I almost lost my sister
 

I can hardly believe it. It doesn't seem real.

Last Tuesday, my sister was taken by ambulance to the local emergency room, with horrifying stomach pains. She had had the same pains on the previous Saturday. She nearly called 911 then too, but didn't, as she's dead broke and was afraid of incurring medical bills for yet another, "We still don't know what's wrong with you, here's some vicodin." episode.

It was extraordinary luck that I managed to get the call that she had been taken away, within 30 minutes of it happening. Normally on Tuesdays I take a yoga class instead of lunch. But I forgot my workout clothes. I don't usually go to a point in the building where I get cell phone reception, but as I hadn't brought lunch, I had to buy it. I don't usually bring my cell with me, but by chance that day, I did. I was the only one able to be with her.

Turns out she had a tubal pregancy. Turns out that it had ruptured her tube three days prior (she had only 1.5 weeks before discovered she was pregnant. Condom failed). She had internal bleeding, the works.

The staff at the hospital were very positive, and kind--and intense. They did not mention until later that this was quite an extreme case, and that apparantly, death in this circumstance would not have come as a surprise. Pretty much found that out yesterday when she checked out, and the "downstairs staff" was very surprised and happy to see her. To the point of tears.

I'm still in a bit of shock. I think that's what makes me so good in emergency situations, I can detach and function, it takes a long while for things to really hit me.

My sister is a single mother of three young boys, whom my mother, hubby, and I are helping her to raise. I love her so much. We are nothing alike. We used to fight like cats and dogs until she had her first son. Then fighting was just a waste of time, and we became dear friends.

I'm so grateful she's still here.

Wow! I guess there's nothing like a near tragedy to make you appreciate the status quo. I'm glad everything worked out.

I can really relate to what you went through, though on a different time-scale. When I was a freshman in college, my brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and we had to go through 8 months of seizures, doctor's appointments, and the final surgery, which was a biopsy/removal of the tumor if they found out they could remove it.

I'm glad to hear you were able to be there for her. You sound a lot like my dad in emergencies; he doesn't get upset until it's all over. Like when my brother had his surgery, Dad didn't cry until the surgeon came out and said they were done and my brother was going to be fine.

My brother and I still haven't reached the point where we can be friends even 90% of the time, but we're getting there, and I think part of it was seeing him go through all of that.

I hope your sister gets well, and it makes me happy to see that she has such a loving, caring sister to look out for her. :) Hopefully she values you as much as you value her.

My brother and I used to be very close, but over the past couple of years, we've fallen appart - can't really put my finger on why, but he failed to come to my wedding and uses any excuse possible to avoid visiting if he's in the area.

Not sure I'd want a tragedy to bring him here, but I'm sure if things went wrong I'd do what I could for him.

Glad your sister got the right attention.

Goodness!
I'm glad that you were able to be there as her support.

*Hugs* We only get this life to live once ... glad to see you both are cherishing the moments.

It is amazing how things happened so you were there for her. *hugs* for you and your sister. I wish her a speedy recovery.

Glad to hear that your sister is recovering - must've been quite the scare for you. Hope she has a speedy and successful recovery. :)

Glad she's doing fine! May 2007 bring her exceptional health and happiness.
I bet she's very thankful to have a sister like you. Keep up the good work, you've made her proud.
-GK

I think I'm the same way in an emergency...I fall apart when the quiet comes. :)

So glad to read to the bottom and find out she's okay, Sultana. So happy for her, her boys and your family.

That's really nice....:cool: Glad she made it thru. :)

My sister and I were always close. We grew apart after my mother died and she and I both go divorces at the same time and things just got complicated. She moved to England where she had a 5th month miscarriage and I wasn't able to be there for her. The fact that there was an ocean between us never really helped me stop feeling guilty for not being there when she needed me. I'm so glad you were able to be there for your sister.

I'm glad to hear she's alright.

I hope one day my brother will come around and open the lines of communication so we can be friends again. I hope it won't take a near death experience for us to be together again.

These events have made me take the "status quo" that much less for granted. Thanks for sharing, Sultana.

glad your sister is okay... best ot you and your family.

Wow, what a scary thing for both of you! Glad you were there for her. Here's hoping nothing like that never happens again.

That is incredible! I am very glad for the serious of events that led to you being able to be with her, and even more glad that she ended up being ok. *hug* She is very fortunate that she was able to get care in time, and very fortunate to have a sister like you. :)

Thank you guys for your well-wishes and kind comments. It's stuff like this that helps to put things into perspective for a while. Now I couldn't care less about finishing the x-mas shopping, or this, or that. And I care a lot more about maknig time for my friends and loved ones this season.

Who cares if the house is perfectly tidy? LOL, not me.

wow, thats nuts. It would really really be the worst time of year to lose a family member. ;(

glad to hear the hospital staff was competent.

Wow. Sorry AND glad to hear it, at the same time. Really puts it in perspective.

To quote Joan Didion, writing about her husband of many decades dying suddenly in front of her while they were eating dinner at home...

"Life changes fast.
Life changes in the instant.
You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends."

You just never know when it's gonna happen... and whenever I read about these things happening to other people, or remembering how it happened to my father, I remember the bigger picture. People can die at any moment. Be glad for today, for the people you love who are still alive at this moment. Tell them how much you love them. I need to remember this every day.

I'm glad you were there for her, and that's she's okay. I'm the same way in an external crisis... very calm, almost to the point of it being absurd.

Glad to hear your sis will be OK. I think it can be just as traumatizing to almost lose someone as it can to actually lose them. Maybe moreso, in some ways.

She is very, very fortunate. Take that as an extra "good", don't read the extreme nature of her survival as a negative. Recovering from such a close call should be celebrated more so, it shouldn't make you sadder or fearful. Be extra happy that she was saved at the right time, and you were there to be with her.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

I'm glad to hear that despite how bad everything was, she ended up okay. I hope she has a quick recovery.

that is so awful, what a shock it must have been. So glad to hear she's recovering...all the best to you both.

I'm glad to hear she's on the road to recovery. Hopefully everyone, including her and her kids, will have a merry Christmas, etc.

Absolutely!

I asked her if she pulled this stunt to get extra-great x-mas gifts. :p

To be serious though, it does scare me a bit how when she told me about the pains on Saturday, and I just said, "Oh, wow, you OK?" and we went on (she's often having inexplicible stomach pains)...we didn't of course know what was going on, we just continued with our days. Our mom was the one who took her to task over it, making her promise to call 911 if that happened again, etc. I feel likeI should have known better, I should have told her that.

I tend to be a stoic. You have pain, you deal with it. Don't make a fuss, don't call negative attention to yourself (positive attention is fine, lol!). Don't over-react and be a drama queen and call an ambulance...obviously, that's not the best attitude to have all the time. But my mom and sister both tend to be over-dramatic (if you think *I'm* dramatic, watch out for them! LOL), and a bit hyperchondriac-tic (??sp?wtf?) so I don't take them seriously. And if my sister had only my advice/input to rely on last weekend, she'd be dead right now.

So that upsets me.

But I know it's not all about me, I'm not the only one to be keeping people alive here, and now I have another experience to use to evaluate future events with. I'm just so grateful that it turned out as well as it did!

Don't be too hard on yourself. There is a balance to be had between health negligence and being a hypochondriac. After all, it is very, very seldom that our aches and pains turn out to be something very serious. And when it is very serious you have very little trouble discerning it in both yourself and the people you are close to. I have a friend who had an ectopic pregnancy and it progressed very much the same as your sister's. At first her pains could have been any number of fairly innocuous conditions, but when it became apparent that something was really wrong there was no mistaking it and no mistaking that it was time to get to a doctor. It's good to strike a balance between the two extremes and become at once, not overly reliant on doctors to diagnose our every little ache and pain and good listeners to our bodies.

Seriously - there's no way you could have known. And everything is okay now, and that's what matters, and that's wonderful. I thought stuff like that only happened in TV medical dramas... I'm glad your family had the happy ending.

Sending happy thoughts for a quick recovery!

Just make sure you appreciate a situation like this, not everyone gets a second chance. My wife's sister was killed and has been dead for 5 years now. She would have been the ripe old age of 22 now. Its hell on my wife to think of what life would be like if she were able to be at our wedding, or be there for the birth of her neice and nephew.

Long story short, as much as siblings drive you crazy, batshit, piss you off, whatever. Dont lose them, because they could die tommorow and what would you do? Would you be able to forgive yourself?

One last thing, there was a song my wife's sister wanted her to listen to the day she died, it was a song that could possibly have been played at our wedding, but my wife was in a hurry, and never stopped to listen. We still dont know what song that was.

i can too relate to what you went through and are still going through. my "incident" happened years ago though.

my mom was going through a difficult pregnacy with my sister. Caryn was born at 5 and 1/2 months. mum went into premature labour and went to hospital to have a stitch put into her womb.

but caryn slipped right out...literally. mum did not even feel anything. all she saw was caryn on the bed.she thought she had miscarried. the nurses took caryn away in a bed pan. it wasnt till afterwards when they discovered she had started breathing on her own.

she was 720g when she was born and the size of my dads wrist watch. it was a very hard time in our lives because the pregnancy was not planned and they all thought it was just God's way of saying you should appreciate life of all forms and after a while they thought that even if caryn had died it would be for the best because she also had what is called hydrochephalis(not sure of the spelling) which was water on the brain.

she also (when in the womb) had an open spine so doctors thought that even if she was born, she would be a vegetable.

caryn today is 10 years old and top of her class at school. she is the brightest child i have ever known with the biggest heart i have ever known and i thank God everyday for her life.

so, here's to your sister and her recovery.

Mandy: WOWOW! What an amazing story!

We're all still recovering, of course my sister most of all. She actually tried to do some christmas shopping yesterday! She's so crazy. :lol:

Our family was tight already, but I think there's even more gentleness and demonstrative-ness now.

I can vouch for that - that kid's amazing. A question a second too. :)

And Sultana, I'm really sorry to hear that you and your family had to go through that. I hope you guys come out the other end a stronger unit.
'Tis the season. :thumbsup:

Sultana, Im so sorry, I could have sworn I replied here!! Im so glad she's ok and you were able to be there for her

Wow! Talk about good fortune on your part, I guess things work out!
So glad everything is alright for you and her! I know if something happened to my sister I'd be devastated. Lucky you guys live so close to one another, my sister is in GA, about 1000 miles away.

I'm grateful with you that your sister is ok now - wow, what an awful time that must have been for you.

But right now I'm in my conservative phase, so forgive me for stating the obvious - if she's a single mom with three kids, does she not know the reality of birth control? I don't intend to be mean here, but you said that you and your whole family were helping to raise these kids with her, so is she able to be responsible enough to go on birth control so this doesn't happen again?

I'm glad that this enfolded in such a wonderful way for your family. Don't get me wrong. But why is a single mother of three getting pregnant again?