Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community (https://thetfp.com/tfp/)
-   Tilted Life (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-life/)
-   -   My crappy college existence (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-life/111726-my-crappy-college-existence.html)

beedubaya 01-25-2007 09:16 PM

Thanks for that insight, BodyHammer. I looked up a bit of statistics on that town (Terre Haute) and it is much like where I live (Fort Smith, AR) as far as size and stuff. Does look like Terre Haute is more of a college town though while Fort Smith is more of a blue-collar/retirement community. I can definitely relate to the fact there is nothing to do but hit up a few local bars, and if you don't like country music, you probably aren't going to fit in there either. Personally I'm a very moderate drinker and don't prefer the bar hopping route as my way to make friends. Don't know if its the same in Terre Haute, but in Fort Smith, its hard to fit in unless you were born and raised here. Unfortunately, I was not (my dad wanted to move us to a small town and chose to do it 2 years before high school graduation). I know that shouldn't be a problem at the college level, but at a school like mine in a town like this, its a big problem.

Is your university a major one in Indiana? Or, is it more of a place that locals from high schools around the area go because they dont want to or can't go far off? In other words, is it a "Grade 13" as community colleges and small commuter universities such as mine are called?

surferlove007 01-25-2007 09:45 PM

Yea I understand about the leaving the door open..but its really not helpful in the dorms. I met my friends through my old roommate and my classes and orientation. Although my major requires a lot of my time therefore I only have a few really good friends living in the dorms with me and I don't see them as often as I'd like. My really good pals are my fellow sufferers of architecture, we all collaborate to distribute the pain.
Although I have met a couple people at the gym, by couple I mean one...and just randomly you'll meet folks. They say something funny you comment and eventually its back and fourth. Of course I think it's probably easier said than done for a girl. Also...study groups are key too. Big tests and stuff...study groups are fun and help your grades.
Dunno if I'm repeating myself...oh well.

amire 01-26-2007 06:09 AM

Actually, beedubaya, I'd say that Terre Haute is pretty similar to some small Southern towns I've visited. I'm originally from the South, so I've got a pretty good impression of how small, farming-based communities work. I go to school in Terre Haute, and it is quite similar to these towns. I've noticed that it's a very blue-collar type of place with emphasis on family, farming, and church.

I'm not really qualified to comment on ISU. My impression is that it's a step above community college or "Grade 13" schools, but I don't really know.

Bodyhammer86 01-26-2007 07:14 AM

ISU is a pretty decent university, since it has one of the top criminology programs in the country (which is why I decided to transfer here) and some other programs it has good marks in which I can't quite remember off the top of my head. It has only 11,000 students so it isn't a Division I school like, let's say, Indiana University or the University of Illinois-Urbana. Since it's a smaller-type university, it doesn't really have as much to do or as many clubs as the universities I mentioned above. However, I heard last week in one of my classes that they're working on getting a professional fraternity geared for crim majors back on track (it's been fairly defunct on campus recently) so I'm looking into doing something like that later on.

Terre Haute has three schools: ISU, Rose-Hulman (private engineering school), and Ivy Tech (community college). Some parts of Terre Haute are pretty decent, but then other areas of town are pretty depressed and shitty looking (like West Terre Haute and the area just north of campus). Overall, it isn't the worst looking town ever, but it doesn't hold a candle to Urbana, Bloomington, or any other major college town.

soundmotor 01-26-2007 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beedubaya
I have absolutely no friends.

I took my friends with me to my first year in college. Most of my senior class went to the same college so my freshman year was like senior HS year. Then I moved 3000 miles away and started out from scratch. I hadn't thought about this in years but I didn't make any new friends the entire time I was in college after I moved. Sure, I dated and had plenty of them, but I didn't move into any social circles that were college enabled. But I did make plenty of new friends.

I made them from the various jobs I was working. As I wasn't qualified to do much at that point in my life I was working at the Gap, a hospital in various departments such as messenger, cafeteria, pharmacy tech, etc. Those were the people I ended up socializing with. There were a few close friends that developed out of the various groups but mostly they were casual, social relationships. Groups going to the beach together, parties, movies, and so on. Not many of the group were dating each other so it was really just a big loose confederation of people with a common theme. We had work to bitch and laugh about. It was actually a really great phase for me.

Work situations force you to get to know people. Proximity and the often boring tasks will open people up. If I was in your position I believe I would look for a part-time gig somewhere like a Barnes & Noble or Newbury Comics music store. Anyplace where there are likely people close to my own age.

Don't be despondent, you'll get there. Social skills are something that you develop on your own and then practice. Getting into a new situation such as working with strangers will somewhat force you to do this. More so than school will in my view.

Good Luck!

jbw97361 01-28-2007 06:15 PM

I had the same problem: I lived at home and commuted to school every day. Basically college became uber high school; all the workload with the fun of living at home and being treated like a 17 year old. It didn't help that the state university where I went, although lauded for academics, was trying desperately to become a football college. ($300 a term per student towards the stadium expansion, whoo hooo)

So, I dropped out, and moved from Oregon to Cleveland. That's right, Cleveland. Life isn't the magical thing that I thought it would be here, but it is one hundred thousand times better than it was before.

Maybe you need to do the same thing, college isn't always the solution. Don't go just because everyone wants you to attend. Figure out what works for you, and not for your parents.

match000 01-28-2007 08:47 PM

^

wtf don't drop out of college, that's not a good way of resolving anything.. you need the education...

beedubaya 01-29-2007 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amire
Actually, beedubaya, I'd say that Terre Haute is pretty similar to some small Southern towns I've visited. I'm originally from the South, so I've got a pretty good impression of how small, farming-based communities work. I go to school in Terre Haute, and it is quite similar to these towns. I've noticed that it's a very blue-collar type of place with emphasis on family, farming, and church.

Sounds like you are describing Fort Smith. However, ISU sounds like it is much better than where I go to school. Its commonly said that a degree from ITT Tech, which i think has a bad reputation, is better than UAFS. Most people at UAFS take no pride in their school, and attend as a last resort. The only people who go here are those who are too academically challenged to get into a good school, too poor to, or those who initially went off to college but didn't make it or were kicked out. Its truly a sorry place to be.

Academically I believe I may have suffered here as well. For instance, my major is IT-Networking, but I don't feel my classes have prepared me for the workforce in that field. Also, most teachers here are high school teachers part time as well. In the morning they teach at the local high schools and they teach college in the afternoon/evening.

If it wasn't for my scholarship, staying at this school one more semester would not be an option.

Bodyhammer86 01-29-2007 12:25 PM

If I may ask beedubaya, did you have any other options for college when you got out of high school?

waltert 01-29-2007 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beedubaya
Well, the semester has started. Things are going as usual. It is clear that there is no hope for things to improve here. I'm left with 2 options.

#1. Tough it out here - I've dealt with 6.5 years of hell (high school and college). Hopefully I can make it through 1.5 more. However, that will be yet another 1.5 years of my life wasted having been spent totally miserable. After graduation I can go for my masters at a REAL college in a civilized area while working. Logically this option would be the best, but I dont know if I can emotionally take it.

#2. Give up my scholarship and transfer out. I would likely lose credits and most likely end up spending 2 more years in college instead of 1.5. Its hard for me to justify this financially, especially since it is a huge gamble with both my money, my future, and my happiness. However, if it worked out, I would not only have a better degree/education than what I'm getting here (my school is one of the absolute worst), I would be in a different, more diverse environment and may actually make friends. I may not be so lonely and therefore might be happy. I have no idea how I would afford to do this.

this thread is getting long, so to save time...
cliff notes:
apply for grants, get loans, whatever.
try to transfer to a better school if you can, it might not be a bad move finacially.

if your grades are good, and you'll only lose a few credit hours by transferring, come to Texas...lol

my brother got a degree from OBU (Ouchita Baptist) in business management and marketing... he had around a 3.0 GPA.

he didnt fit in very well because he was an atheist...it really blackballed him socially in AR. he made friends in the dorms and fraternities, but females were few and far between. he's a REALLY outgoing and social person, so he was able to make the best of it....

so great, then? well, not really...since he went to a no-name school, when he graduated, the only job offer he got was Enterprise rent-a-car...for $9/hr...

Going to a well-known school may actually pay for itself if most of your credits transfer.
and since you're poor, you should be able to get financial aid...I have a friend who is poor, and the government literally paid for his entire education (community college though), and he had about $300 a semester left over in grant money.

Im a junior at UT Arlington, and its a commuter school for the most part, but I live in the dorms and have met some really great people....my roomates have been great friends.

there REALLY is something to do for just about anyone here.

you like cars? join the race team!
you like jesus? go to an on campus church=free friends instantly
want to change religions? pick one, there are tons of on campus religious organizations.
you like anime? join the anime club
...you get the picture...and this is a commuter school.

its not nearly as cool or fun as UT Austin, but I am tied to DFW in more ways than I can count...
I've been to austin, and there are so many young people...everywhere...

talk to a counselor at a better college, see what transfers where, and evaluate the degree requirements.

Im a pretty lame guy by choice...I like going to bed early, drinking about once a month, tinkering with motor vehicles and posting on forums about them:p ...my friday nights usually consist of going out to eat somewhere...and leveling up, hahaha.

seriously...if you're contemplating suicide...I mean how much more of an incentive do you need? want me to come to AR and drag you away?

Sultana 01-30-2007 06:48 AM

So what are you going to DO?

beedubaya 01-30-2007 11:34 AM

I got the nerve to discuss this with my parents yesterday. It didn't go over too well. First, they said that transferring was absolutely not an option and that would do everything in their power to make sure I didn't.

They called me a "complete and total fool" and tried to tell me how "wonderful I had it", as if I was supposed to be happy about living in a little 700 sq foot house isolated in a miserable hick town with nothing to do going to a crappy "grade 13" college with absolutely no friends and being treated like a 15 year old in the process.

The conversation went on further, but I'm not real comfortable sharing that part of it. Basically they tried to blame my unhappiness on me not being "religious enough."

Transferring would require I disown my parents and cut ties from them completely. Being as my only friend is now indulged in his own college life, getting support from him would be much more difficult than it once would have been, so basically I would be on my own.

It looks like I'm probably going to have to just wait this out. I'm hoping that I can get a decent job with my degree at UAFS that will allow me to start working towards my masters at a real university in a place I want to live. I could always do the military, but I have a condition that would make that route difficult for me.

UAFS, being part of the University of Arkansas system I would think would give me better chances than Ouachita Baptist, but who knows.

abaya 01-30-2007 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beedubaya
Basically they tried to blame my unhappiness on me not being "religious enough."

That, right there, would be enough for me to say that this...
Quote:

Originally Posted by beedubaya
Transferring would require I disown my parents and cut ties from them completely.

... sounds like a viable alternative at this point. Basically your parents are exerting complete power over you, and they have no respect for you as a person. Do you really want to live with that? If you moved out and/or transferred, would they really condemn you to hell, or would they eventually open their eyes and see how well you're doing in a new place?

I am not usually one for telling people to disown their parents, but this situation seems rather extreme. You've got to stand up for yourself, man, or they are going to own you for the rest of your life.

Cynthetiq 01-30-2007 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya
That, right there, would be enough for me to say that this...... sounds like a viable alternative at this point. Basically your parents are exerting complete power over you, and they have no respect for you as a person. Do you really want to live with that? If you moved out and/or transferred, would they really condemn you to hell, or would they eventually open their eyes and see how well you're doing in a new place?

I am not usually one for telling people to disown their parents, but this situation seems rather extreme. You've got to stand up for yourself, man, or they are going to own you for the rest of your life.

cutting apron strings is never simple or easy. it is going to be painful. it isn't going to be pretty especially if they are going to dig in for a fight.

you don't have to cut off all ties, you just have to accept them as they are unwilling at this moment, and they too have to accept you at this moment.
from the Parent Rant thread:
Quote:

Making the transition between "child" and "adult" requires a bit of an adjustment. Even after you've become self-supporting, getting your parents to treat you as an adult may take some effort on all your parts.


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:53 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360