Feeling disconnected after quitting job. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Prince · 07-25-2006, 08:36 PM

The wife and I are moving to a bigger city, as I want to enroll in college next year, and we needed to get a new place to live anyway, as this apartment's got some major problems...

I've been living in the States for 3 years now, and 2 of those have been working at the same place, the same shift. And tonight was my last shift.

As the new administration took over, things went down the crapper in many ways, and I've been waiting eagerly to leave that job. But now that I have, I don't know what's bugging me.

Maybe because I have no friends, literally, and my co-workers, which were a great bunch, were my social outlet.

I guess I thought I'd be overjoyed with the idea of not having to work there anymore, and having some time off to pack and whatnot. To unwind from all that shit.

But interestingly, I feel more under the weather than overjoyed.

Wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience. Probably it's a little like how people who retire must feel, although I am sure it's worse for them.

Willravel · 07-25-2006, 08:42 PM

After I graduated from HS, I had a similar problem. No one from my school went to the same college as me, and 98% of them moved to go to different colleges around the country. I made new friends. The I graduated from college, and I made friends at my job. It's normal (as far as I know). You've got consistency here on TFP, of course. I'd like to think TFP could help to carry you over from old friends to new ones. Also, no one said that ou have to cut it off with your now former co-workers.

Pip · 07-29-2006, 05:34 AM

When I quit the amateur theatre company after seven years I felt disconnected as well. Even though the last year was a bloody nightmare for me I still miss the whole thing. I still hang out with them sometimes and go see the shows, but it's not the same. There's something about being a part of a team that's a boost for the soul. Humans are social creatures, I think we actually need to be working side by side with others to feel okay.

Rodney · 07-29-2006, 06:44 AM

It's pretty natural -- especially if your workplace is also your main place of social interaction. Also work imposes a structure on you for life, and now you don't have one. You don't have a set list of duties, and you don't have a lot of people around to do them with you, consult with you, etc. As somebody said, humans are social creatures, and now you're on your own.

It's happened to me between jobs, especially when living on my own. People say, "Now you've got the time to do this and that," and yet I didn't do much of anything at first.

Fear not. It'll get better. Don't kick yourself for wasting time -- it's normal to wander around moodily a bit when a big piece of your life goes away, even if it's work -- but do make a list of things you need to get done, and schedule a couple each day; don't be overambitious.

Finally, make sure to get out and get some kind of social interaction, even if it's just chatting up clerks in the stores. Do one thing you enjoy every day. Try a little more socializing: maybe you and the wife could go visit friends. If you find yourself on the Internet too many times a day, just get out of the house and get some stimulus, even if it's just walking down the street.

It'll all get better when you start college, meet new people and get some structure.

skinnymofo · 07-29-2006, 02:01 PM

its definately a little strange.
being in construction i move from place to place in relatively small amounts of time. the places are always open while we do the remodeling so we start to get to know all the employees and by the time you start to get to almost buddy, its time to move on again.

level five · 07-30-2006, 08:45 AM

i believe change has a way of messing with you. any kind of change.

one of the key things people do is focus on what they have to give up during change. that's kind of like worrying about a problem instead of focusing on the solution. giving up something give you the chance to open new doors. that said, there's a certain amount of grieving that goes on when anything is over - even bad stuff.

time will help and changing your focus will also help.

07-25-2006, 08:36 PM	#1 (permalink)
Prince /nɑndəsˈkrɪpt/ Location: LV-426	Feeling disconnected after quitting job. The wife and I are moving to a bigger city, as I want to enroll in college next year, and we needed to get a new place to live anyway, as this apartment's got some major problems... I've been living in the States for 3 years now, and 2 of those have been working at the same place, the same shift. And tonight was my last shift. As the new administration took over, things went down the crapper in many ways, and I've been waiting eagerly to leave that job. But now that I have, I don't know what's bugging me. Maybe because I have no friends, literally, and my co-workers, which were a great bunch, were my social outlet. I guess I thought I'd be overjoyed with the idea of not having to work there anymore, and having some time off to pack and whatnot. To unwind from all that shit. But interestingly, I feel more under the weather than overjoyed. Wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience. Probably it's a little like how people who retire must feel, although I am sure it's worse for them. __________________ Who is John Galt?

07-25-2006, 08:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	After I graduated from HS, I had a similar problem. No one from my school went to the same college as me, and 98% of them moved to go to different colleges around the country. I made new friends. The I graduated from college, and I made friends at my job. It's normal (as far as I know). You've got consistency here on TFP, of course. I'd like to think TFP could help to carry you over from old friends to new ones. Also, no one said that ou have to cut it off with your now former co-workers.

07-29-2006, 05:34 AM	#3 (permalink)
Pip Likes Hats Location: Stockholm, Sweden	When I quit the amateur theatre company after seven years I felt disconnected as well. Even though the last year was a bloody nightmare for me I still miss the whole thing. I still hang out with them sometimes and go see the shows, but it's not the same. There's something about being a part of a team that's a boost for the soul. Humans are social creatures, I think we actually need to be working side by side with others to feel okay.

07-29-2006, 06:44 AM	#4 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	It's pretty natural -- especially if your workplace is also your main place of social interaction. Also work imposes a structure on you for life, and now you don't have one. You don't have a set list of duties, and you don't have a lot of people around to do them with you, consult with you, etc. As somebody said, humans are social creatures, and now you're on your own. It's happened to me between jobs, especially when living on my own. People say, "Now you've got the time to do this and that," and yet I didn't do much of anything at first. Fear not. It'll get better. Don't kick yourself for wasting time -- it's normal to wander around moodily a bit when a big piece of your life goes away, even if it's work -- but do make a list of things you need to get done, and schedule a couple each day; don't be overambitious. Finally, make sure to get out and get some kind of social interaction, even if it's just chatting up clerks in the stores. Do one thing you enjoy every day. Try a little more socializing: maybe you and the wife could go visit friends. If you find yourself on the Internet too many times a day, just get out of the house and get some stimulus, even if it's just walking down the street. It'll all get better when you start college, meet new people and get some structure.

07-29-2006, 02:01 PM	#5 (permalink)
skinnymofo Addict ed to smack Location: Seattle	its definately a little strange. being in construction i move from place to place in relatively small amounts of time. the places are always open while we do the remodeling so we start to get to know all the employees and by the time you start to get to almost buddy, its time to move on again.

07-30-2006, 08:45 AM	#6 (permalink)
level five Banned	i believe change has a way of messing with you. any kind of change. one of the key things people do is focus on what they have to give up during change. that's kind of like worrying about a problem instead of focusing on the solution. giving up something give you the chance to open new doors. that said, there's a certain amount of grieving that goes on when anything is over - even bad stuff. time will help and changing your focus will also help.