beedubaya

Thanks for that insight, BodyHammer. I looked up a bit of statistics on that town (Terre Haute) and it is much like where I live (Fort Smith, AR) as far as size and stuff. Does look like Terre Haute is more of a college town though while Fort Smith is more of a blue-collar/retirement community. I can definitely relate to the fact there is nothing to do but hit up a few local bars, and if you don't like country music, you probably aren't going to fit in there either. Personally I'm a very moderate drinker and don't prefer the bar hopping route as my way to make friends. Don't know if its the same in Terre Haute, but in Fort Smith, its hard to fit in unless you were born and raised here. Unfortunately, I was not (my dad wanted to move us to a small town and chose to do it 2 years before high school graduation). I know that shouldn't be a problem at the college level, but at a school like mine in a town like this, its a big problem.

Is your university a major one in Indiana? Or, is it more of a place that locals from high schools around the area go because they dont want to or can't go far off? In other words, is it a "Grade 13" as community colleges and small commuter universities such as mine are called?

surferlove007

Yea I understand about the leaving the door open..but its really not helpful in the dorms. I met my friends through my old roommate and my classes and orientation. Although my major requires a lot of my time therefore I only have a few really good friends living in the dorms with me and I don't see them as often as I'd like. My really good pals are my fellow sufferers of architecture, we all collaborate to distribute the pain.
Although I have met a couple people at the gym, by couple I mean one...and just randomly you'll meet folks. They say something funny you comment and eventually its back and fourth. Of course I think it's probably easier said than done for a girl. Also...study groups are key too. Big tests and stuff...study groups are fun and help your grades.
Dunno if I'm repeating myself...oh well.

amire

Actually, beedubaya, I'd say that Terre Haute is pretty similar to some small Southern towns I've visited. I'm originally from the South, so I've got a pretty good impression of how small, farming-based communities work. I go to school in Terre Haute, and it is quite similar to these towns. I've noticed that it's a very blue-collar type of place with emphasis on family, farming, and church.

I'm not really qualified to comment on ISU. My impression is that it's a step above community college or "Grade 13" schools, but I don't really know.

Bodyhammer86

ISU is a pretty decent university, since it has one of the top criminology programs in the country (which is why I decided to transfer here) and some other programs it has good marks in which I can't quite remember off the top of my head. It has only 11,000 students so it isn't a Division I school like, let's say, Indiana University or the University of Illinois-Urbana. Since it's a smaller-type university, it doesn't really have as much to do or as many clubs as the universities I mentioned above. However, I heard last week in one of my classes that they're working on getting a professional fraternity geared for crim majors back on track (it's been fairly defunct on campus recently) so I'm looking into doing something like that later on.

Terre Haute has three schools: ISU, Rose-Hulman (private engineering school), and Ivy Tech (community college). Some parts of Terre Haute are pretty decent, but then other areas of town are pretty depressed and shitty looking (like West Terre Haute and the area just north of campus). Overall, it isn't the worst looking town ever, but it doesn't hold a candle to Urbana, Bloomington, or any other major college town.

__________________
Pantera, Shadows Fall, Fear Factory, Opeth, Porcupine Tree, Dimmu Borgir, Watch Them Die, Motorhead, Beyond the Embrace, Himsa, Black Label Society, Machine Head, In Flames, Soilwork, Dark Tranquility, Children of Bodom, Norther, Nightrage, At the Gates, God Forbid, Killswitch Engage, Lamb of God, All That Remains, Anthrax, Mudvayne, Arch Enemy, and Old Man's Child \m/

soundmotor

I took my friends with me to my first year in college. Most of my senior class went to the same college so my freshman year was like senior HS year. Then I moved 3000 miles away and started out from scratch. I hadn't thought about this in years but I didn't make any new friends the entire time I was in college after I moved. Sure, I dated and had plenty of them, but I didn't move into any social circles that were college enabled. But I did make plenty of new friends.

I made them from the various jobs I was working. As I wasn't qualified to do much at that point in my life I was working at the Gap, a hospital in various departments such as messenger, cafeteria, pharmacy tech, etc. Those were the people I ended up socializing with. There were a few close friends that developed out of the various groups but mostly they were casual, social relationships. Groups going to the beach together, parties, movies, and so on. Not many of the group were dating each other so it was really just a big loose confederation of people with a common theme. We had work to bitch and laugh about. It was actually a really great phase for me.

Work situations force you to get to know people. Proximity and the often boring tasks will open people up. If I was in your position I believe I would look for a part-time gig somewhere like a Barnes & Noble or Newbury Comics music store. Anyplace where there are likely people close to my own age.

Don't be despondent, you'll get there. Social skills are something that you develop on your own and then practice. Getting into a new situation such as working with strangers will somewhat force you to do this. More so than school will in my view.

Good Luck!

jbw97361

I had the same problem: I lived at home and commuted to school every day. Basically college became uber high school; all the workload with the fun of living at home and being treated like a 17 year old. It didn't help that the state university where I went, although lauded for academics, was trying desperately to become a football college. ($300 a term per student towards the stadium expansion, whoo hooo)

So, I dropped out, and moved from Oregon to Cleveland. That's right, Cleveland. Life isn't the magical thing that I thought it would be here, but it is one hundred thousand times better than it was before.

Maybe you need to do the same thing, college isn't always the solution. Don't go just because everyone wants you to attend. Figure out what works for you, and not for your parents.

__________________
JBW

match000

^

wtf don't drop out of college, that's not a good way of resolving anything.. you need the education...

beedubaya

Sounds like you are describing Fort Smith. However, ISU sounds like it is much better than where I go to school. Its commonly said that a degree from ITT Tech, which i think has a bad reputation, is better than UAFS. Most people at UAFS take no pride in their school, and attend as a last resort. The only people who go here are those who are too academically challenged to get into a good school, too poor to, or those who initially went off to college but didn't make it or were kicked out. Its truly a sorry place to be.

Academically I believe I may have suffered here as well. For instance, my major is IT-Networking, but I don't feel my classes have prepared me for the workforce in that field. Also, most teachers here are high school teachers part time as well. In the morning they teach at the local high schools and they teach college in the afternoon/evening.

If it wasn't for my scholarship, staying at this school one more semester would not be an option.

Bodyhammer86

If I may ask beedubaya, did you have any other options for college when you got out of high school?

__________________
Pantera, Shadows Fall, Fear Factory, Opeth, Porcupine Tree, Dimmu Borgir, Watch Them Die, Motorhead, Beyond the Embrace, Himsa, Black Label Society, Machine Head, In Flames, Soilwork, Dark Tranquility, Children of Bodom, Norther, Nightrage, At the Gates, God Forbid, Killswitch Engage, Lamb of God, All That Remains, Anthrax, Mudvayne, Arch Enemy, and Old Man's Child \m/

waltert

this thread is getting long, so to save time...
cliff notes:
apply for grants, get loans, whatever.
try to transfer to a better school if you can, it might not be a bad move finacially.

if your grades are good, and you'll only lose a few credit hours by transferring, come to Texas...lol

my brother got a degree from OBU (Ouchita Baptist) in business management and marketing... he had around a 3.0 GPA.

he didnt fit in very well because he was an atheist...it really blackballed him socially in AR. he made friends in the dorms and fraternities, but females were few and far between. he's a REALLY outgoing and social person, so he was able to make the best of it....

so great, then? well, not really...since he went to a no-name school, when he graduated, the only job offer he got was Enterprise rent-a-car...for $9/hr...

Going to a well-known school may actually pay for itself if most of your credits transfer.
and since you're poor, you should be able to get financial aid...I have a friend who is poor, and the government literally paid for his entire education (community college though), and he had about $300 a semester left over in grant money.

Im a junior at UT Arlington, and its a commuter school for the most part, but I live in the dorms and have met some really great people....my roomates have been great friends.

there REALLY is something to do for just about anyone here.

you like cars? join the race team!
you like jesus? go to an on campus church=free friends instantly
want to change religions? pick one, there are tons of on campus religious organizations.
you like anime? join the anime club
...you get the picture...and this is a commuter school.

its not nearly as cool or fun as UT Austin, but I am tied to DFW in more ways than I can count...
I've been to austin, and there are so many young people...everywhere...

talk to a counselor at a better college, see what transfers where, and evaluate the degree requirements.

Im a pretty lame guy by choice...I like going to bed early, drinking about once a month, tinkering with motor vehicles and posting on forums about them ...my friday nights usually consist of going out to eat somewhere...and leveling up, hahaha.

seriously...if you're contemplating suicide...I mean how much more of an incentive do you need? want me to come to AR and drag you away?

Sultana

So what are you going to DO?

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

beedubaya

I got the nerve to discuss this with my parents yesterday. It didn't go over too well. First, they said that transferring was absolutely not an option and that would do everything in their power to make sure I didn't.

They called me a "complete and total fool" and tried to tell me how "wonderful I had it", as if I was supposed to be happy about living in a little 700 sq foot house isolated in a miserable hick town with nothing to do going to a crappy "grade 13" college with absolutely no friends and being treated like a 15 year old in the process.

The conversation went on further, but I'm not real comfortable sharing that part of it. Basically they tried to blame my unhappiness on me not being "religious enough."

Transferring would require I disown my parents and cut ties from them completely. Being as my only friend is now indulged in his own college life, getting support from him would be much more difficult than it once would have been, so basically I would be on my own.

It looks like I'm probably going to have to just wait this out. I'm hoping that I can get a decent job with my degree at UAFS that will allow me to start working towards my masters at a real university in a place I want to live. I could always do the military, but I have a condition that would make that route difficult for me.

UAFS, being part of the University of Arkansas system I would think would give me better chances than Ouachita Baptist, but who knows.

abaya

That, right there, would be enough for me to say that this...... sounds like a viable alternative at this point. Basically your parents are exerting complete power over you, and they have no respect for you as a person. Do you really want to live with that? If you moved out and/or transferred, would they really condemn you to hell, or would they eventually open their eyes and see how well you're doing in a new place?

I am not usually one for telling people to disown their parents, but this situation seems rather extreme. You've got to stand up for yourself, man, or they are going to own you for the rest of your life.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Cynthetiq

cutting apron strings is never simple or easy. it is going to be painful. it isn't going to be pretty especially if they are going to dig in for a fight.

you don't have to cut off all ties, you just have to accept them as they are unwilling at this moment, and they too have to accept you at this moment.
from the Parent Rant thread:

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.