Isolation
 

I have moved to another city for school and am currently staying in a dorm. I am happy with the education system in the university I attend and the city in general.

But of late, I have begun to feel a strange sense of isolation. The young people here, although, very nice are of a different mindset and have a very lifestyle. To put it in a brief manner, my views and ideas on the simplest of things would be considered too "liberal". Generalization is a crime, but it's like I am stuck between the ultra-conservative and the wannabes. And it's so glaringly obvious because I am new here. At home circumstances were different because I had my family and close friends. Now, I am by myself.

I can't really talk to anyone here and it's slowly killing me inside. And I have become afraid it's going to make me depressed or worse, affect my studies...they very purpose for which I moved. Added to this, is the fact, that most of my friends back in my hometown are really busy with their lives. And if they call up, it's usually to ask advice on their career or to grumble about their love lives. It makes me feel betrayed in a way.

I don't want to get depressed over this but I am not sure how to cope with this too.

Any advise? Anyone had a similar experience?

Lindalove you need to do everything you can to start making some new friends. The payoff will take a while as you get to know them on a deeper level, which is what you'll need for your soul to stay afloat in this lonely time. I've been through a similar ordeal before and by the time I stopped lamenting over lack of friends and actually made an effort to make some new ones, it was too late. I was depresssed.

Use all the tools at your disposal. Are there any group activities you can get involved in? Gaming groups? Fitness? The internet is your friend here as well. Many cities have forums where young people can organize meetings...use them.

I refuse to believe that all the people in your new town will find you too liberal. A healthy optimism in this department would serve you well.

Oh and don't forget the TFP. It was only a quasi-substitute for real human contact during my tough time, but it really did help me get through it. Just be glad that the people around you speak English!

Um.. you're in college, make friends with the conservatives. Most of my friends in college are much more liberal than I, but friendship trumps it all.

Just dont talk politics. Talk games, music, parties, women/men, whatever.

If you're talking about "liberal" as in going out, partying, whatever... you'll find people who do. Or simply work on convincing them to go with you and they'll find they'll actually have fun.

If not, help out with volunteer projects, sororities, political activities... whatever.

First of all, your opinions on social and political matters isn't what you're all about (at least I hope not). You don't have to have everything in common with someone else in order to be friends. In fact, I have serious political differences with folks whom I consider friends. We debate them openly without losing our friendship.

Political debate alone is the exchange of ideas and facts. Don't be afraid to discuss them. Often you'll find that everybody has different experiences, views, reasons and facts to bring to the table. Maybe someone might even change your mind about an issue or two. I found that many friends of mine who considered themselves "liberal" , paradoxically, could often be quite closed-minded to rational discussion. (BTW I consider myself neither conservative nor liberal ... I let positions stand or fall on their individual merit)

Why do we like our friends? We like them because they're funny, intelligent or just plain interesting. If you believe that you have to share political views with folks in order to be friends ... then (I hate to say it) you might be the one who is "cliquish."

Be proud of your politics and just make friends. It's always tough at the start but don't isolate yourself.

I wasn't talking about my political beliefs when I used the words "liberal" and "ultra-conservative"...I meant, the way I think and behave in general.

I have been thinking of getting library memberships and volunteering again. Hopefully, I'll meet some like-minded people while doing what I enjoy.

As some have suggested, getting depressed is surely not the way to solve this problem so I'll try and stay optimistic.

what I meant by "too liberal" was that the fact that people here aren't used to girls who are well-read, who aren't religious, who like to drink and admit it too, or vocalize their opinion about anything (not just politics), aren't cowered by the streetside romeos etcetra. I don't think these are special abilities or attitudes but here, it's different.

Argh! It's complicated but everything usually comes down to my gender.

One man even told me, I know too much for my own benefit. Basically, they think I am some heretic or some spoil rich brat.

Sometimes, I feel that ignoring them is best and at other times, I feel I should retort. Either way, I have difficulty connecting with people here.

Oh well, I just hope the situation will improve or that I might become immune to it.

Wow... sounds like a different environment to go to school in. Good luck with the transition. I've never been good with transition myself. I found this semester that it helps to find people to study with. Then by the end of the semester you realize that you're friends and can arrange to do things with them outside of studies.

Be sure to push yourself out of your bubble every now and again. It may just be a good time to learn how to enjoy your independence. Take yourself out to parks, movies, social environments even if you yourself aren't social. People-watching is sometimes a decent substitute for socializing.

If everyone around you is hating, you are doing something right. :)