woohog1

Ok, get ready for a story. I was changing the shocks on my finace's Jeep, when the jack rolled out of the way and the jeep ended up on my leg. I was pinned between the rotor and the axel. Well, I am ok. Just ended up going to the hospital and having some really terrible bruising.
But here is the back part of the story.
Recently she has been having lots of car problems. I know how to fix most of them, but her father used to be the one to fix all those things. (her dad died 3 years ago) well when I go to fix something she says " thats not how daddy used to do it" or " your not doing it the right way like my daddy did." So on tuesday I told her that in order to change her shocks I would need a hydraulic jack. I told her at least 3 times that I can remember for sure. She said something like "well ask my mom, or talk to my cousin. Well I did, and her mom said that she didnt know where it was, and her uncle is close to an hour and a half away.
But what I am the most upset about is that I specifically told her countless times what tool I would need in order to get the job and she just totally just blew me off. I then proceeded to do the job the way she wanted it done, and in the time that she wanted it done. Then when the car fell on my leg and I got out of the emergency room she babied me for all of 6 hours, then after that she gets mad when I ask her to help me with something, but she also gets mad when I try to do something myself. Im in a no win situtation.
Advice please? Anything at all. Im sure that there are things that I did wrong in this situtation also, and I want to know about them as well. Thanks in advance.

P.S. Im ok, just in case you were wondering. I just have some bad cuts, and bruises but no broken bones.

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DaveOrion

Look Dude, I'm sorry you hurt your leg, but I'm almost positive I remember posting links which included safety precautions. I also remember hearing other members post about "jack stands". I also told you again in the shoutbox about how I bought a set of jackstands and a floor jack from advance auto parts. Sorry Woo!! But Damn Dude, dont let your women dictate how you work on a car, if you know how then great, if not take it to a pro! I am sorry about your accident, its those kinda things that will always keep you thinkin about safety. I joined the army as a combat medic, was then trained as an EMT and finally went to college under the GI Bill for Emergency Medicine and got my associates degree for paramedic. I did have the unfortunate experience of pulling a dead guy out from under a car that he was working on, which had fallen on him because he didnt use jack stands!! One of many horror stories, but the point is, Always work Safely!! I'm sorry again, but you are responsible for your own life, dont throw it away needlessly!! Please be more careful in the future! My daughter is 23 and in college so dont feel alone, I tell her the same stuff all the time!

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Syriana...have you ever tried liquid MDMA?....Liquid MDMA? No....Arash, when you wanna do this?.....After prayer...

Jinn

I dropped a car on myself once just changing the tire, but luckily there was just enough ground clearance that it landed on the rotor rather than my leg.

Scary shit. Sorry to hear you ended up with a car on top of you.

That said, I've learned that if you are doing something for someone, you do it YOUR way. If they want you to do it another way, then they can find someone else to do it. Beggars can't be choosers, and even with the death of her father she has to learn to let you do things your way. If you consistently bend and do things FOR her HER way, you'll end up teaching a bad lesson.

I'd just work on setting the rule that if you're doing something for someone, then they have no right to dictate how you do it. In this case, you could have simply refused to do it until she got you a jack.

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shakran

1) as others have mentioned, it is absolutely stupid to do any work on the underside of a car unless you have it supported by jack stands. Jacks can collapse. Jack stands generally cannot. A hydraulic jack is nice to have, but it is no replacement for jack stands. It sounds to me like you need to start thinking a lot more about safety before you do a job.


2) You are not your fiance's father. You do not have to act like your fiance's father. You are not obligated to replace your fiance's father. Make sure your fiance understands and accepts this, before she becomes your wife.

woohog1

Dave, yea you told me so, I then proceeded to tell her about, I dont know 5 or 6 times. Im not saying that it isnt entirely my fault, just that the woman wouldn't shut up and let me do it my own friggin way.
I wish I could have found some way to tell her to let me do it my own way, but alas she is so dang hard headed that she had to have it done the way she wanted and at the time she wanted it done. I just wanted to pass on the news to ya'll . Thankfully I didnt break anything and the only thing that hurts more than my big bruise is my pride.

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Bill O'Rights

First off, just to parrot everyone else...jackstands are innexpensive. Get a set.

Second...if your fiance is so adamant about having a job done the way she wants, then there's really only one thing do. Have her do it herself.

Curious though...was it because her father used a scissors jack and no jack stands that she felt that you had to as well?

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The_Jazz

As a guy that sees the wages of idiocy every single day, I can tell you that, in my experience, the average scissor jack manufacturer gets a claim on a fatality about every 2 years. It's not that their products fail, more that they're used innappropriately. Improper use of equipment kills or maims more people than anyone cares to realize. My job is scary sometimes.

woohog1, please don't show up on one of my loss runs. I would have to explain your death or dismemberment would be rendered into a oneliner to an underwriter, and neither of us wants that.

Finally, in my experience, a customer has no right to dictate which safety equipment will be used by the mechanic working on the car. Its your life. If she wants that equipment used, she can do it herself. I suggest that you keep a silent vigil with a cell phone with 911 already dialed in.

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Cynthetiq

I can't talk about safety and what is required, but I know it's important. I had a friend in my youth that died because the car rolled back on top of him off the ramps. Boom, dead.

You aren't Daddy and you never will be.

IMO, It is easier to just take the car to the shop and you guys go to the movies or spend time together doing something together. A couple of those expenses and you explaining that it's easier to NOT hear her telling you how to do it should sew this right up. She can either pay the expense or shut the hell up.

glad you are okay.

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Sultana

So you told her you needed a jack to do the work, she blew you off, you did the work anyways and got hurt--is that correct?

The first weak link I see is that you did the work anyways. I'm surprised your fiance doesn't seem concerned about your safety.

The second is that you are letting her dictate how you do things. If you complete the job with a high standard of quality, then *you* need to make her stop that, one way or another. I could see her offering input if you don't do it right, or well, or completely. But in those cases, I would have her do the work, all the while you can watch over her shoulder and offer helpful hints, lol!

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DaveOrion

As already stated:Then let her do the work!! Your pride will heal, and I hope you dont give up on your projects. I always got a lot of satisfaction from working on my cars. I dont trust mechanics anyway, I save alot of money, and I'm sure the job is done correctly. Please get the proper tools for the job, and as I said before a Haynes manual will help immensly. I also use a code reader and a multimeter alot. If you have a car with a computer and sensors, these are a must. I saw a floor jack with 3 stands on eBay for $45, shipping included.http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/NEW-2...em160092897209 Good Luck & Be Careful!

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Syriana...have you ever tried liquid MDMA?....Liquid MDMA? No....Arash, when you wanna do this?.....After prayer...

MSD

If she doesn't like the way you do car work, she can spend $90/hr on a mechanic and deal with 500% markups on parts. Next time she says something about doing it the "wrong" way, respond with, "That's what you told me last time and I ended up pinned under the car because I didn't have the right tools."

Philangicality

There is no reason for someone to be mad at a person that was trying to help them, even if the attempt created more problems.

Jetée

Apparently, you have never had experience in politics.

As for your situation woohog:
Follow this solid advice because it will serve you well. If you ever want to heal wounded pride and resolve conflicts, the best way to do it is with utter confidence in the belief that things can and will get better.

Hopefully your scrapes and bumps are better by now.

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