little_tippler

So...what's up with that ? There seems to be a modern problem between men and dancing. Back in olden days it was customary for people to dance, it didn't matter if you knew how, it was an enjoyable social activity.

Be it dancing as a couple or on their own in a disco, a lot of men now refuse to -dance. Because they feel awkward or they can't dance or it's not macho or some just affirm they hate it.

I as a woman, and as most women I'm guessing, have always wanted to be able to dance with the men I like. I don't have one girlfriend who doesn't comment occasionally how their man rarely dances with them and they wish it would happen more.

I can see most of the men rolling their eyes at about this point. Why?

I have had dancing classes a few times in my life and there are always more women than men. See, if any of the men want tips on where to find single women, that's a pretty good start - dancing classes.

I don't think dancing is emasculating at all. I think dancing is such a primordial, feel-good, sexy, body-moving, soul-shaking thing that I can't understand why men are shying more and more away from dancing with women they like.

Why do you think this is happening?

I will offer up some of my own thoughts:

-Some men think it's emasculating, because they see other men who don't give a dance shaking it away on the dance floor without a care. Well men apparently must at all times keep their "composure" (not cry, be a man, yadda yadda).

-Some men actually don't feel the music. Like some women. But I would think that would be a minority of people, no? So they don't actually see the point in dancing.

-It's hard to dance and also look good to some of the crap music that is going around nowadays in discos. (techno, house). There's not much you can do to spice it up a bit if the music is always the same repetition and you end up just banging your head and waving your arms about - at least not without having lessons in beating the drudge.

-They don't play slow songs in most discos anymore so how would any guy learn how to dance as a couple?

-Some men think dance lessons are gay.

-Some women laugh at men who can't dance and point at them when they do (I'm sure this must be the paranoic interpretation of some men )

-Dancing is no longer in its own right just an enjoyable and entertaining activity, as most places you can go dancing in are either meat markets or places where older couples go and dance to slushy old love songs.

-Romance nowadays just ain't what it used to be.

-Some men get nervous to dance from some of the reasons listed above.


For me, I love men who dance. Granted it's always embarrassing when you realize your date will dance but then proceeds to step on your feet and dance like a monkey with no rhythm. I guess I'd draw the line there. But men just aren't trying anymore, they're not interested. But if there are so many women who do want them to dance with them, why is the tendency for them to not dance?

I'd love to know what you think about this.

Edit: Just a note - some of you will say "but discos are full of men dancing" and I say no, they are not dancing. Shaking your hips very slightly with a drink in your hand while checking girls out and trying to make it look like you're not is not dancing IMO. I mean DANCING. Like they're enjoying it and love it and need to move their bodies and aren't checking out the meat at the butcher or doing it grudgingly because their girlfriend has riled them into it. Good, glad we got that one out of the way.

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The_Jazz

I'll dance, but I usually feel awkward, even though I've taken some lessons. If it's a dance I don't know (salsa, rhumba, etc.), I'll usually sit out. I can swing, waltz, tango, etc., but I know that I'm not very good. I just keep reminding myself that I'm just there to make her look good. Story of my life....

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Carno

I like to dance usually. I kinda have to be in the mood though, or really like the music that is being played. I'm sure it's different in Europe, but all they play in most clubs here is shitty rap.

I dislike clubs, so I don't go dancing much though. The whole atmosphere is grody to me, plus I don't like most of the music that gets played. At first I never liked to dance because I thought I looked stupid and couldn't dance, but I got over it and now I don't mind.

Oh yeah I don't know how to dance real dance styles like salsa, tango, etc. I don't know any of the steps so I would go out of my way to avoid dancing those.

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cj2112

I simply don't enjoy dancing at all in it's current style, I don't see it as emasculating, nor am I afraid that I'll look like a moron (I do that well enough w/o dancing), I just really do not enjoy it. I would however like to take some swing lessons, and perhaps some ballroom style lessons (Waltz, Tango, etc.), I think that that would be much more fun. As far as remaining composed....nope, hell I cried when old yeller died, and I still cry at stupid movies I've seen a million times.

Toaster126

I dance because girls like it when you dance with them and aren't too retarded. Most men are like this. I have no idea why.

Also, as an fyi... if you ever see me dancing, take away my car keys. I've had too much to drive.

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vanblah

We should all dance more. The more silly looking the better. I wish I could dance at work ... in fact, I don't know what's stopping me other than the lack of danceable music and I'd probably be asked to go home and take a vacation. So it's really a win-win situation.

When I was a very young teenager and went to dances I was too scared to dance. I thought it wasn't "cool" to dance. I realized pretty quickly that the older guys I considered "cool" were the ones dancing.

newtx

I will dance but usually avoid it because I am totally lacking in skills.

stevie667

I can dance quite well, only problem is that to get to this stage involves alcohol to lower my inhibitions, and the actual sweet spot before i become too drunk and start flailing around is between one shot going down and the next coming up.

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Willravel

I'm a man and I can't dance. Tried it, failed miserably. Tried it again, no one survived. I'm good at a lot of things, and I'm thankful for that. I've come to accept that I can't dance.

StanT

There's a long list of things I'm good at.
There's a long list of thing I find fun.
Dancing doesn't make it on either one.

Sultana

Ahhh, dancing. I am fortunate in that my hubby will often dance with me, it's just that we don't go out to places where that happen (clubs, etc.) very often. Jack has a very...distinctive style of dance that gladdens my heart whenever I see him doing it. We never go tp places where there are specific dances with specific steps and patterns, its' not common out here at all unless you're a swing dancer or a salsa dancer, and looking for that particular place. I'd love to go to either. Hell, I'll go Contra dancing, if someone comes with me!

An addendum to the poll: I love it when a man dances, and I *really* love it when I see a man dance well. But that's kinda a mythical creature...

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Jinn

I second Toaster - if I'm dancing, I better not have car keys. I've had at least 10 drinks.

I patently refuse to dance unless my girlfriend (or someone who knows me very well) guilts me into it long enough.

Reasons:

I suck. I'm SIX FEET SIX INCHES. I HAVE SIZE TEN SHOES. Neither contribute to fantastic balance or coordination.

I think it's a stupid activity, and I don't enjoy it. I get no enjoyment out of walking or singing either. Why should I enjoy throwing my body around to music? It's like asking why more people don't go horseback riding. Some people simply don't enjoy it. It doesn't float their proverbial boat. And I really hate being made to feel guilty for not enjoying it.

Most of the people I see doing it also look absolutely ridiculous. I realize that thats "the point" to some people, but I again -- don't enjoy looking absolutely ridiculous.

My body is built for utility. Lifting, walking, running, pushing, pulling. It's not some rag doll to throw around needlessly.

(Modern) Dancing is fucking ridiculous. I could almost see more traditional styles of dancing, but just barely. And I wouldn't want to take the time to learn them.

< ANGRY FACE >

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MexicanOnABike

me 3. the only times i danced in public was when i was drunk. I told my gf that if she wanted me to dance at the wedding, i'd need to drink lotsa champagne!

i think for me, i dont hve any example to go on. the only ppl i see dance on TV are girls or black ppl. and no offence but as a white dude, i'd be laughed at if i danced like a black dude.

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joemc91

I like it except I suck at it, which means it's time to take lessons. Of course a lot of us don't know where to start on that, jazz, ballroom, salsa, or tango? But hey! I'll try since it's better than not!

The easy to read article: http://www.smh.com.au/news/science/i...032135891.html

The actual study: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/q...indexed=google

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LoganSnake

I can't dance, period. There was no option for that in the poll. I would dance if I knew how to.

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Daniel_

I never used to dance, but I no longer get so self conscious as I age.

I think also that having a wife who makes it clear that she is not embarassed or ashamed at the fact that I cannot dance like someone from a JLo video helps a lot.

I do suffer from "white man's overbite" a little...

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Chamaeleontidae

I choose "I'm a man and I don't mind dancing...but feel awkward" but my option really wasn't available. In reality a better answer for me would be "I'm a man and I don't mind dancing...but I see it as a choice between dancing or having another beer and social interaction with friends at a table" I'm happily married and at this point in life the group social interaction of the "off the dance floor" environment is missing more than the intimate one on one interaction I view dancing as being...

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Grasshopper Green

The best dance I ever went to in school was with a friend who was on the ballroom dance team...he taught me steps to several dances that night and we had a ball.

I love dancing. It's even better when my guy likes dancing too. Hubby feels awkward at clubs, but he dances with me anyway. He actually has suggested taking ballroom or swing classes, and if time permits, we probably will take them sometime.

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Gilda

I'm a woman, and I don't care if a man dances. I also don't understand why guys wouldn't want to dance. It's athletic and artistic at the same time, you get to get dressed up fancy, and you get to hold your lady.

Gilda

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Siege

I don't know how to dance, although I would really love to. But a big part of me sees that a) it'll take a long time, b) i just won't get to use it that often, c) when i do get to use it, my gf or whoever it is i'm dancing with probably won't have the training that i would've had.

The only "dancing" going on at clubs is well... grinding... which is like comparing a scooter to a f1 car.

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n0nsensical

When the music is right (we seem to have different definitions of right) "in the disco" or at a rave, and when I've had a lot of time to warm up and/or get intoxicated, I dance, but its certainly not getting me any female attention, so I must be doing something wrong.

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SteelyLoins

I'm a guy, and I took some dance classes in college. That was okay, but nobody dances like that at clubs. To borrow a phrase, my dancing resembles an octopus falling out of a tree.

Which is why I despise it. The absolute worst situation of all is at something like a wedding, or a charity function, where some pushy broad keeps insisting that you dance with her, when you haven't had nearly enough to drink.

Maybe I could find an artificial fever blister and glue it on for special occasions like that.

genuinegirly

if a guy doesn't dance well, it tends to turn me off.

that said, I still appreciate it when any guy dances, no matter how bad it is. Because the more they do it, the more likely it is that they will become good at it.

I would love to dance with Turbotom. He has never expressed an interest. He doesn't much care for dancing. I dragged him to an excellent modern dance show, and the entire time he sat there thinking, "Now what can I take away from this experience?" He figured out that I swoon over well-built men that move smoothly, seamlessly through complex movements. It improved our sex-life. It was also the first time that he ever held my hand in public - which tells you how long ago this was.

Would the fact that he's not willing to take a dance class stop me from marrying him? No. If he suddenly decided to study ballet, what would I do? SWOOOON!

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Toaster126

Hey now, I'm 6'5", and have size 15 shoes. I have balance and coordination. Maybe it's just you. :P

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Jinn

Size 15? Do you remember how big size ten shoes are?

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Gilda

Bah. Who needs a dance class. Sit out the fast dances and just kinda cling to each other and sway for the slow ones. There's no skill needed, and you don't look like an idiot.

Gilda

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Grasshopper Green

This is the best visual I've had in a long time...thanks for the laugh...and no offense

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match000

been teaching myself c.w.alking, but afraid to do it in a club in case a c or b puts a cap in my ass

Mantus

Go to salsa clubs or rave clubs. Both these are frequented by men who are there to DANCE.

Men nowdays are selfconciouis approval seekers. While you are at the club to have fun and shake your ass they are there to pick you up. They don't want to fuck it up by stepping on your feet. So they don't even bother and come up with all sort of fun reasons not to do it.

Now at clubs I understand...what bothers me most are the crowds at concerts nowdays. People are to self-concious to mosh. It's insane! There is awsome, loud music pounding and people just stand there and listen...maybe bop their heads or something...eeeeeesh.


Now if you excuse me...Kylie Minogue is on ^^

mo42

I rarely dance in public- I lack the ability to dance in rhythm with the music. Dancing is sometimes fun, however- I once entered a dance contest at summer camp and was rewarded with both the "Most Endurance" and "Needs the Most Help" prizes.

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Glory's Sun

I can dance.. and I'm damn good. There are two problems though--

1. I'm jaded with the whole scene around here
2. Clubs only play shitty rap

See I do some breakdancing and some liquid.. and I hate rap. That doesn't lend to me and the wife going out much. Sure we could go to some decent clubs in Charlotte, but that's 3.5 hours away. I'd rather just throw a party at my house and dance there.

I think the problem with guys is that they associate dancing with sex too much. Sure if you have great rhythm on the dance floor it helps in bed but it's not always true. Just go out there and dance. Have fun. You may even get better as you go. Go with some people who can dance but aren't snobs. They can help you out without getting in your face so much. Dancing is about having fun..

The other thing I've noticed is that alot of times men like to move the upper portion of their bodies instead of flowing the whole body together. They totally forget they have feet or legs. Flailing your arms and shaking your hips looks a bit odd. So take a tip, move your whole body at least occassionally

healer

I dance, but my dance doesn't have a name.

I don't know any ballroom or latin dances but I'd really like to learn them once I can make some time for it.

I mostly listen to house music. The only club mandy and I go to plays some of the best deep house in the country and I absolutely LOVE dancing to it. Just losing yourself in the music after a long week at work...it's like therapy.

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Cervantes

Well, I don't like to dance casue all the dancing I see out at the clubs these days makes me think about all the documentaries about monkeys on discovery and National geographic channel. :P

Coupledancing is almost dead here (Sweden), unfortunently I must add, among the younger audience.
Sure there are a few classes in latino and other things that old folks attend but nothing even remotely like ballroom dancing etc.

The unf unf dancing and the hiphopdancing and clubdancing I straight out refuse to do. Everybody is trying to look like some stupid music video, most failing misserably. Others look like strippers, or someone with cerebral paresis (I'm not making fun of Cerebral Paresis). Or to sum it up, it looks plain ridiculous, I have a hard time keeping from laughing out loud when I'm in clubs and watch the people.

I would wish that couple dancing was revived here, I would more than happily go to classes teaching Tango, Latin salsa heck even foxtrot. But alas, the only form of couples dancing that happends here is called (litteral translation) "Dance Bands Dance" that is well.. what old folks do.
The music is even worse than the name, it's the same chords, same worn expressions, same booring monotonous singing song after song.

So as long as couples danicing is dead, so is dance to me.

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guthmund

I love to dance and although I can be incredibly awkward, I don't really feel awkward at all.

I wish I could find someone to learn with (I guess, as long as I'm wishing, I should wish for an actual place of instruction as well), but I don't know that many people and those I do, don't really care to learn; They'd prefer to flop around the dance floor like a seizure victim in an attempt to look hip.

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Pip

JinnKai: One of the best dancers I know (swing and ballroom) is seven feet tall.
Cervantes: You must be hanging with the wrong crowd. Back when I was at KTH there'd be ballroom and swing dancing at every party. Ah, the good old days... I don't mind the "styrdans" either, with the right partner it can be very entertaining.

That being said, I hate dancing with a bad partner. Makes me feel like a drunk hippo. Dancing with a good partner makes me feel like Ginger Rogers.

Carno

I think this is pretty much why a lot of guys won't dance.

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Cervantes

Might be, ah well.. Live a bit further north than KTH so.. hmm.. Come to think of it, the motorheads have rock'n roll parties, usually a really nice bunch. Gonna get me a leather vest and an old american car then it's off dancing hehe..


Carno:
I would agree with that, better to not dance than to dance and make an ass out of oneself.

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laconic1

I guess I wouldn't mind learning how to do "real dancing." I do like the notion of how dancing was done in my grandparents day. There are several problems that contribute to my lack of dancing. One, like many have mentioned is that clubs play shitty rap. That and I'm really not into the whole club scene. I can't stand clubs. Another problem is that I dont move. On the rare occasions I have made an effort to step on a dance floor I freeze up. My hips do not move at all. I feel like such a dork because of my complete lack of rhythm and movement that I'd just as soon not do it. But yeah I'd like to if I could be in the right environment.

match000

i dont understand how u can do one of hte 4 elements of hiphop and hate rap. i mean, rap isnt hip hop per say, but its pretty much the same (did that make any sense) hah, its a subset i mean

i dont know what you guys have against club dancing these days. its pretty nice esp if a cute girl lets u grind with her

Bill O'Rights

I love to dance, and I used to be fairly good at ballroom dancing. Unfortunately, my knees have been giving me some difficulty over the past few years, so the dancing is very limited these days.

Guys...I don't wanna hear how you can't do it because you're ungainly or uncoordinated. Lessons and practice. Lots and lots of practice. The gracefulness will come in due time. Not everyone is a "natural", but everyone can look like a natural.

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