taboo

i have a question for you guys...i'd like to know if others here are in a simmilar situation. i'm 25 and living at home with my peeps. my work is in arts and entertainment, and it's a tough field to have constant work in. Everything is contract work most of the time--meaning, it's very difficult to become financially independant to the point that I can say that I can fend for myself in teh real world ect. Now granted, I can get any job as a secretary, waitress whatver to pay the bills if I wanted, but I've been lucky enough to have parents that really support me in my work and believe i can go very far with it. It's been getting prograssivley better, but still. I don;t want to be a weight for them, and I want to become self-sufficient. Thing is, I'm sacrificing the boring job that will bring in money and stable work, for my real career and passion. Anyone in the same situation? What kills me is the uncertainty of the entire situation.

Willravel

I have a crappy job to provide for my family. Did I make a mistake? I dunno. I'm saving so that I can do something I want to do. If you can find something that you love and that can make you financially stable, go for it. If not, bide your time.

SecretMethod70

Unfortunately, when dealing with something like the arts, it is sometimes necessary to have the foundation of supportive parents and/or friends when first getting started. The "boring job" is nice, theoretically, to help gain financial independence while pursuing a career in the arts, but realistically it can often become a hinderance. There are very few jobs which would be willing to work around the unstable schedule of an artist - one could probably count them on one hand. Even more importantly, one must also keep in mind that humans are naturally social creatures. Working in your "artistic" job for the daytime and then waiting tables at night may sound like a good idea to be financially stable, but it is not always the best idea for remaining mentally stable.

Be glad you have supportive parents who understand the difficulties inherent in pursuing a career in the arts and who believe in your ability to succeed - *many* artists do not have that. You know what you're reasonably capable of to minimize your burden on them, and you know what you need to keep your stress at healthy levels. Only you can know whether what you're doing is unreasonable.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

tecoyah

Many of us...who are now locked into a career we do not love, look back on lifes path and wish we had stayed the course to become Great at Something we Love. Please.....stick it out, and excell.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

maleficent

Life is never certain... Uncertaintly is around every corner. and I'm the last one that would be saying this, but there's also more to life than work (says the confirmed workaholic who has sacraficed a life at the expense of a career that I do love (on most days anyhow) Sometimes you have to do what you need to do in order to get what you want...

at your age it's OK to be doing what you are doing as long as your family is OK with it - and I'd sit them down regularly and make sure that you aren't a burden on them, and I'd also help out in every way I possibly could, since I'm not helping financially.

The realist in me also says that i'd also have some sort of short term and long term plan... as well as an end date... a time where i either make it doing what i love... or I cut bait and do what I need to do because at some point, it's no longer cute to be a struggling whatever still living at home with the parents...

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onodrim

I just graduated with a BM in vocal performance. I'm currently living at home with my parents. I made the decision in order to save money, but I can't lie, it generally sucks.

It's not easy. As long as you're still living under their roof, they will still view you as their "child" and you likely won't feel that total sense of indepence as an adult that you would desire. The best you can do is assert yourself when you can while being respectful at the same time. Unlike you, I'm trying to hold down that "boring" job while out auditioning for performance roles. (I'm currently a TA at a local high school) It would be great to have total flexibility and not worry about my "9 to 5" job, but the reality is that there are bills to pay. Also, by saving money not only does it help me create some indepedence from my parents, but it also helps plan towards getting out in the near future.

At the very least, now you know you're not alone.

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"The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides"
-Carl Sagan

Rodney

You're lucky to have understanding parents. Still, througout history there have always been individuals -- patrons -- who subsidized starving artists that they thought had skill, to give them the time to develop their art. Some of these people have been wealthy, or kings, or noblemen, but others have simply been generous art lovers with an apartment or shed they'd let an artist have for free or little, or casual work that they'd guarantee the artist whenever they were free to do so. Your patrons happen to be your parents; and, apart from loving you because you're their kid, they apparently think you have talent and are working hard.

It sounds like you're making progress in your career , and maybe your parents think so, too. I think you'd better have a talk with them to clear the air, at least for your sake.

What you have to say to them -- what you've said is your post -- is something every parent would like to hear a child express to them: gratitude, thoughtfulness (are you imposing too much), and the need for you and them to agree on boundaries _for you._

When you talk to them, Lay out where you are, how far you've come, and how far you need to go to become self-sufficient. Ask them if they're satisfied with your progress (and why), and how much longer they're willing to go supporting you. You bringing up these questions is a great favor to them, because if they've been beginning to have thoughts, you've spared them the awkwardness of raising them.

When this conversation is over, your parents will know where you are on your path, and you'll know how they feel about it and how they feel about continuing to support you. From there you can make decisions on how to proceed. Uncertainty will, I hope, be gone.