balance... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

cierah · 09-12-2006, 09:11 AM

So, I've been dating the bf for just over a year and it's going great (I am wearing a ring, so it can't be that bad!) My concern is, however, that for the last year I have not been in university and I have just started again. University is my #1 priority and he understands this. I just would like some advice on how to balance university, friends, other life projects and the bf. There is no current problem but I would like to stop/prevent a problem before it becomes huge. Thanks!

hambone · 09-12-2006, 09:18 AM

My wife is currently in Law School so this is a major topic with us as well. The best thing we have found is when things get hectic, just take a step back.

That report you have due is just a report. The presentation just a presentation. They WILL get done. Taking a five minute breaks here and there are really not counterproductive and in fact can help clear your head. Plus, it means a lot to the other half when you are willing to look up from your books enough to ask about their day and actually listen to their response.

School can be the high priority, but intersperse some of the rest of life in there and everyone will come out happier.

Not always easy, but that's the best advice I can give.

robot_parade · 09-12-2006, 05:44 PM

I agree with hambone, but I'd also point out that *sometimes* it's ok to 'overbalance' on one thing *for a temporary and well-defined period of time*. Crunch time for a project at work, the weeks before final exams at school, etc. If you have a strong, open relationship your partner (and friends) will understand that you have to prioritize this other thing over them for awhile.

Of course, if you *always* prioritize other things over the people in your life, you will die miserable and alone. So don't do that. ;-)

high_jinx · 09-13-2006, 09:08 AM

make sure your fella has plenty going on to occupy his time besides his relationship with you. it doesn't matter whether it's some kind of art he does, or if he's building up his career, or if he's into some home improvement stuff.... he just needs to have as much focus on something as you do school.

then its even better when you both finally get a break and get some time together.

cierah · 09-18-2006, 06:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robot_parade

Of course, if you *always* prioritize other things over the people in your life, you will die miserable and alone. So don't do that. ;-)

Excellent advice! lol.
I still need to work on the balance but it's generally going okay. I'm getting everthing that NEEDS to be done done and am even able to work on some of my projects. Thanks all.

Sweetpea · 09-18-2006, 09:25 AM

firstly, I think it's really fantastic that you're being pre-emptive on any issues that might arise

I was married, in college and part of a stressful internship for the first couple years of my studies, it had some tough moments and there is a need for balance.
One thing that really helped me was to write everything down and adhere to a schedule. Make your priority list and then set blocks of time aside for those priorities and try to keep to the schedule. Staying organized time-wise is one way that I was able to enjoy life AND get the things done that i needed to do.

sweetpea

09-12-2006, 09:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
cierah Crazy Location: Canada	balance... So, I've been dating the bf for just over a year and it's going great (I am wearing a ring, so it can't be that bad!) My concern is, however, that for the last year I have not been in university and I have just started again. University is my #1 priority and he understands this. I just would like some advice on how to balance university, friends, other life projects and the bf. There is no current problem but I would like to stop/prevent a problem before it becomes huge. Thanks! __________________ "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J. Lec

09-12-2006, 09:18 AM	#2 (permalink)
hambone Zeroed In Location: CA	My wife is currently in Law School so this is a major topic with us as well. The best thing we have found is when things get hectic, just take a step back. That report you have due is just a report. The presentation just a presentation. They WILL get done. Taking a five minute breaks here and there are really not counterproductive and in fact can help clear your head. Plus, it means a lot to the other half when you are willing to look up from your books enough to ask about their day and actually listen to their response. School can be the high priority, but intersperse some of the rest of life in there and everyone will come out happier. Not always easy, but that's the best advice I can give. __________________ "Like liquid white from fallen glass, Nothing to cry over"

09-13-2006, 09:08 AM	#4 (permalink)
high_jinx Psycho Location: venice beach, ca	make sure your fella has plenty going on to occupy his time besides his relationship with you. it doesn't matter whether it's some kind of art he does, or if he's building up his career, or if he's into some home improvement stuff.... he just needs to have as much focus on something as you do school. then its even better when you both finally get a break and get some time together. __________________ -my phobia drowned while i was gettin down.

09-18-2006, 09:25 AM	#6 (permalink)
Sweetpea Fade out Location: in love	firstly, I think it's really fantastic that you're being pre-emptive on any issues that might arise I was married, in college and part of a stressful internship for the first couple years of my studies, it had some tough moments and there is a need for balance. One thing that really helped me was to write everything down and adhere to a schedule. Make your priority list and then set blocks of time aside for those priorities and try to keep to the schedule. Staying organized time-wise is one way that I was able to enjoy life AND get the things done that i needed to do. sweetpea __________________ Having a Pet Will Change Your Life! Looking for a great pet?! Click Here! "I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

09-12-2006, 05:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
robot_parade Junkie Location: San Antonio, TX	I agree with hambone, but I'd also point out that sometimes it's ok to 'overbalance' on one thing for a temporary and well-defined period of time. Crunch time for a project at work, the weeks before final exams at school, etc. If you have a strong, open relationship your partner (and friends) will understand that you have to prioritize this other thing over them for awhile. Of course, if you always prioritize other things over the people in your life, you will die miserable and alone. So don't do that. ;-)