Plan9

I was in the military for a long weekend once and the thing I'll never forget is all the endless running and screaming of vulgar poetry. It makes me happy.

Example:

"Up jumped the monkey from the coconut grove
He was a bad motherfucker, you could tell by his clothes
He wore BDUs and a maroon beret
Screaming Airborne [insert job] lead the way!"

He put a 100 commies up against the wall
Made a ten dollar bet he could kill 'em all
He shot 98 'til his barrel turned blue
Then he pulled out his bayonet and stuck the other two!"

or

"Napalm sticks to kids
It sticks to their bellies
It sticks to their ribs!"

One of my favorites was:

"I can run to Fort Bragg just like this
All the way to Fayetteville and never quit
'Cause I'm A I, R B, O R, N E
Airborne! All the way! Good to go! Every day!"

The best part was when it got a little wacky.

"I can run to Fort Drum just like this
All the way to Canada where it's cold as shit"

or

"I can run to the Class 6 just like this
Drink Jack Daniels 'til it makes me sick"

(Class 6 is the liquor store on post where booze is cheaper than water)

or

"I can run to your mom's house just like this
Score a freaky MILF with a ring on her clit"

...

What is your favorite running cadence? Any interesting running cadence experiences?

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Slims

About the only time I ever have to sing cadences is at a school, but here are a couple of my favorites:



In fourteen hundred and ninety-two
A man whose name was Chris
Stood by the Trevi fountain
Indulging in a piss.

CHORUS:
His balls they were so round-o
His **** hung to the ground-o
That fornicating, copulating
son-of-a-***** Columbo.

Along did come the Queen of Spain
And glimpsing there his dong,
Forthwith was smitten with desire
And knew not right from wrong.

"Oh, Isabelle," Columbo said,
A-waving of his balls,
"The world is round as these are,
I feel that duty calls."

"Just wait a bit," said Isabella.
"And don't forget essentials,
For I've a mind to have a grind
And check on your credentials."

She gave her guest no time for rest,
The pace was fairly killing,
With legs apart he gave the tart
A cream and cherry filling.

For forty days and forty nights
He sailed the broad Atlantic,
Columbo and his scurvy crew
For want of a screw were frantic.

And when they got to Yankee land
They spied a Yankee harlot
When they came her **** was lilly-white
When they left her **** was scarlet.

With lustful shout they ran about
And practiced copulation
And when they left to sail away
They doubled the population.

And when his men pulled out again,
And reckoned all their score up,
They'd caught a pox from every box
That syphilized all Europe.









-----Added 29/1/2009 at 09 : 45 : 02-----
We shoot the sick, the young, the lame,
We do our best to maim,
Because the kills all count the same,
Napalm sticks to kids.

Chorus: Napalm sticks to kids,
Napalm sticks to kids.

Flying low across the trees,
Pilots doing what they please,
Dropping frags on refugees,
Napalm sticks to kids.

Goods in the open, making hay,
But I can hear the gunships say,
"There'll be no Chieu Hoi today,"
Napalm sticks to kids.

See those farmers over there,
Watch me get them with a pair,
Blood and guts just everywhere,
Napalm sticks to kids.

I've only seen it happen twice,
But both times it was mighty nice,
Shooting peasants planting rice,
Napalm sticks to kids.

Napalm, son, is lots of fun,
Dropped in a bomb or shot from a gun,
It gets the gooks when on the run,
Napalm sticks to kids.

Drop some napalm on a farm,
It won't do them any harm,
Just burn off their legs and arms,
Napalm sticks to kids.

CIA with guns for hire,
Montagnards around a fire,
Napalm makes the fire go higher,
Napalm sticks to kids.

I've been told it's not so neat,
To catch gooks burning in the street,
But burning flesh, it smells to sweet,
Napalm sticks to kids.

Children sucking on a mother's tit,
Wounded gooks down in a pit,
Dow Chemical doesn't give a ****,
Napalm sticks to kids.

Bombadiers don't care a bit,
Just as long as the pieces fit,
When you stuff the bodies in a pit,
Napalm sticks to kids.

Eighteen kids in a No Fire Zone,
Rooks under arms and going home,
Last in line goes home alone,
Napalm sticks to kids.

Chuck in a sampan, sitting in the stern,
They don't think their boats will burn,
Those damn gooks will never learn,
Napalm sticks to kids.

Cobras flying in the sun,
Killing gooks is lots of fun,
Get one pregnant and it's two for one,
Napalm sticks to kids.

Shoot civilians where they sit,
Take some pictures as you split,
All your life you'll remember it,
Napalm sticks to kids.

NVA are all hard core,
Flechettes never are a bore,
Throw those PSYOPS out the door,
Napalm sticks to kids.

Gather kids as you fly over town,
By throwing candy on the ground,
Then grease 'em when they gather 'round,
Napalm sticks to kids.
-----Added 29/1/2009 at 09 : 46 : 16-----
k




Who can take a bicycle,

Take off the seat,

Put your sister on it and ride it down a bumpy street?

The S&M Man (refrain)

The S&M Man (refrain)

The S&M Man 'cause he takes away the pain (refrain)

And makes the hurt feel good (refrain)

He makes the hurt feel good! (refrain)

Who can take your grandma,

Throw her on the lawn,

And **** her in the *** while grandpa cheers on?

(refrain)

Who can go to the abortion clinic,

Go around the back,

Fish around the dumpster and find a tasty snack?

(refrain)

Who can take your mother,

Grab her by the hair,

Pick her *** up and throw her down the stairs?

(refrain)

Who can take a coat hanger,

Stick it in a ****,

And swirl it all around until it kills the little runt?

(refrain)
-----Added 29/1/2009 at 09 : 46 : 59-----
My all time favorite is the Chink a-Chink a-Chink cadence but I cannot remember the words.

__________________
"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

Plan9

Do you remember the "Airborne Rap" that everybody seemed to be singing '04-'06?

I can't find it online anywhere.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Slims

Nope, I avoid cadences like my life depends on it. The only reason I know the ones I do is because they are fantastically dirty.

__________________
"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

Plan9

Good place to be. Less singing about hero shit and more doing of it.

Still, it was memorable to hear 500+ people screaming the same raunchy shit.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."