Unconditional love. Is there ever really such a thing?
 

Im not sure it exists. I think you can come close to it, but purely unconditional?

My mom truly believes that it exists. Im not yet sure if I do, but I dont have children. I think that theyd be the only people ever to really be loved unconditionally.

Yes, it does exist.

It's a matter of choice and making the decision to love someone without any conditions, but yes, it is very possible.

Have a kid or two and see what happens ...

Not sure if this was directed at me or not .. but I have three, just for the record

In a familial sense, I believe there is.

In a relationship sense, I don't believe so. While certain scenarios are likely to never happen, I just don't feel that there is NO circumstance possible in which a person would not feel any resentment whatsoever towards his/her S.O.

unconditional means it's impossible for them to do something that'd make you not love them, right?

Huh, but now that I think about it, I guess I could subscribe to the idea, depending on how I'd define love... But I'm sure no one wants me blathering about that.

Of course it does. That doesn't mean that you can't leave someone who you love that isn't the right person for you, of course. I've loved wonderful women unconditionally and horrible women. I stay with the former.

For my kids, I believe I have unconditional love. Unconditional like is another thing. I could conceive of a time where I don't like my kids but I would still love them.

That aside, I don't think I can truly have unconditional love for anyone else, even my wife (with whom I am very much in love).

If my wife were to stop doing the things I like and start doing the things I don't, I'd still love her. We'd have issues and it's not unthinkable those issues could equate into the end of our relationship. So I guess in that sense, there are conditions to our love for one another.

How fortunate for the both of us that we fit so well together and can't imagine one of us doing anything differently than what we do now to mess with that balance. Thusly, given the "conditions" of our relationship, our personal preferences, and our habits with each other and so forth, I'd say I do love my wife .. unconditionally .. with conditions. :D

As for your own children, you love them unconditionally, as any normal parent would. I suppose the alternative there is, they get taken away because you're a bad parent.

To the OP.

I do. Naturally, I love my children unconditionally. But I do love my man unconditionally as well.

No. Anyone, including the people you least expect, can make you hate them. No matter who it is, there is always a line. Some people just have more leeway then others.

i like to think it exists.

I absolutely don't think it exists.

I have a really hard time believing that everyone who has (imo) niavely claimed there is something as unconditional love has truly considered all the "conditions."

What about having sex with strangers and giving you an STD because of it? Molesting your children?

I couldn't love someone who did either of these things.

I believe unconditional love exists under some conditions.

Do you think that someone who could do this is loving their mate unconditionally? I think it exists only when it's between two parties, not as a one-sided deal.

It's entirely possible. People who think they love each other "unconditionally" hurt each other like this every day, deliberately and otherwise.

And I think that two-sided "unconditional love" is even more unlikely.

All love has "conditions", however far-fetched you might think them.

Please 'splain that. I don't agree.

You would still love your SO if they anally raped your grandmother, sodomized and killed your child, and burned your house down with your child's corpse inside?

It's an extreme example, but you can see that there ARE conditions to your loving them. It's only a simple mental exercise away from finding realistic conditions which could make you no longer love the person.

I understood that in your (and others') previous posts. What I don't understand is why you think that two people are incapable of loving one another unconditionally.

I never said that everyone is capable, but it exists.

If you are married, I would hope that neither one of you will rape anyone's grandmother or molest children. Wouldn't you be loving one another unconditionally, were those scenarios not to creep into your life?

You're right, in retrospect. I'm not capable of unconditional love. I suppose others could, potentially, be capable. I unwittingly narrowed the field of possibilities to the field of possibilities I am capable of. Others are certainly capable of things I'm not, and to imply otherwise would be rather silly.

Thank you for pointing that out.

Am I misreading you, or is the implication that anyone capable of loving someone unconditionally is willing to overlook abuse, violent tendencies, adultery, etc? I'm attempting to understand why people think it's not possible, but I haven't heard anything specific, other than what you said, JK.

Yes, there is. I love and am loved in return unconditionally by my parents, my best friends, my significant other, and two little children. I might not LIKE those people sometimes, but I ALWAYS love them.

Jinn, yes, there is always a straw that breaks the camel's back, but I think the scenarios you suggested are a bit extreme and unlikely. No one I love unconditionally would ever think of harming another person--and I suppose that is one of the reasons I can trust them with my love.

Nope, that's what I was implying. The reason it is not possible for me to love unconditionally is I am not willing to overlook abuse, violent tendencies and adultery in terms of my "love." I may forgive them, but love I can turn off at will. Someone who IS capable of loving unconditionally (not me), would, I think, have to be able to overlook those things, or be unable to stop loving someone after they've been grievously harmed.

I would never overlook those things.

I am capable of unconditionally loving someone that loves me the same way, but I carefully choose who I give that love to.

Jinn, what about your children? To me, I really think that is the only form of completely unconditional love, no matter what kind of heinous crimes against humanity that they commit.

Otherwise, I agree with you. There is always a line that can be crossed, in any relationship/friendship, that has the potential to rescind the mutual contract of love between two people.

I'd say unconditional love is a beautiful illusion, which can be initiated, maintained and nurtured from whatever beginning until death if, and only if, one or both parties do nothing to screw it/each other over.

One child kills another, for example... but that's unreasonably extreme. Many relationships between parent and child go off the rails - some even become patholigical hatred - for somewhat petty reasons.

So, yes, the intense love that people describe as unconditional exists, but, no, nothing in this life is unconditional.

IMO

Having an identical twin brother is about as close as I will get to it.

I could come up with some hairbrained theory, but for once I'm going to say that I don't have any spawn, so I'm not qualified to say what kind of love I would have regarding them. I think you're right, but who knows..