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Old 02-15-2007, 10:31 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Location: Iceland
Living will, power of attorney, etc?

So ktspktsp and I have been married for 4 months today, yippee!! But we are moving to Iceland in two weeks and I guess that's making me worry about what would happen if one of us died or was injured accidentally (yeah, morbid I know).

Basically, when and how should a married couple go about establishing a legal safety net for themselves? And how much does that cost?

We're only 27, so I know it's a bit premature, but we all know that shit happens anytime and any place and I don't want one of us being left high and dry if we need to make decisions for the other person, a la Terry Schiavo.

Any tips? Can this be done quickly, or should we wait until we get back from Iceland (1 year)?
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Old 02-15-2007, 11:08 AM   #2 (permalink)
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You should have done it when you got engaged. Seriously.

It is very easy to do, and there are examples of boilerplate language if you google "boilerplate living will". I'm hesitant to give you any actual links myself since I don't know what you guys are looking for or how you want to provide for one another. You can also get a lawyer to draw something up for you.

Also, if neither of you have actual wills, you should also do that. It's the prudent thing to do just so that there are no questions. When my wife and I did both together, it cost us a couple hundred dollars for the lawyer, but if you have a friend who's an attorney, you can probably get it done cheaper. Unfortunately, most of my legal friends are either litigators or bankruptcy guys.
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Old 02-15-2007, 11:14 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Yeah, I know we ought to have done it sooner... but hey, 5 months out isn't too bad. We also decided against prenups, if that adds anything to the discussion.

So we can draw up our own living will, sans lawyer? I'll check out the boilerplate thing and see what I can find. Where does one keep these things on file (wallet/purse comes to mind, but is that practical)?

No, neither of us have actual wills. I have one family lawyer in Seattle (we're in PA) but the rest of my contacts are still in law school, lol.

Nor do we have life insurance... I always thought that was for when someone was older, but then again my father had a very dangerous profession and when he died suddenly/accidentally, the life insurance was what kept me and my mom alive. So I wonder if we need to do that, too.

Any other suggestions on legal protection for married couples? I appreciate any insight here.
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Old 02-15-2007, 11:20 AM   #4 (permalink)
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In the most general sense, a written statement of one's wishes, signed and possibly notarized, is sufficient to ensure that ones' medical instructions are carried out. If there are a lot of "ifs, ands and buts" to what you want to happen to you in the event of your incapacitation, you might need something more legalistic, but a DNR or "no extreme measures" or "no life support" order is an extremely simple thing to create.
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Old 02-15-2007, 11:42 AM   #5 (permalink)
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You can sometimes download a DNR pdf from your state's website. Just fill it out then have it notarized. You want to keep a few copies in different places - with family, friend etc. A lawyer would be great but if you can't afford one then the previous would be fine.

It is quite wise for you guys to be doing this and it's never too late (unless your dead) so don't worry about the 4-5 months thing.
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Old 02-15-2007, 11:45 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Location: Iceland
So, let's see here. What's most necessary, it seems, would be:

1) Living will (no lawyer needed; just write out a statement and sign it, and have it on file somewhere accessible)

2) General will ("Last Will and Testament") type thing... can use a boilerplate to divvy up the assets between spouse and family, yes? Again, no lawyer needed?

3) Power of attorney... or is that something that goes automatically to your spouse?

4) Life insurance... necessary??

EDIT: Thanks, Jorgelito... will check it out. We live in PA currently but our residence will be in WA (permanent address, my mom's place)... and we're moving to Iceland for a year. Which state should we use?
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Old 02-15-2007, 11:50 AM   #7 (permalink)
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This may be a dumb question, but is a United States living will good in Iceland?

abaya go to google and type in living will template <insert state you reside in> and use that (but I am still interested to hear from someone on if its good internationally)
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Old 02-15-2007, 11:51 AM   #8 (permalink)
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You don't need a lawyer to write your living will or your general will. I wrote my grandpa's general will, and it stood up to appeal in a Nevada court. I used a Nolo book on will writing: http://www.amazon.com/Nolos-Simple-W...e=UTF8&s=books

And here is a website from the State of Washington about advanced directives (living wills) and resources: http://www.adsa.dshs.wa.gov/pubinfo/legal/
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Old 02-15-2007, 11:55 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Wow, thanks everyone. Snowy, the Nolo book sounds great... I've heard of that brand, highly recommended.

I do wonder about the international aspect, though. What happens when someone dies overseas?
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Old 02-15-2007, 11:58 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ratbastid
In the most general sense, a written statement of one's wishes, signed and possibly notarized, is sufficient to ensure that ones' medical instructions are carried out. If there are a lot of "ifs, ands and buts" to what you want to happen to you in the event of your incapacitation, you might need something more legalistic, but a DNR or "no extreme measures" or "no life support" order is an extremely simple thing to create.
Ratbastid speaks the truth, blah blah blah. Yet again he's got the sage wisdom thing going and is absolutely correct. The boilerplate should give you a very good idea of how to structure the language, and you only need it notarized to have it be "official".

By the way, you're about 14 months ahead of my wife and I. As long as there's no need for it, you can put off a will indefinitely. However, if you need one, you can't go back and do it.

As far as storage, you can carry a copy of it with you if you're afraid of suddenly lapsing into a coma. That would tell the hospital how you want to be treated. However, simply having your next-of-kin there to tell them that will also do the trick, although he'd probably also have to produce the living will before they'll unplug you. I suggest either a fire-proof safe (about $20 at Wal-Mart) or a safety deposit box.

Life insurance? Well, that's not really my area of expertise (if you've got any high-hazard casualty questions, I'm definitely your guy), but it really depends on what you want to do and what you can afford. There are two options. Term insurance expires after an allotted time and costs less. Whole life never expires and can be used as a savings vehicle but is pretty expensive. If you want my opinion, I'd say buy the term insurance for a few years until you have more disposable income and then buy a whole life policy if you decide to go that route for savings purposes. Buy each of you a policy and name the other one as beneficiary.

Other advice for married couples? Have more sex. Oh, you're newlyweds - that's not a problem. Carry on.
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Old 02-15-2007, 12:05 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Location: Iceland
Had sex yesterday, thanks. Hehe.

I guess I think about life insurance a lot b/c my father was a commercial fisherman and he died at sea when my mother was pregnant with me... the fact that he had taken out the high-hazard stuff affected the rest of my life, literally. But I suppose he did term insurance, for when he was at sea. Neither ktspktsp nor I have high-hazard jobs or anything like that, but I guess I just worry about car accidents, aneurysms, and that kind of thing (what can I say, my early life circumstances conditioned me to thank that way!).

Hmm, fireproof box not feasible since we're going to be in Iceland. That's one reason why I want a DNR type thing... in case something happens there, who knows what they'll do!
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Old 02-15-2007, 03:42 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaniFaye
This may be a dumb question, but is a United States living will good in Iceland?

abaya go to google and type in living will template <insert state you reside in> and use that (but I am still interested to hear from someone on if its good internationally)
That's the right question. There are any number of issues that may differ between nations and how they interpret and respect such documents. Obtain the information from the country you will be living in, rather than the country you are leaving. Or, do one now, but update it as soon as you land in Rekyavik.
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Old 02-15-2007, 04:15 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abaya
Neither ktspktsp nor I have high-hazard jobs or anything like that, but I guess I just worry about car accidents, aneurysms, and that kind of thing (what can I say, my early life circumstances conditioned me to thank that way!).
You can still buy term insurance, but it should be cheaper than what your father paid (in relative dollars). If you're worried about accidents and twists of fate, term insurance for people under 25 should be pretty inexpensive. Put it this way - I do have a term policy to run until I'm 65, and I pay about $700/year for $1M in coverage, and I'm more than 10 years older than you and in a high stress job and fly a lot. It should be much cheaper for the two of you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by abaya
[mm, fireproof box not feasible since we're going to be in Iceland. That's one reason why I want a DNR type thing... in case something happens there, who knows what they'll do!
Why can't you either take a small fireproof box WITH you or leave the original here and take the copy to Iceland? I will warn you that it's entirely possible that they don't allow living wills. It's also entirely possible that they created the idea. I don't know, so I encourage you to research the local laws.
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Last edited by The_Jazz; 02-15-2007 at 04:36 PM..
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Old 02-15-2007, 04:22 PM   #14 (permalink)
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where is Cynthetiq when we need him!!!
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Old 02-15-2007, 06:10 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Location: Iceland
Hm, upon further thought and discussion with ktspktsp, perhaps all that is really necessary at this point is a living will... we both have assets, but perhaps not enough to worry about? (At what point in one's financial status should one start to "worry" about how to divvy it up when you're dead?... a few thousand? a few tens of thousands? I have no idea.) We also both have accounts in other countries, which I imagine are governed by different laws of inheritance. Hmph.

As for life insurance, we are both 27 and in good health, very low risk. We don't have kids yet, which makes us feel like (in addition to not having much assets) we don't really need a last will or life insurance yet... but perhaps we are naive in thinking this way.

But a living will, that can be of use any day that someone drops dead or is hit by a car, etc. It probably won't happen to us, but still... I've seen it happen enough that I want it taken care of before we have to think about it. So maybe we will look into that.

Has anyone used www.legalzoom.com ? Looks like a fairly reputable site...
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Old 02-15-2007, 09:58 PM   #16 (permalink)
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A DNR would probably be a good idea as well. Regardless of the size or value of your assets, it is still wise to indicate how you want it to be dispersed. That way, in case something happens to either one of you, you can avoid the hassles and expense of probate. Without a will, the "estate" automatically goes to the state, to probate which takes a lot of time and costs a lot of money.

So spare yourself the trouble and get the will stuff done.
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Old 02-16-2007, 03:40 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I know that since I don't have many assets (a small savings account, some collectibles, my car) I only go to the trouble of letitng my parents know what my wishes would be. They know that E. gets my computer and my money goes to the Alzheimer's Association.

On that note, one of the biggest things you can do when you write up your living will/advanced directive is to make a card you put with your ID that says where your paperwork is located. You should also make sure that someone close to you knows your wishes, should you be incapacitated. You should also make sure that multiple people know if there is a DNR order. The best thing, regardless of where you go, would be to keep a copy on file somewhere with a close friend or relative who isn't likely to move around, and take a copy with you. List both locations on your emergency contacts card.

Also, if you are an organ donor, that should be explicitly stated somewhere on your advanced directive.

I haven't found anything that suggests that Iceland does not honor living wills. Most EU countries have a fairly progressive stance on death and dying (in the Netherlands, you can write out paperwork to outline under what circumstances you would want euthanasia).
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