little_tippler

I guess this a rather strange thing to post, but how do you guys feel about height differences in a relationship?

I know it's something superficial and not that important, especially if you're really into someone. In a way that answers my own question.

I'm not that tall, just 5'4", or 1m 64, but recently I've found myself noticing that most men in my city are rather short. Well it's normal, in Portugal the average man is shorter than in a lot of places nowadays, we must have some sort of gene that makes us short on average. For girls here, I'm actually on the taller side, which is funny because whenever I go abroad I feel little.

I'll see a guy I think is interesting and then I'll be standing next to him and suddenly think "he's shorter than me. And I'm not even wearing heels". Recently this has happened a lot. I've never been with a man who's shorter than me. I like looking up a little - I wonder why.

So do you think if I met someone who was great in all respects, but then I realised he was just a little shorter than me (say a few cms), should that be important? I'm not sure I could date a guy who's shorter than me - or even my height.

Sometimes I feel quite mature but when I catch myself thinking this sort of thing I just have to laugh. So, does height matter? I'd love to hear what stories you have to tell.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

pig

tippler,

checking in from the southeastern united states, i can say that its a very common position for chicks down here to take: i will not date a man shorter than i am. that's not to say it doesn't happen; but when my sister was single, it was one of the first things she would mention about a prospective "new guy." or, if he happened to be short, and they happened to have a bad date, it was always "and he was shorter than me too."

i would say that i think you should give the short guys a chance too; but when you have the reaction you posted about - don't think you're alone.

__________________
You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

Grasshopper Green

I'm 5'3. I've met very few men in my life that are as short or shorter than me. When I was dating, it never really entered my mind to not date a guy that was shorter than me...probably because it was unlikely.

Many years ago I worked in a candy shop and an NBA player and his wife came in. She was an inch or two taller than me...and he was over 7 feet tall. THAT was a massive height difference!

__________________
"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"

Formerly Medusa

analog

i tend to be turned off if a woman is taller than me... it's not a conscious, "she's taller than me, i don't like that"... it's more like it's built into the feeling of attraction... I just go for women who are shorter than me. They don't have to be much shorter than me- in fact, my same height is also good, one of my long-time girlfriend was my same height.

highthief

I think it's just ingrained in us - women seek strong men, concsiously or not, and the most obvious outward sign of this is size (even though a guy who is shorter may well be physically more powerful than a taller guy).

At 5'7", I'm definitely not tall - I've dated women taller and shorter than me; my wife is 5'6". I think she figures as long as I can toss her around in our matrimonial relations, she's happy.

__________________
Si vis pacem parabellum.

Manic_Skafe

Just as hightheif said, I think it's more ingrained in us than it is a conscious descion we make - in the same sense that tanned people usually seem more attractive simply because tanned skin gives the impression of health and vibrancy.

And there certainly isn't anything wrong with having your preferences just as long as you realize that you aren't very likely to find someone that meets them all. Know your preferences, maintain your standards and keep an open mind.

I've found that even though I've never had a lover I'd consider to be the total package (physically and otherwise)but, the ones I've loved the most were the ones that forced me to question what I believed and realize that I have the potential to love and accept much more than I ever thought I could. Were it not for them I wouldn't know or notice many of the things I currently consider to be major turn-ons.

edit: I'm 6'2" and my 5'5" g/f is one of the most assertive people I've ever met and a large part of what turns me on about her is not having to feel like as the man I must always bear the responsibility of having to be in control. I suppose as somewhat of a reverse effect of what I imagine you may feel - having someone who's so small in stature take control, especially in the bedroom, is a major turn-on.

__________________
"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

MexicanOnABike

I always loved tall woman but I never really found one that wanted to date me haha. I'm 6'2 so a girl between 5'10 to 6'1 would be great! but it's still fun to be with someone who's average height for a girl. 5'5ish.

overall, height doesn't bother me at all. but I do have my limits. if a woman is taller than me, it might be weird and uncomfortable. and if she's 1foot shorter, it might just be awkward to be around her. how do you kiss someone who's the height of a kid? it's just weird.

__________________

- Movie Reviews - Ratings-

Sultana

I think for me the important thing is that I don't out-weigh them, heh. Not that a shorter, fatter guy would automatically be in the running more than a shorter, slender guy, but I guess I don't want to feel like I could easily physically overpower him.

Heh, how's that for evolutionary feedback? I can't really justify it, but that's how it is for me. I guess I wouldn't want to worry about if I'm gonna hurt him while ummm, riding him or something like.

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

ShaniFaye

at 5'2 I really dont have that decision to make BUT if I did I honestly dont think height would play any part of a deciding factor as to whether I'd go out with him

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

CaliLivChick

I'm totally in on this one... I'm 5'8", and one of the guys I'm dating is 5'9"... I enjoy wearing heels, and it doesn't bother him when I'm taller than him, but it bothers me. It's a power thing. I want to feel safe and secure with the man I'm with, and feel that he could protect me. If I'm taller or weigh more than him, I don't feel like he could protect me as much as I could protect him, and I don't want to be that vulnerable. Also, for the weight thing, I want to be able to wear his jeans and have them be big on me... I feel fat if his clothes are smaller than mine.

__________________
Don't trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die. Oh wait, that's me... nevermind... you can trust me.

Toaster126

Height isn't something people can change (without EXTREME difficulty), so I don't worry about it in the slightest.

I have heard that my height (6'5") is a turn-on, and I'm okay with that.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

Ilow

I am of average height, at least around here (5'10") so I have had plenty of opportunity to date girls who are both significantly shorter (4'10") and about my height (5'9", taller than me by a hair with heels). The girls I date now are about 5'4" and 5'6" and I'm pretty happy with that, but there is something about a shorter girl that feels really good. It's a nice "fit" for spooning etc. and probably goes back to the previously refered to biological underpinnings of our behavior that dictate that a man feels like the protector and the woman feels safe. I have a friend who is almost my height and solidly athleticly built and I am always urging her to try to find some really big football player type who can toss her around, she likes fireman, so there may be hope...
Also since I'm built like a truck (215+) any girl I date better be significantly less than me in weight.

__________________
"Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about"
--Sam Harris

Jetée

WHOA Toastie. I don't think anyone at scool or at work comes close to being 6'2'', let alone 6'5".

I, on the other hand, am a bit on the below average scale, either being 5'2"(I don't think so) or 5'7"(more problable).

Don't really have the initiative to find out for sure.

serlindsipity

Toast- my boy is your height as well, and for some of us shrimps (me bieng 5' 4") we say- the taller the better!

I will admittingly lump myself in the group of girls who like not just taller guys, but the guys who are really really tall. I dont know why, but a pair of long arms wrapped around you is like icing on the cake. Oh, and its nice to have osmeone who can get to the top shelves and the lightbulbs in the house.

__________________
My third eye is my camera's lens.

blade02

I'm a taller guy (though 6ft2 is getting to become more average these days) and find myself dating either taller blondes (5ft8 to 5ft10) or shorter brunettes (5ft2 to 5ft4). I'm not sure why it works out that way, I guess its just my natural attractions and their attractions to me. I don't put height down on my "attraction matrix" but I think its somehow factored in with the overall build.

epoxy27

Being 5tf4, I enjoyed the irrony of going out a few times with a girl who was almost 6ft. We were really more friends then anything else. But the looks we would get from people were amusing.

snowy

I'm 5'8", and so through most of junior high I was taller than the majority of the boys. They caught up eventually, and my SO is 6'2".

My dad is 6'5" and my mother is 5'3". I never really worried about height difference; in fact, the guy I had a crush on all through high school was shorter than I was, and the guy I had my first time LTR with was 5'7".

I've always liked to wear high heels; I guess I just never let being taller than boys bother me. There are still parts of this country I can go to where I, even at 5'8" (which is only a little less than the average height of a male in the United States), am taller than everyone else. And that's okay with me.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

*Nikki*

I'm 5'10" and there is no way I would (when I was single) date a short guy.

I once met a really perfect short guy when I was sitting down on a bar stool. Well we got along great and exchanged #'s. It wasn't until I stood up that I realized how much taller I was then him.
I went on ONE date and OMG he was hot and sweet and everything I was looking for.......but he was several inches shorter then me. I just couldn't take it. It didn't bother him, but it was all I could think about. I didn't see him again even though he kept calling.

clavus

Me - 5'7" on a good day. *sigh* I guess I'll never have a chance with *Nikki*
My wife - 6' tall and yummy.

The only people who have a problem with this are photographers who always try to pose us so it looks like I'm taller - which is fucking hillarious to us.

But if you don't like short guys FUCK YOU... oops! I mean if you don't like short guys, don't worry about it. Go with what you like, and don't let anybody try to convince you otherwise.

__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

*Nikki*

clavus there are exceptions to everything....I might make one for you

fresnelly

I remember a TV news-magazine (20/20? 60min? Dateline?) story demonstrating Women's reluctance to date short men. They put a linup of men of varying heights up for viewing by a group of women behind one-way glass - much like a police lineup. Then they asked who they found the most attractive and who they would consider dating, marrying etc... The shortest guy there was a multi-millionare and he was picked last in every catergory. Once the host revealed his financial status, the women were still reluctant to consider him, though to a lesser degree.

Now I'm sure the Producers went out of their way to stack the "experiment" so it would generate the most sensational results, but I believe there is a bias towards historical norms. Whether it's due to cultural or genetic reasons is the same old dilemma as any other behaviour.

Accordingly, I'm not generally attracted to very tall women.

__________________
Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

highthief

Maybe Dove will start a "real beauty" campaign for men under 6'0". That'll make everything right in the world again ...

__________________
Si vis pacem parabellum.

Impetuous1

I'm very short (4'11") and have no bias against dating short men. Although I did at one time. Until I realized I was being a hypocrite. I guess I'm strange in that I don't feel like I need to be protected. I'll be right on my man's side fighting along with him, if needs be. My man is short too and it's fine with me because it feels like we're equals. Plus, I may be able to take him in a fight.

eileenbunny

I'm 5'4" and I dated a guy who was exactly my size. I could even wear his clothes although he didn't wear mine too much . Even his shoes fit me! It rocked. I've got no problems dating short guys. However, I married a guy who is 6'4". We look silly together. In the picture of our first kiss at our wedding it looks like I am hanging on him.

777

Well, I happen to be 5' 11 1/2" (1.82m), just short of the big 6ft. Although I prefer to be with a gal that's around my height, it's not a big deal. And since I grew up in a town that's mostly mexican and asian (both know for being short), I got use to short gals

I remember chatting with a gal I used to know while we were both looking at a poster of sexual positions, and the only problem she has when dating guys are that if there's a large difference in height, "If we try a 69, it's either just a 6 or just a 9." But it's not that important to her.

__________________
"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip."

Roger Zelazny

Nimetic

I think it's like a lot of preferences... a soft rule.

When I was single, I'd be thinking "she looks ok, but... (some physical thing here)".

But that's from a distance. Other factors come in to play once I actually meet somebody. At that point I might be thinking stuff like "She's a pretty blonde but she never smiles", or "She has a beautiful face but she's such an insincere flirt". Or "I can't stand that accent".

So I don't think you're being shallow. As long as you give people somewhat of a chance - and remember that your talking about your preferences rather than an absolute judgement - eg I like dark hair personally, but I wouldn't say that blondes are inferior.

Does that make sense?

Rinndalir

At a towering 5'7" I have always wondered about dating a tall woman. I have dated a girl exactly my height but never one taller than me. I'd hate to think I've been shot down based on my height alone but if I have, so be it.

My wife is 4'11" so everyone is tall to her!

abaya

I'm 5'2", ktspktsp is 5'11"... but he is only about 8 lbs heavier than me, and I like the fact that we can toss each other around pretty much equally in that aspect. We wrestle all the time (not as foreplay! Just to wrestle and have fun, seriously) and it wouldn't be fun if he always won

I like having a more equal partner physically/strengthwise, though of course it's nice that I can fit under his chin and all that. I wouldn't like some huge muscle man, because then I'd always feel less strong... I don't care so much about protection, since I agree with Impetuous1 above that I'd rather fight alongside my man than stand back and scream for help and be a victim.

So I don't think height has much to do with it... just that the person would have to be about as strong and confident as I am, not too much stronger/more cocky. But that also has more to do with attitude... and a lot of short guys have bad/annoying attitudes, unfortunately! Napoleon complex, I guess. (Of course, if someone was shorter than ME, that would be rather odd... I'm a shrimp!)

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran