Crush... reloaded! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

w4r10ck · 01-22-2009, 10:18 AM

Hi people.

There's this girl that I had a crush on, sometime back. At that point of time, one of my do-gooder friends tipped her off. Apparently, she was not 'ready for this stuff' (her words) then. A few days later, she moved off to the local university, and I got busy with my work.

Fast forward to the present day...

I had gone to the university to enquire about a lost registration card. I happened to bump into her, and it brought back a flood of emotions. I somehow feel empty, and feel that may be I should give it another try, and maybe start up a friendship. On the other hand, I don't want to piss her off, and have everything blow up on my face.

Do you think I should give it another shot? If yes, how?

telekinetic · 01-22-2009, 10:24 AM

I say don't pursue. Plenty of fish in the sea, and if she was creeped out by your crush before (based on whatever your 'do-gooder' friend warned her about), that's going to be an insurmountable hurdle to starting off a normal friendship/relationship.

Also, starting a friendship with her sounds like it would be dishonest and manipulative, since that's not really what you want, is it?

w4r10ck · 01-22-2009, 10:32 AM

@twistedmosaic

Thanks for the quickie.

Quote:

Originally Posted by twistedmosaic

Also, starting a friendship with her sounds like it would be dishonest and manipulative, since that's not really what you want, is it?

Not quite sure what you mean there, but I happen to like her because of her simplicity, and have no evil intent whatsoever. I would be supremely hurt, if my attempts at starting a friendship make me come off as dishonest and manipulative.

Lasereth · 01-22-2009, 11:58 AM

No, not worth it. If she was really interested in you she would have said yes. I firmly believe that if a single person is genuinely interested in someone else, the whole "I'm not ready for a relationship" bullshit is fake. That's her way of saying she's not interested in a nice way.

telekinetic · 01-22-2009, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by w4r10ck

@twistedmosaic

Thanks for the quickie.

Not quite sure what you mean there, but I happen to like her because of her simplicity, and have no evil intent whatsoever. I would be supremely hurt, if my attempts at starting a friendship make me come off as dishonest and manipulative.

If you have a crush on her, feel empty without her, and seeing her brought a flood of emotions, you don't really want to be her friend--NONE of those things are involved in platonic friendships. Maybe I am projecting intent that either isn't there, or you don't realize is there, but if so, it's you're fault for calling it a crush and agonizing over this...just the fact you created this thread says there's more too this than 'hey let's be friends!'. I highly suspect you just want to be her friend because you hope it will develop into something.

Manic_Skafe · 01-22-2009, 02:55 PM

If the chance for you two to develop some sort of friendship presents itself then there isn't any good reason why you two shouldn't be friendly. Say for example you two ended up in the same course - nothing wrong with being friendly and perhaps at some point a more romantic relationship could grow from that friendship.

But she's already turned you down once and at the rate in which females outnumber males on college campuses - I'd roll my dice elsewhere.

robot_parade · 01-22-2009, 08:13 PM

Ask her out for coffee or something else that involves some face time, but nothing hugely romantic or elaborate. What's the worst that can happen? She might say 'no'. You'll feel bad about it for awhile, and then move on. But if you want to ask her out, and don't, you'll have regret.

Also, punch your do-gooder friend in the face.

'ready for this stuff' could mean a lot of things - it probably either meant 'not interested' or 'woah, that's coming on a little to heavy'. If it's either of those, there's nothing you can do to turn it around. She'll either turn you down flat-out, or accept out of pity or whatever and you'll have a really awkward time. It could also mean 'not right right now', in which case, things might work out.

Also, I don't totally get this 'friend/lover' dichotomy that a lot of people have going on - if I'm interested in someone 'that way', I want to get to know them first. But, as evidenced above, a lot of people seem to instinctively feel that it's wrong to try to make friends with someone and hope that maybe it'll turn into something else. I don't really agree, but I could be crazy.

w4r10ck · 01-22-2009, 08:50 PM

Thanks for all your replies, guys.

Quote:

Originally Posted by twistedmosaic

I highly suspect you just want to be her friend because you hope it will develop into something.

True.

Quote:

Originally Posted by robot_parade

...if I'm interested in someone 'that way', I want to get to know them first.

That's exactly what's going on in my head.

Iliftrocks · 01-23-2009, 06:41 AM

Are you sure your friend wasn't telling you a lie? I've had "friends" who have said some crass things to girls I liked, just to knock me out of the running, so to speak.

Anyway, one sure way to get rid of the crush is to talk to her. Just see her in a non-threatening environment and chat about generic stuff for a while. From there you will either hit it off ( don't count on it ) or will find out she's truly not interested in you that way. Crushes fade fastest when you let reality enter into the picture.

Or you can just obsess about her for a few years and ruin any chance you have with any number of other fine ladies.....

w4r10ck · 01-23-2009, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iliftrocks

Are you sure your friend wasn't telling you a lie?

He's been a good friend for 6 years now; can vouch for him all right.

Iliftrocks · 01-28-2009, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by w4r10ck

He's been a good friend for 6 years now; can vouch for him all right.

Well, keep the friend. The crush, not so much...

By the way, loving the avatar. Captain Caveman used to be a favourite of mine, for some reason

w4r10ck · 01-28-2009, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iliftrocks

By the way, loving the avatar. Captain Caveman used to be a favourite of mine, for some reason.

Gee, thanks!

Iliftrocks · 01-29-2009, 11:18 AM

Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels, heh..... geez, I feel old again

w4r10ck · 01-29-2009, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iliftrocks

Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels, heh..... geez, I feel old again.

@Iliftrocks

You wouldn't believe it if I told you, but I'll do it anyway...

Actually, your user ID, and that caveman-like avatar of yours, reminded me of the the Slag Brothers in the Bouldermobile 01 (remember the Wacky Races...?) A quick Google Image search showed up pics of theirs, plus quite a few nice Capt. Caveman avatars. I went with the first one that met the forum criteria.

Quote:

Originally Posted by w4r10ck

Gee, thanks!

01-22-2009, 10:18 AM	#1 (permalink)
w4r10ck Upright Location: Assam, India	Crush... reloaded! Hi people. There's this girl that I had a crush on, sometime back. At that point of time, one of my do-gooder friends tipped her off. Apparently, she was not 'ready for this stuff' (her words) then. A few days later, she moved off to the local university, and I got busy with my work. Fast forward to the present day... I had gone to the university to enquire about a lost registration card. I happened to bump into her, and it brought back a flood of emotions. I somehow feel empty, and feel that may be I should give it another try, and maybe start up a friendship. On the other hand, I don't want to piss her off, and have everything blow up on my face. Do you think I should give it another shot? If yes, how?

01-22-2009, 10:24 AM	#2 (permalink)
telekinetic zomgomgomgomgomgomg Location: Fauxenix, Azerona	I say don't pursue. Plenty of fish in the sea, and if she was creeped out by your crush before (based on whatever your 'do-gooder' friend warned her about), that's going to be an insurmountable hurdle to starting off a normal friendship/relationship. Also, starting a friendship with her sounds like it would be dishonest and manipulative, since that's not really what you want, is it? __________________ twisted no more

01-22-2009, 11:58 AM	#4 (permalink)
Lasereth Knight of the Old Republic Location: Winston-Salem, NC	No, not worth it. If she was really interested in you she would have said yes. I firmly believe that if a single person is genuinely interested in someone else, the whole "I'm not ready for a relationship" bullshit is fake. That's her way of saying she's not interested in a nice way. __________________ "A Darwinian attacks his theory, seeking to find flaws. An ID believer defends his theory, seeking to conceal flaws." -Roger Ebert

01-22-2009, 02:55 PM	#6 (permalink)
Manic_Skafe More Than You Expect Location: Queens	If the chance for you two to develop some sort of friendship presents itself then there isn't any good reason why you two shouldn't be friendly. Say for example you two ended up in the same course - nothing wrong with being friendly and perhaps at some point a more romantic relationship could grow from that friendship. But she's already turned you down once and at the rate in which females outnumber males on college campuses - I'd roll my dice elsewhere. __________________ "Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

01-23-2009, 06:41 AM	#9 (permalink)
Iliftrocks Junkie Location: Near Raleigh, NC	Are you sure your friend wasn't telling you a lie? I've had "friends" who have said some crass things to girls I liked, just to knock me out of the running, so to speak. Anyway, one sure way to get rid of the crush is to talk to her. Just see her in a non-threatening environment and chat about generic stuff for a while. From there you will either hit it off ( don't count on it ) or will find out she's truly not interested in you that way. Crushes fade fastest when you let reality enter into the picture. Or you can just obsess about her for a few years and ruin any chance you have with any number of other fine ladies..... __________________ bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

01-22-2009, 08:13 PM	#7 (permalink)
robot_parade Junkie Location: San Antonio, TX	Ask her out for coffee or something else that involves some face time, but nothing hugely romantic or elaborate. What's the worst that can happen? She might say 'no'. You'll feel bad about it for awhile, and then move on. But if you want to ask her out, and don't, you'll have regret. Also, punch your do-gooder friend in the face. 'ready for this stuff' could mean a lot of things - it probably either meant 'not interested' or 'woah, that's coming on a little to heavy'. If it's either of those, there's nothing you can do to turn it around. She'll either turn you down flat-out, or accept out of pity or whatever and you'll have a really awkward time. It could also mean 'not right right now', in which case, things might work out. Also, I don't totally get this 'friend/lover' dichotomy that a lot of people have going on - if I'm interested in someone 'that way', I want to get to know them first. But, as evidenced above, a lot of people seem to instinctively feel that it's wrong to try to make friends with someone and hope that maybe it'll turn into something else. I don't really agree, but I could be crazy.

01-29-2009, 11:18 AM	#13 (permalink)
Iliftrocks Junkie Location: Near Raleigh, NC	Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels, heh..... geez, I feel old again __________________ bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."