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kate jack 07-09-2008 03:14 PM

What's the biggest difference between men and women?
 
Aside from genetics .....


I'll go with... Women take comments to heart much more than men. Also, most women tend to over analyze conversations. Sometimes when a man replies to the "what are you thinking" question with "nothing" that is truly the case. They are able to just sit and stare at an inanimate object and not be contemplating the nature of their existence. They really aren't hiding anything, they just don't have an opinion on every little thing.

Tully Mars 07-09-2008 03:26 PM

There's at least one of two reasons I can't answer this question...

Either...

A. I don't understand the what the differences are, least not completely. It's like a Rubic's cube when it's not solved. I know it's out of whack but I don't have a clue how to get it back to "right."

Or...

B. There isn't enough space left on the "internets" to write out all the reasons I think men are different from women.

I'll let you decide which one's correct. Mainly because I don't know the answer myself.

Miss Mango 07-09-2008 03:34 PM

How we communicate.

Tully Mars 07-09-2008 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Mango
How we communicate.

I don't understand.

Miss Mango 07-09-2008 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tully Mars
I don\'t understand.

Speaking from my own experience...

Example:

Women have ability to get annoyed at little things, and to notice when other women are being inappropriate whereas men do not.

snowy 07-09-2008 04:19 PM

Miss Mango, I think you missed Tully's joke :p He's a subtle one.

One of the clear differences I see between the sexes on a daily basis in my work with small children is that at ages 5-6, boys are better with concrete thinking and things they can put their hands on, while girls are better at abstract thinking. This difference becomes less pronounced as kids get older; boys start catching up at 6-7 in abstract thinking, and vice-versa.

Another difference--and this one is a gender difference--I see in adults that troubles me is how young men in particular seem petrified to ask for help, especially when it comes to mental health/mental issues. Women seem to be more comfortable with that, though I'm sure as with all things, there are exceptions. I think that the construct of gender is partially responsible for this.

Tully Mars 07-09-2008 04:25 PM

I guess I do suck at subtle sarcasm

This why only my dogs laugh at my jokes.

Miss Mango 07-09-2008 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onesnowyowl
Miss Mango, I think you missed Tullys joke :p Hes a subtle one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tully Mars
I guess I do suck at subtle sarcasm

This why only my dogs laugh at my jokes.

Ooops! Doh me! :)

UKking 07-09-2008 05:48 PM

Nature vs. nurture.

The way that parents have consistently fucked up when raising their kids to make society happy.

newtx 07-09-2008 08:07 PM

I have always heard this and it rings of truth. Men marry women hoping they will never change and women marry men hoping to change them. Therein lies the problem........................................

Bill O'Rights 07-10-2008 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tully Mars
I guess I do suck at subtle sarcasm.

I got it. But, then again, I also have a highly tuned sarcastic sense of humor.

Besides the obvious X vs Y chromosome, and the penis vs vagina answer...it's most definately communication. It takes Mrs. O'Rights 8 hours to tell me how her 8 hour day at work went. It takes me 5 seconds. That pretty much sums it up.

Baraka_Guru 07-10-2008 05:26 AM

From "The Secrets of Married Men" from Psychology Today:
The average woman uses 7,000 words a day and five tones of speech, [psychiatrist Scott Haltzman] points out. The average man uses 2,000 words and three tones. "Men are talk-impaired, relatively speaking," he says.
I can relate to that.

Tully Mars 07-10-2008 05:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights
I got it. But, then again, I also have a highly tuned sarcastic sense of humor.

Besides the obvious X vs Y chromosome, and the penis vs vagina answer...it's most definately communication. It takes Mrs. O'Rights 8 hours to tell me how her 8 hour day at work went. It takes me 5 seconds. That pretty much sums it up.

The Ex-Mrs. Tully used to spend an hour a night trying to get me to detail every second of my day. "What happened in court?" "He was convicted." "Well, who testified, what'd they say, did they get the evidence in they wanted, was he convicted on all counts, what color tie did the DA wear? On and on and on. Man, I just spent all day working, I don't want to spend all night talking about it. Not only that but there were many times I sat in on mental health eval's, which are confidential by law. "But I'm your wife you can tell me." No, I can't and do you really want to hear Jim used to screw the family dog? Seriously, the shit I heard today was sick enough, I don't want to come home and relive it.

Bill O'Rights 07-10-2008 05:56 AM

BINGO!!!!

Lasereth 07-10-2008 06:03 AM

Guys fuck and girls make love.

Tully Mars 07-10-2008 06:17 AM

Yeah, and women need a reason to have sex... men just need a place.

Baraka_Guru 07-10-2008 07:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lasereth
Guys fuck and girls make love.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tully Mars
Yeah, and women need a reason to have sex... men just need a place.

Au contraire....

snowy 07-10-2008 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru
Au contraire....

Yeah, I'll second that. I don't like to "make love" all the time, just once in a great while. I actually prefer to fuck. :p I just happen to love who I'm fucking. And a reason? What reason does one need beyond that it feels good?

dlish 07-10-2008 07:32 AM

apart from the jatz crackers?

everything

Giant Hamburger 07-10-2008 12:13 PM

plumbing

thingstodo 07-11-2008 02:18 AM

men are hunter/gatherers and women are nurturers. men need to feed their ego and constantly get promoted - even if they can't handle the next job - while women find something they like and become content with it.

Pholeus 07-11-2008 08:42 AM

I'd definitely go with communication as well. Which is why i find it strange that I'm the one who communicates more and my girlfriend is the closed off one.

Lubeboy 07-11-2008 10:30 AM

women love drama, men don't.

ngdawg 07-11-2008 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights
I got it. But, then again, I also have a highly tuned sarcastic sense of humor.

Besides the obvious X vs Y chromosome, and the penis vs vagina answer...it's most definately communication. It takes Mrs. O'Rights 8 hours to tell me how her 8 hour day at work went. It takes me 5 seconds. That pretty much sums it up.

Here it's just the opposite. I answer "fine" when asked about work. If I ask about his day, I get a blow by blow description, right down to the idiots on the road coming and going:rolleyes:

I once heard this difference and it mostly rings true: Women are defined by who they are. Men are defined by what they do.

vanblah 07-11-2008 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lubeboy
women love drama, men don't.

You've never met the lead singer for my band.

As for an answer to the post. I don't really think there are black and white differences between the two other than the obvious physical difference. You will find women who are overly emotional just as you will find men who exhibit the same behavior. You will find men who lack the skills of communication just as you will find women who do the same.

Hain 07-12-2008 07:50 AM

Quote:

View: [ANCHOR]Opposite sex drives you crazy -- the causes[/ANCHOR] (link)
Source: Edition (http://edition.cnn.com)
Abstract: "# There are explanations why men and women act differently # Sexually released oxytocin encourages cuddling, testosterone neutralizes # Men only talk about problems to find solutions, women to relieve stress # Men like "chic flicks" more than they publicly admit"
Quote:

Opposite sex drives you crazy -- the causes
May 28, 2008 -- Updated 0347 GMT (1147 HKT)
by Joy Hepp
from Edition, http://edition.cnn.com



(LifeWire) -- As Walter Christensen, a 53-year-old physics professor from Pomona, California, discovered, when it comes to cuddling, women know what they want. When he and his lover spend the night together, he's usually awoken around 3 a.m. with a familiar request.

"She calls out, 'Spoon, spoon!'" he says. He willingly obliges with front-to-back cuddling -- even though he admits he probably wouldn't do so without being asked.

"I like the feeling of her wanting to do that," he says, "so I do it out of a sense of responsibility."

His lover, 32-year-old art-history scholar Natalie Valle, appreciates the attention.

While the differences between the sexes drive some couples to distraction, being aware of them enhances relationships, as Christensen and Valle can attest. Is there hope for the rest of us? Researchers have found that science can be used to explain a lot of behavior that widens the gender gap, and in so doing may help couples understand each other better.

1. Women want to cuddle

What you think: Women love to cuddle after sex, whereas men just want to fall asleep.

What the experts say: "During sexual intercourse, oxytocin is released in both men and women, and that encourages bonding within the couple," says Dr. Marianne J. Legato, founder of the Partnership for Gender-Specific Medicine at Columbia University and author of "Why Men Never Remember and Women Never Forget."

Oxytocin is a hormone often associated with love because its levels increase during intimate acts like hugging, kissing and intercourse. However, "testosterone neutralizes the effect of oxytocin, so men are less likely to want to prolong contact after orgasm."

2. Men hate shopping

What you think: Men hate to go shopping with their mate because they think it's a waste of time.

What the experts say: Men do enjoy shopping when they get to "hunt" for a specific item, whereas women enjoy "grazing" for items. This goes back to our hunting and gathering days, when losing focus could mean losing the week's meal.

"Men are much more task-oriented," says Robert Schwarz, a psychologist and director of the Mars and Venus Counseling and Wellness Center in Haverford, Pennsylvania. "They hunt it, they kill it, they buy it and they go out."

In the aptly titled 2007 study "Men Buy, Women Shop," University of Pennsylvania researchers found that factors having to do with speed and convenience were the most important for men. Of the 1,250 male and female shoppers surveyed by phone, finding parking near the store or mall entrance was the No. 1 problem men said they encountered when shopping (29 percent of respondents), whereas women cited "lack of help" as their chief complaint (also 29 percent).

3. Women make mountains out of molehills

What you think: Women obsess about every little thing; men seem to have it all under control.

What the experts say: Men are problem-solvers and tend to bring up a problem only in order to search for its solution, says Schwarz. The "eureka" moment of problem-solving increases the level of dopamine, a pleasure-inducing chemical, in the brain. (This also explains why men will wait until it's absolutely necessary to stop and ask for directions.)

Women relieve stress by talking and relating their problems to others, which produces serotonin, said to enhance moods and ward off depression.

4. Men are impervious to cold

What you think: Men are content to freeze, while women always want to turn up the thermostat.

What the experts say: According to the Mayo Clinic, women are more sensitive to cold than men are, but not because they like to feel warm and cozy. Because women on average are smaller than men, their metabolic rate tends to be lower. This means their bodies generate less heat. They also tend to have less fat, which acts as insulation, on their upper bodies and around their waists, as well as less muscle mass, which also helps keep the body warm.

5. Women Love 'chick flicks'

What you think: Women prefer romantic movies (aka "chick flicks") while men like action and adventure.

What the experts say: Women may like romantic movies better than men, but in a 2007 study at Kansas State University, men rated romantic movies "higher than most people would have guessed," says psychology professor Richard Harris, who led the survey of 265 Kansas State students. On a scale of 1 to 7, men gave the movies a 4.8, while women rated them a 6.

However, "we found that when seeing the film on a date ... if one party makes the decision, then they stay true to those stereotypes, with guys choosing to go to a violent film and women choosing a romantic film," Harris told the Reuters news agency in January.

Jose Ferraro can relate. He spent New Year's Day at the theater, dozing through the romantic drama "Atonement" with his wife, Kyle.
advertisement

"She tricked me into going," says the 44-year-old engineer from Yorba Linda, California.

His wife, Kyle, a 49-year-old fitness instructor, fesses up: "I said there was some fighting in it," she admits.


mixedmedia 07-12-2008 08:03 AM

I think there is overwhelming evidence to contradict of all of the 'differences' posted here to be found right here on the threads of TFP.

I think the differences between men and women are more subtle and complex than we think and the more striking differences are simply personality differences, irrespective of gender.

And I think there are subconscious (and sometimes conscious) resentments and competitive urges between the sexes that make us want to pinpoint differences and give them a negative curve based on gender. I've seen this in myself. I think it's probably true to large extent.

UKking 07-13-2008 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mixedmedia
I think there is overwhelming evidence to contradict of all of the 'differences' posted here to be found right here on the threads of TFP.

I think the differences between men and women are more subtle and complex than we think and the more striking differences are simply personality differences, irrespective of gender.

The article was referring to stereotypes that most people appear to operate on, but certainly not all. No way is it universal, nor does the article claim that, and I'm guessing you don't think the articles claiming that either... So I'm curious what precisely you mean. Do you mean to say that these stereotypes are false and don't, in fact, reflect a large segment of the population? Any way you can elaborate, or toss examples?

Quote:

And I think there are subconscious (and sometimes conscious) resentments and competitive urges between the sexes that make us want to pinpoint differences and give them a negative curve based on gender. I've seen this in myself. I think it's probably true to large extent.
I totally think you're on to something there. Agreed. Bias and insecurities color everything.

World's King 07-13-2008 06:28 AM

Oh how fun it is to stereotype...

mixedmedia 07-13-2008 06:28 AM

Are you referring to Hain's article?

I think the stereotypes are not reliable from my own experiences and the experiences of other people here at the TFP.

Women like to cuddle and men don't?
I don't find that to be true.

Women like to shop and men don't?
I don't find that to be true.

Women like chick flicks and men don't?
I don't find that to be true.

These things just don't coalesce with what I see.

ring 07-13-2008 07:03 AM

The first thing that came to mind when I read the OP was...

Plumbing..as GH noted, then 'Paychecks.'

Stereotypes are so tiresome.

Grasshopper Green 07-13-2008 12:06 PM

If you judged based on stereotypes, I'd be the man in my relationship and my husband would be the female. I think worrying about this question causes more problems than it solves. No one can be conveniently slotted into a niche simply because of their sex.

BTW, Tully...I loved your joke.

guthmund 07-14-2008 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tully Mars
I guess I do suck at subtle sarcasm

This why only my dogs laugh at my jokes.

Your alliteration skills, however, are spot on.

:thumbsup:

kate jack 07-23-2008 03:29 PM

Women's brains are different from men's – and here's scientific proof

Quote:

Men and women show differences in behaviour because their brains are physically distinct organs, new research suggests. Male and female brains appear to be constructed from markedly different genetic blueprints.
They also point out that if these differences are significant, women have been shortchanged by researchers, who generally study male patients.

Quote:

One of the reasons why physiological differences between male and female brains have not been widely noted before may be that most of what we know about the brain comes from studies of males, animals and human volunteers. "If even a small proportion of what has been inferred from these studies does not apply to females, it means a huge body of research has been built on shaky foundations," the review comments.

Professor Jeff Mogil from McGill University, in Montreal, Canada, who has demonstrated major differences in pain processing in males and females, puts it even more forcefully. He is astonished that so many researchers have failed to include female animals in their studies. "It's scandalous," he said. "Women are the most common pain sufferers, and yet our model for basic pain research is the male rat."
Here's a short list of some of the differences noted.

Quote:

A guide to the male and female control panels
DECISION MAKING AND PROBLEM SOLVING:
Controlled by the frontal lobe, which is proportionally larger in women.
EMOTIONAL RESPONSE:
Controlled by the limbic cortex, which is also proportionally larger in women.
SPATIAL PERCEPTION:
Controlled by the parietal cortex , which regulates how we move around. Proportionally larger in men.
EMOTIONAL MEMORY:
Controlled by the amygdala, which is proportionally larger in men. When recalling an emotionally charged scene, men enlist its right side, women its left. Men remember the gist of the scene, and women the details.
SUPPRESSION OF PAIN:
Controlled by the periaqueductal grey, an area of grey matter in the mid-brain, known to have a role in the suppression of pain in men but perhaps not in women.

girldetective 07-23-2008 03:52 PM

Chemicals. And it seems to me the the line can blur, that it is not absolute man/woman. Just yesterday my friend Chuck, a gay man in a gays man's body I guess, told me that I am a gay man in a woman's body.

It also seems to be a bitch to get elected president of the US if youre a woman.

abaya 07-23-2008 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mixedmedia (Post 2485254)
I think there is overwhelming evidence to contradict of all of the 'differences' posted here to be found right here on the threads of TFP.

I think the differences between men and women are more subtle and complex than we think and the more striking differences are simply personality differences, irrespective of gender.

And I think there are subconscious (and sometimes conscious) resentments and competitive urges between the sexes that make us want to pinpoint differences and give them a negative curve based on gender. I've seen this in myself. I think it's probably true to large extent.

My thoughts as well--seems to be a lot of generalizing going on here. I suppose we're talking about the normal curve of society, though, and not the outliers (a lot of whom we see on TFP, and that's a good thing)...

In which case, one difference that seems to come up time and again (no matter how much I try to ignore it--among almost everyone I know, at various income levels and education and class, etc), is that it takes a little bit longer for the average male to notice "clutter," and to have the motivation to want to do something about it, compared to the average woman. In my limited observation, it's truly the rare male who is anxious about maintaining a state of constant tidiness in their household--they exist, but I know very few of them within my circles. Of course, there are plenty of women who could give a rat's ass about tidiness, too, so the stereotype breaks down on that side--as they always do.

UKking 07-23-2008 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girldetective (Post 2493338)
Chemicals. And it seems to me the the line can blur, that it is not absolute man/woman. Just yesterday my friend Chuck, a gay man in a gays man's body I guess, told me that I am a gay man in a woman's body.

It also seems to be a bitch to get elected president of the US if youre a woman.

^ It's probably impossible if you're a gay man in a woman's body. ;)

genuinegirly 07-23-2008 05:58 PM

Every rule has an exception.

Women and men are only as different as we make them out to be.

Growing up, I was told a lot of things abomut the differences between men and women.

I was told that women can bear children. But my aunt never bore a child.
I was told that women work in the home. My pediatrician was a woman. My best friends' mothers worked in offices.
I was told that women are generally more nurturing. But I have come across women who were far from; men that were far more nurturing than myself.
I was told that women fall in love with men and men fall in love wth women. But then I met asexual, bisexual, and homosexual individuals.
I was told that women like to chit-chat. I have a couple of close guy friends that I call up when I need some solid "girl talk" because my female friends are not so inclined.

Over time, I have learned to ignore what I was taught and focus on the reality of the individual.

Miss Mango 07-23-2008 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girldetective (Post 2493338)
Chemicals. And it seems to me the the line can blur, that it is not absolute man/woman. Just yesterday my friend Chuck, a gay man in a gays man\'s body I guess, told me that I am a gay man in a woman\'s body.

It also seems to be a bitch to get elected president of the US if youre a woman.

German Prime Minister Andrea Merkel comes to mind...

The million dollar question to me is: If this tendency is generally true, is it prominent enough for us to even bother paying attention to it when deciding whether or not to, for instance, vote for Hillary Clinton...

CandleInTheDark 07-26-2008 05:24 PM

Men and women have different psycological and biological make-up that evolved independently (or co-evolved) from societal roles. Society copes with biology.


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