Being Present - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

maleficent · 04-30-2006, 11:57 AM

Somehow, I ended up on a mailing list, that occassionally, depending on my state of psychosis for that moment, has an interesting article in it... Today's article was on being present... The author is a "life coach", so my cynical side says take this all with a grain of salt...

Quote:

The Power of Presence
By Claudette Rowley
I would like to share with you a powerful way of being that I've practiced over the past few months: being present in each moment. Being present means being aware or conscious of what's going on inside of you, and allowing it without judgment. This level of consciousness gives us full freedom to be who we are. It also brings a tremendous sense of inner peace.

How do you know when you're present?

You know you are present when you feel at ease with yourself. There's no underlying tension, your mind isn't chattering on in judgment of you or someone else. You are also present when you ALLOW a moment to be as it is. For example, you notice that you have a story in your mind about a situation. And you observe it as a story not as truth. Or you feel a negative emotion and you notice that without judging it. You stay in the moment of whatever you are feeling.

What stops us from being present?

Reviewing the past and projecting into the future. Many of us spend half of our time ruminating about the past and reliving our emotions about it. Then based on what we've experienced in the past, we project into the future about circumstances that may never occur. Our mind makes up fear-based stories that catapult out of the present and into a made-up future. In other words, we end up resisting the present moment in fear of what the future might bring.

Let me clarify: By future projections, I mean imagined scenarios that cause emotional strain, such as "What if this happens or that happens?" versus planning for the practical matters of life, such as scheduling your October vacation. Another way of thinking about this is psychological time which always causes fear or strain versus the time we keep by clock which we use to organize the practical matters of life.

What are avenues for being present?

Observe. When you notice that your mind has made up a story about the past or the future, simply observe it. Observation of the story will bring you right into the present. After a while, you'll start to notice that you are not your story, and that two separate entities exist: you in the present and your mind with its story.

Allow. Allow whatever is in the moment to be there. It is what it is. Once you begin observing and allowing, you'll notice how often you resist the moment you are in. That resistance keeps you in your head and out of the present.

Here's an example of the distinction between allowing and resisting. At times when my nine month old son is cranky and I'm frustrated, my natural reaction is resistance. In other words, I want the moment to be different than it is, which creates stress. Those times that I've allowed the situation to be what it is, I felt present and experienced peace.

Once I've become aware of my resistance to what's occurring - I'll often experience it as physical tension - I'll say to myself, "I don't like this moment." or "I'm noticing that I feel frustrated and impatient." Simply observing and allowing what I experience brings a conscious level of awareness.

We each have an inner peace and freedom that already exists inside of us. Our job is to release the muck surrounding it, and reclaim as our own. Stay present by ALLOWING what's there to be there. Then you can accept it, change it or talk to someone about it. By spending so much time in the past and the future, we often resist the gem that's right in front of us.

I'm not sure I've ever reached this state of mind... The self-judgemental chatter in my head rarely shuts off long enough for me to be in that state...

Do you find yourself being "present" and do you find it helps to achive that piece of mind that I think so many are searching for... Does my saying, even to myself, I notice I'm pissed as all get out right now and I want to throw things actually help to improve one's state of mind... or does supressing it and not allowing myself to be pissed and throwing some people/things out actually make the situation worse.

How often are you in the present, and do you find it helpful for your state of mind? Or is this a bunch of self-help psych 101 related hooey?

savvypup · 04-30-2006, 03:38 PM

I think projecting how you think things may turn out in the future is a common and expected thing to do. Although you can't predict, I like to prepare myself for the 'wot ifs' in life even if they don't happen.

Plus we learn from past behaviour or events so to keep these lessons that are good examples close would only be natural.

Sure, we can attempt to live the present with no obstructions or outside influence, but would we not go around in circles reliving the past then? Otherwise, wouldn't you have done the past differently too? I'm off the track now aren't I. See! - circles.

Cynthetiq · 04-30-2006, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by savvypup

I think projecting how you think things may turn out in the future is a common and expected thing to do. Although you can't predict, I like to prepare myself for the 'wot ifs' in life even if they don't happen.

Plus we learn from past behaviour or events so to keep these lessons that are good examples close would only be natural.

Sure, we can attempt to live the present with no obstructions or outside influence, but would we not go around in circles reliving the past then? Otherwise, wouldn't you have done the past differently too? I'm off the track now aren't I. See! - circles.

Living in the present does not mean not learning from history. It means being present when you are supposed to be, examples: class, work, etc. thinking about the task, situation at hand, immediately in front of you instead of thinking what you are going to say in response, what you are going to do later tonight, the weekend, next month.

Living in the present also means taking the time to do such things as looking introspectively and retrospectively during the times to do so, such as when doing a post mortem on a project, looking back at a situation that went awry, where you took the wrong turn in the directions, etc.

Quote:

Plus we learn from past behaviour or events so to keep these lessons that are good examples close would only be natural.

animals don't keep lessons clase at hand. animals are the de facto standard of what should be natural. A horse will never act like a cat, nor will a cat act like a dog. Their natural state of being is just being, that's the idea of being present. Just being.

raeanna74 · 04-30-2006, 04:23 PM

The more important an event is the less I am in the moment up until the event. If the event has the potential of changing my life drastically I cannot live in the moment until it passes. Once it's passed it's not nearly as disruptive to my state of mind.

savvypup · 04-30-2006, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Living in the present also means taking the time to do such things as looking introspectively and retrospectively during the times to do so, such as when doing a post mortem on a project, looking back at a situation that went awry, where you took the wrong turn in the directions, etc.

To me this is the same thing. Picking apart your past choices or actions

Cynthetiq · 05-01-2006, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by savvypup

To me this is the same thing. Picking apart your past choices or actions

The difference is that you don't do it DURING a situation, you do it AFTER when you've decided that's the time to devote to it, so that at that time it becomes the activity of the present. If you do it while you are trying to be in a present situation, then you aren't in the present, you are worried about the future, or dissecting the past.

04-30-2006, 03:38 PM	#2 (permalink)
savvypup Crazy Location: Want to run away? Follow the light	I think projecting how you think things may turn out in the future is a common and expected thing to do. Although you can't predict, I like to prepare myself for the 'wot ifs' in life even if they don't happen. Plus we learn from past behaviour or events so to keep these lessons that are good examples close would only be natural. Sure, we can attempt to live the present with no obstructions or outside influence, but would we not go around in circles reliving the past then? Otherwise, wouldn't you have done the past differently too? I'm off the track now aren't I. See! - circles. __________________ ciao bella!

04-30-2006, 04:23 PM	#4 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	The more important an event is the less I am in the moment up until the event. If the event has the potential of changing my life drastically I cannot live in the moment until it passes. Once it's passed it's not nearly as disruptive to my state of mind. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.