Clearing Up Rumors
 

Yesterday I heard back from a girl I've been dating and she said via myspace that she heard I was seeing other people while dating her. This simply is not true and I'm pretty pissed anyone would tell her that :grumpy:

I haven't contacted her yet, and don't know how to go about convincing her of the truth. I really have no idea how to proceed. it seems like I'm fighting an uphill battle because she's already convinced I'm dating multiple girls at once.

hrm... :confused: :confused: :confused:

hmm.. if its not true, then u should have nothing to worry about.

tell her to get the person to prove it..otherwise they should STFU

sometimes ppl think your dating other people if they see you with someone of the opposite sex.. so maybe thats something to think about

She said she heard this. Doesn't necessarily mean she believes it. But how often do you see her? Maybe it's her commentary on the fact that you don't see one another more often and her assumption that because of that you would be dating others.

Either way, sounds like you're due to evaluate the relationship and decide where you both want it to go. To hell with the rumors, it's up to you to discuss the relationship with her. Myspace isn't life. Call her and talk. That would seem the only way to find out what's really going on.

Talk to her - and ask her what she heard -not necessarily who she heard it from and if it's not true -say so and go forward -

she either trusts you or she doesn't...

Me thinks he doth protest too much might apply - don't spend too much time denying as it might give the image of guilt... Just let it go...

Well, I've always found that exaggeration is a decent way to break down a rumor defense. For example, if you're gonna be dating other girls in her mind, then may as well make it big. Tell her that you're dating 15 different supermodels at the same time by taking them out partying on the $2 million yacht that your grandfather left you and that you all went to Switzerland to party with the Swedish bikini team. Once she tells you to be serious then you can tell her the truth that you are not seeing anyone else, and that you are a little angry and a bit hurt that she'd believe otherwise.

On a more serious note, I'd keep an eye on what she is "told". If it becomes a regular occurrence, I'd consider ditching.....

You are innocent and she hasn't accused you of anything before, then you have no reason to get angry. Go like Push-Pull says. Only make it a twist, she did mention people... so say, "Yes I am cheating on you with [insert male friend's name here]. We are going to get a house together. You just don't listen to me when I say I am not cheating on you, but he listens to me. He doesn't have trust issues with me." That will either make her crack a smile or tear her to pieces... If it is the latter... see below.

My own thoughts are that MySpace generally not a good way to hold a relationship. Firstly, Gotta stop that.

She might have trust issues with you and you need to have those resolved, or else the relationship cannot go anywhere. Is she going to believe someone she heard this from someone who heard that from them who said they heard it from Gary who saw you hold hands with Trish McMiller? Or is she going to trust you? If she trusts... that long line of nonsense I typed out...

BELOW:
... Well you can either salvage what might be there or ... not.

Just go at it calm. There isn't too much damage. It is frustrating, but giving in to that makes the situation unpredictable.

Best thing to do would be to have her come over and walk in while you are banging a couple of coke whores while wearing nipple clamps and snorting blow off of their asses ala Doogie.

Then just tell her you are expanding your horizons and not really cheating so much as being creative with your free time.

All this drama with this girl. We've had drama meeting her, asking her out, and now... this.

If you're really not seeing other people, this should be very easy to clear up.

Meanwhile, I recommend a 5000mg chill pill for you, amigo. Not everything is a god damn soap opera.

Agreed 100%!

... Not the factorial of 100% ... which would be still be 1, or 100%.

Drama turns to stress leading to one of you imagining either oneself or the other dead. ... You don't need that shit. Role playing, adventure, new things, all OK. But once one of you starts treating it like a soap opera (despite trust built up over time), and not appreciating the other's presence, kindness, affection, input, output, thoughts, love, etc, etc... then it goes to hell.

Oh's no he double posted! Save us PHP double-post algorithm!

This is also why I never say anything important, or allow anything important said to me for that matter, over MySpace...

Thank you PHP double-post algorthm!

Oh Christ on a stick.

First, her thinking you are dating multiple women isn't all bad. It shows you to be a desirable male. Now she might feel she has some competition, this tends to help.

But thats not the freeking issue here....

Dude....

Get her alone some place, kiss her on the lips, stick your tongue in her mouth and get at it.

Then you can forget all the other crap.

That or you can putz around, stalking her myspace page, wondering what to do next.

Odds are if she says no to the kissing thing, shes never going to want to anyways and you can move on. If she wants you she will, or at least not reject it outright.

Don't forget to consider that she might be the one cheating on you? It's a typical response to draw attention away from her fooling around. Now I'm not saying this is what's happening, but I've personally seen this happen, when I wasn't fooling around at all, and had no reason for them to suspect me of cheating.

I may not agree with Ustwo about a lot of other stuff but he's spot on with dating advice.:thumbsup:

I find it is best not to concur with him directly but to use Emeril-like noises of affirmation so as not to incite further conversation.

No, wait, he's right.

I'd be more concerned that she's discussing your "relationship" through Myspace rather than the phone or face-to-face.

Good.
Someone else was thinking the same thing. As the product of a by-gone era, where we would actually meet our friends, and talk to them face to face, I tend to raise eyebrows over things like dating over MySpace.
But...whatdoIknow? I actually mailed out real paper Christmas cards again this year.

Just think, right now, a future great president is ruining their changes of getting elected due to the stuff they are posting on their myspace page

Yep. Good thing nobody desirable runs for President.

Fuck it man, if she is talking about it over myspce, tell her how disappointed you are about her discussing it over myspace, say you thought you had something special hang up the phone. If she rings back you know you have a shag sometime soon and if she doesn't, well fuck it, spend your time on some other lovely lady... Women like drama thats why they watch soap operas... However when considering my advice I haven't sex in quite a while

you're in the power position. haven't been accused and you're not cheating. It'll keep her on her toes - just let her stew instead of being the other way around. Better to work out the trust issues ASAP - and yeah, you're not married - and unless it's a truly committed relationship - ain't nothin' really holding you back from shopping around. Let her know that respect is a two way street and she must earn yours just as much as you must earn hers by being casual about it - and just asking for proof if there is such as accusation. "what do you think?" is always a wonderful question when used with the right tone of voice ;)