Heres a month to remember - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

paulinapolk · 07-12-2007, 02:27 AM

Ok, precaution: I am not an asshole, although I may do asshole-ish things. lease dont judge me for a certain mistake Ill be mentioning. Im just an idiot, but all has been forgiven.

Now, on with the show -

June and July have been horrible.

First of all, my gf and I move out of her parents house and in with my friend and her bf. Everythings cool for a while, till my friends gets pissed and irritated with my gf because she doesnt help around the house as much.

Then, my friends from my old job arent talking to me, because my gf and I went to a party. I got wasted. The cops showed up. Everything was cool, until the cops showed up. I grabbed my friend T, because we were the only ones under 21. So, he has this brilliant idea to hide in a room off to our right. Its pitch black and I stub my toe. I take my shoes off to prevent any further disasters. Anyways, fast-foreward ... one thing leads to another and Im giving the dip shit a BJ.

I dont go around doing those things. I dont even know how it started. Weve always had this sexual-tension, but it was all just fun and games and jokes, but I never imagined Id/Wed being doing anything. Weve always been really close, but we knew it was wrong.

So, theres that.

2 weeks later, after several phone calls to my friend E, who had the party, about my shoes and my gf jacket we left .. I find out via my roommate that I knocked over a bunch of paint cans and ruined brand new carpet and apparently my gf was out side yelling and had the cops called.

I never heard her .. once, but its possible.

My roommate goes off, preaching about how this isnt a daycare and we should own up to what we do, and so on and so forth; basically using the youre younger than I am, therefore youre immature, inferior beings card.

I just let her vent her steam, since she was being bitched at all night at Es house. I asked my gf for the phone, and within the past week and a half, Ive left 2 voicemail messages apologizing and explaining I didnt know I had done that b/c it was so dark; and that I am wanting to, and I am willing to pay whatever amount necessary to repair any damages - nothing. Not even a voicemail.

I know I can only go so far, but I keep beating myself up for that party. I told my gf the next day, I explained everything, and anything she wanted to know. Shes fine about it. She hates him, but shes ok with it. She knows Im not going aournd whoring myself out or anything and its definitely not in my true nature to do something like that, and I am infact dumbfounded that I even did.

Anyways, Im getting pissed because Im putting my self out there, punishing myself, and basically groveling because I fucked up, but she wont even meet me half way, let alone 1/3 or 1/4 of the way.

I dont know what to do. I guess get over it?

What are your lovely peoples opinions?

Miss Mango · 07-12-2007, 05:51 AM

First off, the party people. If E doesn't want to call you back about repairing the damage, their loss. You owned up to it, you're willing to take responsibility for it, and they're being the bitches about it if they're not trying to come to a resolution about it.

Secondly, your roommates. I've always been younger than all my friends, with the exception of one who is only three days younger than I am. I've had plenty who pull that "I'm older than you are" bullshit, and to be honest, that's exactly what it is. However, you can't change how they're going to see things unless you prove it to them. So get with your g/f and talk to her about doing more around the house because that's obviously a problem that's pissing them off. Helping out and cleaning up after yourself is a sure sign of growing up and gaining a sense of responsibility. The sooner she starts showing it to your roommates, the sooner they'll get off your back. Everyone needs to pitch, and they need to stfu because that trash talking doesn't help in the least to better the situation.

Cynthetiq · 07-12-2007, 06:15 AM

the answers are really simple:

forgive yourself first. everything else will fall into place after that happens.

paulinapolk · 07-13-2007, 12:48 AM

Thank you, both of you. I have and she does, but infrequently. I hate it too. I work two jobs and go to school, and still come home, pick up, do dishes on my days off, laundry, etc.

She has severe Bipolar disorder, so I can understand, but she doesnt grasp the concept of having to force yourself to do things, or else youll just sink further down in your depression (think about this, Im such a hypocrite. I should take my own advice. Easier said than done).

lurkette · 07-13-2007, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paulinapolk

Thank you, both of you. I have and she does, but infrequently. I hate it too. I work two jobs and go to school, and still come home, pick up, do dishes on my days off, laundry, etc.

She has severe Bipolar disorder, so I can understand, but she doesnt grasp the concept of having to force yourself to do things, or else youll just sink further down in your depression (think about this, Im such a hypocrite. I should take my own advice. Easier said than done).

One, is she on meds? Two, is she seeking treatment for the bipolar disorder? It's so hard living with someone with bipolar, but it's harder still if they're not interested in getting better.

Lastly, how have you asked her to help out? If it's just a general "do more around the house" request, chances are she can't quite pick a starting place and it feels overwhelming. If you give her specific things to do - like on Tuesdays you have to have the dishes done by 8:30 or something like that - it makes it a lot easier than having to motivate herself AND plan things. Structure can help a lot.

07-12-2007, 02:27 AM	#1 (permalink)
paulinapolk Upright	Heres a month to remember Ok, precaution: I am not an asshole, although I may do asshole-ish things. lease dont judge me for a certain mistake Ill be mentioning. Im just an idiot, but all has been forgiven. Now, on with the show - June and July have been horrible. First of all, my gf and I move out of her parents house and in with my friend and her bf. Everythings cool for a while, till my friends gets pissed and irritated with my gf because she doesnt help around the house as much. Then, my friends from my old job arent talking to me, because my gf and I went to a party. I got wasted. The cops showed up. Everything was cool, until the cops showed up. I grabbed my friend T, because we were the only ones under 21. So, he has this brilliant idea to hide in a room off to our right. Its pitch black and I stub my toe. I take my shoes off to prevent any further disasters. Anyways, fast-foreward ... one thing leads to another and Im giving the dip shit a BJ. I dont go around doing those things. I dont even know how it started. Weve always had this sexual-tension, but it was all just fun and games and jokes, but I never imagined Id/Wed being doing anything. Weve always been really close, but we knew it was wrong. So, theres that. 2 weeks later, after several phone calls to my friend E, who had the party, about my shoes and my gf jacket we left .. I find out via my roommate that I knocked over a bunch of paint cans and ruined brand new carpet and apparently my gf was out side yelling and had the cops called. I never heard her .. once, but its possible. My roommate goes off, preaching about how this isnt a daycare and we should own up to what we do, and so on and so forth; basically using the youre younger than I am, therefore youre immature, inferior beings card. I just let her vent her steam, since she was being bitched at all night at Es house. I asked my gf for the phone, and within the past week and a half, Ive left 2 voicemail messages apologizing and explaining I didnt know I had done that b/c it was so dark; and that I am wanting to, and I am willing to pay whatever amount necessary to repair any damages - nothing. Not even a voicemail. I know I can only go so far, but I keep beating myself up for that party. I told my gf the next day, I explained everything, and anything she wanted to know. Shes fine about it. She hates him, but shes ok with it. She knows Im not going aournd whoring myself out or anything and its definitely not in my true nature to do something like that, and I am infact dumbfounded that I even did. Anyways, Im getting pissed because Im putting my self out there, punishing myself, and basically groveling because I fucked up, but she wont even meet me half way, let alone 1/3 or 1/4 of the way. I dont know what to do. I guess get over it? What are your lovely peoples opinions?

07-12-2007, 06:15 AM	#3 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	the answers are really simple: forgive yourself first. everything else will fall into place after that happens. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

07-12-2007, 05:51 AM	#2 (permalink)
Miss Mango Psycho	First off, the party people. If E doesn't want to call you back about repairing the damage, their loss. You owned up to it, you're willing to take responsibility for it, and they're being the bitches about it if they're not trying to come to a resolution about it. Secondly, your roommates. I've always been younger than all my friends, with the exception of one who is only three days younger than I am. I've had plenty who pull that "I'm older than you are" bullshit, and to be honest, that's exactly what it is. However, you can't change how they're going to see things unless you prove it to them. So get with your g/f and talk to her about doing more around the house because that's obviously a problem that's pissing them off. Helping out and cleaning up after yourself is a sure sign of growing up and gaining a sense of responsibility. The sooner she starts showing it to your roommates, the sooner they'll get off your back. Everyone needs to pitch, and they need to stfu because that trash talking doesn't help in the least to better the situation.

07-13-2007, 12:48 AM	#4 (permalink)
paulinapolk Upright	Thank you, both of you. I have and she does, but infrequently. I hate it too. I work two jobs and go to school, and still come home, pick up, do dishes on my days off, laundry, etc. She has severe Bipolar disorder, so I can understand, but she doesnt grasp the concept of having to force yourself to do things, or else youll just sink further down in your depression (think about this, Im such a hypocrite. I should take my own advice. Easier said than done).