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Hi,

My friend is in need of advice. So I told her I would
post her symptoms here and I will pass along any info to
her.

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I don't know what to do. In the past few weeks, I've had two "flares" of whatever is happening in my pelvic area. The second one just started yesterday, and I could only sleep for four hours last night because of a constant sensation that wouldn't go away.

I used to think it was just my bladder, but now the sensations have moved to other parts of my pelvis, and I feel them anywhere from my belly button down and even into my groin. When the sensations aren't located around what I feel to be my bladder, trying to go to the bathroom is a pointless exercise. It's almost like my whole pelvis has become one big bladder, because the closest I can describe these sensations as is urinary pressure. There's nothing I can do to make the pressure go away when it hits me. I feel terribly helpless.

Last night, for example, I had a constant feeling of pressure near the top of my groin, but below the level of the bladder. I lay in bed crying, because there was no point to even getting up to go to the bathroom. The sensations started yesterday morning and continued through the night to today. I don't feel it as much right now, but that doesn't mean it's not going to come back. When it stops I feel hopeful, but then when it starts up again I feel like I'll never be able to live a normal life.

A long time back I stopped being able to have normal sexual relationships, because instead of arousal I feel like my private parts are wanting to urinate. I'll be blunt: I don't even bother trying to touch myself anymore, because the sensations are so altered. I guess when I was manic I worshiped the idea of sexuality, but I don't recall my body working any better - I just sort of pretended that my sensations of needing to urinate were actually sexual sensations.

I also still don't have perfectly great urinations - sometimes only a few drops comes out, and other times it feels like the stream is more full and a significant amount leaves my bladder. But whereas earlier I associated better streams with less annoying sensations, now it seems that the annoying sensations are there without the bladder even being involved. I can't understand where these odd feelings are coming from. I've never heard anyone describe the symptoms I have.

I told my mom today that if this keeps up and no one helps me there'll come a day when I'll want to kill myself.

She phoned my family doctor and got a prescription for Ativan to help me sleep tonight. She said he told her that he doesn't think it's anything serious. And in the past, he's just casually mentioned that there's a condition called "irritable bladder", though more recently he also mentioned "interstitial cystitis". I always test negative for UTI, though the bladder pressure sensations started with a UTI years ago. I think he's referring me for an ultrasound, but I don't know if anything will show up there. I think it's possible that the problem is neurological, connected with my spine - I fell on my tailbone six years ago, and after that was when I first started having trouble with sexual sensation, and a few years later the trouble extended to random flares of weird sensations, even in the absence of any stimulation of the pelvic area. But I had an MRI of my lower back a few years ago, and nothing abnormal showed up. The "natural" crowd talks about "yeast" and "detoxification". A year and a half ago the infrared sauna helped me regain some energy, but I don't know if it helped my bladder. And there's no evidence to suggest that "yeast" is my problem - it seems like a fad diagnosis. I've even thought about trying ThreeLac (a probiotic supplement that eats yeast), but without real evidence that yeast is the issue, I don't want to shell out all that money.

My mom also talked about phoning my psychiatrist, thinking, I suppose, that my antidepressant isn't working enough. But who wouldn't be depressed with these horrible recurring symptoms?

I feel very hopeless right now. All I want to do is try to lie down and regain some of the sleep I lost last night - if I can even sleep, given how the sensations are. Last night I thought about going to the emergency room, but I don't think they would treat my problems as an emergency anyways. Maybe they'd also think I just need a better antidepressant.

Do these symptoms twig anything for anyone? Any thoughts? Any suggestions? I am taking Seroquel. I'm even considering Lithium, since it has a real track record. Lamictal is also a possibility ? The feelings I have are not acceptable to me. The persistent sadness, the constant sense of stupidity and trouble focusing... I can't live like this.

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