Losing someone to war - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Willravel · 08-10-2006, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Me

I've just received word that a very good friend of mine lost his life on Tuesday in Lebanon during a bombing campaign. He lost his legs and part of his torso when a bomb hit while he and his family were hiding in a building, and died while en route to a hospital. He was on vacation with his family from Turkey about a month ago, but was apparently pinned down for a few weeks after the initial attacks. His parents and sister survived. His mother called me just before I went to work this morning and told me all she could. He was only my age (about 24).

I have to admit that until today, this whole thing in Lebanon has seemed like a history lesson to me. It was like reading about WWII or the Korean War in a text book. It's easy to stay disconnected, somewhat, from something if you are thousands of miles away and don't have any personal connections to it. I don't really have that feeling any more. I didn't lose anyone on 9/11. I did have a friend have his leg shot off in Iraq, but I've spoken with him since so it never really hit me.

To anyone who's lost someone in war or conflict, I'm very sorry. I know how it feels now. I don't know if this has anything to do with Politics, but this seemed like the right place to put it.

I posted this a minute ago in Politics about a good friend of mine I've lost. It's a completly new sensation for me to have someone die because of war, and it's really effected me more than I thought it could. I feel like I myself have been wounded - not to be selfish, but this is new to me.

I realize this is a bit of a downer, but have you ever lost anyone to war or conflict? If you'd like to say some words about your someone, maybe this can be like a way to pay respects and share fond memories about those who made life better before they left.

I'll start:
My friend was the only skater I ever really got along with. I met him at piano camp (of all places) when I was younger, and we hated each other. It was rather odd having an ememy at the age of 9, but we were the best of enemies. We competed and such for the week we were at the camp, and eventually became great friends. We kept in touch over the years, and when he last visited the US, about 3 years back, I basically played the role of tour guide. We, me, him and a few of my friends, went on a road trip from San Jose to Miami. It was one of the best thing's I've ever done. I'll always remember when he tried to get the phone number of a stripper somewhere in Texas. She gave him a 555 number. It was hilareous.

amonkie · 08-10-2006, 06:40 PM

A friend was buried in Arlington last month due to a car bomb exploding and killing his jeep while he was serving in Iraq.

He was 20 ... same age as my younger brother. That is what hit me the most ... that someone else lost a family member, and I couldn't dream of how I would feel if it was my own brother I'd buried.

Willravel · 08-10-2006, 06:54 PM

Thanks for posting, amonkie. It's hard to lose someone, but it can make you appreciate people who are still here, I guess.

Elphaba · 08-10-2006, 07:04 PM

Will, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend and the grief you are feeling.

Quote:

I posted this a minute ago in Politics about a good friend of mine I've lost. It's a completly new sensation for me to have someone die because of war, and it's really effected me more than I thought it could. I feel like I myself have been wounded - not to be selfish, but this is new to me.

I realize this is a bit of a downer, but have you ever lost anyone to war or conflict? If you'd like to say some words about your someone, maybe this can be like a way to pay respects and share fond memories about those who made life better before they left.

To answer your question...yes. Given my age (56), there would be little chance that I didn't. There have been many losses, some of which occurred when back in country. I think those are the most painful. I'm not sure that I can participate in this thread without creating great emotional anguish to myself. I'm going to hold back for now.

Willravel · 08-10-2006, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elphaba

Will, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend and the grief you are feeling.

I appreciate it. He lived 80 years worth in 24 years.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elphaba

To answer your question...yes. Given my age (56), there would be little chance that I didn't. There have been many losses, some of which occurred when back in country. I think those are the most painful. I'm not sure that I can participate in this thread without creating great emotional anguish to myself. I'm going to hold back for now.

That's fine. For me, this is about getting out the stuff that's spinning around in my head. It's new hurt for me. Old hurt is a lot different.

Elphaba · 08-10-2006, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

I appreciate it. He lived 80 years worth in 24 years.

That's fine. For me, this is about getting out the stuff that's spinning around in my head. It's new hurt for me. Old hurt is a lot different.

Getting out the new hurt might be the best choice. The old hurt festers and leaves an illness of the heart.

Brewmaniac · 08-10-2006, 07:49 PM

Will & amonkie,my deepest condolencences to both of you! War fucking sucks, I've never lost anyone close but knowing for every death there is a parent, sibling, child or close friend grieving. Makes me sad! If there's any way to avoid it, I think all measures should be taken to avoid it!

kurty[B] · 08-11-2006, 09:09 AM

While I was working in Iraq, I would often visit the infantry units to fix their PCs. There was one unit where I would always talk to a specific Sgt, we got along really well, and one day I went over there and asked to speak to him, and everyone in the room was simply quiet. It took a few seconds to dawn on me. I don't know how to describe how I felt, it was definitely a new kind of emptiness. I had realized this before, but it simply reinforced my need to make the most of every day we have.

Bill O'Rights · 08-11-2006, 09:49 AM

I lost an uncle in the Ginh Long Province, Vietnam. He was so much fun. He was my favorite of my mother's 3 brother's because he wasn't too cool to play with (at that time) his only nephew. I was only seven years old, but I still remember when my grandmother called my mother two days after Christmas, 1969. Mom dropped the phone, and started crying her eyes out. Dad picked up the phone and was talking for a few minutes, while I tried to comfort my mother, although I didn't yet know why. Two days later, we were on our way to Orlando, for the funeral. The previous Christmas (1968) was the last time that my mother's family was all together. My uncle had given me a G.I Joe doll, and a Strombecker slot car racing set, that he had gotten in Germany, for Christmas that year. I still have them.
He was on his third tour, and I remember my mother asking him why he was over there. He turned and stared at her for a moment and said; "If you were to go there, and see those people, you wouldn't have to ask that question". He believed strongly in what he was doing, and died doing so.

balefire88 · 08-11-2006, 09:58 AM

I've never lost anyone, but I am so sorry that anyone has to go through this pain. Here's to the ones who will always live in our memories, and were taken all too soon.

Seaver · 08-11-2006, 07:56 PM

I lost a good friend from High School in Iraq, he signed up with his best friend.

From his friend I found out what happened. They were doing a patrol when He saw a 4ish year old kid standing in the street. A man ran up with an RPG and used him as a human shield. Not wanting to shoot the kid he shot.. but took extra time to aim. He killed the insurgent but died as the RPG exploded directly infront of him.

The kid lived but my friend died for him.

Elphaba · 08-11-2006, 08:23 PM

I think I know how you feel, Seaver. I lost several friends and brothers of friends while in High School.

How did that poor child live in the same blast that killed your friend? I am so sorry for your loss of a friend.

Seaver · 08-11-2006, 09:51 PM

The man who shot the RPG was hiding behind the kid facing the squad. He put the RPG over the kid's shoulder, which badly burned the kid's face/shoulder.

Cynthetiq · 08-12-2006, 02:30 AM

My family lost most of it's influence and money during WWII and the Japanese occupation of the Philippines.

I never met my 10th Uncle, the eldest was beheaded by the Japanese after being caught helping the resistance and the Americans. It devastated my great grandfather and rippled down to family members to this very day.

While the loss wasn't in my lifetime, I can still see the impact is has on each family member today just by looking at their faces, the family urban legend is that most of his 9 brothers wear goatees as a memorial to him.

The most interesting thing about this is that the family does not talk about him. Only recently when the youngest wrote a book about his vague memories of him and finding his body, did the family start to heal and talk about it.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Psycho Dad · 08-12-2006, 06:50 AM

My wife's brother-in-law was killed in Iraq and his funeral was the day before my own son went over for his first tour. I remember looking at him as a young soldier getting ready to marry my crazy sister-in-law before we invaded Iraq thinking that would be an easier row to hoe than living with her. Sadly he was unable to get a divorce from her before he was killed and the pain that his poor family had to go through was magnified by my sister-in-law refusing to distance herself from the funeral service for this fine young man.

08-10-2006, 06:40 PM	#2 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	A friend was buried in Arlington last month due to a car bomb exploding and killing his jeep while he was serving in Iraq. He was 20 ... same age as my younger brother. That is what hit me the most ... that someone else lost a family member, and I couldn't dream of how I would feel if it was my own brother I'd buried. __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

08-10-2006, 07:49 PM	#7 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Will & amonkie,my deepest condolencences to both of you! War fucking sucks, I've never lost anyone close but knowing for every death there is a parent, sibling, child or close friend grieving. Makes me sad! If there's any way to avoid it, I think all measures should be taken to avoid it! __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son" Last edited by Brewmaniac; 08-10-2006 at 07:54 PM..

08-11-2006, 09:49 AM	#9 (permalink)
Bill O'Rights will always be an Alyson Hanniganite Location: In the dust of the archives	I lost an uncle in the Ginh Long Province, Vietnam. He was so much fun. He was my favorite of my mother's 3 brother's because he wasn't too cool to play with (at that time) his only nephew. I was only seven years old, but I still remember when my grandmother called my mother two days after Christmas, 1969. Mom dropped the phone, and started crying her eyes out. Dad picked up the phone and was talking for a few minutes, while I tried to comfort my mother, although I didn't yet know why. Two days later, we were on our way to Orlando, for the funeral. The previous Christmas (1968) was the last time that my mother's family was all together. My uncle had given me a G.I Joe doll, and a Strombecker slot car racing set, that he had gotten in Germany, for Christmas that year. I still have them. He was on his third tour, and I remember my mother asking him why he was over there. He turned and stared at her for a moment and said; "If you were to go there, and see those people, you wouldn't have to ask that question". He believed strongly in what he was doing, and died doing so. __________________ "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt. Last edited by Bill O'Rights; 08-11-2006 at 09:53 AM..

08-11-2006, 09:58 AM	#10 (permalink)
balefire88 Tilted	I've never lost anyone, but I am so sorry that anyone has to go through this pain. Here's to the ones who will always live in our memories, and were taken all too soon. __________________ "Today is the beginning of the rest of your life."

08-12-2006, 02:30 AM	#14 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	My family lost most of it's influence and money during WWII and the Japanese occupation of the Philippines. I never met my 10th Uncle, the eldest was beheaded by the Japanese after being caught helping the resistance and the Americans. It devastated my great grandfather and rippled down to family members to this very day. While the loss wasn't in my lifetime, I can still see the impact is has on each family member today just by looking at their faces, the family urban legend is that most of his 9 brothers wear goatees as a memorial to him. The most interesting thing about this is that the family does not talk about him. Only recently when the youngest wrote a book about his vague memories of him and finding his body, did the family start to heal and talk about it. I'm sorry for your loss. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

08-10-2006, 06:54 PM	#3 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	Thanks for posting, amonkie. It's hard to lose someone, but it can make you appreciate people who are still here, I guess.

08-11-2006, 09:09 AM	#8 (permalink)
kurty[B] Sauce Puppet	While I was working in Iraq, I would often visit the infantry units to fix their PCs. There was one unit where I would always talk to a specific Sgt, we got along really well, and one day I went over there and asked to speak to him, and everyone in the room was simply quiet. It took a few seconds to dawn on me. I don't know how to describe how I felt, it was definitely a new kind of emptiness. I had realized this before, but it simply reinforced my need to make the most of every day we have.

08-11-2006, 07:56 PM	#11 (permalink)
Seaver Junkie Location: Fort Worth, TX	I lost a good friend from High School in Iraq, he signed up with his best friend. From his friend I found out what happened. They were doing a patrol when He saw a 4ish year old kid standing in the street. A man ran up with an RPG and used him as a human shield. Not wanting to shoot the kid he shot.. but took extra time to aim. He killed the insurgent but died as the RPG exploded directly infront of him. The kid lived but my friend died for him.

08-11-2006, 08:23 PM	#12 (permalink)
Elphaba Deja Moo Location: Olympic Peninsula, WA	I think I know how you feel, Seaver. I lost several friends and brothers of friends while in High School. How did that poor child live in the same blast that killed your friend? I am so sorry for your loss of a friend.

08-11-2006, 09:51 PM	#13 (permalink)
Seaver Junkie Location: Fort Worth, TX	The man who shot the RPG was hiding behind the kid facing the squad. He put the RPG over the kid's shoulder, which badly burned the kid's face/shoulder.

08-12-2006, 06:50 AM	#15 (permalink)
Psycho Dad Mulletproof Location: Some nucking fut house.	My wife's brother-in-law was killed in Iraq and his funeral was the day before my own son went over for his first tour. I remember looking at him as a young soldier getting ready to marry my crazy sister-in-law before we invaded Iraq thinking that would be an easier row to hoe than living with her. Sadly he was unable to get a divorce from her before he was killed and the pain that his poor family had to go through was magnified by my sister-in-law refusing to distance herself from the funeral service for this fine young man. __________________ Don't always trust the opinions of experts.