mixedmedia

Here in the Orlando area, school starts next week. Because of my work and school schedules, I have decided to let my daughter, who is nine, walk home from school one day a week.

The school is about 3/4 of a mile away and the walk home will be up a street with heavy traffic, although she will not have to cross the street. The sidewalk is always crowded with other children walking home after school, so I'm not overly concerned about someone trying to snatch her on the street or anything...at least, not consciously. I'm more concerned about her letting herself into the apartment and being here alone...even though she will alone only for a couple of hours.

She is very excited about this. To her it's a very 'grown up' thing. It means she gets her own cell phone and a key to our apartment. I like the idea that this might help her become more independent and self-confident...qualities that have never been a strong suit with her.

How old were your kids when they started walking home from school alone or otherwise were left to fend for themselves out in the world? If you don't have kids, how old were you when your parents started letting you off the leash, so to speak?

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ngdawg

I spoiled mine and did't let them walk until the 5th grade, partially because I had to be at work before they had to be at school, so I would drop them off at a friend's and they'd walk from there and partially because they would have to cross the main 3 lane road.
As a kid, I was walking to school(which was quite a distance) from about 3rd grade on that I can remember.
As long as she's walking with other kids, she should be fine. There was a family here that would send an obvious kindergartner out walking and I cringed seeing that baby standing at the traffic light every morning.
At about 9 was when I started leaving my kids alone at home for short periods of time.

Regarding "snatching" kids-Penn and Teller's Bullshit series just this week noted that there are approximately only 115 stranger abductions a year in this country. As long as she knows the basics-don't talk to strangers, run in the opposite direction if approached by a vehicle, etc., there's no need to worry(yea, we do it anyway, though, it's our job).

abaya

My bus stop was about 3/4 of a mile away, though we lived at the end of a very long, rural dead-end street and there really was almost no reason for my parents to fear for my safety. Still, most of the time they would drive me there (or all the way to school), and usually picked me up... or we car-pooled with one of the other parents who were picking up their kids from the same bus stop. Every once in a while, though, no one would be there, so I would walk... I think that started when I was about 8 years old.

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Xazy

I was about 9 when I went home alone, but then again we did not have much safety concern where we lived.

I live in NYC now, and while my daughter is not even two months, I think about this topic since my brother who lives across the street lets his daughter roam around and she is turning 12. It really bothered me that she walks so far from home, since she is small and does not even look 12, and it is still NYC, but that was their decision. I guess for my daughter only able to tell in a number of years from now and see how over protective her daddy will be.

Catdaddy33

5th grade for my daughter (who is in 9th grade this year), but it was a different situation. She attends a magnet school here in Nashville. Magnet schools do not provide transportation so after school she had to get on a city bus, ride the bus to my wife's work (she is a middle school librarian), and walk about a 3/4 mile from the bus stop to the school along a busy residential street.

We were worried for the first week or so, making her call as soon as she got off the bus and what not after that no concerns. She was excited too, but that wore off quickly, she would call and ask to be picked up and what not…

laconic1

I definitely remember walking home from school when I was in third grade, though I had to walk with my sister who was in 4th grade. I vaguely remember walking home with her when I was in 2nd grade. We lived about 1/2 mile from school and we had to be home by 3:15 every day (class got out at 3:00), or we would be in trouble. My mom was a stay at home mom that whole time, we had two cars for most of that time, I don't know why she didn't pick us up.

KellyC

I don't think there was any leash with my parents in the first place. I started walking home when I was 6--in first grade. I think I might've done it sooner but I went to kindergarten with nun teachers and they insists that the children go home with an adult relative. It's very normal for kids to walk home alone in Vietnam. It's actually rare that a parent comes to school to pick up his/her kid. But that's over 15 years ago, I'm sure things have changed since then.

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LoganSnake

I was walking to and from school on my own (about 2.5 kilometers and sometimes with friends) since 3rd grade. If I know my kids are properly educated about the rules of the road, they can go to and from school from that age as well.

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Cynthetiq

I was about 7 or 8. I walked about 3 blocks home from gradeschool 2nd - 4th grade.

I moved to private Catholic school in 5th grade. I was given a ride to and from school until I was in 6th grade I walked with a few other kids home as a group. It was 1.25 miles away from home and not in a great neighborhood. I sometimes would take the bus home because it was a short trip and only $.35.

In 8th grade I was allowed to ride my bike to school.

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Ayashe

Where I live, you actually have to pay for the school bus unless your child is further than 500 ft from school and in kindergarten or further than 2 miles in any of the other remaining grades. I have always paid for the bussing. My reasoning is #1 There are two fairly busy roads that would need to be crossed, and I know of at least two incedents of children getting killed on both. #2 Minnesota does not have the friendliest weather, particularly in the winter. Schools generally do not close in extremly cold weather for concern about latch-key kids getting to school and finding out it wasn't open and having no other place to go. Those are my main reasons anyway.

At age 9 I did allow my daughter to come straight home from after school activities giving her approximately 15-60 minutes home alone. Generally more in the 30 minute range. My neighborhood is full of stay at home mothers, there is always someone nearby in case of an emergency. After that, I had one last summer with a teen-aged relative rather than a daycare. It worked out very well, allowed them to become closer and they were extremely busy biking, hiking and going to the beach.

I really an inclined to believe that there are other factors besides age that deserve even more serious consideration.

mixedmedia

Thank you everyone for your contributions. Hearing other people's stories helps to ease my mind. Even though I know this is completely acceptable given her age and maturity level, there is a little pestering voice of doubt in my head. Like I am being a bad parent.

For the previous three years she was picked up from school by a daycare center, but now that my schedule has changed, there is only one afternoon a week on which she cannot be picked up by either myself or her sister. And even though it is not the primary factor in making this decision, it is going to save me $240 a month in daycare expenses - no little amount in my newly part-time employed life.

And, ng, I see kindergarten age kids walking home a lot, too. It's funny that, in my childhood and probably yours, too, this was not an uncommon sight. I was either walking or biking to school and back by the time I was seven. But to see a child that age and younger on the streets today is almost surreal. And it's difficult not to pass judgment.
My mom has a psychologist friend who made a similar observation to your Penn and Teller reference...he says, as parents, we are almost always worrying about the wrong things.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

inBOIL

I started walking home alone at age 5. We lived half a block away in a safe neighborhood. The walk from the kindergarten classroom to the other end of school was almost as long as the walk from school grounds to my front door.

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jewels

Things were different, but I was walking to and from school when I was in kindergarten.

My girls began to walk to school when they were in 6th and 5th grades. I remember it being difficult as a parent, but being thankful they had one another and that the middle school was right behind the elementary school.

Don't doubt yourself on this one. Necessity dictates sometimes. You're a good mom, mm. I know she'll call you when she walks in the door and if she's 5 minutes later than usual, you'll be going nuts!

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