Randerolf

I once was a profuse writer at one of my old forums that I’d visit and loved to think deeply and discuss thought provoking topics with those who may not have normally done so. The forum deteriorated, stagnated and I ended up leaving.

I found the TFP and have enjoyed reading ever since. Now I am the debutante and there’s so much here that I love learning about. Here’s something to give back.

Cheers to TFP and to Kush for showing me this wonderful gem.
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A bit of info from
Kevin Zrally - a master sommelier - and myself, a simple server with a few year's experience.

1. Make sure the bottle is well chilled.
2. Make sure Al Green or Barry White album is not skipping (optional)
3. Cut foil from the bottle
4. Zrally now recommends placing and keeping your hand over the top of the cork until the cork is removed. This is awkward and unsexy. I would recommend simply pointing the bottle in a safe direction for a moment or at that cat that you can’t stand.
5. Really, try it with the cat. Zrally's book says that a bottle of bubble has a psi of 90/ six atmospheres. "Roughly three times the pressure in your automobile tire."
6. Undo the wire.
7. Zrally, now recommends placing a cloth over the top of the cork, should it pop off. Following his lead, I suggest wearing a flame-retardant suit while we're at it.
8. Gently twist the cork one way while twisting the bottle the other way. Remove the cork slowly in this manner. There should be no loud pop; Dale Earnhardt Jr is poor example to follow. The carbon dioxide is lost, losing precious bubbly, but feel free to yell, "It don't mean shit right now... Daddy's won here ten times
9. Enjoy - champagne is delicious!

Redlemon

When I do that, I also am pressing down on the cork, as if I am trying to force the cork back into the neck. This way, once the internal pressure forces the cork out of the neck, there is only the slightest 'pop', and almost never any liquid loss. Hold for five seconds, then remove cork.

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Furry

*Agrees with Redlemon*

If you do it perfectly, it should make a *shhhump* sound.

Oh, and...

10. Tilt champagne flute at 45 degrees. Pour bubbly into glass making sure it hits the glass walls first, this prevents excessive frothing. How you hold the bottle depends on who you're sharing with and what the occasion is.

11. Carefully untilt the flute as it fills .

12. Don't spill any!

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Furry is the leader of his own cult, the "Furballs of Doom". They sit about chanting "Doom, Doom, Doom".
(From a random shot in the dark by SirLance)

Redlemon

An alternate to Furry's list:

10. Have SO kneel on hands and knees, naked, tilting butt upwards.

11. Pour champagne into hollow formed in small of back. Some will probably pour over the edge; that's fine, it'll tingle nicely.

12. Slurp champagne off of SO's back.

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THGL

You had me scared there for a second. Before I read it, I was thinking that #11 was having to do with said bottle.

black94lt1

Oh my god, that had me in tears! That was a great line.

superiorrain

So this is the wrong way is it? always thought i was doing something wrong, i just couldn't tell what.

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"The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible." - Arthur C. Clarke

Randerolf

A bottle of Bud came to mind: there's more than one way to open one without a church key.

Twist, push in for five seconds, and then ease is out? Hmmmm. I've give it a try and see how I like it.

thingstodo

All very good advice. I like the bit about the cat....

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If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves.

Stangers have the best candy.

Redlemon

Not quite; the cork is already out of the bottle after the twist, but you are covering the mouth of the bottle with the (now expanded) end of the cork.

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evilbeefchan

Great post! I must try this out when I turn 21 (this saturday!)

Any thoughts on sabering, or would that be a bit too excessive?