Dating with scars, 66? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

girldetective · 02-18-2009, 05:12 PM

Last week a client told me she worried about her mother being lonely, and perhaps beginning to date. Ive been thinking about this woman periodically and wondering if one would think her dateable knowing these facts (which are what I gleaned from her daughter) :

1) She is a lovely woman, probably tall and willowy, who just cut her hair short after years of having it quite long. I understand it looks great.
2) She is a widow of 4 years.
3) She is lonely.
4) She is 66 yrs old.
5) She has had a double mastectomy with no reconstructive surgery.

Her daughter is concerned that men might not stick with her, if they dated her at all. She sort of bitterly mentioned that so many older men want to date younger woman that she is afraid her mother could end up dating an 80 yr old, her being that dude's younger babe! I would hope to think better of you rocket gendered folks, but I wonder. The few men that Ive asked have been reticent, thinking perhaps that one likes what one likes or that no one is guaranteed a partner, which are correct.

Nonetheless, I feel sad for this woman, who if she were to live to 90 might spend the next 24 yrs lonely, without a partner. What do you think her odds are? What do you think her responsibilities are? Would you advise her to have reconstructive surgery? Do you think that would better her odds?

Im not asking to bring out judgements, but Im genuinely curious about others' opinions.

besitos.

ngdawg · 02-18-2009, 07:06 PM

My question would be, does the woman feel lonely? The daughter might be projecting her own fears, not her mother's.
Her odds? Of what? Finding a man? About as good as any other 66 years old woman's. And if a man was only interested in snaring a younger woman, well, he's not worth wanting at any rate, so why try?
Her responsibilities? Only to herself.

My mother-in-law is 77 years old and has a boyfriend. She travels the 3.5 hours once or twice a month (or he will) to spend two weeks together. Trust me, she didn't attract him with her tits.

Redlemon · 02-19-2009, 05:44 AM

I would think it is all about her confidence. I've told this story before, but I once saw a woman on a nude beach, probably in the 70-80 age range, with a single full mastectomy. She wasn't hiding or covering it, and there was a beauty about her, because you could see her confidence.

Quote:

Originally Posted by girldetective

She sort of bitterly mentioned that so many older men want to date younger woman that she is afraid her mother could end up dating an 80 yr old, her being that dude's younger babe!

That statement really leaps out at me. As Ng said, it sounds like she is projecting her own concerns. (80 to 66 falls well within the "1/2 the age plus 7" guideline.)

girldetective · 02-19-2009, 09:43 AM

Yes, thank you! I feel the same. This is the good cheer I hoped to hear, and what I had passed on to her daughter. The woman feels lonely and is lovely. So far, what is there not to like?!

02-18-2009, 05:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
girldetective sufferable	Dating with scars, 66? Last week a client told me she worried about her mother being lonely, and perhaps beginning to date. Ive been thinking about this woman periodically and wondering if one would think her dateable knowing these facts (which are what I gleaned from her daughter) : 1) She is a lovely woman, probably tall and willowy, who just cut her hair short after years of having it quite long. I understand it looks great. 2) She is a widow of 4 years. 3) She is lonely. 4) She is 66 yrs old. 5) She has had a double mastectomy with no reconstructive surgery. Her daughter is concerned that men might not stick with her, if they dated her at all. She sort of bitterly mentioned that so many older men want to date younger woman that she is afraid her mother could end up dating an 80 yr old, her being that dude's younger babe! I would hope to think better of you rocket gendered folks, but I wonder. The few men that Ive asked have been reticent, thinking perhaps that one likes what one likes or that no one is guaranteed a partner, which are correct. Nonetheless, I feel sad for this woman, who if she were to live to 90 might spend the next 24 yrs lonely, without a partner. What do you think her odds are? What do you think her responsibilities are? Would you advise her to have reconstructive surgery? Do you think that would better her odds? Im not asking to bring out judgements, but Im genuinely curious about others' opinions. besitos. __________________ As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

02-18-2009, 07:06 PM	#2 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	My question would be, does the woman feel lonely? The daughter might be projecting her own fears, not her mother's. Her odds? Of what? Finding a man? About as good as any other 66 years old woman's. And if a man was only interested in snaring a younger woman, well, he's not worth wanting at any rate, so why try? Her responsibilities? Only to herself. My mother-in-law is 77 years old and has a boyfriend. She travels the 3.5 hours once or twice a month (or he will) to spend two weeks together. Trust me, she didn't attract him with her tits. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

02-19-2009, 09:43 AM	#4 (permalink)
girldetective sufferable	Yes, thank you! I feel the same. This is the good cheer I hoped to hear, and what I had passed on to her daughter. The woman feels lonely and is lovely. So far, what is there not to like?! __________________ As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata