Need advise!!!!!! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

stumped · 03-21-2009, 03:51 PM

I need a mans advise on my dumb ass boyfriend!!!!! I'm 4 almost 5 months pregnant and he changes his mind on having a baby due to financial stress and wants me to abort and then tells me if I dont Im on my own... He also says that he might change his mind but as of now he dosent think so. We have been talking about having a baby for a while now.. from picking out names to talking about what it would look like... He acts like there is a return policy if he changes his mind WTF.... it's not like he dosent have any kids he has one from his Ex wife... why did he cum inside me knowing we were using no birth control? we have done this are whole relationship ( we were together for 6 yrs broke up for 1 1/2 and then got back together 5 months ago.. What in the hell is going on in his head... what do i do????? I want to know what the hell he is thinking (we were planing on having a baby) It sucks raising a baby by yourself..

Xerxys · 03-21-2009, 04:20 PM

OMFG!!! What? Seriously is this even a question your asking? Do what you want to do. Don't you have a brain of your own? If you want the baby, keep it, if not ... you're not on your own, the law will make sure he takes care of you.

P.S. Ditch the asshole!

cdwonderful · 03-21-2009, 04:41 PM

Please see above.......

stumped · 03-21-2009, 08:49 PM

I do have a brain..... I'm trying to figure out what the fuck he is thinking!!???

Xerxys · 03-21-2009, 08:53 PM

No one here knows what he's thinking. Not even with a very complete and concise psychological profile. Not even his friends. Not even the folk here that have kids know what he's thinking.

Only he knows what's in his head.

stumped · 03-21-2009, 08:53 PM

It just sucks because I could have taken care of this 2 months ago...Its hard raising a kid on your own. I just want to know what he is thinking!!! I feel like I got screwed..

cdwonderful · 03-21-2009, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stumped

I do have a brain..... I'm trying to figure out what the fuck he is thinking!!???

he's not........you HAVE to

highthief · 03-22-2009, 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stumped

I do have a brain..... I'm trying to figure out what the fuck he is thinking!!???

He's going to dump you regardless. Yeah, that sound harsh, but this is a guy looking for an excuse for an exit. Real men who love their women never quit on them regardless of circumstance.

As a parent, yes, it is very hard, but I know great single moms who do a fantastic job with their kids - it can be done.

Good luck.

Xazy · 03-22-2009, 03:58 AM

Wow what an ass, and if you live in the US he does not have to be there to be a father in order to be forced to pay child support.

jimmy1s269 · 03-22-2009, 06:25 AM

keep the kid, dump the jerkyou probably wont be raising the kid alone its whole life. there are real men out there who are not afraid to date women with kids.

HALJNS · 03-22-2009, 07:57 AM

4 or 5mos.THAT IS A LITTLE LATE IN THE GAME TO ABORT .AS FOR THE BF-TOTALLY IRRESPONSIBLE ASS HOLE!

Lucifer · 03-22-2009, 08:55 AM

Hmmmm, well, I advise you to start by spelling it advice

stumped · 03-22-2009, 10:06 AM

Hahahahahah my typing skills are not the best sorry for the mistake...... typical man pic on the lil crap that has nothing to do with the QUESTION!!!

---------- Post added at 11:06 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:55 AM ----------

Thank you! I guess its hard facing the truth... I wish he would have backed out before I got pregnant.. or even talked about having a baby It just hurts alot. I thought maybe he might change his mind since this whole thing has been like a roller coaster for the past few months.. But as they say wishful thinking. But he made it clear again this morning he feels bad but he dosent think he will or can change his mind in the next 4 months.. Fyi I'm sure there area a few real men out there but not in Nevada!! It sucks doing this on my own.. Thanks again

little_tippler · 03-22-2009, 10:14 AM

I don't think you should take your anger out on a stranger just because your man doesn't have the balls to face up to what the consequences are of having unprotected sex. And by the way, there were 2 of you when that happened no?

Forget about him and have your child. Move on from that idiot and be wiser in your next relationship. Try and give your child the best life you can. Lots of people raise children as single parents. You'll be alright.

Xerxys · 03-22-2009, 10:36 AM

stumped, I sounded like an ass. I apologize.

I really know how it feels when it comes to making a joint decision only to have to follow through by yourself. Nothing of this magnitude of course but I'm hoping you get the drift. You need to get rid of your BF. I'm sorry but he's a fuckin' ASS.

I'm not anti-abortion, really I think abortion should be the option of the lady in question. But I think you should keep the kid. Adoption is the way to go. There are other various options besides keeping and not keeping. Please look into them.

Best of luck.

stumped · 03-22-2009, 10:48 AM

I was replying to the person who had something to say about a stupid spelliing error that was just the lil statement with the hahahaha.... Other then that everyone has been great with the advise giving, I respect what everyone has to say.. I know that there were two of us when we got pregnant it was a planned event he changed his mind well after the fact. if I knew this was going to happen I would have been taking or using some type of birthcontol. I like to believe that I'm very responible. I'm just stumped over his actions and I don't understand how he could do this...

northstar · 03-22-2009, 11:20 AM

1. Keep kid and raise him/her. Don't expect this father to be in their life.
2. Give up for adoption.
3. Get an abortion. It's pretty late at this point, for me ethical issues begin to arise.

Pick one.

Your words indicate that you don't seem to feel responsibility for this situation. Surely I hope you realize that having kids without a committed partner isn't the ideal scenario.

He also doesn't sound like a very upstanding guy but I have very limited knowledge about him and we are only hearing one side of the story.

vanblah · 03-23-2009, 05:53 AM

It sounds to me like your best bet would be adoption. Especially, since it sounds like you don't want a baby either:

Quote:

Originally Posted by stumped

It just sucks because I could have taken care of this 2 months ago

03-21-2009, 03:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
stumped Upright	Need advise!!!!!! I need a mans advise on my dumb ass boyfriend!!!!! I'm 4 almost 5 months pregnant and he changes his mind on having a baby due to financial stress and wants me to abort and then tells me if I dont Im on my own... He also says that he might change his mind but as of now he dosent think so. We have been talking about having a baby for a while now.. from picking out names to talking about what it would look like... He acts like there is a return policy if he changes his mind WTF.... it's not like he dosent have any kids he has one from his Ex wife... why did he cum inside me knowing we were using no birth control? we have done this are whole relationship ( we were together for 6 yrs broke up for 1 1/2 and then got back together 5 months ago.. What in the hell is going on in his head... what do i do????? I want to know what the hell he is thinking (we were planing on having a baby) It sucks raising a baby by yourself.. Last edited by stumped; 03-21-2009 at 08:46 PM..

03-21-2009, 04:41 PM	#3 (permalink)
cdwonderful another passenger Location: Youngstown, Ohio	Please see above....... __________________ Never try to teach a pig to whistle it wastes your time, and annoys the pig.....

03-22-2009, 08:55 AM	#12 (permalink)
Lucifer Husband of Seamaiden Location: Nova Scotia	Hmmmm, well, I advise you to start by spelling it advice __________________ I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. - Job 30:29 1123, 6536, 5321

03-22-2009, 10:06 AM	#13 (permalink)
stumped Upright	Hahahahahah my typing skills are not the best sorry for the mistake...... typical man pic on the lil crap that has nothing to do with the QUESTION!!! ---------- Post added at 11:06 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:55 AM ---------- Thank you! I guess its hard facing the truth... I wish he would have backed out before I got pregnant.. or even talked about having a baby It just hurts alot. I thought maybe he might change his mind since this whole thing has been like a roller coaster for the past few months.. But as they say wishful thinking. But he made it clear again this morning he feels bad but he dosent think he will or can change his mind in the next 4 months.. Fyi I'm sure there area a few real men out there but not in Nevada!! It sucks doing this on my own.. Thanks again Last edited by little_tippler; 03-22-2009 at 10:15 AM.. Reason: repeated phrase removed

03-22-2009, 10:14 AM	#14 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	I don't think you should take your anger out on a stranger just because your man doesn't have the balls to face up to what the consequences are of having unprotected sex. And by the way, there were 2 of you when that happened no? Forget about him and have your child. Move on from that idiot and be wiser in your next relationship. Try and give your child the best life you can. Lots of people raise children as single parents. You'll be alright. __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918

03-21-2009, 04:20 PM	#2 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.	OMFG!!! What? Seriously is this even a question your asking? Do what you want to do. Don't you have a brain of your own? If you want the baby, keep it, if not ... you're not on your own, the law will make sure he takes care of you. P.S. Ditch the asshole!

03-21-2009, 08:49 PM	#4 (permalink)
stumped Upright	I do have a brain..... I'm trying to figure out what the fuck he is thinking!!???

03-21-2009, 08:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.	No one here knows what he's thinking. Not even with a very complete and concise psychological profile. Not even his friends. Not even the folk here that have kids know what he's thinking. Only he knows what's in his head.

03-21-2009, 08:53 PM	#6 (permalink)
stumped Upright	It just sucks because I could have taken care of this 2 months ago...Its hard raising a kid on your own. I just want to know what he is thinking!!! I feel like I got screwed..

03-22-2009, 03:58 AM	#9 (permalink)
Xazy People in masks cannot be trusted Location: NYC	Wow what an ass, and if you live in the US he does not have to be there to be a father in order to be forced to pay child support.

03-22-2009, 06:25 AM	#10 (permalink)
jimmy1s269 Tilted	keep the kid, dump the jerkyou probably wont be raising the kid alone its whole life. there are real men out there who are not afraid to date women with kids.

03-22-2009, 07:57 AM	#11 (permalink)
HALJNS Upright	4 or 5mos.THAT IS A LITTLE LATE IN THE GAME TO ABORT .AS FOR THE BF-TOTALLY IRRESPONSIBLE ASS HOLE!

03-22-2009, 10:36 AM	#15 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.	stumped, I sounded like an ass. I apologize. I really know how it feels when it comes to making a joint decision only to have to follow through by yourself. Nothing of this magnitude of course but I'm hoping you get the drift. You need to get rid of your BF. I'm sorry but he's a fuckin' ASS. I'm not anti-abortion, really I think abortion should be the option of the lady in question. But I think you should keep the kid. Adoption is the way to go. There are other various options besides keeping and not keeping. Please look into them. Best of luck.

03-22-2009, 10:48 AM	#16 (permalink)
stumped Upright	I was replying to the person who had something to say about a stupid spelliing error that was just the lil statement with the hahahaha.... Other then that everyone has been great with the advise giving, I respect what everyone has to say.. I know that there were two of us when we got pregnant it was a planned event he changed his mind well after the fact. if I knew this was going to happen I would have been taking or using some type of birthcontol. I like to believe that I'm very responible. I'm just stumped over his actions and I don't understand how he could do this...

03-22-2009, 11:20 AM	#17 (permalink)
northstar Upright	1. Keep kid and raise him/her. Don't expect this father to be in their life. 2. Give up for adoption. 3. Get an abortion. It's pretty late at this point, for me ethical issues begin to arise. Pick one. Your words indicate that you don't seem to feel responsibility for this situation. Surely I hope you realize that having kids without a committed partner isn't the ideal scenario. He also doesn't sound like a very upstanding guy but I have very limited knowledge about him and we are only hearing one side of the story.