I am not a woman.
 

It's true, I'm not.

"Why are you telling me this?" You might ask yourself.
Well, lately I have been 'accused' of being a woman. What happened, did I grow a vagina? Did my man boobs become too unruly and unmanageable? No. I am a woman, because:

1. I don't like sports.

It's true, I don't like most of them. I can hardly stand to watch football, hockey, baseball, soccer, basketball... To me, they are just boring. Large men competing for something that I just don't care about is boring.

2. I was watching the style channel.

Again, I should really just turn in my penis for this sin. I can't talk my way out of this, yeah, every so often, watching Extreme Makeover or What Not to Wear isn't so bad. It's entertaining to see some frumpy 35 year old mom get made over and then see everyone's reaction to it.

3. I am passive aggressive.

Well, not really, most of the time I am just passive. Tons of stuff make me mad, and 95/100 times I am over it within .2 seconds. Over many years of disappointments and let-downs, I have learned not to internalize. Which comes off as passive aggressive. This does not mean my feelings don't get hurt, trust me they do, but most of the time I don't have a care in the world.

4. I am sensitive.

Not emo, grow-my-hair-down-past-one-eye-cut-myself-because-a-flower-died sensitive, but more along the lines of romantically sensitive. I like to cuddle, I like to be romantic, I like to send flowers, and other crap like that. :-P But also the reverse, my feelings do sometimes get hurt easily, and I try to make sense of every little thing that happens by overanalyzing everything to the point where it loses any meaning it had in the first place.

I am sure there are many more, that I am just overlooking.

Ladies, don't take this as an insult, I am happy to be joining your club. We can go shopping, try on pants and talk about how fat our asses are getting. We can sit around and watch !E or the Gilmore Girls or whatever the devil it is you ladies are watching these days. Then we can eat ice cream and cry about god knows what and talk about whomever isn't there.

Maybe it's better this way, now I won't have to do anymore of that disgusting crap that I have to do while around my guy friends, like burping, farting, and making a general ass of myself. Now I can give stern looks whilst shaking my head at them, and commenting at their 'childish behavior'.

Yes, happy days have come at last. I have become a woman.

I hope you don't mind another lesbian...

Ok guys, time to fess up, how are you a woman? Every guy has something, womanish they hide... Some more than others. Express your inner vagina!

Tell your story! :thumbsup:

Do you remember the thread How androgynous are you? In that test, a 0 is perfectly androgynous, positive is masculine, and negative is feminine. For quite a while, the "lowest" score was a -45. I was tied with alicat, who is female.

So don't worry Crack, I'll hold your purse if you need to step out for a moment.

I love people whose personalities challenge gender assumptions. They seem more "real" to me somehow - like their personalities aren't just the results of passive absorption of society's expectations about gender roles. But I guess some people get bothered by it because they don't know how to pigeonhole you now. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. *scratches crotch*

I do love football and watch boxing when ever it is on HBO. I used to watch the style network, back when they would have runway models strutting in their undies :thumbsup:, but haven’t seen it for years.

I am a #3 and #4, and I do like to go shopping. I will add in there that I am a sucker for some chick flicks. For instance "The Notebook" love it. When it deals with a man and woman in and out of love, I'm a total sucker; however, when its a woman scorn or just a plain nag, like "Terms of Endearment" or "Mirror has Two Faces" its a total turn off.

By the way Crack I look fabulous in pantyhose if you are interested, Just kidden ;)

well you'll feel comfortable having dinner with us as when quadro, justjess, skogafoss and I go out for dinner the waitress brings, 2 salads, 2 chili dogs and a steak. She tried to put the salads in front of the ladies... and no they were for quadro and me.

red, you can't hold my purse, I may need something from it.

ok, I just took that test, and I got a -24... Redlemon... hold my purse while I cry.

...pansy...


Now if you were truly a woman.. you'd appreciate the following
Soccer: Grown men with tanned, incredibly muscular legs running around in shorts... :)

Football - Great behinds in tight pants

Basketball - Great arms in tank tops

Rugby - Manly men who aren't afraid of other manly men and they wear shorts and sleeveless t's and damna re they F-I-N-E FINE!!!!

/weep

maleficent is more of a man than I have ever been...hehe

how freakin' sad is that... for me...

for me too!

Too bad more men aren't pansies.
Although I'd have some trouble seeing them with purses-even I hate carrying one so I carry a very small one when necessary.
Don't worry about that hating sports thing, Crack...I'll watch football and NASCAR for ya:thumbsup:

For some reason, I am more comfortable talking to women, one-on-one and in groups, than men.

I'm into sports, but not into cars, guns, beer/drinking, lifting weights, or home maintenance. I'm better at talking about kids & family, food & diets, and gossip.

My wife thinks I would make a decent homosexual (based on stereotypes).

I hate carrying a purse, too, but I managed to find a good compromise with this (but without the bling):

http://shop.littlearth.com/core/medi...5b7de8996edc94

It's a purse! It's a weapon! When the handle breaks, I take it to a body shop so they can pop-rivet it back on :)

It's definitely a conversation-starter.

Also, I took the androgyny test again and this time scored "nearly masculine." When I took it before I scored "nearly feminine." Perhaps it depends on my mood when I take it. Hm.

I don't know anything about cars or guns, and I don't know how to fix anything around the house. I enjoy cooking, and I've even been known to enjoy the occasional chick flick. Every once in a while I cry like a little baby.

I read an article once that said men with traits stereotyped as "feminine" make better husbands, so maybe this a good thing after all.

Men with those traits DO make better husbands! Right, Quadro? :D

Well, I'm now +14, making me "nearly masculine". Don't worry, Crack, lots of us don't fit into those boxes. I'm the one that knows how to fix stuff, and I like science things, and his dad always tells me about the car stuff rather than Q... yeah, it's okay. Fuck stereotypes! :*

Seriously, you don't sound like a woman to me.

Obviously you're gay, not a woman!

Just teasing big guy.:lol: :thumbsup:

Can I be a gay woman?

I know how to fix most things on my car, chage a tire, and keep up with the scores in a football match (soccer for y'all people who don't know any better). I like porn, boobies, and getting laid. I suscribe to Esquire, Playboy, FHM, and Maxim. I have a fully stocked bar in my house, only the finer liquors, and think Cosmos are about as useful as nipples on the Bat-suit. Being in the company of too many women makes me want to slap someone, but I always enjoy hanging out with the guys. I love video games, TV, and steak, and think chocolate is overrated. I majored in Web Design.

I'm also a 38-34-40, and wear underwear from Victoria's Secret, have a closet full of high heels, and get a pap smear every year. I'm very proud to be who I am and refuse to apologize for it. I don't look like Victoria Beckam and am quite happy with that :)

Crack you are cute enough for me to date, only I don't date dudes, even dudes confused to their sexuality who grew a vagina. :lol:

I think people challanging gender assumptions are no different than those who don't in terms of society's expectations. We have been trying to teach men to be less manly and women to be less girly for quite a while now in schools and on most TV shows. What you are seeing is the product of this, though I think its been far more successful at making men act like pussies than making women act more agressive.

I personally am quite happy being 'all man', its worked well for me. (42 on that test, but of course I didn't need a test to tell me that :) )

Oh, Ustwo. You're so delightfully retrograde. :)

But that may be my 1 (ONE? WTF, you can't be much more androgynous than that) on the test talking.

Yeah, until you bust out with the 'Oooh! Strawberry guava kiwi conditioner!" business.

Seriously, here I am hanging with the least "girly" girl I've ever known, until we walk down the hair care aisle of the pharmacy... ;)

My toenails are painted and my hair is often in pigtails.

I think of myself as closer to the male archetype than retrograde :thumbsup:

Now if you would excuse me, I need to go eat a kitten decisively and without remorse.

AWWWWWW KITTTTENS!!!!! Save the kittens!!!!

quite the feminine thing for you to say mal! :lol:

but i don't know nuttin about that hair crap - pony tails were invented for people like me... :)

Wait, wait, wait... we can request that?

If I had only known, lol.

So I took that quiz and got a -6, which makes me androgynous. /me spits and cusses the quiz as being too fucking convoluted....

Crack...trust me, I'll make up for you. According to the test, I'm a man.

I don't mind. I'm a damn sexy man!

:D

Made a retry at -16... I'm 5 points more feminine now.

Can we compromise on this?:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...enger/fc_1.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...ger/a4_1_b.jpg
It's like a holster... for the shit that would otherwise fill your pockets.

I hope so... I've already got one.

Why the hell does a man purse need so many straps to hold on? Its like some leather/bdsm thing with a bag attached.

Its like a holster to keep the last shreds of your dignity. Might as well come with chaps.

I know something is wrong when the second most 'male' mind to my own in this thread is a woman.

Now if you will excuse me this thread has me depressed and I need to go snuggle with my honey bunny to feel better.

Haha, right on. Looks like bondage gear to me too. I think I'd rather carry a woman's purse than that man purse.

Anyway...back to watching Lifetime movies and crying in my ice cream.

That looks like something a bear would wear. And if you don't know what a bear is, feel free to turn off google image safe search and go looking. :D

Yes, you can. I can even refer you to the right people to get you started, and link you to a couple of web sites if you prefer the do it yourself route.

Be sure to contact the central recruiting office and tell them Gilda sent you--with two more recruits, I get the PLaystation 3 and the portable DVD player.

Can't guarantee the "gay" part, though. You'll have to take your chances on that.

~

-56 on that test. My sister says I'm a walking stereotype. I say that's cool with me. It's partly deliberate choice, but mostly just who I am.

Gilda

I can't believe I missed this post... Crack, I share the same traits as you.

The good news is, you don't have to worry. I know for certain that I am all male (even if I don't live up to the stereotype) and I fairly certain that same can be said for you.

Not spending all those hours watching sports and memorizing useless stats has left me with more time to have sex with my wife.

I'm Gilda, and I endorse this post.

I'm sorry, but you have mistaken stupid men for masculine men. They are not one and the same.

Get new male friends. Proper ones.

I also tend to dislike most fatasses who spend their friday night at the bar drinking and watching the game on the idiot tube. I believe if they like football so much, they should be out playing the sport, not watching it. Over the years I've come to understand that most sports fans are simply fans because they get to exercise a sort of mindless fervor when they cheer on whatever team they want to cheer on. So naturally when I see such people, in the back of my head I am thinking "what an asshole". Unless they are nice people of course, that changes things! :D

Not to mention I enjoy shopping for new clothes and try to stay somewhat fashionable. I find it fun because I get to decide the kind of impression I get to make on people without saying a word, but that's simply because I'm an image conscious person, not effeminate.

What I'm trying to say is, you don't have to pretend you are absolving yourself from your manhood and label yourself as a 'woman'. The best men, imho, are the men who have good taste, act in a fairly enlightened and mature manner, and yet revel and take pride in their masculinity.

I'd be interested to know what you would put in your purse though! If I left home with more things to put in my pockets than my wallet, phone, keys, and maybe a pair of sunglasses on sunny days, I'd feel like I was carrying too much crap with me.

I scored a 58, so apparently I'm pretty manly.

Actually, that's not entirely surprising since I have just had one of the manliest things I can think of for dinner.... Wild Boar. Then again, I ordered it from a restaraunt instead of hunting it down and killing it with my bare hands, so perhaps it isn't too manly....

What I found interesting were some of the stereotypes on the test itself. Inefficient is a female quality? Interesting...

Finally! Someone to grunt and build empires together with.

I don't grunt...but I'm interested in building empires.

After all, I scored a 45 when I re-tested today.