How to Tip a Belly Dancer - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Sultana · 07-29-2005, 02:01 PM

You know, it’s funny. Every time I perform a belly dance show in a restaurant or at a private party, there is always at least one person (usually a guy) who becomes very intimidated at the thought of tipping. They want to join in the fun and show their appreciation, but once they get that bill out and I make my way over to them, they suddenly realize that the ball is in their court, and there’s a look on their face like they’ve been asked to dress a snake. In formal wear, no less. I’ve had to pause and encourage these timid souls who are terrified of accidentally touching me, or offending me somehow. I’ve also learned to deal with the misguided folks who overcompensate, and need a delicate touch to help them avoid embarrassment – graciousness goes a long way!

So, in the tradition of some of the other TFP How-To articles I’ve read (stellar, those!), I thought I’d compile a Guide to Tipping Your Local Belly Dancer, in hopes of illuminating a relatively little-known custom to the worthies here.

Why Tip?
Tipping a belly dancer shows appreciation for the performance, as well as being a sweet gesture of audience participation. Unlike tipping your wait staff, you shouldn’t feel obligated. It’s an act of joy and generosity, not simply disposing of your small bills to an unknown charity at the airport because people are staring at you. It shouldn’t be perceived as begging or of the performer lowering herself. It’s generally expected to be part of the show when a belly dancer is hired for a party.

Also, especially in a restaurant setting, it’s not uncommon for the dancer to be receiving a very low wage (especially as the providers of a very specialized skill!), and tips are the only way to balance the budget, at it were. They are always much appreciated.

Ways to Tip:
Tucking in costume – Tucking tips into the costume is the best-known and most popular method in the US. Most professional belly dancers are very aware of this, and when done respectfully, have no problem. Respectful is the key word here (although you don’t have to be reverential, silly!). There are two obvious costume pieces useful for collecting tips, the hip belt and the bra. Either way, expect the performer to continue moving somewhat, as the show can’t stop for every tip. Simply fold (not wad, thank you very much) the bill into a manageable size and slip it securely inside (this may require practice! :P). If necessary, gently and lightly grasp the costume bit for the minute amount of space needed to secure the bill. Don’t worry about the bill slipping out later, she’ll have someone else pick up whatever money may fall.

I personally feel most comfortable with folks using the belt…there’s more room (ahem), and I’m less vulnerable to “funny stuff”. I can swing my hips away faster and with more force than I can shift my torso. It hasn’t happened often (in my 10+ years of performances), but the dancer always has to be aware of what “could” happen.
Of course, there are performers who don’t mind accepting tips in the bra…if this is something you feel compelled to try, pay attention to the performer and make sure she’s cool with it. I myself will gracefully cross my arms in front and/or turn around. Back of the bra or the shoulder straps are ok, although bills have a way of sticking up awkwardly and getting in the way. Avoid the bra cups, OK? That’s the privileged tipping realm of cheeky Turkish grandmothers who do it because they know I don’t allow others to do that.

Some performers don’t like to accept tips on the body at all, and will instead use a tip jar. If you want to tip, but haven’t seen the dancer accept tips from anyone else yet, doesn’t have a bill in her belt already (when you see a bill in a belt at the beginning of a set, that’s seed money, lets the audience know she’ll accept tips there, heh. Ancient Orientale belly dance secrets, right here!), and you’re uncertain how to proceed, simply wait until she’s nearby and offer the money. If she has a jar, she should point to it. If she offers her hip, do that. Just go with the flow.

The more traditional Middle Eastern way to tip is called a money shower, and involves no touching at all (and more bills!). The patron simply stands up when the dancer is near, and holding a stack of bills in the palm of one hand, brushes the bills one by one in rapid succession off the stack over the dancer’s head, essentially “showering” her with money and appreciation. It’s nice because the performer doesn’t have to stop moving to accept it, and of course it’s usually more tippage. If you want to impress the dancer with your generosity, go this route!

What to Avoid:
Of course there are a few things to avoid when tipping.
#1 Be a gentleman or lady and don’t get touchy feely. Of course, don’t look inside the costume piece you're tipping into either. LOL.
#2 Check your hands! Don’t get food on the expensive costume.
#3 If you’re gonna do it, do it. Don’t take too long and interrupt the show for everyone else.
#4 Check your bills. New bills can actually scratch and cut. No need to fold them into sharp-angled poky shapes. It sounds strange, but I have been severely scratched with bills.
#5 Don’t offer money with your mouth/teeth. However fun the intentions, that is degrading. Plus, you don’t want money in your mouth—that stuff is filthy!

Well, I hope you’ve enjoyed and learned from the esoteric little article. I encourage all of you to hire good belly dancers for your parties, patronize restaurants that offer quality belly dancing, and tip good dancers generously and well.
Shukran (Thank you)

Scorpion23 · 07-29-2005, 07:00 PM

My gf just started Belly Dancing lessons and I must say I'm enjoying it, although I haven't had to tip yet

2sheds · 08-03-2005, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sultana

The more traditional Middle Eastern way to tip is called a money shower, and involves no touching at all (and more bills!). The patron simply stands up when the dancer is near, and holding a stack of bills in the palm of one hand, brushes the bills one by one in rapid succession off the stack over the dancer’s head, essentially “showering” her with money and appreciation. It’s nice because the performer doesn’t have to stop moving to accept it, and of course it’s usually more tippage. If you want to impress the dancer with your generosity, go this route!

i witnessed this method at a wedding. my former sister-in-law did a little inpromptu belly dancing, and the father of the groom did the money shower thing. the bride's family (my then in-laws) are all white, while the grooms family was a mixture of some middle eastern region (sorry, i don't know specificly which area) and white. the bride's family thought the money shower was odd, i think they likened it to tipping a stripper or something. i thought it was cool, as did my sister-in-law.

quadro2000 · 08-08-2005, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sultana

So, in the tradition of some of the other TFP How-To articles I’ve read (stellar, those!), I thought I’d compile a Guide to Tipping Your Local Belly Dancer, in hopes of illuminating a relatively little-known custom to the worthies here.

Mom! I thought I asked you not to post here!

Thanks for a great tutorial. I really enjoyed your writing style and insight.

Sultana · 08-09-2005, 02:03 PM

Quadro2000 - Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

But the Mom thing...lol.

2sheds - You know, it's funny, I always forget the stripper/tipping connotation...I guess 'cause I haven't seen any (strippers), and after belly dancing for so long, well, I only think of the dance. But folks seem to get over/past that fairly quickly.

Scorpion23 - Start saving your dollars!

And they *don't* have to be just $1s, OK?

Scorpion23 · 08-09-2005, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sultana

Start saving your dollars!

And they *don't* have to be just $1s, OK?

I tipped her with 20's this weekend, but I got them back later

Although I believe she was improvising since I don't think some of that was included in the lessons

bobillydylan · 08-09-2005, 03:43 PM

Sultana what an excellent insight into the world of Belly danceing, ive never actually seen a belly dance live. would love to see one now though

07-29-2005, 02:01 PM	#1 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	How to Tip a Belly Dancer You know, it’s funny. Every time I perform a belly dance show in a restaurant or at a private party, there is always at least one person (usually a guy) who becomes very intimidated at the thought of tipping. They want to join in the fun and show their appreciation, but once they get that bill out and I make my way over to them, they suddenly realize that the ball is in their court, and there’s a look on their face like they’ve been asked to dress a snake. In formal wear, no less. I’ve had to pause and encourage these timid souls who are terrified of accidentally touching me, or offending me somehow. I’ve also learned to deal with the misguided folks who overcompensate, and need a delicate touch to help them avoid embarrassment – graciousness goes a long way! So, in the tradition of some of the other TFP How-To articles I’ve read (stellar, those!), I thought I’d compile a Guide to Tipping Your Local Belly Dancer, in hopes of illuminating a relatively little-known custom to the worthies here. Why Tip? Tipping a belly dancer shows appreciation for the performance, as well as being a sweet gesture of audience participation. Unlike tipping your wait staff, you shouldn’t feel obligated. It’s an act of joy and generosity, not simply disposing of your small bills to an unknown charity at the airport because people are staring at you. It shouldn’t be perceived as begging or of the performer lowering herself. It’s generally expected to be part of the show when a belly dancer is hired for a party. Also, especially in a restaurant setting, it’s not uncommon for the dancer to be receiving a very low wage (especially as the providers of a very specialized skill!), and tips are the only way to balance the budget, at it were. They are always much appreciated. Ways to Tip: Tucking in costume – Tucking tips into the costume is the best-known and most popular method in the US. Most professional belly dancers are very aware of this, and when done respectfully, have no problem. Respectful is the key word here (although you don’t have to be reverential, silly!). There are two obvious costume pieces useful for collecting tips, the hip belt and the bra. Either way, expect the performer to continue moving somewhat, as the show can’t stop for every tip. Simply fold (not wad, thank you very much) the bill into a manageable size and slip it securely inside (this may require practice! :P). If necessary, gently and lightly grasp the costume bit for the minute amount of space needed to secure the bill. Don’t worry about the bill slipping out later, she’ll have someone else pick up whatever money may fall. I personally feel most comfortable with folks using the belt…there’s more room (ahem), and I’m less vulnerable to “funny stuff”. I can swing my hips away faster and with more force than I can shift my torso. It hasn’t happened often (in my 10+ years of performances), but the dancer always has to be aware of what “could” happen. Of course, there are performers who don’t mind accepting tips in the bra…if this is something you feel compelled to try, pay attention to the performer and make sure she’s cool with it. I myself will gracefully cross my arms in front and/or turn around. Back of the bra or the shoulder straps are ok, although bills have a way of sticking up awkwardly and getting in the way. Avoid the bra cups, OK? That’s the privileged tipping realm of cheeky Turkish grandmothers who do it because they know I don’t allow others to do that. Some performers don’t like to accept tips on the body at all, and will instead use a tip jar. If you want to tip, but haven’t seen the dancer accept tips from anyone else yet, doesn’t have a bill in her belt already (when you see a bill in a belt at the beginning of a set, that’s seed money, lets the audience know she’ll accept tips there, heh. Ancient Orientale belly dance secrets, right here!), and you’re uncertain how to proceed, simply wait until she’s nearby and offer the money. If she has a jar, she should point to it. If she offers her hip, do that. Just go with the flow. The more traditional Middle Eastern way to tip is called a money shower, and involves no touching at all (and more bills!). The patron simply stands up when the dancer is near, and holding a stack of bills in the palm of one hand, brushes the bills one by one in rapid succession off the stack over the dancer’s head, essentially “showering” her with money and appreciation. It’s nice because the performer doesn’t have to stop moving to accept it, and of course it’s usually more tippage. If you want to impress the dancer with your generosity, go this route! What to Avoid: Of course there are a few things to avoid when tipping. #1 Be a gentleman or lady and don’t get touchy feely. Of course, don’t look inside the costume piece you're tipping into either. LOL. #2 Check your hands! Don’t get food on the expensive costume. #3 If you’re gonna do it, do it. Don’t take too long and interrupt the show for everyone else. #4 Check your bills. New bills can actually scratch and cut. No need to fold them into sharp-angled poky shapes. It sounds strange, but I have been severely scratched with bills. #5 Don’t offer money with your mouth/teeth. However fun the intentions, that is degrading. Plus, you don’t want money in your mouth—that stuff is filthy! Well, I hope you’ve enjoyed and learned from the esoteric little article. I encourage all of you to hire good belly dancers for your parties, patronize restaurants that offer quality belly dancing, and tip good dancers generously and well. Shukran (Thank you) __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

08-09-2005, 02:03 PM	#5 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	Quadro2000 - Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. But the Mom thing...lol. 2sheds - You know, it's funny, I always forget the stripper/tipping connotation...I guess 'cause I haven't seen any (strippers), and after belly dancing for so long, well, I only think of the dance. But folks seem to get over/past that fairly quickly. Scorpion23 - Start saving your dollars! And they don't have to be just $1s, OK? __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

08-09-2005, 03:43 PM	#7 (permalink)
bobillydylan Tilted Location: uk	Sultana what an excellent insight into the world of Belly danceing, ive never actually seen a belly dance live. would love to see one now though __________________ Yes and only if my own true love was waiting, And i could hear her heart a softly pounding, Yes and only if she was lying by me! Then i would lie in my bed once again.

07-29-2005, 07:00 PM	#2 (permalink)
Scorpion23 Psycho	My gf just started Belly Dancing lessons and I must say I'm enjoying it, although I haven't had to tip yet