kate jack

You often hear the word "tolerance" used as a positive thing. For example, "We foster a community of understanding and tolerance." But, would you be happy to know that someone tolerated you?

How do these go over with you:

"I don't really like Jews, but I have to work with quite a few and I tolerate them."

"I think homosexuality is disgusting, but I keep my mouth shut and tolerate my brother and his partner at Thanksgiving."

"I don't think people should marry outside their race, but I tolerate my neighbors and am polite to them."

"I don't think Catholics are Christians, but we work together on pro-life initiatives, so I can tolerate them."



********

Acceptance is so much better, but tolerance is a first step.

It's a minumum requirement IMO.

jorgelito

You can't force people to like you. Tolerance therefore, is adequate.

Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated.

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JumpinJesus

Every word has two definitions at least: It's denotation and it's connotation.

Tolerance is taking on a connotation of acceptance and therefore more people see it as an adequate descriptor for a place or person.


That in conjunction with what jorgelito said and I don't think you could ask for much more out of any group of diverse people.

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shesus

Sometimes, one finds themselves stuck with people that you don't agree with or approve of because of situations listed in the OP.
My questions to this are:
What purpose is being served by judging another person?
Are there really people that perfect and almighty that they are in a position to judge another?
Why are living style choices important to another person if it is not affecting them directly?

I agree that tolerance is a step in the right direction and is preferable over hateful actions. However, it leans toward an elitist position. I think tolerating is better left to smells, noises, dirt, and weather. Acceptance or indifference are for people and choices.

With that being said, we are all guilty of judging others, we are human. But if you look at the whys, one usually finds that the reason they are being judges is because it scares them or makes them uncomfortable. In this light, the person doing the judging is the one with the issue.

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spectre

I think it fosters bullshit and we're better off knowing how people truly feel instead of just tolerating people. To me, it sounds like, "I hate that person/group, but I'm willing not to walk up and punch them in the crotch every day."

I think tolerance just bottles everything up until finally it comes out in very negative ways. You can't force people to like everyone. That's a happy, sugarcoating of BS that isn't realistic. I'd rather know who the idiots are so I can just avoid them rather than having to wonder.

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grumpyolddude

Sometimes, being tolerated is all that can be asked for, and more than is expected. To tolerate is to accept a compromise.

Loved ones tolerate certain behaviors when they are overshadowed by many good qualities. Bosses do as well.

Employees tolerate certain working conditions, if most aspects of the job are preferable to unemployment.

We tolerate minor annoyances.

I am tolerated in many circumstances. Thanks, everyone, for that!

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RetroGunslinger

I only tolerate something if it proves beneficial to me. For example, I tolerate my girlfriend's Mormon beliefs because I love her and being with her makes me feel great. However, outside of that situation I have no desire to tolerate people. I have no problem saying I don't like religion and that Catholicism a crock of shit and I don't care if my standing up and mentioning the problems with such people is considered intolerant.

People need to be told when their wrong or there is a flaw in their logic. You can't just ignore such things and pretend they don't exist.

Now, having said that, I would like to repeat that if something is beneficial to you if you tolerate it, so be it. Tolerating poor working conditions (to an extent) is important to make you money until you find something better, so it all really comes down to the type of situation.

So, yes and no, but mainly no.

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levite

Yeah, I hear the difference. But, to give you an example of why I think tolerance is all right by me: I just spent a year living in Jerusalem, where-- I promise you-- there will never be a mutual admiration society between the Jews and the Arabs, or between the Ultra-Orthodox Jews and the Secular Jews. Toleration exists (for the most part), and let me tell you guys, it was mighty fine.

Toleration may not win any awards for niceness or pleasantness, but in comparison to open hostility, it is pretty damn good. I will totally take it if I can get it.

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Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
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Xazy

I will say on this one you are wrong already. The question is what you call Ultra-Orthodox. I know a lot of ultra orthodox learned people who are very tolerant, and accepting to all, I also have met a few asshats who think that their belief makes them elite. The more I have connection and relationships built in this community I realize it is such a minority the problem is that they are just more public and noticed.

I used to agree with you on this levite. By the way are you tolerant to them?

As far as tolerance I think and hope that it is a step in the right direction but I do not think it is adequate exactly. I think it is a in between step of everyone getting along and hatred the question is which way is this person and will (s)he teach their children.

Baraka_Guru

Tolerance is just enough to stay on the right side of the law.

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inBOIL

I see no reason to accept assholes or sex offenders living in my neighborhood. But as long as the law allows them to be here, I'll tolerate them. The OP only includes examples that don't directly affect others, but tolerance and acceptance apply to a much wider range of behaviors.

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MSD

I may not like someone, but being actively displeased at their presence is a waste of my time and can't result in anything positive for me beyond commiseration by others who feel the same. Tolerance is as low as I'll go as long as nobody is harming anyone else.

girldetective

Tolerance is acceptable in my eyes. If I were a Jew in a Poland ghetto in the 40s, I would be happy to be tolerated. If I didnt bathe and smelled awful, I would hope someone would tolerate my presence. If I were gay living in some parts of CO I would be happy to be tolerated.

Tolerance is not ideal, but it is a start, a first step as you said. When reading the OP my first thought was that no, tolerance is not enough, but upon further thought I think differently. Thanks.

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