UKking

Nah. Probably just some casual sex, but even that is a stretch for me.

inBOIL

Depends on how good a friend he is, what my intentions are with her, and whether he's ok with it.

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And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

evilbeefchan

I agree with inBOIL, it really depends: Is this a good friend, did he break it off or did she, how broken up is he about her, etc?

I always go with standard: if this is a relatively good friend, ask if it's ok, no matter what. If he's just a friend of a friend, it really shouldn't matter. If this is a guy you go drinking with, always ask. Even if he's the one that broke it off and swears he's done, ask first.

Plan9

Nope. There are other fish is the sea besides the ones your friend just got rid of due to issues.

Especially not if I interact with said friend on a regular basis such as at work or, say, at a karate studio where his ex somehow got my phone number and wouldn't leave me alone all damn summer because she likes that I read books and stuff.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Nimetic

No... But urh, um... I did have a short relationship of this type once. Wasn't serious however. Just a casual thing and he wasn't a close friend, more a work colleague.

Thing was... based on the history, I didn't think that it'd lead anywhere. It was sorta a secret thing and just a few physical encounters.

So my answer is "no, but yes".

ratbastid

Today is my one-year anniversary with a friend's ex... Sometimes it works out very nicely for everyone involved.

Seaver

evilbeef nailed it.

If you would call him your friend, you must ask. If he says no than it's no unless you plan on breaking off the friendship, cause if he says no and you do it anyways it's going to happen (and you're a shitty friend).

If he's a friend's friend, than she's fair game.

If he says yes, and you know he still pines for her, than it's a no.

__________________
"Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas

Ustwo

Unless shes really hot.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

ratbastid

Goes without saying.

MexicanOnABike

it depends who's the best friend of the 2. If i'm more friends with the girl, than i'll probably not care. Not that I would but if i was single and there was really noone else available, it would have to be that way.

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dlish

but everybody is somebody's ex with issues.

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An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Kaimi

Was it a serious relationship at all? Was it some High School fling ages ago? I wouldn't care if a friend hooked up with some guy I "dated" in junior high for example. Now if it were something very serious, longterm and ended harshly... there is no way I would hurt my friend. Have you asked your friend if it would bother him if you asked her out?

Miss Mango

Yes. Just because they didnt work out doesnt mean you cant. A friend who puts restrictions on your life is not really a friend.

World's King

My friends have dated my ex's (and my sister). So I have no problem with stickin' it in.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Willravel

Date her and remind your friend that you wanted to fuck his girlfriend... and now you are!

What?

Cynthetiq

no.

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Bear Cub

Sex yes, date no. All of my friends are complete idiots, and their SO's are a pretty suitable match for them.

telekinetic

In theory?
Ideally?
Historically?

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twisted no more

Plan9

Masturbation is an option for those who feel that everybody has "issues."

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Fotzlid

sure.
unless she was some sort of psycho-bitch.

Push-Pull

Um, well, given my status of "married", I'll answer this from a happy, imaginary place. As said before, if the person is a true "You can call me to help you bury the bodies" type of friend, then no. Acquaintances will depend on how much they could influence the misery level in my life.

A somewhat related, interesting story. Years ago, I had two different friends that did not know one another. Friend A was dating girl B. Girl B was a bit, uh, under-powered in the brains department, and was horridly clingy. Anyhow, Girl B decides to stop into my place of employ where friend C also worked. A short time later, friend A breaks it off with girl B, and girl B starts calling me crying about it. Friend C asks me what's going on, so I explain. He remembers girl B and asks me if I could hook him up. My reply was something like "Duuuuuuude, you do NOT want to do this!" He wasn't really swayed, and next time he got the call from girl B, he said that I was busy at the moment, but she could come by and visit if she wanted. Anyhow, she came in, and he started in on her, and she (and he) fell for it. I left that place right after that, so I missed the tail end of it, but I did meet him the next year. He promptly bought me a drink and shook my hand and said "I should have listened to you, especially with that look of horror on your face when you said it. Thanks for trying anyway." We don't see each other much, but when we do, I always rub it in a little.

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"Some people are like Slinkies..... They are not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." -Unknown-

DAMMIT! -Jack Bauer-

MiSo

if two ppl want to see each other it should be entirely their decision to do so.
come on now, we're adults. it would be childish to say to a friend
"hey, you can't date xxx because we were once together"

i do think friends feelings should be taken into consideration, ie... timing of the relationship; but i wouldn't blacklist someone because they dated a friend.

dlish

sloppy seconds are not my piece of cake..

cromp.. neither is perpetual masturbation...but still..eveyone has 'issues'

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

soma

i wouldnt do it

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belezabaub

I can think of at least 5 girls who a few of my friends have dated. One in particular is a complete bitch and I swear waits until someone is drunk and pounces on them. She was in love with one of my friends for ages and hits on his friends to make him jealous, funny thing is he doesn't care because she is a complete psychopath.

evilbeefchan

Ditto

Redlemon

When I was in high school, my friend dated my ex after she dumped me. Then, after she found out what she was missing, she came back to me.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

The_Jazz

Would and did. Almost married her, too, and there's a chance that it might have lasted, but we were young, dumb and poor. That's 3 strikes.

And he would have been in the wedding party - he was in the one that actually happened, and he wasn't ever NOT cool with us dating and living together. Then again, they'd been over for about a year before I got in the picture.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

highthief

Sure, why not. I can always find another friend.

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Si vis pacem parabellum.

Willravel

What if you're young, dumb and rich?

...I'm asking for a friend...

The_Jazz

I find Crompsin quite clever at times.

Given the celebrity train wrecks that we are forced to witness daily, I have to suspect that it won't help all that much.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

ametc

I'm doing so right now. It's interesting, too, because he treats me a lot better than he treated her.

cyklone

I agree, I'd maybe go a quickie if she was hot, but dating to a relationship and then all the bullshit because of the mixed up emotions when you mix with your mate or your other friends who knew her as a partner to your mate. No thanks, far too much emotional crap.

little_tippler

The first thought I had when reading this thread's title...was

NO.

No excuses. It's just off limits.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Average_Joe

In theory, I would say bad idea.

In reality, sometimes it works out. It did for me.

__________________
I think I'll procrastinate......in a little while.

YaWhateva

When I was in college my best friend and roommate started dating this girl who went to high school with us during summer vacation. They both decided to break up around the time school started back up because they didn't really get along well as a couple, but they are still friends today. I started dating her a month after school started. We have been together for over 4 years and are engaged to be married. There was never any awkwardness between us even when she would come to visit me in me and my best friend's dorm so I guess it was alright with him. I knew that she was way more my type than his though even when they were going out and once we started talking after they broke up I liked her more than any other girl I have ever liked (I fell for her pretty quick) and I think he knew that so he wasn't upset about it. So this stuff can work, it's just a tricky situation I guess

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Sugarmouse

I have done a few times n it has always caused issues but this does not mean it always will do.depends on the folks involved. i would say casual sex is potentially as damaging as a full relationship

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Sugarmouse=Festered

genuinegirly

I have no hard and fast rule about this kind of thing. I can't imagine too many scenarios where it would be healthy for the friendship. I guess it'd come down to asking the friend what the terms of the break-up were, and how they'd feel if I made a move.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Infinite_Loser

Friends > Gf/bf

I wouldn't do it, as there's almost bound to be some drama caused because of it.

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I believe in equality; Everyone is equally inferior to me.

PonyPotato

I've dated a friend of a friend's ex, and the experience for the first few weeks was just dumb and horrible. Won't do it again.

Luckily, most of my friends are guys.. and of my female friends, one of them has totally different taste and the other has her "gay" boyfriends. So my friends' leftovers aren't really tempting.

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"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel