ShaniFaye

I hope this ends up being as humours as I foresee it being

Mograna, our cat, owns this house and she knows it. When she decides its time to play, no matter if we are in the bed asleep or not, ITS TIME TO PLAY. She has this little octopus that has a bell on it. That thing wakes me up better than the alarm clock does...you can hear her bat that thing around for a few minutes before she's sitting on your chest with it in her mouth tickling your face with it at 2 am.

When we go to bed at nite she races in the bedroom when we are shutting things down and lays her self across an entire queen size bed (its amazing how much cats can stretch when they want to) and lays in such a way that you cant get IN the bed. When you finally cajole her to where you can slip under the covers she either lays her self on top of my pillow (making sure that her front paws are on my head once I lay down) or she lays on Daves side where he is stuck with her on his right and me snuggled up on his left and he cannot turn other in any direction lol Until of course its octopus time

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

sapiens

Without a doubt, my wife and I rule the house. (Though I'm a bit more pushy with Beckett (our dog) than she is). I never step over Beckett. I always make him move. I never feed him from the table. He isn't even allowed in the kitchen during dinner. I also try to feed him AFTER we eat. I make him wait until we're down the stairs before he's allowed to go. I'm also doing my best to make it clear to Beckett that his is lower on the totem pole than our daughter. If he even slightly growls at her, I put him in the kennel. Even if it was her fault. (We give our daughter consequences if she picks on the dog, of course). I think it's risky to ever let a dog think that he's higher in the pack than a human.

I don't want to make it sound like Beckett is picked on. He gets a lot of attention, walks, petting, treats, etc.

I guess my post isn't very humorous. So to add the humor:

When we first got Beckett, he decided when we got up in the morning. We slept on a futon. It was very low to the ground. He would leave us alone in then morning UNLESS we made eye contact with him. If we did, he would pounce, jumping up onto the bed and standing on us until we got out of bed. Now we sleep on a very tall bed. My wife has to vault to get on it. So, Beckett doesn't have much of a chance to wake us anymore.

Eweser

I tell everyone that the house is our dog's and she just lets us live there. It's really bad right after a haircut, like right now. She will literally fight us for the covers....and usually wins. She definitely lets us know when we are making her do something she doesn't think is right. That little growl. If she really doesn't think it's right, we get the full out fight. When we eat, she feels the need to eat our food, but she gets upset if we tease her about getting her food. And like Mograna, when it's time to play, or be petted, it's time dang it! Now! Now! Now!

What's really funny is that she is totally an indoor dog, and she'll hear something, another dog/cat/etc outside and she's a real toughy, but open the door and let her out on the porch; turns into an instant chicken.

What's terrible is I love that little dog....

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"Whoever wrote this episode should die!"

Gilda

Our kitty is one of those who is so submissive that she'll flop on her back around pretty much anyone to show her submission. So yeah, she's not in charge. I think it goes Grace, the housekeeper (she intimidates me), me and Selina on about equal terms near the bottom. Sissy is an independant contractor, part of the household, but not in the chain of command.

Gilda

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Seaver

I never treat dogs extremely harshly, but I have always had extremely disciplined dogs. I've been told by my GF I'm like a military version of the Dog Whisperer, only because I've been taught to do pretty much the exact same methods he uses... only I'll actually hit a dog when he growls and I rub his/her nose in it if they crap in the house (unless we weren't there to let it out or is very sick).

That being said my GF's dogs own the roost. A Shit-zu (yes I know how it's spelled) and a cocker... they just dont care. She leaves litterally 9 training pads around the house because she doesn't let them outside... and they still miss the pads more than 50% of the time. It's not that they dont know, they do, it's that they dont care. They growl at me when I eat because they're demanding food (not asking), and the shi-tzu whipes her nose on us in the morning when she wants us to wake up.

If allowed to I'd have those dogs trained within days... but she is more concerned with the dogs "loving" her rather than not having to pick up crap and rub piss out of the carpet 10 times a day. So I just grin and remember at least I dont live there.

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"Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas

Elphaba

All of our dogs have been well behaved, but also spoiled rotten. Like Shani's kittie, when my Rottie wants to play it's now. He gets this goofy grin on his face and he gets his whole body wagging back and forth. If that doesn't do it, next comes the insistent woofs. If I'm foolish enough to not comply at that point, he tries to push between me and the computer or takes my wrist in his mouth and gives me a tug. He wins every time.

He also is good at getting tummy scratches on demand. He'll walk into my office, get my attention, and fall to the floor and roll onto his back. It's almost like the "help, I've fallen and can't get up"...What a clown.

Grancey

If I get out of bed at 2:00 AM to throw the "brown spider ball" for my Sophia to chase and retrieve from down the hallway (yes, she fetches) then I know the cats rule this house.

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Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.

Charlatan

Well... my cat thinks the house is his but I have opposable thumbs.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

warrrreagl

I keep telling Grancey that our cats don't have a forehead and therefore CAN'T rule the house, but she keeps proving me wrong.

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Living is easy with eyes closed.

level five

i have a bird and two dogs. the bird (a mcaw) has her own room. i know, it sounds silly, but she doesn't like a lot of noise and also tries to chime in on conversations. sometimes it's with words and more often than not it is with loud squacking. she just needs her space.

the dogs, on the other hand, rule the roost because they are so adorable. i just fold...

Carno

To be honest, I find it hard to respect people when they let their animals run the owners' lives.

Any time an animal is unruly, it is a reflection of the owner. Same thing with kids.

EDIT: I realize that there are certain times when the above is not always true, however.

EDIT 2: no offense to anyone, that's just how I feel.

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http://how-to-spell-ridiculous.com/

Elphaba

It's that advantage that keeps you useful to him.

Marvelous Marv

I think I know what you mean, because there are certainly people who do idiotic things like boycott weddings because little Boopsie wasn't allowed in.

That said, I'll venture a guess that you aren't a cat owner. It's been said that cats are just little wives in fur coats.

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"The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money."
Margaret Thatcher

Meditrina

As I sit here typing this, Simba is sprawled out on the floor asleep. I would not say he rules the house, but just wants to be included, in everything. I don't let him in certain places, like my son's room and the laundry room. He is not allowed on the counter or the kitchen table. He gets fed when I want to, and I throw my slipper at him when he tries to wake me up. and yet, he still loves me.

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"Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

raeanna74

The cats rule followed by the other pets. Before Buddy my parakeet flew away it was him that ruled. He picked my puzzles apart and meticulously dragged the pieces to the edge of the table where he dropped them. He flew around all the time - I left the door open on his cage. He followed me everywhere and if you didn't give him attention your ears got nipped.
As for the cats (one in particular) Catrina (3yrs old) Will paw at the sheets in the wintertime till you let her under the blankets, She lays at the top of the stairs and will go down just ahead of you in the morning and head straight for her dish. She gets pissed if we leave her even for a trip to the store sometimes. She will stand guard at the door if she knows I'm leaving and bite my ankles on the way out. If we come home after being gone for more than a day she'll have found something, or several things to chew apart. She greats us at the door with rolling, mewing, pawing, and just about behaves like a dog when we come home. Lately she's been exceptionally aloof and grumbles when we pick her up. This is because of our SECOND cat. Or rather kitten. She is only 7 weeks old. Itty Bitty, has learned to get our attention by laying in middle of the path, standing on my feet when I'm at the counter in the kitchen, and even mewing like she's hurt and groveling. Both cats have learned to climb onto my desk and walk slap in front of my monitor or across my hands. They seem to like to lay on my mouse too. They'll attack me when I'm trying to type or use the mouse, at least until I'll pet them and scratch behind their ears.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

snowy

I don't have pets where I live, but we have family pets that live with my folks. Jack thinks he's not in charge. When Dad goes to leave in the morning he has to sneak out or Jack will cry because the "leader" is gone, but the fact that my dad sneaks out so Jack won't cry tells you who's really in charge.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Toaster126

I think pets are more trainable than kids are, but I agree with ya. I'm in charge. Why? Because I'm the fucking human.

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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

ratbastid

In our house it goes:

Jack (youngest cat)
Nochi (oldest cat)
Floyd (middle cat)
lurkette
ratbastid
Cooper (dog)

I'm actually a little torn about whether lurkette is more in charge than Floyd. That's possible. But I'm definitely second-last just before the dog.

lurkette

I beg to differ! I'm at LEAST 2nd in command!

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

spindles

Someone, ages ago invented an amazing invention for keeping pets in other parts of the house when you are sleeping. They are called "Doors"

I use them - they are very effective.

I do usually have to extract at least one cat out of bed before retiring myself. My wife loves snuggling in with a purring bed warmer or two.

Spoiled? yes. In charge? Not really.

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who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

Elphaba

Golda, the Siamese cat from hell, opened our bedroom door with ease. I finally blocked the door with heavy objects, as if we were defending ourselves from some character in a horror movie.

Any cat that thinks my face is her bed, is so not getting in the bedroom.

StanT

Picabo (my avatar) also has no problem opening doors, just bash the brass thingy enough times and the door magicly opens. My wife and I are the boss when we insist, but the dogs have us all figured out. No one does a poor neglected dog routine better than Picabo.

ratbastid

That's what they want you to think.

ShaniFaye

My cats also always figure out how to open the doors, plus I absolutely cannot sleep in a bedroom with a closed door

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

thingstodo

I think it is said that way because it is a little tongue in cheek. We know they don't actually rule the roost; however, we love and appreciate what they do for us and how they make us feel. Most depend on us for everything.

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If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves.

Stangers have the best candy.

level five

speaking of ruling the house, these are some pretty good pet rules...

Top Ten Commandments for A Responsible Pet Owner

1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. ANY separation from you will be painful to me.

2. Give me time to understand what you want from me.

3. Place your trust in me…it’s crucial to my well being.

4. Don’t be angry with me for long, and don’t lock me up for punishment. You have your work, your friends and your entertainment, I have ONLY YOU!

5. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don’t understand your words, I understand your voice when it is speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I‘ll never forget it.

7. Remember before you hit me that I have teeth that could easily crush the bones of your hand, but I chose NOT to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being uncooperative, obstinate, or lazy, ask yourself if something may be bothering me. Perhaps I’m not getting the right foods, I’ve been out in the sun too long or my heart is getting old and weak.

9. Take care of me when I get old…you, too will grow old.

10. Go with me on difficult journeys. NEVER say, “I can’t bear to watch it.” Or, “Let it happen in my absence.” Everything is easier for me if YOU are there. Above all, remember that I love you!

Lady Sage

My cats and I trade off. Sometimes I am the Mistress of the house and others they remember how the Egyptians worshiped their ancestors as Gods and they feel I should do the same.

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If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open.
It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper
Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.