitting) and play the string bass at a pretty good level of competence, which is more physically demanding than you might think.

And the questions:

• Do you think you can do more to reduce misery—general feelings of lethargy, stress, or unhappiness?
  I rarely feel miserable unless physically ill, and stress isn't usually a problem either. But one thing that helps me is to concentrate on the things that I can change (about myself) or at least influence. I can't (for the sake of my own mental health) spend much time trying to solve all the political and social problems of the world at large.
• What are the greatest challenges for you?
  I tend to isolate myself. Impatience is a problem for me, and I do not suffer fools gladly.
• What can you do to overcome them?
  Getting out of myself and into a group really helps keep me from being too stuck on myself. Avoiding negative influences (including negative people) is important as well.

Lindy

ASU2003

I've been getting more sleep this year as I have fewer things to do around the house. And I don't have any money problems anymore (which should have made the list)

This is the big problem in my life right now and has been for the past 20 years.
I don't do enough to foster rewarding relationships

Baraka_Guru

Today, I've decided to take active steps to get rid of World of Warcraft for good:

1. Delete my characters
2. Cancel my account
3. Discard the software

I'd rather "level" in real life, make real "gold," and earn actual "achievements"...not the virtual kind that have no intrinsic value the second after you get them.

I generally want to spend less time on the computer in general. (Don't worry, my TFP time won't decrease...it might actually increase.)

In taking stock, I've found I'm not satisfied with how little time I spend trying to become a better guitar player. I'm constantly choosing WoW over practicing, even though I know from past experience that I find playing the guitar far more rewarding and enjoyable.

I'm also appalled at how little I read books now. If I weren't reading books for a living, I wouldn't be reading much at all currently. I want to read more books for personal interest. I haven't read a novel in months..... And there are so many non-fiction books on my list that I haven't touched.

WoW is standing in the way of much of this. I have casual video games I could be playing minimally for relaxation. I don't need to be spending 2 or 3 hours a day (or more) on the computer for this purpose.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot