Offer some unusual tips from your line of work
 

We have an eclectic bunch of people here at TFP and many of us work in odd or interesting fields where we gain particular knowledge that most people just don't get exposed to in their lives. So let's share! What are one or two key bits of information that you've picked up along the way that you think most people don't know about, or advice they don't follow. I'm not talking about someone who is a dentist reminding you to brush and floss regularly... something more unexpected. Like a dentist telling us that a probiotic toothpaste could end all cavities (it can and does) and it was bought by a major consumer products company and filed away (it was... ask me about it later).

Anyway, on to my two tips to start the thread.

I work in pre-clinical vision research, so my tips are going to relate to preserving your vision and how we see what we see.

Tip #1: Always wear sunglasses outside... always! Why? Light-induced damage to the eye is a contributing factor to age-related eye disorders. And it is really simple to massively reduce the UV light that gets into your eyes just by wearing a pair of sunglasses. The take home message is if you want to preserve your vision into your 70s and 80s, wear sunglasses throughout your life. And for the purposes of this discussion, most $7 sunglasses from Rite-Aid are just as effective as $200 Oakleys.

Tip #2: If you are trying to navigate in the dark or dimly-lit situations, try shifting your gaze just to the side of the area you are trying to navigate. Why does this work? Most of our central vision (the area where we focus called the macula) is made up of color sensing cone cells. These are less sensitive to light than the rod cells which are more dense in the areas outside the macula. So by shifting your gaze right or left slightly, you are using the more light sensitive rods to see the 'target' and you can make out the doorway or toilet or tent more easily. Try it for yourself tonight.

I'll look forward to the education that it sure to pour forth from the font of TFP.

I work in software research and development, so my tips are going to relate to computer software.

Tip #1: Make sure that you read EULAs, Privacy Policies, etc., at least once. The amount of information that gets bought and sold daily about you is astounding. If you don't want everything you do to be public knowledge, use psuedonyms and do things as anonymously as possible. With a few cleverly crafted searches, someone can turn something as innocuous as a username and a location into a real name, real address, or even social security number.

Tip #2: If you think as program is behaving strangely, try to record what you do before (and after) it starts to act up. Before trying to seek assistance or reporting the issue, see if you can duplicate the error. People like me love to help, but if you can't remember what you did before it happens, it can be almost impossible to help. Things like clicks, mouse movements, keypresses, and even the information you entered is invaluable. Likewise, if you see an error message - copy it down VERBATIM. If you paraphrase it, ala "it said something was null...", it's very little use. Error messages are written so that someone who understands the program will have a better idea what is acting up.

Tip #3: If you do find a legitimate error in a program, don't be shy about reporting it. It's likely that hundreds of other people are experiencing the same issue, but aren't speaking up. Many times we make assumptions about the quality of a product when no one complains; but in reality, they don't like how the interface functions, or it's too slow, or they're getting random errors.

Tip #4: Make backups, but don't be afraid of 'breaking' things. If you're afraid of your computer, it's likely that you're not usually it to its full potential. Be OK with making mistakes, because it allows you to explore all the functions a given program may have. You can learn things about Excel, Word, etc., without ever reading the manual. Just start clicking things and checking checkboxes and see what happens. You might be surprised.

I work as a book editor in small-press publishing.

If you wish to get a book published, here are some universal tips (this is not a complete list). These I consider unusual because too many people don't know these enough and often get a surprising wake-up call.

1. Be absolutely sure to follow all of the publishers’ guidelines to the T when making a submission. Failing to do so can easily give your proposal that “kiss of death” in publishing: the rejection. Always remember, it’s so easy to say no.
   
2. For the love of literature, please, please! if you want to be a published author one day…please read books…and lots of them. Do it lots, please. I’ve seen far too many submissions where I’ve found absolutely no evidence that the writer has ever read a book published within the area of their submission. Read everything. Read good things; read bad things. Just read. It’s beginning to seem as though there are more writers than readers out there, and that’s a bad thing. Bottom line: a writer (especially the published and/or professional kind) is a reader first and a writer second.
   
3. Publishing some of your material in non-book publications greatly increases your odds of publishing something as a book publication. Books are at the top end of the financial risk spectrum. New and emerging authors are huge risks. Lessen the risk by getting a publishing track record of some kind under your belt: think articles/pieces in journals, newspapers, magazines, and other forms of publishing.
   
4. Don’t do it for the money. If you’re in it for the money, it means you don’t quite understand one or two things: 1) money and/or 2) book publishing. Or maybe you have a fetish for lottery-like long shots, I don’t know. If you want to write and publish a book, make sure it’s a labour of love. This is the kind of mindset most successful authors have, and it will show in the writing. Contrary to what you might think, book publishing is not a fat-cat industry.
   
5. This last one can’t be stressed enough: Writing just isn’t an art form; it’s also a craft—some would say primarily so. If you don’t develop your skills and techniques (as would, say, a musician or a painter), your odds of ever producing anything worthy of the public eye will be slim to none. A budding writer once asked a prominent writer how many hours one should devote to working each day to be a successful writer. The answer? Twenty-four. As a writer, your materials are language, thought, and experience. Don’t forget that. You can’t call yourself a writer unless it’s what you do even when you aren’t physically writing.

#1. Despite how interesting the description of the internship sounds, you just might end up making plots in Excel for weeks on end. And though you might begin to feel as though you are some sort of Excel expert, you aren't, and in any case, nobody would care even if you were.

Erm. I work in condoms. Well, not IN them, but you know...

1) Latex condoms fail in minutes if you get any oil on them.

2) Condoms used for anal sex are more likely to fail, especially if you don't use enough lube (but see 1 above)

3) Too small, or too large = failure risk.

4) Thin are as strong as thick.

5) Most condom failure is due to user error.

1) So if you get oily, work quickly!

2) How is this tested in the condom industry? Seriously, do they have a machine that simulates a penis penetrating an anus and another penetrating a vagina?

3) This is why I use MagnumXL... not bragging, just saying

I work in computer tech support.

1. Is your computer running slow? It's not because it's old or outdated. It simply needs to be reformatted which wipes out the PC and can be done with a Windows installation CD. Next time your 3-5 year old PC is running slow and you think it is simply too old and outdated, ask a computer person you know if they will reformat it for you and it will be running as fast as a $1,000 PC bought today.

2. If your computer ever, EVER gives you a weird error or freezes or breaks, restart it before asking for help. Restarting a computer (as in go to Start => Shutdown or Start => Restart) fixes a gigantic portion of computer problems.

3. A quick lesson on computer hardware: the computer sitting on your desk is called the Computer, Tower, or PC. This is NOT the same as the Hard Drive or CPU. The CPU is a little chip on the inside that is the brains of the PC. The Hard Drive is a physical box on the inside of the computer that has a disk in it that stores your data.

I work in child support prosecution....

1) Fellas: If you have ANY doubt that a child born out of wedlock is yours, do NOT acknowledge paternity without a DNA test. Once paternity is established, it is damn-near impossible to disestablish, and you'll end up paying to support someone else's child.
2) Fellas: if you're married, and your wife is running around on you, you will probably end up paying child support if she gets pregnant, regardless of whether or not the child is actual yours. You are presumptively the father, and this is a hard one to rebut.
3) You have to pay child support; it doesn't matter if you don't have a job, if you can't stand the other person, if you get visitation with the child or not....you gots to pay, or else face civil or criminal charges.
4) If you have a child out-of-wedlock (yes, we still call it that in the Commonwealth of Kentucky), and get state benefits of any sort, you will have to comply with your friendly neighborhood child support agency, or else have your benefits cut.

TV News:
Never turn a light on in a riot. Just like bugs, the guys doing the beat-downs are drawn to light.

When storm chasing, bring a jacket, even if it's 90 degrees out.

1. You can train your baby/toddler to laugh when they fall down. Don't freak out when your kid falls unless they've bumped the back of their head or there is visible blood (even then, stay calm, but be concerned and comforting). Smile, and say something like, "Oops!" and chuckle. Kids freak out because their caretakers freak out. If you stay calm and don't make a big deal out of it, they will stay calm.

2. If there is blood, distraction works wonders. While you clean and bandage the kid up, ask them what their favorite foods are or what their favorite sport is. Ask open-ended questions that can lead to other questions. Do they like pie? What kind of pie? and so on. For kids who can't speak yet, relocate them to a spot near a window and play a game of I Spy while administering first aid.

3. Having first aid/CPR skills is of vital importance. If you don't have them, you should. Make sure you get the CPR class with AED training.

4. Cut adolescents some slack. They are relearning social skills. With the onset of puberty, adolescents have to figure out how to maintain peer relationships with the introduction of hormones. Don't you remember how hard that was?

I have a whole bunch, but I think that's enough for now.

If you have any natural stone surfaces in your home, floors, counter tops, showers etc.. the sealer that was used will not protect the stone from acids, ammonia & alcohol. It will protect it from small spills that you can clean up quickly. Use a coaster, wipe your feet and always remember to maintain and re-seal your stone surfaces once a year.

I'm a pediatric hospice/palliatice care social worker.
I've learned a LOT.

1. Never wait to say something important.
2. Never doubt that what you have to say is important to someone.
3. Never let your own needs get in the middle of someone else's dying process.
4. People are going to die whether you're around or not. Your involvment in those persons' lives and the lives of their loved ones can either be a good one or not so good one. You decide.
5. Kids are way smarter than all of us.
6. They know you are there. (Plus, if you say something after they stop breathing and they start again, they might bust you for "talking shit". It happens.)
7. You can't be there all the time for everyone. And half of the people in your life don't want you there anyway. So get over it.
8. A phone call is never wrong. Showing up at the house with food can be. But a phone can be answered or ignored. Suck it up.
9. Death isn't always ugly. Sometimes it's pretty and peaceful. And morticians can make it HIDEOUS.
10. You have to have a sense of humor about illness, bodily functions, death, etc. Other people do not. :lol:

If you have half of a brain, working in the armored industry is a waste of potential.

Computer Jockey:

1. Backup, for the love of god and EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY, BACK YOUR SHIT UP! You have 4 years of .pdf files and emails sitting in your inbox? Oh, you didn't know that MS Outlook has a size limit on their .pst files (2 gig). You know what the fix is for that, a program that clips off the end of your file to make it small enough to be opened again with no chance of getting that 25 meg back. If you made it, back it up! If you downloaded it and don't want to again, BACK IT UP! 10 mintues a day backing up your data, you might save you alot of time and effort/your ass/your job.

Cook/Chef:

1. STOP BEING PICKY! Yeah, yeah, you might be allergic to pine nuts, that's ok to ask for no pine nuts in your pasta. If you think you don't like them, Eat the fuckers anyway. Line cooks are some of the most underpaid employees on the planet for the work they do. Think about the guy cooking your fish on a friday night at a nice resturant (not fucking chillis/applebees/TGIF) and the 100+ orders he has put out in the last hour. He's trying to keep everything under control and all the plates looking nice for the expo chef. Then he gets your ticket; extra pasta, light sauce, no pinenuts, add olives, no scallots, add red onions, pancetta on the side. You know the first words out of this guy mouth is? WHAT THE FUCK CHEF? WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE GUYS?!? He's not going to like you and he is NOT going to cook your food to the best of his abilities. You fucked up his chi, his flow, his mojo. You are going to get a shit plate, just good enough to pass inspection. Don't be picky, eat what you are served.

2. Don't order well done steaks, you just have officially paid $25 bucks for beef jerky. Most likely you are getting this shitty end of the steak cause you are eating shoe leather anyway. Blood is good for you.

I work at a non-profit in/near downtown San Jose.

1) Learn to know and love the copy machine. Learn it's in and outs, learn it's quirks, and never, ever forget that it's just a machine. I've seen some of the most peaceful, laid back people I know almost go all "falling down" just because they put a paper perpendicular to what it should have been on the scanner or who didn't remember to hit "2-2", or double-sided.

2) Park in a place that is easily viewable from a busy street. My Eclipse was probably broken into a dozen times over the course of a year parking in the back parking lot. Admittedly it was a very ostentatious vehicle, but really there's no reason to risk it even if you drive a beater.

3) Fast food restaurants love to pump food smells into the air to attract business. To battle this, if you can help it, never bring something bland for lunch and never forget lunch. One or two small visits to Taco Bell or McDonalds can turn into once or twice a week. Combine a regular intake of fast food with a sedentary desk job and you're looking down the barrel of obesity.

Can I add to this?

Keep a non-perishable emergency lunch at work if you can--for those days when you're running late, don't feel like making a lunch, or happen to forget it at home. Keep all you need handy as well: a can opener, dishes, a kettle, whatever.

This has saved me so many times. It helps having a microwave/kettle available.

Not specific to any line of work in particular but related to your suggestions:

Keep a clean pair of underwear, a clean pair of socks, and a towel in one of your desk drawers.
Trust me you never know when it will come in handy, and it may be never, but when you need those things you will be damned happy they are available.:thumbsup:

Oh, and keep a stick of deodorant as well. For those days you bloody well forget to put it on!

Always make sure the person who ordered a production spot..actually knows what their system can play.

stupid..leightronix......grr

1) I watch TV for a living. I watch a lot of television. It's my job to find the good stuff out there. Everyone knows good TV when they see it but not many can explain why it's good. The best way to learn this is to watch bad television. A lot of bad television. There is nothing like seeing bad content to place good content in relief.

2) When dealing with contracts always read everything twice.

3) When interviewing subjects remember that the interview is about them. Ask your question and let them talk. And don't forget to listen! They might say something cool.

4) When recording your interviews, make sure you nod your head rather than saying, "yes" or "hmmm". People don't want to hear your grunting.

I work for an automotive extended service contract company

1. There is no such thing as a "bumper to bumper" extended warranty and the warranty never covers everything, no matter what the salesperson tells you.

2. For the love of God do not buy an extended warranty from a telemarketer! I cannot stress this enough! You will pay more money for less coverage this way.

I can't tell you where I work.

1. Trust no one.

2. If you have to ask, you don't need to know.

3. Asking forgiveness sometimes works better than asking permission. Except when it's your boss.

4. It's always purchasing's fault. Blame purchasing.

5. Always have a plan B. Maybe a plan C & D.

Cable Industry:

1: Do not use store bought splitters or cables with anything that hooks up to the cable system, from your vcr to tv is fine, but that's about it.
They simply cause problems for you and the rest of the system by losing signal and bringing noise into the system. The store bought splitters are nothing but copper wire inside a metal casing, this does nothing for signal loss or shielding and majority of them are giant shorts that will cause you problems, you wouldn't put wire something up with the positive and negative touching, so why would you do that here?
The current ones the company provides are fully shielded circuit boards that gain no noise, do not lose any signal, and do not short in any way (older ones from the early 90s and before were just like the store bought ones).
Besides they are provided free, take advantage of them. Also if you use the store bought stuff and end up having problems for us to come out and fix, not only have you spent the $ to buy the stuff but also the $ for the service call for us to fix it, when you could just pay the $ for us to do it right the first time.

2: Gold connectors, splitters, etc. is not better it's worse, you are not passing signal through the outside shielding, it's not a positive negative system, it's a signal on the center conductor and the rest is shielding. Gold only attracts more outside noise into the system, don't spend the extra money for something that is going to make things worse.

3: If you want additional outlets ran, call and have the company do it for the above reasons. It only costs about $20 for it to be done right, versus you paying the same or more for the materials and then having someone come out to put proper connections on the line you ran and a proper splitter that isn't going to screw up your signal.
Cost of company doing it = about $20,
Cost of you doing it and having to have the company come behind you to fix it = $50+ And your time.

4: We only support everything up to our equipment, if your having a problem with your VCR/DVD working with your TV, your on your own, we will not fix it for you. It is your problem, we have nothing to do with it. Same thing with your computer, router, etc. We support from the line outside up to the line going to your equipment, once it gets to a piece of your equipment (computer, router, tv, etc.) It's up to you to have that work right, we are not going to fix your computer, or repair your tv, or configure your router for you, unless you happened to order home networking in which case the router your using is company equipment and we support that.

5: When you get a time frame, say 2-4pm that is the arrival time only not the timeframe we will start at and be done by. So many people do not understand that. Most people get the impression that we will arrive at 2 and be done by 4 and get upset when we show up at 3:45 and aren't done by 4 when it typically takes a hour per install on average. If you have to leave towards the end of the timeframe reschedule it for a date and time you have more time.

6: Related to #5. When we give you a time frame, please be there, you already ok'd it and told us you would be there when you schedule the appointment. Do not get upset that we do not call you 30-45 minutes before we arrive. The way jobs are assigned is when someone frees up and is in the area they get the next closest job that needs to be done in that time frame. Normally when we get the job to go to your appointment we just got off a job around the corner, down the street, or less than 5 minutes away. We do not have the time to call you 30-45 minutes before we arrive because if we called you, by the time you picked up we'd be in front of your house and we are not going to sit there for a half hour waiting for you when you said you'd be home and your not.

I know some of that is venting, but there is some good advice there to make the world a happier place if everyone understands how things work a little better. Thank you for reading.

Actor/Playwright. I'm going to give tips on how to survive theatre:

-Do it yourself. Life is too short to wait around for others to call you. Make your life happen for yourself. So many people I know believe that staying on the course will get you somewhere but the only gaurentee that you'll be doing work that is significant to you is to call your own shots (as much as humanly possible). Trust me.

-Know your limitations; personally, physically, sexually, etc. There is nothing worse then getting a chance in life that you've worked hard for and finding out you are uncomfortable with the work you are being asked to do. Do not put yourself in a position where you have to make serious character compromises.

-Sleep is only important if you don't want to succeed. I haven't slept in years.

-Never be late, do your work; professionalism will get you future work. I know that seems par for life, but people tend to confuse professionalism with being polite in a business as social as ours. It isn't personal (unless you make it that), it's business; either way the business aspect doesn't change. Do your job first.

-Don't sleep with the stage manager. Yes. She/he takes care of your every whim and need. They are always there to support you and catch you when you fall. Yes; It is nice. It is their job though. They will not have a cue to cue mock of your life. There will be no dress run if you fuck them.

-Art is subjective; don't be a snob.

And some general things that you should know about theatre (in my opinion).

-Theatre is not for elitists. Theatre is for humanity. Are you human? Then art is for you! No one says you have to discuss A.E. Housman or drink ironic alcoholic beverages. That is a scene; it is not art. There is a difference and any good artist knows the line.

-There are several different kinds of theatre. Don't go and see Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and decide what musicals are. Don't go see Lion In The Streets and think "What the fuck is going on!? Theatre is fucking ridiculous!?" Take chances; it's worth it.

-Yes, it is rude that you have your cell phones on. I bring this up, not because the ring is on and it's annoying and distracting, but your phone being on "vibrate" for the show fucks with some of the more complex LX and sound equipment. You are literally disrupting and hindering our work. We are being paid. It's like me coming to your IT job and unplugging your computer and complaining about how shitty the your work is.


There is more. I won't force that upon you. Great thread; really great.

To add to this - a screen shot can be just as good, because you can't stuff up copying the error message if you make a screen shot. Pressing the Print Screen button and pasting into a word doc is pretty simply done and can save heaps of time.

On the other side of the coin - if you're pissed off at a colleague, and have drafted an expletive filled email that is likely to sear their skin off, don't send it - go have a coffee then come back and revise it first... to add more expletives (just kidding).

Do not commit suicide, for so many reasons. Someone will miss you even if you think not and you will ruin their lives and their loved ones' lives, as well your own.

I learned a lot of things from the military:

1. Anything important should be tied down. Anything really important should be attached to your body in such a way that it won't be lost if you are to fall out of a plane in the middle of the night.

2. Keeping MRE entree pouches against your ribs in subzero weather ensures that you'll have a warm meal later. I used to keep a #7 real close to my heart.

3. 123-cell batteries, Red Bull, 550 cord rolls, and multitools are the best wampum ever. Somebody always wants them and is willing to trade for 'em.

4. M112 works better if you cut the block in half and stack the halves on top of each other.

5. Anybody wearing a lot of high speed GI Joe gear that has a matching camo pattern or isn't filthy is a probably a douchebag and should be treated as such.

6. The hardest part of any deployment is coming home.
-----Added 6/2/2009 at 02 : 40 : 19-----
Armored industry? You mean those breadboxes that move money?

Restaurant industry:

1. Servers like having you order food how you want it. We'd rather you get a meal that YOU like prepared how YOU want it, than to have you spend the first 10 minutes of your meal picking things out, only to have your food sent back because it's cold. Please, if you want no onions, don't be afraid to say "No onions"!

2. Going along with the post above by LordEden, don't make your order TOO complicated. The chefs in most restaurants have a bunch of pre-made items, sauces, garnishes, etc. that are all put together to form your dish. It's kind of annoying when they have to remove and add all kinds of things. Restaurants have a menu for a reason. Besides, you might actually LIKE the onions you've been removing from your food this whole time!

3. 4:00 pm is shift exchange. If you want your service at a reasonable length of time, come in either at 3:00 or 4:30. If you come in at 3:30, the server has to stay until you leave. If you come in at 4:00, you risk not being seated in a section where the server is ready for you.

4. If you're in the mood for a salad, try getting a side salad and adding chicken to it. How many times do you REALLY eat all the lettuce in a full sized salad? Where I work, the menu salads are around $10-12 whereas a side dinner salad is only $4. You can add a full chicken breast for $2.99 more. Often, you can add other things like tomatoes, onions, and croutons for free. Cheese will cost you!

5. When in doubt, ask your server. He or she can recommend items on the menu to you, and also ways to make things cheaper. Seriously. We're not in the business to rip you off. A lot of times we know ways to combine or modify existing menu items so that it results in a cheaper bill overall.

Winemaker...

1. There's a lot more than just fermented grape juice in your bottle of wine.

2. Don't trust what the back label says.

3. Try the $5 wine, it could well be better than a $20 bottle.

For my first post, I offer these gems from my profession (with the caveat that I cannot, of course, reveal my employer):

1. Always be aware where you are. No one can help you if you cannot help yourself, and cannot articulate or communicate where you are or what is happening.

2. Stay calm and carry on. Don't Panic - you are only hurting yourself if you lose it.

3. Never talk to the police. A prosecutor can get a conviction on some of the most benign things you might say, even if you are innocent. Don't lie, don't tell the truth - just plead the 5th.

4. Be polite always - especially to law enforcement. (Refer back to 2 and 3.) Stay calm, don't use abusive language or sarcasm, don't make sudden movements.

5. Don't get drunk or high if you are going to be where there might be trouble. Don't make telephone calls when drunk. Don't try to make reports when drunk. Especially - Don't Drive Drunk. Drink when and where it is safe, and sober up before you have to do anything serious.

6. Keep your receipts. Document, document, document. Always have a lawyer (and ask for him.)

7. Take responsibility for yourself. No one else can look out for you all of the time. It's your country - get involved.

8. Call the right agency, follow directions. You aren't going to magically get instant help or your demands met if you consistently ask the wrong people - even if you threaten them or drop names (you will get on their shit list). Brush up on your civics, be aware of jurisdictions and how the various levels of government work - become familiar with whom does what.

9. Don't posture. No one cares how 'big' a man you think you are, or how 'bad' a woman. You aren't on the silver screen, and nobody is watching that matters. (You aren't going to get an Oscar - but you might get tasered.) The best place to be when there is trouble, is far away. Best to use one's feet before one's mouth or fist.

10. Choose your friends carefully. They'll get you into some right proper shit if you don't. You become like whomever you hang around with.

Hahaha, I like all the secretive stuff in this thread. It's funny.

As if a cursory Google search couldn't reveal half of our real names, pictures, etc.

If you spend too much time looking for your favorite lucky pen,
the secret to the universe that was revealed to you in a dream,
quickly vaporizes away.

Keep a voice activated tape recorder with you at all times.

Retail:
1. Nobody loves your kids as much, or thinks they are as darling, as you do. :D

2. When a child has a candy wrapper in their hand and asks if you have trash can ... pick up the trash can so they can put it into the trash. If you stick your hand out for the wrapper, the little darling will stick a blob of wet, sticky, chewed bubble gum onto the palm of your hand so that they can eat the candy they just bought/unwrapped.

3. Yes, we know the prices of XYZ are different at Cosco. If you want to buy 1000 of them at Cosco, go for it. We sell them individually.

4. If you think an employee is ignoring you, they might just be waiting for you to hang up your danged cell phone before they finish helping you. Some people get angry when you interrupt their phone calls; others get angry when you wait for them to hang up. We can't win. We know this.

Quality Control ~ Printers
1. If your new printer already has a print count of approximately 400 pages, consider yourself lucky. Your printer was one of the very few that made it into the lab that does more extensive testing. They checked for paper jams, errors, print quality for both text and graphics, print speed, and a host of other things. And it passed.

2. If you turn out the lights and notice there is light coming from inside your printer, don't panic and grab a fire extinguisher. A few (expensive) models that we worked with had a light inside that helped keep the ink warm.

3. If your printer uses solid ink (like blocks or crayons) don't turn it off overnight if you plan to use it soon after you turn it back on. Some models take quite a while to re-melt the ink. Calling customer service won't make it melt any faster.

5. Laser printers ~ if you get toner dust on your clothing when changing the cartridge, DONT try to wash it off with water or rub it off. Try using a small vacuum, or try shaking it off if a small spill.

Forestry

1. Tie flagging tape to everything. If you are not wearing it, it can be lost. More is better.

2. Do not travel a forest service road unless you have a death wish. Getting smoked by 20,000lbs of timber truck head on has got to hurt.

3. We get it: you care about the environment. So do we, shut up and learn something. We are not "industry shills" being taught by bribed academics. Furthermore, we did go to university for 4 years and this is a real job.

4. Do not walk on fallen trees. You will injure yourself.

Chef...


1. Never fry bacon naked

I was a Boy Scout - I learned "Be Prepared" as a small child, and still live by it.

That is what I did today - the pot of Japanese noodles that I keep several of in the bottom drawer of my file cabinet.

My sports bag lives in the boot of my car partly for this reason.

To add to the other end of the equation, don't come into a restaurant 5 minutes before closing. NO ONE wants to wait on you, the cooks most likely have everything stored away and cleaned up. The kitchen is ready to shut down and pack it in for the night, not cook another meal for some jerkoff who can't tell time. The servers are trying to get their tables out the door to cashout and do sidework/roll silver, only the closer/bartender is left on duty. If you have to ask "Are you guys still open?/Are you guys still serving food?" go to fucking mcdonald's.

I know it's the WK and he is concise and to the point, but I wanted to hear him rant. I always love hearing other people in the trenches (kitchens) give a shoutout.

Now you tell me!!! The bastards hurt like a motherfucker!!!!!

//Threadjack!

Rainforest research:

1. Before touching or leaning on a tree, check it thoroughly.

2. If the specimen you're holding looks like it's breaking free of the forceps, drop both of them. This will cost you one data point. Failing to drop them in time will cost you many data points, as well as a good deal of pain.

3. Always carry a flashlight with you. It's easy to get delayed, and the forest gets dark fast.

4. Those tiny points of light in your flashlight beam aren't dewdrops, they're spider eyes.

5. Don't even try to stay dry; wear clothes that dry quickly once it stops raining.

6. Your sense of smell can save you a great deal of trouble.

7. A 3-inch deep puddle looks the same as a 3-foot deep puddle.

I'd like to counter that one. Engineering in Information Technology student here.

Reformatting a 3-5 year old computer will help at first because it's fresh and starting from a clean slate again, like it was when you got it, but that's because it doesn't have what was on it before the reformat. Once the user starts to reinstall the programs that they normally use, services are added and automatically start upon boot, as well as programs running in the background (ex: antivirus), which can slow down the computer once they are all piled up again. And also, programs nowadays eat up so much more memory, so unless the user is using all outdated programs from 2005 and such, things are going to be slow again for them in a short amount of time.

Yeah, you can get a pretty nice computer for $1000 these days.

It's just as likely someone on an old computer would benefit more from a RAM upgrade than a formatting.

Reformatting will eliminate OS decay, so the computer will be faster than it was, even if they install everything they used to have after a week. That said, a 3-5 year old pc is not going to be as fast as a current $1,000 PC. . . Especially with PC prices meaning you can build a $1,000 gaming rig that will handle any new software you throw at it.

Okay fine...



1. If it's a signature dish or a special for the night. Don't try to change it. I worked hard on it. I'm the chef. You're the fat fuck that thinks he knows better.

2. If you ask for 'sauce on the side' I'm gonna dip my finger in it. Then the server is gonna dip his finger in it.

3. Your server is making up everything he/she is saying about that glass of wine they recommended.

4. You can't tell the temperature of lamb just by looking at it. Don't act you're the only one in the world that can. Same with Veal, Pork, or Chicken...

5. If you snap or wave to get your servers attention, they will bitch about it in the kitchen. I'm gonna make sure your food takes forever.

6. When your server says that he/she will be happy to fix the mistake the kitchen has made with your meal; they are lying to you. Either they made the mistake or you're a fucktard and forgot what you ordered. I don't make mistakes.

7. Anthony Bourdain is God.

Two quick questions for the chefs and food servers:

I don't understand why asking for sauce on the side causes a problem.
Is the particular dish made up ahead of time with a certain amount of sauce
already entirely blended in?

If you need to get a servers attention, what would suggest to do after waiting for 15 or 20 minutes?
I have found that trying for eye contact and a very small hand wave never seemed
to bother anyone. There's a big difference between that, and waving both arms
frantically like your directing an airplane landing.

Sorry for the off topic questions, but I would like to see more satisfied chefs/food servers,
and satisfied customers.

He is certainly cool as hell. And this from a cultural perspective as well, as he is neither condescending nor disrespectful to the places he visits. He never treats things as a freak show ("look how weird their food is") and he approaches things in a non-ethnocentric way. His show on Lebanon (when Israel started its attack) was one of the most interesting shows Ive ever seen.


Now, since I don't want to threadjack, let me add my insights as well. I am an economist/stock broker turned sociologist/academic:

- If you are investing in the stock market, beware of overconfidence. Even the best economists in the world lose money or go broke. The fact that you've made money on the stock market during an expansion doesnt mean that your "system" works, that you are good at it, or that you can beat the market when things go south. Both prior to the 2000 crash and to this latest recession, people would always tell me of how much money they made on the market, how easy it was, blahblahblah. Most of them are undergoing serious financial hardship right now. So always be mindful of the risks, and dont risk what you cant stand to lose.

- This is for the women. Beware of overworked gynecologists. One of the grants I was involved in was a major research project for the CDC related to HPV vaccination. One of the shocking things we learned during our research is that there is a very significant number of false negatives for HPV from pap tests mostly caused by "worker fatigue."

- As bad as it sounds, who you know matters more than what you know for most careers. The biggest difference between going to harvard and going to local state U is who you meet there, not what you learn.

- Science (be it social science or "hard" science) is messy and complex. Don't make major decisions regarding your health, lifestyle, career or family life based on news reports of scientific results. Oprah, journalists, talk show hosts and so on often either get it wrong or oversimplify things to the point of being useless.

- If you are looking to make money off of derivatives markets instead of just using it to hedge against risks, keep in mind that in the end they are not very different from gambling in Vegas. In fact, before the Chicago Board Options Exchange existed, there were numerous gambling houses in Chicago taking bets on what essentially has become the futures market.

(possibly former employee of)Family-owned business:

No matter how good you are at your craft, the best friend's kid they hired will be better.
When those family members get into a row and try to get you involved, politely and half-jokingly state you can't get involved.
Bosses don't want to hear what they're doing wrong, even if it means running the business into the ground. If they ask for suggestions, give positive ones, not "well, maybe if you hadn't spent $xxxx on yyyy...."
If you find incriminating evidence about a boss, don't tell the other one. Save it for those "special" times.(hehehehe) Or let the other one find out on their own.
Be prepared to be the first one to be let go. They don't want to face their best friend after firing their kid, so the kid stays.

:lol: Pretty much.



I'd also like to add, that at least from the server's point of view, if you leave a truly excellent tip (as in, more than 20%, getting up into the 40% range), pretty much anything you do will be forgiven. And we WILL remember you the next time you come in. Conversely, if you run us constantly, ask for everything on the side, let your kids make a mess, camp out at the table, and leave a really BAD tip...we'll remember that, too.

Oh, and just a personal pet peeve of mine... when your server asks "how are you tonight?" replying with "I'll have a coke," is just annoying and rude. A blank stare, or flat-out ignoring the server when they ask a question is also annoying and rude.

I think everything else has been covered... but like I said, I'm pretty laid-back... you can do every annoying thing in the book, as long as you take care of me (monetarily speaking), all is forgiven.


Edit: Wait, thought of one more. If you go to church, please, please, PLEASE do not leave those little brochures. They're a complete waste of paper... no one takes them seriously, and they get pitched immediately.

Pfft, I'm not even a woman and that scares me. "Worker fatigue" huh? False negatives are supposed to be a fraction of false positives in most tests and "significant number" sounds all bad.

Of course, different studies and different methods yield slightly different numbers, and I wont pretend to be an expert in medicine, as I was just part of the team that was reviewing the numbers of the existing literature and so on. But let me clarify a bit here: improper "sampling" of the cervix during a pap smear, or improper handling of the sample allowing it to dry off before analysis leads to what some have found to be a 20% false negative rate overall.

Now, the false negative rate is for HPV, not cervical cancer, so if women are screened often enough, or if their tests also include hpv-dna testing, that means that even in the case of a false negative there is still plenty of time to act before the lesions become cancerous. On the other hand, some researchers have reported that up to 50% of women with invasive cervical cancer had false negative tests for hpv prior to the diagnosis of the cancer.

Noodle covered most of the ones that I would have (since we work in the same industry there)

So here are some tips from my other job you never know when you might need some etra money to pay off those college fees after all ladies.

1) Peep show booths are hot (not sure about from the guys side) if you're going to be in there long term wear something short and or light. I have seen girls from other clubs who have had to be taken to hospital from heat stroke at the end of a shift. One of the best ways to combat this is to have a fold up kiddy pool and a bikini stashed in your locker, you make just as much money cause the water show is a novelty and you don't injure yourself due to the heat.

2) The majority of guys don't care what you dance like on the pole so no those pole dancing lessons won't help you score tips. They want you to take off your clothes, do so within a set amount of time or there will be complaints and you will be fired.

3) Remember your regulars! I can't stress that enough! These guys will remember you, remember them, when you're in the crowd stop and give them a hug or a kiss on the cheek, the fact that you know who they are and the fact that you interact with the regulars will not only impress them and make you more money but will encourage other guys to come back. I have seen mildly attractive girls make more money then stunners because they knew how to work the crowd.

4) Despite what Bart Simpson has to say in high heels you can't necessarily walk heel toe, specially in super high heels. Walk flat footed, lifting the entire foot and then placing it flat back down will make you more stable and is MUCH easier on your ankles.

5) Yes, corsets are hot and yes you see them on TV but unless you're doing a long show on stage they take too long to take off. This relates back to tip number 2.

6) Having a dildo in the booth with you will score you more peep show then if you don't - even if you don't use it for ages people will continue putting money in. This also works if you just have a large peep show stage with two girls on it and split the profits.

7) Be nice to the management and the bouncers, the guys take care of you so you take care of them. Doesn't have to be anything over the top just learn their names say thankyou when they do something nice or offer to buy them a coke or red bull during a long night. You'll be recommended for more private dances if the people behind the counter making the bookings like you. Also related to this is NEVER try to convince them to watch your show specifically, many of them will be fine but some guys have a problem meeting a girls eyes directly after they've watched you grind yourself up and down a stage.

8) Have different outfits planned ahead, sometimes you will make no money in an outfit because it just doesn't emphasise the right things. Try something else. Specially if you are going to try for costumes.

9) Don't take it personally if someone prefers one of the other dancers or she makes more money then you. It is not a personal thing. They chose to watch someone who is more their physical type naked rather then you, the same thing happens the other way around.

10) For your own physical safety don't try to blackmail the clientele. Your bouncers will not like it, other dancers will not like it and if someone nasty (someone VERY nasty) who most likely owns the place or knows the people who do finds out about it you will be lucky to end up fired and unable to find work in that industry ever again, if you're not you'll end up in traction.

Yes, yes he is. God walks around backwater towns with a cigarette in one hand and cup of local homemade liquor in the other. God speaks the truth at all times.

Most of the time, a sauce is made to order (unless you eat corporate). As stated by WK in his post, he is the chef, you are the fat fuckwad that thinks he knows better. This is what you say to a chef when you order his speical SOS (sauce on the side) that he came up with and made the sauce to bring out all the flavors of the dish; I know better than you. If you get something from a fine-dining restaurant, eat it how the chef wants you too. You need to think about it this way. If you go to a dinner party (or grandma's house) for dinner, would you look the person in the eye and tell them to change their meal just for you after they spent the day making it for you? Try telling your mother/grandma that the sauce on her meatloaf should be on the side, cause you don't know if you will like it. She will give you a mean old lady look and put in on the meatloaf and serve it to you. You better eat every last bite of that meal or you won't be coming back.

I think WK means when do the wave/shake/point, you know like saying "Over here, yeah you, I need this shit now" with your hand. Two things you should think about before you get angry with a server. One, how busy is the restaurant? Can you see your server running around getting items for customers, running food from the kitchen, and at the same time getting more tables? He/She is most likely knows your table needs salads/drinks/refills and will get to you the minute they can. Just chill. If your drink is empty, the place is slow, and your server is flirting with the tall busboy in the corner? They suck, you have some right to complain.

Two, have you worked in the restaurant industry as a cook/waitron? No? Fuck off, you have no idea what the job is like. Work as a waiter for 6 months then you are allowed to bitch.

If I'm aware that the sauce contains an ingredient that I don't like but the main portion of the dish is something that I'll normally eat then, "YES," I have been known to ask people in their own homes to put the sauce on the side (one of these people who I have deigned to offend is a very respected chef here in Memphis). Besides, I'm not a big sauce person. Even when I ate meat I prefer a very light amount of sauce. Now I usually just have a salad. I've never gotten a mean look from my parents/grandparents or my chef friend. In fact, most of them understand where I'm coming from. I know my tastes a lot better than them.

This is not a slight on the chef ... normally the sauces are good for what they are. I just don't like so much sauce. Peoples taste buds are all different. I taste sweet and salty a lot more than my wife. She loves sauces, especially fruity ones, I can't stand them for the most part.

My answer to most chefs, including the one here in town who is a good friend, is "Get over yourself." I've said it to him several times. You are in the SERVICE industry; expect to have your vision compromised from time-to-time by people like me who don't like treacly sauces covering up whatever the main ingredient is.


Yes, I have. I have worked in various capacities in the restaurant industry -- both front of house and back of house. Although, I've never worked as a chef, only the sandwich guy or the soup/salad guy; dishwasher and waiter. Never worked in a so-called "fine" restaurant though. I worked in a vegetarian restaurant for a while ... wouldn't call it fine, but the food was really, really good.

People are allowed to bitch regardless of where they have worked. I'm sure you've complained about some service you've gotten (perhaps from an ISP or cable provider, maybe the phone company) from an industry you've never worked in.

Tip from my industry:

1) Don't use the deleted items folder in Outlook as a storage place for email. You'd be surprised by the number of people who do this (at least at my employer).

Uh, on the sauce thing,
all I was trying to convey was, YES! I wanted the sauce with the dish,
but why couldn't I have some control as to how much of it I put on.

When my Mother made our family spaghetti, she did not force
any of us to have a specific amount of sauce on it.

I too have worked in the food industry.

I cannot see in the least how my post sounded like I was bitching.

You told me to fuck off, LordEden.

That was rude and offensive.

You shouldn't be in the food service industry.
You shouldn't assume others haven't worked in the food service industry.
Some of us have physical reactions to ingredients in the sauces/gravies/whatever tops the dish and shouldn't have to be dictated to as to where or how much we get.
And I know I've been in enough restaurants to know the difference between staff that's working like mad and staff that would rather hang out and gossip than check on their (tipping) customers.

That's just the thing though. I may know nothing about cooking but who the fuck are you to tell me what I know and what I dont know?? I know for a fact that some sauces don't go well with most of the dishes they were originally intended for so why the hell do you take offense? I am p[aying for the food, I can order and customize as much as I want.

Here's why I hate restuarants and service driven businesses ... most fucks that work there don't realize that we PAY the bills!!!

I know we are way off topic here, and I apologize for being part of it.
Perhaps this discussion deserves its own thread.

thing is that in a resto it's easy to tell whether the chef's any good or not.
the proof's in what you put out, not in the shit you talk.
it's like that with most anything.

roachboy's helpful tip, based his years of teaching:

don't assume the people you're interacting with are stupid.

So start one...


And use the PM I sent you on the subject. I did a far better job explaining things.

Sorry, I usually delete my PMs shortly after I receive them.
Nothing personal.
If someone else wants to start a thread, go for it.

I should add something towards the OP.

I don't really have a 'line' of work at the moment.
I am on Soc. Sec. disability since 2003

I write, I paint, I take photos,
I help out others when I can.

My unusual tip might be on the order of:
Stay in the moment.
Trust your intuition.
There is beauty all around you,
even in the dark places.

It could just be me but I didn't read LE's post as an angry unprovoked attack. I think he/she was speaking more so about a hypothetical "fat fuck" annoying customer who insists upon demanding that things are done exactly to their specifications.

He/she has been here for too long not to know that things don't work that way around here.

LordEden: Unless that Chef has MY taste buds in his mouth he can respect my wishes and serve my food the way I desire. OR I will happily take my money elsewhere as he obviously isn't interested in it.

I understand how annoying customers can be, but ultimately the restaurant business is about giving people what they want and making money doing so. If someone is unreasonable, simply refuse.

I was in litigation support, namely records procurement. My comments pertain mostly to medical records & related billing records, but can also apply to employment and payroll records.

If you are a plaintiff in a law suit, be careful about signing blank authorizations, especially if they contain wording allowing a copy to be as valid as an original. Attorneys, even the one representing you, will usually ask you to sign several blank forms allowing them to gather your records. Even if you sign only authorizations that are directed to specific medical providers, be aware that those authorizations can be manipulated and altered to obtain records from other providers (don't ask me how I know this). Specifying a time period for which the authorization is valid is useful, but that can also be altered.

If you are concerned about making certain that specific records will provided only with your knowledge and consent, file a notice with your medical provider stating that your records can only be released with an authorization with your original signature. Ask, demand if necessary, that said notice be placed in your medical file.

I could ramble on, but I'd rather respond to specific questions and/or comments, if there are any.

I have no unusual tips. Just practical.

I work in pediatrics.

1) DO NOT bring your kids' food in with you. Did it occur that there are other children who may have severe allergic reactions, even to crumbs?

2) It's extremely rude to be on your cell phone, or even texting, while we're trying to take a history on your child. Please stop, otherwise we stand there looking like morons waiting for you to get off the phone.

That's all :)

As an artist I can understand where Eden is coming from.

His job isn't entertaining; he isn't your host. If you don't like food at a certain restaurant, don't go. These dishes are creations. I don't get why people think it's okay to go to restaurants and dictate the Chef's work. It wouldn't be okay anywhere else.

There has to be a line between customer service and pandering. A carpenter can change a structural decision but who's to say how sound it is, or how he/she will look when the house collapses. They choose the tastes specifically. But you choose to pick at it and then it's the Chef's fault that it sucks. Unfair.

I get physical limitations NG but most people do it out of "taste" not because they are allergic to something.

I had a waiter refuse my girlfriend ketchup at a high end italian restaurant in Toronto. She was annoyed. I got it. Who wants to make art and then have someone paint over it with something that is cheap and tasteless.

Another tip from somewhere I used to work:

There are cooks who are artists and there are cooks who are cooks. There are a lot of the latter who think they are the former.

Continuing the emo chef / cook threadjack:

While I can appreciate art, I generally don't think of anything I have to scrape from my backside with two-ply the next morning as too artistic.

...

Hmm. I did have to eat a lot of army food. That may have killed my ability to appreciate it.

First off... I'm not talking about casual dinning places such as Chili's or Applebees or TGI Fridays... These places are there to serve you what you want.


That's not my style of cooking. (I'm about to brag) I was the sous chef at Denver's only 5 Star restaurant not three two months out of culinary school. I've cooked for several of Denver's sports stars. I just recently helped open Denver's newest and most unique restaurant. And starting in the Spring I will be teaching culinary arts at a small boutique school here in Denver.

I'm a classically trained chef. Now, I'm not saying that the guys in the kitchens at those casual dinning places aren't talented... I'm just saying it's a different world. The restaurants I've worked in you go to because you want to eat what the chef has created. Not because it's an easy place to stop and get a burger and a beer on your way home from work.

My server's aren't there just to pay their way through school. They are life-long servers that do what they do because they love it. Most would be surprised the training these people have gone through over the years. I've always been proud of them and will stand behind them. The same goes with any and every cook I've worked with.

Musician here:

Gigging:

1. Obviously, be on time. If the gig starts at 9p.m., you should have your gear set up by 8:45 or even earlier if there needs to be a band discussion over the set list, etc. On time is too late.

2. On accompanying: you are the accompanist, not the lead voice. When it comes to performance time, being right is not as important as making the lead voice sound right.

3. Have a set list. The best way to improve your live show is to have fast pacing between tunes. Also, if it is your gig and you have hired sidemen (i.e. it's not collaborative), don't ask your band "what they feel like playing." Just tell them.

4. Your time may never be good enough, but don't forget to relax.

Networking:

1. There's no need to bullshit or exaggerate about what you're up to. I once asked a drummer just out of college what his plans were and he replied by telling me he was gigging and in the studio "7 days a week," which wasn't answering the question. His time was lousy and I hadn't heard of him before and haven't heard of him since.

2. Be sensitive about the lack of money in music. Some stalwarts believe musicians should be paid by the clubs and don't work for under a certain amount. I respect that, but on the other hand, clubs can't or won't pay, and to reject them would vastly reduce the opportunities to get new music out on the scene. Whatever side of the pay issue you land on, it is important to realize that the community is made up of all sorts and you should respect the opinions of others.

3. Have a good handshake and don't be afraid to talk to other musicians. In fact, like in every other line of work, develop good social skills. My most recent beef: if you are facing someone, don't lean over and talk into their ear. Talk to their face! A guy did this to me last week and it was really annoying.

Teaching:

1. Our North-American culture has really bad time. There is an obsession with playing the right notes. That is why, when I am teaching a student, I almost never worry about pitch correction (I'm a pianist). They usually find it themselves and I save the smackdown for rhythm.

2. The balance between teacher interruption and letting mistakes go by is a difficult one to achieve but I err on the side of letting mistakes go by. Students need to have experience in the momentum of the piece. I can talk after they stop.

3. Counting out loud while you play is the best technique ever.

4. Students always have a higher capacity for repetition than I give them credit for... in the lesson anyways.

Wow, I ranted and ended up thread jacking. I came off real angry and didn't realize it at the moment. Ring, I wasn't telling you that, again I was ranting. I apologize for that.

//End ThreadJack (Hopefully)

Thank you.
I hope World's King's very well written post helped others to understand the difference
between types of dining experiences.

okay..back to the OP

I have been enjoying this thread,
who's next?

Not really. Any PC with 512 MB of RAM or more can be made as fast as a $5,000 PC today regardless of CPU, RAM quantity, or videocard. An older PC with 1 GB of RAM (still common in 3-5 year old PCs depending on who bought it) is impossible to detect from a brand new computer. If your PC is slow and it has 512 MB of ram or more then it is simply the user not knowing what they're doing. More RAM and a faster CPU can help cover up bloatware and user ignorance but any PC with 512 MB to 1 GB of RAM can be made lightning fast for as long as you want.

Negative. More RAM is sweeping dust under the rug. It will help short-term but a reformat will fix everything and for any duration you need it to.

A 3-5 year old PC can and will be as fast as a $5,000 PC bought today.

Of course PC gaming doesn't count in any of this but that's not what I meant in my OP anyway.

Sorry to nitpick but 50% of my current job is tweaking and constructing Windows images from scratch and I know how to make an old PC run fast and stay fast.

PS: Windows Vista obviously changes some things since it won't even run on less than 1 GB of RAM. But most people are still running XP so that is what this applies to.

Okay, I'll bite. I'm at a loss at how this works. An average car from the 1950s is not as fast as an average car from 2000. Besides erasing all the bullshit and "TSR" (don't know the modern term for it) programs, how is 1 GB of memory the same as 4? Like comparing gunshot wounds from a .22 and a 12 gauge.

My Compaq laptop from 2002 will never be as fast as my Toshiba laptop from 2008. The software requirements dictate that, don't they? A photo editing program that takes 10 minutes to load on the '02 loads in a minute on the '08.

If this is the case... what is the excuse for ubernerds buying new computers every other year? Shouldn't they know how to fix their rig?

I think what Lasereth is talking about is for casual users, those people who don't run into the three major processor drainers, (imo) which are graphic design (video editing, graphic manipulation, photoshop), database manipulation (or any kind of massive number crunching), and video games. The average user who checks email, uploads camera pictures, types in office, and does their taxes won't see a big difference between 3 gig of ram and 1 gig (if they are running XP, vista NEEDS that ram to run/screw up). I agree with Lasereth that a reformat can do wonders to a PC, I recommend one every 6 months depending on use and amount of users.

Ubernerds fall into the extreme user catagory, which means they need every ounce of processing power, HD space, and memory they can get out of it. Every new game that comes out has higher requirements that the last. That's why we have 8 fans in our PCs, watercooling systems, and HD raids when we really don't need 4 TB hds on RAID1.

I swear I'm not trying to threadjack again.

LordEden is exactly right. Newer hardware (including ram, CPU, videocards, and hard drives) are designed pretty much for 2 types of users: PC gamers and media creation/artist type users. Windows XP reached its maximum speed with around a 600 MHzish CPU and between 512 MB and 1 GB of RAM. You asked if 1 GB is as fast as 4 GB. The answer is yes.

It's almost a huge conspiracy/scam theory shit going on (PC hardware). If games and multimedia programs were never invented, only the OSs that are released every 5 years would push the boundaries of PC hardware.

If you aren't in these 2 types of users, it is impossible to tell the difference between a 600 MHz, 1 GB PC and a Core 2 Quad Q9550 with 4 GB of ram. I actually periodically get a few computer-savvy coworkers to come over to my desk and tell me which PC is the good one and they can't (the test subjects are usually a 512 MB PC and a 4 GB core 2 quad). If a computer with 512 MB to 1 GB of memory is slow, the OS is simply convoluted and needs to be tweaked and/or reformatted, regardless of the CPU speed/power, hard drive space, videocard, Internet connection, etc.

I laugh at the people who go into Best Buy or Dell stores and buy a $1,500 PC and say "hoo boy, this thing is blazing" when they have a 3 year old PC at home that has never been reformatted. What they don't put together is that the new PC is slow as shit after 6 months anyway so it is entirely software related.

If ANYBODY on TFP had a PC that was slow and had 512 MB of memory or more and gave it to me they would be outright stunned at how fast it can perform once it has been cleaned or reformatted.

Well, I agree that an old PC can be made much faster by clearing out the cobwebs. But as you said, the idea that a new PC and a 3-5 year old pc will perform equally on games and media creation is false. The people who aren't gaming or doing media creation generally just want a web portal, in which case, yes, a 3 year old box will be just fine. Seems we agree on everything, but just had a miscommunication ;)

Oh, and I, too, was not counting Vista because I'm assuming the PC in question is not owned by a masochist ;)

I'm a botanist.

If you want all of your plants of the same species to sprout at the same time, place them in a vial of water in a dark refrigerator for 48 hours before planting.

I just realized that using tip # 2 from the first post,
about shifting your gaze away from center under dim or poor lighting,
helped me drive home one night during one of the foggiest nights
I ever had to drive through.

I was on a rural country road, where stopping was not really an option.
The only way I could navigate those last 80 miles, was to shift my gaze
a little to the left, and then I could see the middle line of the road.

I could only see about six inches in front of the car,
but I could SEE it.

It's kinda like looking at the Pleiades,
you see them more clearly, when don't look directly at them.

Great Tip!