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I'm not sure how many people need to say this before you understand it, but add my voice to the mix. People in a healthy relationship do NOT need to dictate who the other person does or doesnt associate with based on the sex of those people. Unless you WANT to be in a controlling relationship, which it sounds like because you keep making excuses for his inexcusable behavior....you need to put your foot down.
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As for people not knowing what else you've posted, well, anyone can easily do a seach if they were so curious, and find the (now locked) thread you originally posted. If you didn't want people to know about it, you probably shouldn't have posted it in the first place. ;)
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[QUOTE=Sue;2602991]As for people not knowing what else you've posted, well, anyone can easily do a seach if they were so curious, and find the (now locked) thread you originally posted. If you didn't want people to know about it, you probably shouldn't have posted it in the first place. ;) QUOTE]
I don't care if people know, that's why i posted it. I just wanted people to answer this question without the background knowledge. |
If you're actually considering losing just about all of your friends for a guy you've been dating long distance for 6 (?) months, maybe do you do deserve this relationship.
Here's the summary of all the viewpoints: leave him. Alternative solution: don't leave him. Post a thread here when he breaks up with you out of suspicion that you're cheating on him. |
I agree with the rest of TFP that says split. I think kacilinden keeps on making excuses to justify her staying.
Sad really. |
We are making a little progress :)
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Great. Let's stop making threads about this then, since you're completely oblivious to our advice and opinions we've given you.
Post up when LoganSnake's alternative solution is the only solution left to post about. |
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Big surprise. So if we thought you'd been together years instead of days, you think the advice would change? |
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It is you that has made NONE. From the looks of it. i vote to close this, if OP doesn't have anything else to input. |
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As far as I see it's just as dead end of a discussion as the last one. |
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I LOL in a pathetic sad kinda way. |
He's jealous and has security issues.
Don't let yourself be manipulated, hang out with whoever you want, if he doesn't trust you, that's his problem. |
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Then fucking close it. I'm not forcing y'all to read or reply. |
why don't you take a moment and look around at the other posts that people have asked for opinion and help from out community. It is a bit more than one single line. The responses back are also more than one single line.
The idea here is that the more you actually write out, read, and reread, sometimes that alone is enough to make one understand just what they are getting themselves into. You aren't forcing anyone to read or reply, but this is a community of genuinely helpful people. Maybe over time if you stick around, you'll see that. Maybe you'll understand that many of us have become friends over the years. Many of us have recently made new friends without prejudice of male or female. He finally understands? The real crux here is do YOU understand? |
I understand that i love him, and no one has to understand or approve of our relationship.
Thanks everyone for your input. I explained some of these things to him, and things are getting better. |
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When you give us feedback (not a one liner) it make us feel good (or bad) about YOU! Thats because WE CARE for whom ever seek advice and we would like to know how that person is doing. In this case it happen to be you. |
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just curious how things became better overnight with a simple conversation. usually people will only tell you 'yes' to shut you up because they dont value your viewpoint |
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Romantic ideas need a logic buffer sometimes. There are consequences to buying into this "Endless Love" ideology..... |
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As others above have suggested, love is not the be-all, end-all you seem to think it is, kacilinden. Maintaining real love, and a healthy relationship to sustain that love, requires a lot of work. It's not all sunshine and daisies--sometimes that work is painful.
Love is not unique. Your connection is not unique, though you may feel that it's special. As my dad told me shortly after I broke up with my first love, "Men are like MAX trains; there's another one every 15 minutes." He was right. Ultimately, the relationship that lasts is not necessarily the one where you're both burning with passion. The relationship that lasts is the one where both partners are willing to put in the effort to make the relationship a healthy, functional one. |
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Passion is fleeting. That's the nature of it. It's what we do outside of passion that makes a meaningful (and long-lasting) relationship. It's making sacrifices and going out of your way sometimes. It's also about taking care of yourself as well as your significant other. Sometimes it's: "Listen, I need to go off and do my own thing." "Oh, good, because so do I." The two-become-one thing is cool in theory, but in practice one needs to maintain their individuality as well. |
wait a minute, I gotta an idea.....if he is worried you are gonna leave him for one of you male friends.........
Keep all your male friends and don't leave. That will teach him alright............ |
You will do what you want to, and hopefully learn from experience.
I did, and still do things despite anyone's advice. There is a lot of good & caring advice from others in this thread, especially us older folks, who would like to spare you youngins some of the pain we went through figuring this stuff out. In my experience: Experience is the best teacher. You can't save people from having to make their own mistakes. ( I wonder if the Internet was around, and I had access to all the good books that have been written since I was a teen, on interpersonal relationships, etc.. would of made any difference.) huh. |
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It's much easier to give advice when we better understand the situation you are dealing with. If there is no background, we assume the worst. Reality is rarely played out in extremes. I hope the best for you. I hope he can see that your male friends are only that - friends. I hope you two can overcome any and all feelings of mistrust. If any indeed exist. Complex cultural issues might be at play here - we really know nothing of the situation at hand. |
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Dump him :thumbsup: |
I have myself been in a situation were I've been asked to stop talking to all of my male friends and like you that's pretty much all i have. I can could my female friends all on one hand.
So the bottom like is he is cheating, is a cheater, and is very insecure and wants to have all control. You will be better with out him and all the drama that he brings to the table. |
Here's where I take issue with all of this...
this isn't just a casual relationship..you say you are getting married after his next deployment.. yet neither one of you KNOW each other. You say you love him and that he loves you.. yet there is no give or compromise. It's all take on his behalf. He's in NC with his marine buddies drinking and fucking some broad he met at the local bar..and then guilt tripping you..because he want to have his cake and eat some pie too. Call me old fashioned..but it's pointless to get married or even talk about marriage when you really aren't happy..and you don't really know the other person. plus.. I don't think I've ever known a faithful marine..ever. just sayin. |
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I don't know Sam ;) |
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But if you don't even know him well you can't go forward with anything. I would say you should at least be together for a min of two years because people change so much it should be more like five years while also living together for some of those 5 years. |
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It was a half generalization..but I was pulling from the marines that I have known IRL. Knowing someone by the text on the screen and in flesh is two very different things but anyway back to the thread topic |
Not hanging out does not constitute broken friendship
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Gosh, I miss kacilinden, too bad I don't think she'll ever come back ... Kaci, wherever you are ... please come back ...
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